Are You Evil?
Season 7, Episode 45Speaker 1: Hail the Junk Fort Boys, in the night they roam, solving woes with fire and sloat.
Speaker 1: With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate, explosions mark the hours never late.
Speaker 2: Hello, welcome to the Junk Fort Boys, an actual play RPG podcast set in the Blades in the Dark System and Universe,
Speaker 2: featuring three guttersnipes who rose from the streets of Dustfall to a junk fort in the sky,
Speaker 4: thanks dad yeah charles and her obleday i'm gonna turn this car back to winnipeg
Speaker 2: juggles would be from winnipeg uh no not the d's and double day those are those are not silent
Speaker 4: I'm sure it was brought up in council, but I don't know if it ever passed the committee.
Speaker 4: Chuckles and Patches wandered the party for a long time, talking to more party guests.
Speaker 4: They got the sense that something weird was going to happen at the after party, and everyone was thinking, orgy.
Speaker 4: Finally, Patches and Chuckles talked to Chef Roselle, and she directed them to the basement.
Speaker 4: Squish reached the center of the maze, where Evelyn was there, and she promptly knocked Squish out.
Speaker 4: Patches and Chuckles reached the end of the basement, found the cult that smells like flowers waiting for them,
Speaker 4: Now they must face the cult, get some answers, and get out before someone starts blasting.
Speaker 2: It looks like a little leather thing in all those old movies and they whack people with it.
Speaker 4: your trials patches, specifically you, there's been these odd occurrences that you haven't been able to
Speaker 4: explain. For example, one time you got drunk at a bar and as you were leaving, a fight broke out.
Speaker 4: Nothing you did, but a fight broke out while you were there. Someone was trying to pit pocket Neelix
Speaker 4: and was caught. When you as a group were in Duskable, walking back to the junk fort one night,
Speaker 4: somebody cracked out of the shadows and then they tripped and fell and were not able to
Speaker 5: the last three years as you've made your travels and now it's come to this and madame bouquet says
Speaker 4: it's like you aren't even trying to keep him hidden every time we we hear another story oh we let neelix
Speaker 4: out of the bottle and he became a giant leviathan dressed in a skirt trying to to scare away another
Speaker 4: leviathan or neelix neelix became madame antoinette and tried to lure something away lure another
Speaker 4: if you don't hand over neelix then i think we'll just have to say goodbye to your friends
Speaker 4: uh ropes and like lifts her uh she's not actually lifting her though you can see that there's these
Speaker 4: vines that are kind of like you know obviously under her command that lift up lady high hill and
Speaker 4: they kind of like lift her up into the air and kind of give her a jostle lady high hill screams
Speaker 4: beneath her her gag um she looks distressed she looks like she did not come willingly uh she may
Speaker 4: have some uh fabric ripped on her dress oh nice she has some scratches you know she's not beaten up
Speaker 4: The few lights that had illuminated the walls suddenly dim and then flare up again.
Speaker 4: And there appears to be an altar at the center with a human-esque shape in the center.
Speaker 4: uh you know yeah so you roll the bottle towards them uh and madame bouquet catches it with her
Speaker 4: foot she doesn't pick it up she catches it with her foot uh and she glances down at it what do
Speaker 5: you see when you look in these bottles uh i just i uh smoke just smoke yeah just smoke okay yeah
Speaker 4: And she looks to Evelyn and Evelyn reaches out her hand and she snatches the bottle from Madame Bouquet.
Speaker 4: And with almost like the ease of a well-trained cowboy, she just onto Hotman and pulls him down.
Speaker 4: yeah so you you're wiggling over over she kind of again she kind of kicked you over um you wiggle
Speaker 4: over to hopman what would you like to do hopman you look and see in hopman hopman has like tears
Speaker 4: coming out of his eyes flame tears so it's more like steam and he's just like it really it really
Speaker 3: hurts it really hurts well i would just because i can't really talk to him so like i like to like
Speaker 4: don't see whisper on here uh if that's what you were referring to i don't see anything on here
Speaker 4: go ahead and roll your consort with him um just to see how well you can get your point across
Speaker 4: uh you're able to dodge the immediate vines coming up and reaching for you but you are
Speaker 5: okay because i'm past stresses i'm all i'm full up on stress i have subterfuge supplies
Speaker 4: it's got a trauma yeah you gotta take another trauma i can't do that it won't let me
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like that, to try and fend off the vines, to scare them in a threatening manner, threatening, stabbing manner.
Speaker 4: so you you start unfortunately when you pull out your knife it is a little comically smaller than
Speaker 4: perhaps you realize in the moment it's one of those like meant for like very fine detail uh so you
Speaker 4: start you start stabbing and unfortunately all it does is release this kind of like strange goo
Speaker 4: from the vines that's like an acid splash when you see it drop onto the concrete so cutting these
Speaker 4: vines will result in you getting a little bit of an acid splash which would be painful so
Speaker 4: something to keep in mind yeah yeah we'll go ahead and call that a harm which level
Speaker 4: oh just level one yeah you just got a little splash on you um now squish while all of this
Speaker 4: Perfect. So, Patches, you are now being held by the vines. You feel them kind of crawling over you. They're searching for the bottle, and it's getting a little uncomfortable for you. How would you like to respond to that?
Speaker 5: Also, if you think I hid Neelix in some obvious place, like where I keep my liquor, you got another thing coming.
Speaker 4: So I'm going to assume that you have brought Neelix with you, considering you bring him everywhere.
Speaker 4: well we'll have we'll have you go uh uh sorry uh chuckles before we make the next maneuver
Speaker 2: i'm not really sure i just i guess i just want to stay guard i but i don't have a good uh
Speaker 2: wow great great idea so you did you did get wrapped up are you and you're getting slowly
Speaker 2: pulled away okay then i'll grab his arm held in place oh just held in place then yeah i'll
Speaker 2: try to pull him out then i'll grab him i'll grab him on his wrist and try to pull him out
Speaker 4: um patches you're going to be more loose where you can actually maneuver and do things now at
Speaker 4: this point you're not so held up um but the the group that is here has now seen what's happening
Speaker 4: including tam mazaran which as you guys know uh has a has a master plan uh from his robes you see
Speaker 4: suddenly just something fly into the air and break you hear the glass shatter oh no and suddenly
Speaker 4: brutalized boys the brutalized boys a gas starts filling the room um and starts uh just making
Speaker 4: things difficult hard to see um evelyn uh yells and she's like you idiot now i can't see them either
Speaker 4: uh and she crosses towards where she thinks you are patches um to try and find your your neelix
Speaker 4: bottle um madame bouquet you hear a slap as madame bouquet slaps somebody um and you see the dark
Speaker 4: hooded uh figures before you uh the three that were standing around they're kind of all moving
Speaker 4: around now things have kind of gotten chaotic now that tam mazarin has released some sort of gas
Speaker 4: um squish you are now loosened uh your hands and feet are are free uh from binded bondage
Speaker 4: her you can't make out what it says uh but moments later uh you you see this like large another large
Speaker 4: vine creature this one with the head of a rose kind of like crack open from the road from the
Speaker 4: round beneath you and rear up kind of like a big scary monster uh yelling at you uh this is going
Speaker 4: to be i'm gonna place her kind of off to the uh see she was here off to the side here uh near lady
Speaker 5: The drug fort boys, I got to start burning shit if we're going to get out of this scrape.
Speaker 4: okay partial success yeah yeah so you you are able to pull pull the hooks out um i don't think you
Speaker 4: do it very well i think you probably like definitely just like yank them out instead of
Speaker 4: like finagling them out like a fish hook you know you kind of pull upwards and out you just
Speaker 4: yeah i'm i'm gonna say uh you're you're definitely i'm gonna have you take a few
Speaker 4: stress for that and just miss him entirely just take two stress all right um and just miss him
Speaker 4: and you're taking the stress because not only is that embarrassing but it happened in front of your
Speaker 4: girlfriend both of them both of your girlfriends um yeah so evelyn uh evelyn's kind of following
Speaker 4: you squish and she's just shouting at you she's like i have spent years i have spent decades
Speaker 4: trying to get this together trying to piece it together and it's always just been in the hands
Speaker 4: of you three idiots i don't understand it and as she shouts the room shakes even more um patches
Speaker 4: uh squish uh you you are backing away or running rather from from evelyn who is trying to catch up
Speaker 3: with you um what would you like to do next um i'm gonna turn around and i'm gonna shoot tam
Speaker 4: It's more emotion you've seen in this woman's face than you have the entire time tonight.
Speaker 4: They're coming up and trying to almost nip you in the leg or cut you slightly as you come by.
Speaker 2: i want to go help squish somehow okay uh so maybe what oh how nice yeah so i'm gonna go run since
Speaker 2: right into the butt right at the well yeah right at the butt in the hip area the tuchus yes
Speaker 4: you Liu Kang her butt uh kick her solidly in the butt um when you hit her you've punched and
Speaker 4: kicked a lot of people before this is a not a new fighting style for you and Evelyn's not a very big
Speaker 4: woman she's relatively short kind of petite um but when you kick her in the butt it's like hitting a
Speaker 5: brick wall. Ouch. Yeah. So I mean, she works out. And what I mean to say that is that you don't
Speaker 4: take any harm, but you, she is decidedly dense for how hard you kick her. Um, but you are
Speaker 4: successful in stopping her from, uh, charging towards, um, from charging towards a squish.
Speaker 4: Uh, she kind of stumbles and stops and kind of like for a second, just like looks disoriented,
Speaker 3: That way, if it's a really good one and it's bleeding, she's going to be confused.
Speaker 4: Like a strong arm has taken your weapon and just like shakes it out of your hand while you're trying to shoot.
Speaker 4: But you see him kind of like pull into his pocket and he goes, ah, ah, and he chucks it.
Speaker 3: why don't you not squish chuckle why don't you go try to free uh lady high hill all right well i
Speaker 2: yeah i just got done kicking a cement wall and then i'm gonna go reach for lady high hill although
Speaker 3: can i tell hopman to do something yeah burn burn burn i don't think you need to tell him that i
Speaker 3: think he's got it well he so far hasn't he's got it or anybody well he is he hasn't been doing
Speaker 4: anything he did burn one cult uh cult guy uh yeah if you want to commit you do have to command him
Speaker 4: that's that's the one trick with him so uh i don't think i have any in command yeah gotta be his dom
Speaker 3: you gotta be his dom daddy his dom daddy well either way it's a failure three uh he does not
Speaker 4: And she gets her hands and she starts like scrabbling at her mouth, like trying to release her mouth.
Speaker 4: which turns out is just the cult member that you actually hit with your shoulder,
Speaker 3: I want to do a flashback to when we were on the boat right before we went to the party.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we have a further flashback where it reveals you were the one who installed my bottle holder and my pants.
Speaker 4: And I'm going to say, because Tam Mazaran has his own pockets of interesting goo, it doesn't just explode.
Speaker 4: Evelyn turns and sees Ted Mazarin is missing and, like, gets a little more panicky as the moment she goes,
Speaker 4: uh madame bouquet uh is there and she she draws herself in for a second and she goes yes yes of
Speaker 4: course uh and she runs towards this altar now again there was an altar kind of in the middle
Speaker 4: of the room where these you know lady high hill was being threatened to put into um and she
Speaker 4: when i say it's an altar it's a uh clear circle on the floor and there's this strange statue in it
Speaker 5: the altar i thought it was bigfoot maybe evelyn well she's her daughter so maybe it's a little
Speaker 4: bigfoot yeah i i i said madame bouquet it was getting into the altar so i just want to make
Speaker 4: sure are you jumping jumping on her anyway i thought you said evelyn was getting in the altar
Speaker 4: no madame bouquet is getting in the altar she said mother it's time to do something about madame
Speaker 4: okay yeah i i think you got a good hold of one of her ankles you didn't pull her out completely but
Speaker 4: you're definitely like slowing her and she's kind of like doing one of those things where she's like
Speaker 2: kicking from behind i'm just yanking on her gigantic fucking feet yeah on her big old
Speaker 4: all right i got five you've horribly disfigured so you throw it you throw it at evelyn um and it's
Speaker 2: kind of a good news bad news situation earlier oh yeah but it didn't work which was was very
Speaker 5: It's one of those situations where in the heat of the moment, I'm not really sure what I'm doing.
Speaker 5: I'm just kind of like, it's one of those like, it's less of a, I'm trying to stop her more.
Speaker 4: Madame Bouquet is laying on her back, unable to catch her breath because she's just been arm barred.
Speaker 4: You throw your hooks into the burning flame, and the burning figure catches them mid-throw.
Speaker 4: And just by, you know, you're skidding your feet, and she pulls them, and she stares at you.
Speaker 4: highlighted okay um so uh patches and uh squish you guys bulk it out of there um but because you
Speaker 4: are holding on to lady high who is a little you know less frail she's in heels chuckles
Speaker 4: chuckles you start running as well you feel this like tingling at the back of your head
Speaker 4: and as you're running you kind of just hear her whispering she's like oh don't you miss me yes
Speaker 2: Yeah, she probably can with those long legs that she's always stepping on me with.
Speaker 4: And the voice dies away as you cross the threshold into the basement and up the stairs.
Speaker 4: You see Mr. Taylor and his wife snoozing in each other's arms as you as you run out of the building.
Speaker 4: Yes. And you run out into the courthouse, into the front gate where all the, you know,
Speaker 4: rickshaws and carriages were. And then you run out onto the street away from the main building.
Speaker 4: away from away from the rubble uh as as the building burns you do see the tailors have
Speaker 4: walked out uh they're alive i'm not gonna kill them i love them too much all right but they're
Speaker 2: closer in tatters they're they're charred yeah but it's fine they're tailors this is fine for them
Speaker 4: this is normal nice and they're burn victims uh you know no they're they're uh walking arm and arm