- Crew of the Kahuna

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Hail the Junk Fort Boys, in the night they roam at bay, solving woes with fire and sloat.

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With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate, explosions mark the hours never late.

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Hello and welcome to the Junk Fort Boys, an actual play RPG podcast featuring three gutter snipes who rose from the streets of Duskwall,

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to a junk fort in the sky, a junk barge in the sewers,

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and now a junk ship on the seas or waiting in port full of ghosts.

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And my name is Andy, and I play Squish.

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Coming in hot!

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Tarquish Sunder, a.k.a. Squish.

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And Squish's fact for this week is that when he started at the Gilded Plum,

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he wanted to do a charity thing.

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He wanted to give to charity.

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so he decided

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to start a charity called

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Cakes

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Cakes with

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oh shit

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I had it

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I can't believe I'm blinking on this

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we're skipping you too

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yeah skip me

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and cut this out of the recording

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I get it

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I had it

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everything that's in the show is in the show

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say.

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All right.

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Well,

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I'm tired.

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I play Charles Zander

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Juggles Doubleday,

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a tinker with an

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onion in the guts,

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fixer of machines

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with a knack for

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the nuts.

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Juggles fact this

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week is Juggles

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also eats human

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food.

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I feel like you

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guys don't appreciate

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that.

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I'm not just saying

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onions, other

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things, chicken

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fingers, maybe.

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and that's it

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and onions

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onions is also human food

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I remembered it

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I remembered it

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if it helps

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no

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no this is a disaster

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okay

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okay

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well he did

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cake-a-wish

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squish

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squish

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did cake-a-wish

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oh

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it's where he

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he made

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birthday cakes

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for orphans

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on their birthdays

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oh shit

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but

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He only made one cake a year because all the orphans celebrated their birthday all day or once a year.

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So he just had to make one cake.

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Yeah.

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But he celebrated Cake-A-Wish.

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Wait, but also Squish doesn't have a birthday.

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Well, orphans don't need to know that.

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No, I know, but I'm just saying.

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That's why the charity is so near and dear to his heart.

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Yeah, it's interesting.

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How do orphans know what day they were born if they were never told?

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That's why it was all celebrated on one day.

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See?

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Do you think orphans celebrate a gotcha day like they do with dogs that get adopted?

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They need a better name.

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Do they call it gotcha day for dogs?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Oh, I've never heard that before.

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Pedophiles have the same thing.

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Oh, no.

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Oh, no.

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What?

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That reminds me of Jekyll's other fact.

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Oh.

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No, he was just an orphan.

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That's it.

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And he eats human food, sometimes cakes.

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So did he get a

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cake-a-wish

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day? I don't know.

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What do you mean

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you don't know? No, Juggles doesn't

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remember.

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He doesn't remember a lot from when he was an orphan.

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If some of the human food he ate

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cake, that

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could be it.

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He remembers the fact that

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A little girl liked his shoelaces.

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Yeah, that made a profound mark on Juckles.

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Cake-A-Wish did not.

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Doesn't remember his Cake-A-Wish day.

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No, no, or his fake birthday.

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No.

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Birthday.

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Or cake-a-wish day.

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I bet it's April 14th for tax reasons.

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I was thinking April too.

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Although I was thinking April 15th.

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Probably also because of taxes.

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For tax reasons.

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I will neither confirm nor deny.

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That you've ever paid taxes?

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Of when the actual day was.

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It was a surprise every year.

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Oh, man.

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Could you imagine every year it's a different day?

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Yeah, they never know when it's going to be.

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It's like, all right.

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Every January 1st, they pull out a date.

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The orphans are just in the yard.

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All of a sudden, squish, bust.

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You'll kick the door open and go,

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take a wish day!

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And walk out with a cake for all the orphans.

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Just Kool-Aid man into the room.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, it makes it special.

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Then they don't get let down again.

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And then he gets to build them a new door.

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Well, I never worried about...

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Squish never worried about that.

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No, only other orphans had to worry about that.

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Tinkering new doors.

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That was the orphan's problem, not Squish's.

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Was it celebrating all the birthdays on one day?

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Didn't they do that in the office?

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And the whole point of the episode was how terrible of an idea that was.

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This was before the office.

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No.

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That's true.

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I forgot.

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in a different universe.

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When Squish was a young lad.

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Well, we don't know when that was

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because who knows how old Squish is.

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Let's hope the orphanarium

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does not find out about your recent school

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shooting.

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That was college.

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No orphanages

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pay for college.

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College cakes.

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You get cut off. 18. No more cake-a-wish.

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No, it's not even 18, it's 17.

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17's your last cake-a-wish.

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On the 18th cake-a-wish, you're out.

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You gotta break your own door.

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Yeah, it's a good separation.

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All right, Patches, save us.

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Save us?

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Hey, Ar!

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I mean, Patches the Pirate.

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I am the man with no plan,

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whose memory is thin,

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with a bottle in my hand and a beard on my chin.

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I sail the seas and lead mutinies in the hopes that one day I'll become captain.

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Also, I'm into books, so you are.

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You are.

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Me, fun fact today, was I used to follow me folks around.

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You know, when they'd just leave the house, they'd be like,

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Hey, little patches, there's hot dogs in the fridge.

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And they'd leave.

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Go to the bar.

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Well, I got tired of it, you know, precocious seven or eight-year-old, nine-year-old.

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I don't really know how old I am.

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Tune in next week.

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That's how I found out my ma was in a quilting club that, you know, did ritualistic sacrifices.

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Oh, that's right.

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You mentioned that last week.

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That's how you got your frock, your patch's frock.

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Yep, yep, yep.

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Well, that's how I got my name.

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I no longer wear the Patches frock.

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The Patches frock has been – I grew out of it.

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I was a young lad at the time.

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I was like –

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Eight or nine.

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I was like your size at the time.

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Hey, we're not a character.

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I know we talked about you getting your frocks from your mother

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and her quilting club.

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Yeah.

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I do not remember the sacrifices.

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That seems new.

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Oh, yeah.

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No, no.

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If you listen to the podcast this week, you know.

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Oops.

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This week or last week?

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Last week, they are.

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Listen, it's a pretty common quilting thing to do.

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You go, you talk about your favorite squares, your favorite fabrics,

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ritualistic sacrifice of goats and sheep.

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Oh, that's not so bad.

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Gossip.

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Oh, yeah.

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I was thinking of human sacrifice.

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Right.

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Or who knows?

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I only stuck in one meeting on that one.

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But that's not really my me fun fact for this week.

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And I've got to be honest, this one's not so much fun, lads.

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It's not so much fun.

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Well, we are.

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There's more.

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No, there's always more with patches.

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Always more patches to be had.

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So, me fun fact for this week is I followed me father one day.

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And after he left me father, my mother left me when we were with me.

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Me mother was lost at sea when me was we.

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And father raised me.

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And he was, you know, like I said, you know, all right, son, go into the shop.

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I'll see you later.

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And then he'd lock the door and just, you know, open a window for me, you know, make sure that, you know, I could at least breathe.

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So one day I snuck out and I followed him.

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And I followed him to the port.

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And from afar, I saw him murdered.

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I saw Captain Adric Fitzclyde throw my father's body into the drink.

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This seems like a huge reveal for a fun fact.

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Well, that's why I'm so much in character.

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You're telling me that the red captain murdered your father

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and you decided to squeeze that into 30 seconds before the podcast started?

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Well, you know, you said you wanted fun facts.

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I was running low.

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This is idea of fun?

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Oh, you did.

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Sorry, you did warn us.

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You said this one wasn't so fun.

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Well, you know, it's a big event.

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You know, we got a garden party tonight.

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I figure let's start off with a bag coming hot, as they say.

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So, but none of you know that.

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yeah

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I forgot about the garden party

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I should have told you guys

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Squish's favorite flower or something

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well anyway

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yeah your favorite flower

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your cakes

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yeah no my dad was murdered by a character

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in this story

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yeah

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I saw him throw the body

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into the drink I saw him

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I feel like maybe you should have told us this

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to get us back on your side when

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I don't know

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I was sympathetic to the Red Captain.

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Wait a second, now I'm in character.

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Yeah, but yeah, this is not an incantive thing.

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We still don't know this as Squisher or Junkles, right?

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I'm going to have a hard time unknowing this.

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All right, right, right, right.

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Well, maybe I'll bring it up, and maybe by then I'll come up with a reason for why I hadn't told you guys this.

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Is it because you're a habitual liar or because you're also a habitual liar?

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No, it's because in real life I'm making this up as I go.

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Well, we're all making this up as we go.

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Oh, yeah.

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Well, don't get mad at me when I come up with a good idea.

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All right.

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Well.

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I'm not mad at you.

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I'm sorry.

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I really hate this man, and I've had to delve deep and hard on why I hate this man, and that's the only reason I could come up with.

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Well, I know.

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I just feel like now I feel like an asshole.

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I saw him throw me papa in the drink.

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Me papa.

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Sure, he beat me with a shoe when I was crying for food, but he was me papa.

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Sure, he shaved me with a lawnmower once, but he was me papa.

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So many facts.

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So many facts are coming out.

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It's like a therapy session for patches.

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These are fun facts.

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How I got my first haircut.

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Lawnmower and shoe.

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Little patchy, look at your head into the blade.

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All right.

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I'm Bridget

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I play everybody else

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I don't know how I'm supposed to follow that

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I'm just going to say

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that

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Hortense

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who you guys don't remember

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is the tailor's wife

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she's really

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happy about being able to attend this

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garden party it's really been the highlight

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of her year

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and she needed it

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Like they've been having a rough patch and this is exactly the thing they need to get back into it.

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They need to rebuild their relationship.

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I feel like we might run into them later.

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Just completely madly in love.

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Hey, if the fake ticket fooled them, it may fool the guards.

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I mean, you...

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Let's hope it does.

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You rolled a critical success.

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You got like a six.

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It does.

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Three sixes.

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Yeah.

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No, I said it.

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It was really fucking good.

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We saved a marriage.

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Maybe you just made all the invitations.

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We saved you a marriage.

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All right.

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Hortense.

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I hope I wrote that down.

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Well, you have another opportunity too right now.

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It's too late now.

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Nope.

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I only wrote down Taylor the Taylor.

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That one was easy to remember.

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Hortense was more difficult.

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Oh, it was 7-27-2027.

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What?

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Huh?

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The date on it is 2027.

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The year on it says 2027.

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Oh.

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That's all.

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That's my bad.

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You know how many times I write the date for work?

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No.

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No, I don't.

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All the time.

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They sell stands for that.

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And you still got it wrong.

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Maketh the man.

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Costume shop shenanigans.

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The junk fort boys took some time to recoup and think about their plan for the garden party and catch up with the rest of the crew.

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Tawney was still waiting for his acceptance letter.

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The newest intern, Rodney, revealed that he had a twin brother named Toddney.

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Patches still vehemently hates Captain Fitzpatrick, which I guess we know why now.

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Some of us.

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In the morning, the crew first went to a fine costume shop to pick up some new clothes for the party.

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after a long convoluted plot of following people,

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leaving the shop, knocking them out,

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stealing their costumes,

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then returning back to the shop to steal their nice clothes,

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they decided to abandon the whole thing and go somewhere else.

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They met Taylor, a tailor who could provide some clothes.

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After being nagged about his marriage,

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he agreed to make suits in return for an invite to the party.

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Chuckles, in some of his finest tinkering yet,

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forged a nearly identical copy of the invitation

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and gave it to Taylor.

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In return, he promised to make their suits.

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Chuckles bought a fine suit of red velvet with a tasteful capelet.

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Squish, who is colorblind, chose a magenta brocade for his suit.

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And Patches ordered a black pirate-themed outfit with a cape, frock, and epaulets all around.

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Now it's the evening of the garden party and the crew is dolled up, ready to go.

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What will they find in Lockport's high society?

00:15:33

Will they get the answers they seek about mealets, those origins, or will they cause chaos?

00:15:37

Can Chuffle handle two dates, or will Squish's crush turn the love triangle into a love four angle?

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I was really loving this until you got to the end.

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It reminded me I have two dates.

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And by the juckers.

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Also, your red skin and magenta suit, Squish, is clashing.

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Thankfully, you don't know about it because you don't make a reflection, nor can you see colors.

00:16:08

I make a reflection?

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You don't make an impression, he meant.

00:16:12

Yeah, I don't make an impression.

00:16:13

He's not a vampire.

00:16:14

Wait a second.

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I love how you guys look nicer, and I just look like I'm way more pirate.

00:16:25

Yeah, looks like.

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Like I just put two broom tassels on my shoulders, and this went with it.

00:16:32

Those are epaulets.

00:16:34

Epaulets.

00:16:36

Is that what an epaulet is?

00:16:38

Yeah.

00:16:39

Oh.

00:16:40

I only know it because we read a book and they kept talking about how they had epaulets on their stuff all the time.

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And they would put them on.

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And I finally had to look up what it meant.

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And I was like, these dumb things.

00:16:50

What a great word.

00:16:51

I just sent you a picture in the group chat of what I thought my character looked like.

00:16:54

And now I got to go back and ask Chachi to add epaulets.

00:16:59

It's going to make me shaky.

00:17:01

I mean, this is not dissimilar.

00:17:03

I get it.

00:17:05

It took me a second.

00:17:10

Okay.

00:17:12

So you are in the captain's quarters.

00:17:16

Now your quarters.

00:17:17

Getting ready.

00:17:19

You are, you know, you have these new duds that you picked up earlier in the day from Mr. Taylor.

00:17:26

And you have your adjusting your ties and your capelettes.

00:17:31

And, you know, you guys look pretty good.

00:17:33

These clothes were very nicely made.

00:17:37

A little garish, some might say, but still very fine looking.

00:17:41

Crude.

00:17:45

I mean, it is a magenta brocade.

00:17:47

That one is.

00:17:48

But some of us are in velour.

00:17:52

That's true.

00:17:54

And capes.

00:17:54

And Captain Fitzclied kind of floats in from the door,

00:17:58

from, you know, the other side of the door.

00:18:01

Floats in and goes, oh, me boy, look at you.

00:18:03

Oh, you're just fine and dandy.

00:18:06

Why, thank you.

00:18:07

We are so glad you are.

00:18:09

We're asking you for your input, but okay.

00:18:13

Well, you look good is my point.

00:18:15

You all look very nice, very clean, very fine.

00:18:19

Is this appropriate for a garden party?

00:18:21

I don't really know anything about garden parties.

00:18:23

I presume you do.

00:18:26

well no but i've done some research and what i found out is if i it's at night and it takes place

00:18:34

in a in a fancy garden lady's house so i mean is it a vegetable garden i don't know i've never been

00:18:40

to this house it could be a vegetable garden if it's a vegetable garden i got it but is it an

00:18:45

onion garden i think if it's a regular garden you got it it's an evening affair man it's an evening

00:18:51

affair. Now, normally this would be

00:18:53

black or white tie, but I can see that

00:18:55

you guys have all your fancy suits

00:18:57

on. Let me come here and

00:18:59

adjust this here. He kind of

00:19:01

starts floating around you, chuckles, adjusting

00:19:03

things, you know. Fixing my hair.

00:19:05

Here and there. Licking his palm

00:19:07

and fixing my hair. Although I am wearing a

00:19:09

six-corner hat.

00:19:11

That's true. A fine hat.

00:19:13

Thank you.

00:19:15

He's only

00:19:15

saying that because it's his hat. He doesn't know

00:19:17

that. Oh, yeah.

00:19:19

forgot. No, we did discuss it last time

00:19:21

that it was my hat and I think it looks fine

00:19:23

good on you. Oh, thank you.

00:19:24

You're very generous.

00:19:26

Well, since you're dead, it's technically our thing, so you're very

00:19:29

generous with our things. That's true.

00:19:31

You did will us all your stuff

00:19:33

by having been killed by us.

00:19:37

You did steal all my belongings,

00:19:39

yes, but in death, I've

00:19:41

learned that earthly possessions

00:19:43

really don't mean anything anymore.

00:19:46

Oh, good. I can have

00:19:47

everything I want. Guys, let's go

00:19:49

the boat.

00:19:51

No, he willed you guys things.

00:19:54

Oh, that's right.

00:19:55

He gave me a gift.

00:19:57

I did.

00:19:59

He never willed me anything.

00:20:01

That's right. Here we go.

00:20:03

I take something.

00:20:04

I take a nice picture off the wall and give it to Squish.

00:20:07

There you go.

00:20:08

It's a nice picture of a boat.

00:20:12

It's not even our boat.

00:20:14

It's a picture of the boat,

00:20:15

of the Kahuna wave.

00:20:18

It is our boat.

00:20:19

The cuddly crab.

00:20:22

Yeah, the cuddly crab, sorry.

00:20:23

The cuddly crab.

00:20:26

Yeah, it says kahuna wave on the side,

00:20:27

but somebody has taken some marker

00:20:29

and crossed it out and wrote

00:20:31

cuddly crab on the side.

00:20:32

Well, you know it wasn't me.

00:20:36

No.

00:20:36

How misspelled is it?

00:20:40

For cuddly and crab?

00:20:44

Is it in crayon?

00:20:45

Yes, because this is the cuddly crab crew.

00:20:48

as it were.

00:20:54

Alright.

00:20:54

I think that's helpful.

00:20:58

I didn't even know that was a thing you could research.

00:20:59

So thank you for telling us that

00:21:01

because we didn't really even know anything.

00:21:03

We didn't even know it was a night affair

00:21:05

or that it was in a garden.

00:21:07

I did deduce from the time

00:21:10

that it is at

00:21:11

that it was at night.

00:21:13

Yeah, I think it was all on the invitation.

00:21:16

Yeah, I didn't read that.

00:21:21

I'm glad you

00:21:23

Wait, were you able

00:21:24

Imitation that you forged

00:21:27

Yeah, you forged it

00:21:28

You should have known

00:21:30

Well, I did copy it

00:21:33

I could have read it if I wanted to

00:21:34

I just didn't want to

00:21:36

You didn't want

00:21:40

Are you trying to say you

00:21:43

Tried and weren't able to?

00:21:46

No

00:21:48

No further questions.

00:21:49

Okay.

00:21:51

Okay, I pat him on his head.

00:21:53

Thank you.

00:21:53

That's condescending of you.

00:21:55

I didn't tussle.

00:21:56

I didn't tussle.

00:21:57

I patted.

00:21:59

Okay, so what is the plan?

00:22:01

Now, I do have a complimentary or a full compliment of dates.

00:22:09

Do I have to meet up with them?

00:22:11

I think there were some instructions on that bottle, message in a bottle I got.

00:22:17

You should meet up with Lady High Hill because you're her plus one.

00:22:22

Okay.

00:22:23

And then me and or Patches are each other's plus one.

00:22:29

Nice.

00:22:30

Good for you.

00:22:32

So that'll get us in.

00:22:35

So you have to at least meet up with Lady High Hill.

00:22:38

That's right.

00:22:39

And shoot.

00:22:42

Madeline?

00:22:42

No.

00:22:43

Evelyn.

00:22:43

Evelyn.

00:22:44

She's going to be in there.

00:22:46

Okay.

00:22:47

We talked about this literally earlier today.

00:22:51

I think she had her own invitation.

00:22:57

Yes, with an understanding.

00:23:01

Yes.

00:23:03

Evelyn is planning on meeting up with you guys at the party.

00:23:06

But she does have her own invitation to get in.

00:23:10

Great.

00:23:10

Okay.

00:23:11

All right.

00:23:12

Well, then that's all we get in.

00:23:15

All right.

00:23:16

All right.

00:23:17

Let's, uh, let's, let's hail a carriage.

00:23:22

As you guys leave the ship, um, or open the door of the captain's quarters and you walk on deck, um, the crew is there kind of waiting for you.

00:23:30

It's kind of like, you know, when you guys went to prom and your parents wanted to take pictures of you guys.

00:23:34

So, you know, there's Tawny and Dee Dee and Rodney and all the other ghostly crew that you have are kind of there, you know, like, well, you know, cooing, you know, mental images.

00:23:48

And Dee Dee comes up to you, squish, and she kind of like comes on her hand on your hand.

00:23:54

You know, she's giving you a little good luck.

00:23:56

I kissed her on her forehead.

00:23:58

Aw.

00:23:59

That was creepy.

00:24:03

It's not creepy.

00:24:04

So, you guys want us just to wait here or wait for you to come home tonight?

00:24:13

Listen for our whistle.

00:24:14

I thought you were attached to the ship.

00:24:16

Can you leave?

00:24:19

I'm Tawny.

00:24:20

I'm not a ghost.

00:24:21

Tawny, we need you on lookout.

00:24:23

I know who you are.

00:24:26

But you can leave the boat.

00:24:30

Yes, freely.

00:24:30

I have a corporeal body that is not tethered to this boat.

00:24:34

I take Tawny under my cape.

00:24:36

Under my cape.

00:24:37

I go, Tawny, Tawny.

00:24:38

Isn't he taller than you?

00:24:40

Well, I take his arm under my cape.

00:24:43

Tawny, I go holding his arm.

00:24:44

Tawny, Tawny.

00:24:47

Lad, need you on lookout.

00:24:50

If we come out muddy, well, we need you to watch out for us.

00:24:54

We're going to come out.

00:24:54

If we come out at the garden party, we might need your assistance.

00:24:59

you know, but you should

00:25:02

under no circumstances

00:25:03

either carrying things

00:25:05

or healing things or, you know

00:25:07

helping us, it's really standard

00:25:09

internship, but we really need to look out

00:25:12

the signal might be

00:25:14

if you see a large flame

00:25:16

we're not doing that again

00:25:18

hey, guys

00:25:19

do you know if gardens are flammable?

00:25:22

is it rain recently?

00:25:23

very, very flammable

00:25:25

famously

00:25:27

but I do think

00:25:30

We should have Hattman carry our carriage.

00:25:33

Carry it?

00:25:34

Do you think he can handle it?

00:25:35

Into the garden?

00:25:36

Into the entrance of the party.

00:25:39

Isn't he made of fire?

00:25:39

What if he's like one of our footmen, like an usher?

00:25:45

I don't know how they would carry our carriage.

00:25:49

Who needs to carry a carriage?

00:25:50

Are we just going with our horses?

00:25:53

I mean, I don't want a log.

00:25:56

Yeah.

00:25:58

Okay.

00:25:58

Do you have a carriage stored somewhere?

00:26:00

No, I'll hail it.

00:26:01

Does it have horses?

00:26:02

I'm just going to, you know, like you're getting a cab.

00:26:06

Okay.

00:26:07

Carriage.

00:26:08

Carriage.

00:26:09

I thought it would be cool to be carried in by a fucking flame guy.

00:26:14

Well, I'm also flammable, and so is this velvet that I'm ensconced in.

00:26:19

Okay, so the sequence of events I'm hearing, and this is out of character,

00:26:22

the sequence of events I'm hearing is that you want to hail a cab,

00:26:25

tell a cabbie, we're going to dump your horses

00:26:27

so that my hot, flaming demon can

00:26:29

carry your carriage to the front door of this

00:26:31

garden party. Is that what you're saying?

00:26:33

Yes. He's not going to want to

00:26:35

do that. That's his horse. That's his

00:26:37

wife. Probably.

00:26:39

Probably.

00:26:40

I mean,

00:26:43

I think maybe we should

00:26:45

roll on it before we

00:26:47

dismiss it.

00:26:49

What?

00:26:53

You're not wrong.

00:26:55

carriages are made

00:26:56

of wood

00:26:59

can Homet even fly

00:27:01

or does he just want to carry it over

00:27:04

it's not a flaming carriage

00:27:07

it's not a flying carriage

00:27:08

no I thought it was like a rickshaw

00:27:10

you want him just to

00:27:14

yeah

00:27:15

have a flame

00:27:16

have

00:27:18

carry a rickshaw

00:27:19

so let's hail a rickshaw

00:27:20

and tell the rickshaw driver

00:27:23

hey take a seat

00:27:24

Yeah, hey, you can take a break.

00:27:26

You have the night off.

00:27:27

I got a flaming guy that's going to take your spot.

00:27:30

Yeah, because it'll look cool.

00:27:32

But whatever.

00:27:34

We don't have to look impressive when we pull up.

00:27:37

It's fine.

00:27:38

You already look impressive as hell.

00:27:41

Yeah, I'm in style.

00:27:41

I have a cape.

00:27:43

I have a cape with epilepsy.

00:27:46

And imagine doubling that.

00:27:51

Doubling it?

00:27:52

Okay.

00:27:53

Double with fire?

00:27:54

I mean, listen, you don't have to

00:27:56

convince me too hard to start things on fire.

00:27:58

I mean...

00:28:02

But you guys don't want to do this?

00:28:03

You want to roll up looking like

00:28:06

fucking lame-os, that's fine.

00:28:08

What if we just have hot men

00:28:10

show up and shoot fireworks or something?

00:28:14

That's

00:28:16

just as awesome.

00:28:18

Alright.

00:28:20

Announce our

00:28:21

arrival.

00:28:22

With fire.

00:28:24

yeah with fireworks

00:28:26

for the record announce our arrival

00:28:29

with

00:28:30

do we have the real ticket or do we have the

00:28:32

forged ticket I don't remember

00:28:33

we have the real one

00:28:35

we have no risk

00:28:38

so we can be as loud as we want to

00:28:41

or as fired up

00:28:42

as we want to

00:28:44

exactly

00:28:46

yeah we can

00:28:47

we don't have to do any of this

00:28:49

I just thought it would be kind of cool

00:28:51

you spent a lot of time convincing us

00:28:53

You do spend a lot of time shouting over us.

00:28:57

Tell him, sweetie, to light things on fire on the way to the garden party to make an entrance.

00:29:01

And kill a man's wife.

00:29:03

Are you the guy that walks into a party and lights the drapes on fire?

00:29:09

Not the drapes, no.

00:29:11

I'm here!

00:29:13

Yeah, are you the sort of person that kicks in the door of an orphan to sell cupcakes?

00:29:18

It was a regular cake, damn it.

00:29:22

And it's only once a year.

00:29:24

And it was further cake day.

00:29:30

All right.

00:29:32

You guys don't want to be cool?

00:29:33

That's fine.

00:29:34

I get it.

00:29:34

I get it.

00:29:35

Hey, hey, hey.

00:29:35

China's cool.

00:29:38

China's cool.

00:29:38

We'll be later.

00:29:40

You just want to roll up like regular Joe Schmoe?

00:29:43

It's cool.

00:29:43

That's fine, too.

00:29:44

Hey, hey.

00:29:44

Don't ever call me a Joe.

00:29:48

Schmoe's fine, though.

00:29:49

You want to roll up looking like Schmoes?

00:29:51

Are you hailing a cab or a carriage?

00:29:55

A carriage or a rickshaw.

00:29:56

Okay.

00:29:57

You hail a rickshaw and this poor guy comes up

00:30:01

and he looks at the three and he goes,

00:30:04

all three?

00:30:06

At once.

00:30:07

Yes.

00:30:07

I could have swore there were four of us.

00:30:11

Oh, three.

00:30:12

Connie's taking up the rear.

00:30:13

Oh, we're meeting Lady Highhill at the joint,

00:30:17

but outside.

00:30:18

Yeah.

00:30:20

Yeah.

00:30:21

Jump in the rickshaw and you tell him the location of the party.

00:30:25

You give him the address and he goes,

00:30:29

how many hills I'm going to have to?

00:30:32

Hills?

00:30:32

And he starts running.

00:30:35

Because, yes, you are in the nicer part of town.

00:30:40

You're docked at the docks, which is a little bit lower.

00:30:43

So he takes his way up through the streets.

00:30:47

You start passing these basically mansions, these very fine houses, completely gated off.

00:30:55

But there's one house in the distance that is very brightly lit.

00:31:00

This is the manor bouquet.

00:31:02

This is the house where the party is.

00:31:05

Go ahead and just activate that.

00:31:08

And there's a long line of carriages and people walking towards this house, funneling in through a central gate.

00:31:17

And how many rickshaws?

00:31:21

I'm going to say mostly carriages.

00:31:23

Most of these people invited have their own carriages and horses.

00:31:27

You guys are the only rickshaw.

00:31:29

But there are also people just walking.

00:31:31

There are people just with their feet walking through the door.

00:31:35

Those peasants?

00:31:37

And you stop kind of in line because you have to, you know,

00:31:42

there's a large line of people walking in.

00:31:44

And the rickshaw eventually kind of gives you the guys to shake.

00:31:47

Like, okay, get off, get off.

00:31:48

Like, you're done.

00:31:49

I'm not going to stand in line for you.

00:31:52

Oh, okay, thanks.

00:31:54

Should we tip him?

00:31:56

No.

00:31:57

Okay.

00:31:58

I mean, I do feel like he went up a lot of hills.

00:32:01

Yeah, he went up a couple hills.

00:32:04

But he didn't take us.

00:32:05

That was more than we did.

00:32:06

To the gate.

00:32:09

Yeah, you're right.

00:32:10

Let's stiff him.

00:32:13

Exactly.

00:32:13

Because he wasn't cool.

00:32:14

I don't know.

00:32:15

We're going to pay him.

00:32:17

We're not going to tip him.

00:32:19

I'm just going to dine and dash.

00:32:23

Ride and dash.

00:32:27

So, yes, you guys are walking.

00:32:29

You're in line and you're walking to the gates of this manor.

00:32:33

There's a lot of people here.

00:32:35

Most of them are very finely dressed.

00:32:38

They are wearing suits.

00:32:40

They are wearing very nice dresses.

00:32:43

Everyone is very well dressed.

00:32:46

This is kind of the upper crust of society.

00:32:49

Although you kind of vaguely see somewhere in the distance,

00:32:53

someone kind of wearing, someone bald kind of wearing a brown suit

00:32:58

and a woman next to him.

00:33:00

This, if you vaguely remember, is Mr. Taylor and his wife, Hortense.

00:33:05

They are also at the party.

00:33:08

Do they recognize this?

00:33:08

There's no one else.

00:33:10

Don't make eye contact.

00:33:11

Don't make eye contact.

00:33:13

I mean, he did do us a solid.

00:33:14

We're walking into the gate.

00:33:16

Oh, we're watching them from afar to see if they can get in.

00:33:18

Yes.

00:33:19

Oh, boy.

00:33:20

This ought to be good.

00:33:21

Should we take bets?

00:33:25

Yeah, we should.

00:33:26

All right.

00:33:26

I bet they're going to get in because I'm confident in my tinkering skills.

00:33:31

I was also going to bet that they were going to get in.

00:33:34

All right.

00:33:34

This isn't much of a bet then.

00:33:35

So I guess we're agreed.

00:33:37

No.

00:33:38

But if they get in, doesn't that mean that our forge will be caught?

00:33:43

No.

00:33:43

No.

00:33:43

Don't get in.

00:33:46

Yeah, we don't have a forgery.

00:33:47

They have a forgery.

00:33:48

I'm just curious whether or not my tinkering skills are good.

00:33:53

But what I'm saying is that if you give them the forgery of the ticket we have,

00:33:58

doesn't that mean that's one ticket done?

00:33:59

Oh, we just have to not be last.

00:34:03

So we have to get in before them?

00:34:06

I don't know if the tickets are numbered.

00:34:09

Yes, let's push them out of the way then, just to be sure.

00:34:12

I mean, that's just how tickets work.

00:34:17

Isn't that how tickets work normally?

00:34:19

I guess it depends on the ticket.

00:34:20

I was imagining more like an old school.

00:34:25

When you used to have paper tickets,

00:34:26

they didn't check to make sure they didn't let in on paper.

00:34:31

They let two people in for the same seat.

00:34:34

They just ripped the ticket and let you in.

00:34:35

I was thinking it was just, yeah, there's no seats.

00:34:40

So if it looks good, then they're in.

00:34:42

You're telling me we came to a garden party with no fucking seats.

00:34:47

To watch what, Bush?

00:34:50

I assume there's a couple of benches.

00:34:58

I gotta stand for this whole goddamn thing.

00:35:02

The line inches further and further forward.

00:35:08

Oh, God, this fucking line.

00:35:09

I hate waiting in lines.

00:35:11

It'll be fine.

00:35:12

We're almost in.

00:35:14

This ride better than good.

00:35:15

Look normal.

00:35:16

You see Mr. Taylor and his wife Hortense go in past the gates.

00:35:23

Nice.

00:35:24

They kind of disappear into the flow of people.

00:35:27

The line progresses, and now it's your turn at the gates.

00:35:31

Lady High Hill.

00:35:31

I got to find Lady High Hill.

00:35:34

She's probably already in there, bud.

00:35:36

Uh-oh.

00:35:37

Oh, because he's in plus one.

00:35:38

Yeah, I have her ticket.

00:35:39

He's her plus one.

00:35:42

As you approach the gate,

00:35:44

you see standing there for you

00:35:47

Lady High Hill.

00:35:48

This is the first time you have seen her

00:35:50

She was waiting in coat check.

00:35:55

I run up and I

00:35:57

bow down and kiss her hand.

00:35:59

That's weird.

00:36:00

Oh!

00:36:01

She know you?

00:36:04

Squish? Squash?

00:36:05

Squish? Squash it was.

00:36:07

No, it is squash.

00:36:09

It's squash!

00:36:10

How long has it been squash?

00:36:13

I'm Tarquash

00:36:14

I'm Tarquash

00:36:15

Sunder

00:36:16

but you

00:36:18

you

00:36:18

you

00:36:18

you can call me

00:36:19

Squash

00:36:20

that's fine

00:36:21

that's

00:36:22

that's cool

00:36:23

well

00:36:25

wonderful to see you

00:36:26

Squash

00:36:27

and she then

00:36:27

she envelops

00:36:28

uh

00:36:29

chuckles in a huge

00:36:30

hey baby

00:36:30

she goes

00:36:31

oh

00:36:32

my dearest

00:36:32

Charles Xander

00:36:33

your letters have been

00:36:34

so so spared

00:36:36

in between

00:36:36

I

00:36:37

I didn't think

00:36:37

you would have

00:36:38

gotten inside

00:36:38

I've been here

00:36:39

waiting for

00:36:40

almost an hour

00:36:41

now

00:36:41

you wouldn't show up. Yeah, I missed

00:36:44

you too. I don't know why you were

00:36:45

no, no, of course I was coming.

00:36:47

I'm really excited to see you

00:36:49

again. I

00:36:52

also enjoyed

00:36:53

your writing.

00:37:03

It's gotta look over. Lady Hyo.

00:37:06

It's not.

00:37:10

Well, I

00:37:11

and she produces a ticket from her purse that she's holding,

00:37:17

and she presents it to the doorman who looks it over.

00:37:19

Oh, we're arm and arm, too, by the way.

00:37:22

Yeah, of course.

00:37:23

Yeah, she's all over you.

00:37:26

Oh, boy.

00:37:27

Doorman rips the ticket.

00:37:29

She stooped down a little bit, though.

00:37:31

Yeah, I'm sure.

00:37:32

What?

00:37:33

She has to stoop down a little bit.

00:37:36

Well, you know, his arm's a little bit more like that,

00:37:38

but, you know, she is very tall.

00:37:40

Yes.

00:37:40

But yes, you two are allowed into the front entrance, and then it's Patches and Squish.

00:37:48

I mean, Squish.

00:37:49

Patches and Squish.

00:37:51

You come up next.

00:37:52

Now, who has the ticket?

00:37:53

Who talks to the doorman?

00:37:54

She stands out of hand.

00:37:55

Ticket, please.

00:37:56

I've got it.

00:37:58

Can I hold your arm?

00:38:00

We're like on a date.

00:38:02

Do we have to roll to find out how progressive our society is?

00:38:06

We lock arms.

00:38:08

Yeah, we lock arms as we're going in.

00:38:11

Yeah.

00:38:12

Yeah.

00:38:13

All right.

00:38:15

And then I bring out the ticket

00:38:18

or the invitation

00:38:19

and I pass it forward.

00:38:23

He takes a look

00:38:25

at the dice.

00:38:27

I'm sorry, at the ticket.

00:38:29

And he

00:38:31

looks at you.

00:38:32

That's a six.

00:38:34

And looks at you.

00:38:37

And then he rips his ticket

00:38:37

and then, you know, ignores you

00:38:39

and goes on to the next one and lets you guys

00:38:41

into the garden party.

00:38:44

So we just walk in.

00:38:45

Oh my God.

00:38:48

It felt a lot closer than it

00:38:50

should have been. For a second though, I couldn't

00:38:52

remember if we had actually had the

00:38:54

fake one or not.

00:38:56

Right? I feel like

00:38:58

the fake one had a lot more

00:38:59

tassels and stuff.

00:39:01

Well, you know, our Juckles

00:39:03

is a pretty good cartographer.

00:39:05

He's a good tinkerer.

00:39:09

He does like to tinkle.

00:39:13

Well, you're not wrong.

00:39:17

All right.

00:39:19

Yeah, so you guys enter the party.

00:39:20

And, yeah, so what you see ahead of you is this beautiful mansion.

00:39:24

The lights are all lit up on the inside.

00:39:28

You can see all those glowing lights.

00:39:29

But, yes, there are flowers everywhere.

00:39:31

There are bushes.

00:39:32

There are shrubs in the front filled with these overwhelming blooms,

00:39:36

just large, large flowers.

00:39:39

The trees are flowering.

00:39:42

It's just a plethora of just intense floral smells.

00:39:49

A lot of the people are wearing like flower-themed sort of outfits,

00:39:54

meaning that they have flowers kind of pinned to them

00:39:56

or are holding bouquets or things like that.

00:40:01

Sorry, Patches, I didn't get you a bouquet.

00:40:04

What about boutonniere?

00:40:08

no

00:40:10

I mean I'm sure we'll find a flower somewhere

00:40:14

there's a lot of flowering around

00:40:15

I have one for you and Lady Highhill pulls from her purse

00:40:18

she's wearing a corsage so she's got one of those wrist ones

00:40:20

and she pulls out a little blue

00:40:22

I'm just looking up at her

00:40:25

onto

00:40:27

to chuckles and she pins it

00:40:28

very carefully onto your cave flat

00:40:30

and almost as if

00:40:32

this had been planned in advance

00:40:34

it is the perfect shade of red

00:40:36

to match your velour

00:40:38

how did you know I was going to get red?

00:40:41

oh I

00:40:42

a woman knows

00:40:43

oh dear

00:40:45

she's also in red

00:40:47

she's wearing a

00:40:49

toned

00:40:52

does it match my skin color?

00:40:56

I think it's a touch darker

00:40:57

wait does it match her skin color?

00:41:00

she's pink

00:41:02

oh so she's the opposite

00:41:05

of Juggles right now.

00:41:06

I mean Squish, right?

00:41:08

Yeah.

00:41:08

Squish is wearing pink.

00:41:10

Red wearing pink.

00:41:12

That's weird.

00:41:14

Yeah, you're red wearing pink

00:41:15

and she's pink wearing red.

00:41:18

So you guys have nothing in common.

00:41:21

So you guys are, you're in.

00:41:23

You're in the garden party.

00:41:26

Around, there's people kind of all over the place.

00:41:28

There are people going into the building.

00:41:30

There are people kind of lingering around

00:41:33

the front drive area, the front lawn.

00:41:37

You also can tell there are people in the back of the house as well

00:41:40

where the actual gardens are.

00:41:41

This is a beautiful area,

00:41:43

but you can tell there are much more extensive gardens in the back.

00:41:47

Wow.

00:41:48

Wow.

00:41:49

Wow.

00:41:50

So, Lady High Hill, can I call you Lady?

00:41:56

Of course.

00:41:57

You could also just...

00:41:58

Okay.

00:42:00

All right, Lady.

00:42:01

Yeah.

00:42:03

Come here, lady.

00:42:06

I actually don't know Lady High Hill's first name.

00:42:08

I feel like I shouldn't ask out of embarrassment.

00:42:12

Her last name was Hill.

00:42:14

No, her last name is High Hill.

00:42:18

High was her first name.

00:42:20

Turns out.

00:42:22

Or a descriptor.

00:42:24

High.

00:42:27

I mean, you're a high society.

00:42:31

woman.

00:42:34

I try to be, yes.

00:42:35

Yeah.

00:42:36

What?

00:42:36

Have you been to a garden party before?

00:42:39

Oh, we have tons of these in T-Tro's

00:42:41

in the summertime.

00:42:42

Oh, they're just beautiful.

00:42:43

No shit.

00:42:44

Wonderful way to spend the evening.

00:42:46

What are we supposed to do here?

00:42:47

Just look at flowers?

00:42:48

Are we supposed to eat them?

00:42:51

Well, no.

00:42:52

Usually you don't eat them.

00:42:53

But you could.

00:42:55

Normally you make yourself known

00:42:56

to the lady of the house.

00:42:58

You compliment her.

00:42:59

There's usually drinking and dancing, usually dinners provided.

00:43:03

And yes, it is customary that you go for a stroll amongst the gardens,

00:43:07

perhaps a quiet, secluded interlude for two people.

00:43:11

Oh, like a man and a woman.

00:43:15

Oh, I get what you're putting down.

00:43:17

Or two men, she says, pointing to squish and patches.

00:43:20

Whoa!

00:43:22

Yeah, he's not a man.

00:43:24

He's a...

00:43:25

A wave.

00:43:28

I just assumed your friends were arm in arm when they came through.

00:43:31

I thought they were together.

00:43:32

They're quite close.

00:43:33

They sleep together, actually.

00:43:36

No.

00:43:36

No one in the same room.

00:43:38

I know.

00:43:38

I know I'm not there.

00:43:39

So do you.

00:43:41

I'm not there.

00:43:42

I feel like Andy's not a character.

00:43:44

No.

00:43:44

No.

00:43:45

No.

00:43:48

Well, who's the lady of this house?

00:43:49

Out of curiosity, how did you guys, how did you get invited to the garden party?

00:43:55

How did you get an invitation, you two?

00:43:58

legitimately.

00:44:00

Oh, yeah.

00:44:01

We legitimately found one.

00:44:04

Yeah.

00:44:05

You know, we pirates have our ways.

00:44:08

Oh, that's right.

00:44:09

And she taps the size of her nose.

00:44:11

She says, well, the invitation

00:44:13

and the house that we're in is

00:44:15

from the Bouquet family.

00:44:17

So I would assume Madame Bouquet

00:44:19

is the lady of the house.

00:44:21

Which one is that?

00:44:23

I'm like looking around.

00:44:24

I would guess that someone

00:44:26

of high society would know exactly

00:44:28

where the lady of the house is?

00:44:31

I have no idea.

00:44:32

I believe she's gone.

00:44:34

She points

00:44:36

to the second floor where there is

00:44:38

a singular woman in black

00:44:40

standing there. The only one wearing

00:44:42

complete black outfit

00:44:44

is standing there. And this is

00:44:46

in fact Lady Bouquet.

00:44:50

Lady Bouquet.

00:44:52

Lady Bouquet.

00:44:55

Oops, sorry.

00:45:03

Oh, what is going on here?

00:45:06

Oh, that's why.

00:45:08

Hold on.

00:45:10

One second.

00:45:13

I can't wait to fall in love with her.

00:45:16

I'm sure you will.

00:45:23

Sorry.

00:45:28

There she is.

00:45:31

Why did you say Lady Bucket?

00:45:35

Because I know what Bridget's doing.

00:45:37

Shut up.

00:45:41

Lady Bouquet, yes.

00:45:43

I threw a picture in the chat because I accidentally made her the wrong type of character.

00:45:46

But yeah, Lady Bouquet, she is a very stern-looking woman.

00:45:51

You can tell from here.

00:45:53

Again, she's the only one in black.

00:45:55

Gothic vibe.

00:45:57

Yeah, yeah.

00:45:58

Completely black.

00:45:59

She has a very stern look on her face.

00:46:01

She's a very tall, kind of wide woman.

00:46:03

She's what?

00:46:03

She's tall?

00:46:04

She has big feet?

00:46:07

Yeah, yeah.

00:46:07

She's got big old stompers.

00:46:10

She's a very sturdy, some might say Ruben-esque woman.

00:46:15

But she's standing there on the pillar looking very unhappy.

00:46:19

But on the pillar, on the balcony, looking a little unhappy.

00:46:24

she doesn't look too happy

00:46:25

stop spoiling my fun

00:46:29

stop

00:46:30

is she talking to us

00:46:33

no no that was me

00:46:34

that was me talking to my husband

00:46:36

stop ruining my fun

00:46:38

stop yucking the yum

00:46:40

stop yucking my yum

00:46:42

yeah so she's standing up there and

00:46:45

Lady High Hill points and she goes

00:46:46

that's Lady Bouquet

00:46:48

she invited me you know of course

00:46:50

from Teacher Rose

00:46:51

it is considered improper

00:46:53

to not invite one

00:46:55

house of nobility from another, but

00:46:57

there's your host.

00:46:59

Wait. You're not supposed to be

00:47:01

here?

00:47:03

No, no, I was invited.

00:47:06

It'd be very rude if she hadn't invited

00:47:07

you. Oh, she invited the

00:47:10

okay.

00:47:12

The fancy families.

00:47:13

Yes, everyone here are

00:47:15

some of the upper crust

00:47:17

of the upper crust. A real

00:47:20

crusty

00:47:21

meal we have here. I see a couple of crusties

00:47:23

over there.

00:47:25

And then I'd like to point in the general direction

00:47:28

of patches

00:47:30

and squish.

00:47:31

What are they doing?

00:47:34

We're also not linked

00:47:35

arm-in-arm anymore.

00:47:38

For a long time.

00:47:39

Devouring cocktail shrimp.

00:47:42

It went for a lot

00:47:43

longer than it should have.

00:47:45

A lot longer than squish wanted.

00:47:50

Yeah.

00:47:50

Yeah, a little bit longer than Squish would have been okay with.

00:47:58

Before we're going to...

00:47:59

So you guys are just standing there kind of listening to them talk?

00:48:02

Yeah, off to the side, you know.

00:48:04

Okay.

00:48:05

I'm going to have everyone roll a survey.

00:48:13

Oh, good.

00:48:14

My survey is zero, so...

00:48:24

I succeeded.

00:48:26

I got a six.

00:48:34

Squish, you are the first to see Evelyn.

00:48:39

You see her out of the corner of your eye.

00:48:41

She is wearing a beautiful, deep, deep indigo gown.

00:48:45

and you can tell it's her from her very messy pile of hair

00:48:49

and her very large glasses that she wears.

00:48:52

And she sees you squish from across the courtyard

00:48:56

and waves and starts quickly walking over to you.

00:49:01

I quickly walk up to her and I hold my arm out in that triangle

00:49:05

so she can put her arm through.

00:49:08

Like a dousy doe.

00:49:09

Oh.

00:49:14

No, I don't know what a do-si-do is, but...

00:49:18

It's where you spin your partner round and round.

00:49:23

None of that has been helpful.

00:49:25

Oh, I don't know.

00:49:26

I just thought you would know what it is.

00:49:27

I don't know.

00:49:29

No.

00:49:30

It's where you like, you know...

00:49:31

I thought my mom was so she can link in and we can walk together.

00:49:36

Oh, oh, I thought I was meeting Chuckles here, but...

00:49:41

Oh, yeah.

00:49:41

Wait a second.

00:49:43

Just wait.

00:49:45

And I start walking her towards

00:49:49

Juckles and Lady High Hill.

00:49:53

Really making this weird.

00:49:55

Juckles, you see Evelyn coming.

00:49:58

Juggle.

00:49:59

Arm in arm.

00:50:01

Evelyn and Squish or Squash.

00:50:04

Coming up.

00:50:05

You saw Squish run out to meet her.

00:50:07

For a second you thought, oh, he's going to try to stop her.

00:50:09

No, that's what I thought.

00:50:10

up here. Instead

00:50:12

he is coming up arm in arm

00:50:14

with no intentions of

00:50:16

slowing down. Oh yeah, I don't know why I would have expected

00:50:18

him to be helpful at all.

00:50:23

Okay.

00:50:25

Alright, now what?

00:50:26

I mean, be helpful in what?

00:50:29

Oh, I don't know.

00:50:30

This is just going to blow up.

00:50:33

Yeah, because you had

00:50:34

zero plan as to

00:50:37

that.

00:50:41

Patches you doing anything

00:50:45

I'm just taking in the scene

00:50:46

kind of you know I've got a bag of popcorn

00:50:49

I'm just watching

00:50:54

so Evelyn

00:50:57

comes up and she stops

00:51:00

short when she sees you

00:51:03

chuckles arm in arm

00:51:05

with Lady Highhill and she goes oh

00:51:07

You're here already.

00:51:09

Yes.

00:51:10

Oh, great.

00:51:11

Nice to see you.

00:51:12

Oh, it's been a while.

00:51:13

You look stunning.

00:51:16

Absolutely stunning.

00:51:23

I step in and I'm like, Lady Hyal.

00:51:26

Is that right?

00:51:27

Oh.

00:51:28

Do you remember me?

00:51:30

I was called Captain Fitzcline.

00:51:32

Yes.

00:51:33

You must remember.

00:51:34

I'm trying to let you run interference.

00:51:36

Yeah, you must remember.

00:51:38

And I'm like trying to like – and I sneak over and chuckles.

00:51:45

Why don't you go talk to your old friend over here, right?

00:51:48

And then I'll tell – Lady Haya, what do you think of these flowers over here?

00:51:52

What a brilliant shade of magenta.

00:51:56

Yes, beautiful.

00:51:57

They are the Chrysanthemum magentanus.

00:52:01

Oh, interesting.

00:52:02

Now, my name is – I think when I met you last, I was Captain Fitzcline.

00:52:07

Now I go by Patches, so just so you know.

00:52:10

Captain Patches or Captain Patchy.

00:52:14

Just an update for you.

00:52:16

Just an update for you.

00:52:17

I may have changed my name in my entire background and identity.

00:52:22

I don't even think we – I'm not sure we've even had a conversation before, but you should know.

00:52:28

The old, the captain,

00:52:29

the captain Fitzcline you might have known is dead.

00:52:33

Literally.

00:52:35

Nice.

00:52:36

I didn't get that joke.

00:52:40

He put in our party on teachers.

00:52:42

Anyway, she starts talking to you

00:52:44

and you've led her away.

00:52:46

Oh, yeah.

00:52:48

Fucking Andy, you burned out of her house.

00:52:50

Yeah, so Evelyn is standing there with you,

00:52:51

Chuckles, and with you, Squibb.

00:52:53

Oh.

00:52:54

Saying, so,

00:52:56

Are you ready to go in and try to scoop some information out?

00:53:03

Well, it looks like you've already found a partner.

00:53:09

Oh, I just met him in the courtyard.

00:53:11

I mean, we all can go.

00:53:12

It's, you know, the more the merrier.

00:53:15

You look awfully comfortable, Squish.

00:53:24

I'm very uncomfortable

00:53:27

squeezing my arm tight

00:53:29

but hopeful.

00:53:33

Well, look, I think that, you know,

00:53:37

Madame Bouquet is the leader

00:53:39

of the Lockport High Society,

00:53:41

Lockport Flower Society.

00:53:43

This is her yearly annual gathering

00:53:45

of the Flower Society

00:53:48

and her general summer soiree.

00:53:50

She doesn't look very happy.

00:53:51

The house is full of people.

00:53:53

No, she's a raging bitch.

00:53:55

She's a real mean lady.

00:53:57

But she has her house open.

00:53:58

There's plenty of things we can do.

00:54:00

We can sneak off maybe,

00:54:01

try to find what Tam Mazaran was doing with those boys

00:54:06

or why she said she wanted you dead.

00:54:11

We have lots of opportunities.

00:54:12

Go back a second.

00:54:15

She wanted us dead?

00:54:19

Tam Mazaran wanted you dead.

00:54:21

He did want us dead.

00:54:22

And...

00:54:24

Yeah.

00:54:25

Okay.

00:54:26

We did break into his lab.

00:54:28

And I think I peed in there.

00:54:30

Yes, in the lab part.

00:54:33

Dude, there was a toilet.

00:54:36

Debatable.

00:54:38

I'm going to break off from whatever's going on with Juggles and his ladies.

00:54:49

And I'm going to go talk to Lady Bouquet.

00:54:56

Okay.

00:54:57

So when you enter the house, Squish, let me just give you a little...

00:55:05

Pull that up.

00:55:09

Make sure you guys can see it.

00:55:12

I can see it.

00:55:13

I can.

00:55:13

You can see it?

00:55:15

Yeah, it's like a giant house plan.

00:55:18

Yes, exactly.

00:55:19

So she's on the second floor balcony.

00:55:22

You enter.

00:55:23

Oh, you guys are in here.

00:55:26

But all my people are not.

00:55:28

You enter into the first floor.

00:55:30

And it's huge.

00:55:31

This is a giant manor house.

00:55:33

And it is just crawling with people.

00:55:35

There are servants running around with trays, passing out hors d'oeuvres.

00:55:40

You can hear music coming from one area of the house.

00:55:43

There is just a flood of party goers back and forth.

00:55:47

You do see a large staircase that leads up right ahead of you.

00:55:50

It's the grand staircase that leads upwards.

00:55:54

There is kind of a man standing there in a very nice jacket and suit.

00:55:59

He is like the butler of the house.

00:56:03

Clearly a servant placed there to kind of keep people from going up.

00:56:06

I'm going to push right past him.

00:56:10

All right.

00:56:11

All right.

00:56:12

We'll get to that in just a second.

00:56:14

All right.

00:56:15

Calm down.

00:56:15

Calm down.

00:56:16

Coming or not.

00:56:19

there's

00:56:20

one door you're not allowed to go through

00:56:23

and I'm gonna enter it

00:56:25

damn it

00:56:26

and we thought Hotman was a problem

00:56:28

go ahead

00:56:31

there you go

00:56:33

Patches you and

00:56:35

Chuckles are still

00:56:37

in the four year section

00:56:39

oops I'm sorry that's the wrong one

00:56:41

I'm so sorry

00:56:43

I don't have a token for it

00:56:46

there you go, sorry

00:56:49

front gate

00:56:50

you're in the front gate, yep

00:56:52

in the Kincade yard

00:56:53

and you just

00:56:56

watch Squish

00:56:58

just storm up the steps

00:57:01

oh there he goes

00:57:03

there he goes

00:57:04

that's our Squish

00:57:06

uh

00:57:08

you have patches

00:57:10

she's with you patches and she turns

00:57:12

oh did your friend just disappear

00:57:14

they told him he couldn't go somewhere

00:57:16

so there he goes

00:57:19

he's got that in him

00:57:20

it's in his blood

00:57:22

it makes him for a natural pirate I have to say

00:57:24

but pretty poor

00:57:26

with patience I should also say

00:57:29

and boundaries

00:57:31

Chuckles you're kind of having

00:57:32

the same conversation with Evelyn

00:57:34

where she's like did he just go in there

00:57:36

or

00:57:38

yeah well I would try to

00:57:40

stop him if he weren't so

00:57:44

drunk.

00:57:44

But when he sets his...

00:57:46

Indetermined.

00:57:48

Who said I was drunk?

00:57:52

He did about you.

00:57:53

This game's getting dirty.

00:57:55

He's a raging drunk.

00:57:58

You should know that.

00:58:00

The thing you need to know about Squish

00:58:02

is that, yeah, he's wasted.

00:58:06

And when he sets his mind to something,

00:58:11

he will not be reasoned with.

00:58:12

So let's just...

00:58:14

Drinking is a horrible habit, I say, as I drink.

00:58:17

Pull off Lask.

00:58:19

Yeah.

00:58:20

So let's just see how this turns out for him.

00:58:24

I'm sure he's going to end up in prison and we'll have to break him out.

00:58:28

Does this place have a jail, do you think?

00:58:31

A...

00:58:31

Oh, shit.

00:58:32

What's it called on the ship?

00:58:34

A lock?

00:58:34

No.

00:58:35

Do you think this house has a brick?

00:58:39

It has a basement.

00:58:40

A cellar?

00:58:43

the root cellar

00:58:45

lock them in the root cellar

00:58:50

shut them up

00:58:51

shut them up in the greenhouse

00:58:54

yes he'll never break out of the greenhouse

00:58:59

most of these places you know have some place

00:59:02

to put their drunken guests I mean they

00:59:04

the greenhouse

00:59:06

the greenhouse

00:59:09

all right

00:59:11

back to the first

00:59:12

are you guys just going to stand outside

00:59:14

the rest of the night or are you

00:59:17

following?

00:59:18

Oh no I'm not following him. I would like to watch him

00:59:20

from afar in case there's something I can do

00:59:22

to help. I don't think

00:59:24

yeah I don't want to

00:59:26

follow him but I don't want

00:59:28

to abandon him either.

00:59:31

Okay.

00:59:32

Oh perfect. I just want to make sure we're

00:59:34

like if I need to have two

00:59:36

sets of. Oh if we're going to split the party?

00:59:39

Yeah we're splitting the party.

00:59:40

anyway squish you uh storm off the stairs and yes this butler who's kind of in a powdered wig kind

00:59:45

of puts his very gently not even really touching you but like puts his gloved hand up and he goes

00:59:50

i'm sorry sir uh guests are restricted to the first floor of the house could i offer you a drink

00:59:55

instead uh and like from behind his head did you just touch me oh my god no sir i i don't believe

01:00:02

i did uh and he like i believe you did oh my god talk about not having a plan you're starting to get

01:00:10

you're starting to get a little bit of a crowd people are looking

01:00:14

so I promise you if there was any sort of

01:00:18

intimacy on my part I surely regret it now

01:00:21

if you would be so kind as to go back down the stairs I believe we have a

01:00:25

wonderful steak tartare appetizer being passed around oh yes there it is

01:00:29

and he kind of points and I also believe that I have to be up

01:00:33

there to prepare said steak tartare

01:00:38

I'm sorry are you

01:00:39

with the kitchens

01:00:42

yeah

01:00:43

then you should know

01:00:45

very well that the kitchens are on the

01:00:47

first floor in the back of the house

01:00:49

I would be happy to show you the way

01:00:52

absolutely not

01:00:53

I am

01:00:55

the highest of chefs here

01:00:58

that I need

01:00:59

to go and talk

01:01:01

to

01:01:03

Lady Bouquet right now

01:01:05

about her

01:01:06

Appetizers.

01:01:10

Sir, are you with the kitchens?

01:01:14

Yes.

01:01:17

But you would know perfectly well that as the head butler of the house,

01:01:21

it is my responsibility to keep all servants and unwanted guests on the first floor.

01:01:26

And I am the lead chef in this place or this party.

01:01:35

Are you trying to convince him?

01:01:38

I'm trying to sway him to get out of the way so I can talk to him.

01:01:43

Okay.

01:01:44

Sure.

01:01:44

It sounds like you're just yelling.

01:01:49

I'm trying to keep it a little bit more professional.

01:01:52

Oh, this is you trying to keep it professional?

01:01:56

As Andy, yes, I'm a little drunk.

01:01:58

I feel like me and Junkles are just sitting and I'm like,

01:02:03

popcorn.

01:02:05

Watching

01:02:08

a part of the crowd.

01:02:09

I don't think I'm enjoying this.

01:02:13

I don't know what to do.

01:02:15

You would if I failed.

01:02:17

I don't think so.

01:02:19

I would like to sway him.

01:02:22

Yeah, you would definitely sway him.

01:02:24

Now, you are going to take a minus one, though,

01:02:27

because you've come in

01:02:29

hot. This guy

01:02:31

clearly works here.

01:02:32

He might be the head butler.

01:02:37

Yeah, the head butler.

01:02:40

If you want to do your sway minus one, you can definitely give that a chance.

01:02:44

I did.

01:02:46

I got a five. Partial success.

01:02:51

He doesn't karate chop you.

01:02:53

You kind of take another step up.

01:02:55

He does put his hand up.

01:02:58

He looks at you and he looks at you hard.

01:03:01

one of those old man stairs where he's just really like really looking you up

01:03:05

and down. And he goes,

01:03:07

I would be happy to send any message you have to Madame Bouquet,

01:03:13

but she's made it very clear.

01:03:15

She's not to be disturbed tonight unless under the most dire of circumstances.

01:03:20

So if you have a message to give her,

01:03:22

I would be happy to send it and see if she's willing to speak to you.

01:03:28

Okay. I'm going to,

01:03:30

I kind of want to time out here because now I need to think.

01:03:33

Interesting.

01:03:34

Okay.

01:03:37

So Patches, Chuckles, you see him kind of storm up the stairs.

01:03:42

You see this conversation back and forth,

01:03:44

and you see that a little bit of tension has left both of them.

01:03:49

The butler is a little bit, maybe he's being a little bit more trusting,

01:03:53

and you can tell Chuckles is not as like, you know, he's also taken a step back.

01:03:59

the two of you are inside the door and you see the same thing.

01:04:01

There are people flowing back and forth,

01:04:04

tons of food being passed around,

01:04:06

tons of drinks being passed around.

01:04:08

And I don't think you guys were walking arm in arm.

01:04:12

I think you guys just as a group kind of went up there.

01:04:14

But now Lady High Hills, she's going to go take your arm, chuckles.

01:04:18

And she goes, darling, I would love for you to show me around.

01:04:21

Oh, not that arm.

01:04:24

Not that arm.

01:04:27

Yeah, tennis injury.

01:04:28

Tennis injury

01:04:30

Tennis?

01:04:31

Yeah, we play a lot of tennis on a boat

01:04:35

There's a lot of dead time

01:04:37

So I've been getting really good at it

01:04:39

But my elbow

01:04:42

It's got tennis in it

01:04:43

I got tennis elbow

01:04:49

Would you like me to go get you a tray

01:04:51

Of something then?

01:04:52

Yeah, that would be great

01:04:54

Maybe you could go get me

01:04:57

A drink

01:04:59

popcorn chicken if they've got it

01:05:02

or anything

01:05:03

popcorn size

01:05:05

medium spicy

01:05:08

don't forget the ranch

01:05:09

thank you

01:05:12

of course

01:05:13

you just sit here and rest

01:05:15

oh my poor sweet thing

01:05:17

she very awkwardly

01:05:19

and quickly takes her arm and kind of

01:05:21

gives it a little kiss

01:05:24

and

01:05:25

disappears into the crowd

01:05:28

to go look for.

01:05:30

And I'm sorry, you said a plate of cocktail chicken

01:05:32

and anything cocktail?

01:05:34

Yeah, cocktail chicken, please.

01:05:37

Side of jelly beans.

01:05:42

You could have let that part out.

01:05:47

I ordered medium spicy chicken

01:05:50

to keep the ranch coming.

01:05:52

Meanwhile, Oven's kind of, you know,

01:05:55

distracted by her own thing

01:05:56

because she also was invited to this party.

01:05:59

So, you know, she kind of knows, you know,

01:06:01

there's people here she sees and recognizes.

01:06:03

She goes, look, look, I don't,

01:06:05

I think we should try looking for the library first,

01:06:07

I think, or maybe her office or something.

01:06:09

Maybe that's where she's keeping all of her documents.

01:06:13

Excellent. That's a great idea.

01:06:15

Let's make for the library.

01:06:17

Wait, do you know where the library is?

01:06:21

I mean, I can probably try to sneak it out a little bit.

01:06:25

You mean like do some espionage?

01:06:29

Yeah.

01:06:29

Yeah.

01:06:30

I mean, yeah.

01:06:31

Some social, social engineering.

01:06:34

Social espionage.

01:06:36

All right.

01:06:37

Okay.

01:06:37

Great.

01:06:38

I've got a mission for you.

01:06:41

Pretend that you don't know me and I'll pretend like I don't know you.

01:06:47

And then we'll each do our own social espionage.

01:06:52

Ready?

01:06:53

On three.

01:06:53

One.

01:06:54

One.

01:06:54

So.

01:06:55

What? Questions?

01:06:56

Oh, okay. Yeah.

01:06:58

So you want me to hear what people are saying?

01:07:00

Yes, exactly.

01:07:02

But no one can know that we're together.

01:07:04

Because if we get caught, and we get caught

01:07:06

separately, we might be able to finish the

01:07:09

job. But if we get caught

01:07:10

together, that would be really bad.

01:07:13

So it's called compartmentalization.

01:07:15

You should have a code word.

01:07:18

Do you have a code word?

01:07:21

We can come up with one.

01:07:22

How about cocktail chicken?

01:07:26

is that what you just ordered

01:07:29

no that's not my code word

01:07:30

so when she comes

01:07:32

when she comes back and says I got your cocktail chicken

01:07:35

she's going to be really confused

01:07:38

yeah but

01:07:39

she wouldn't say

01:07:41

it's not my code word my code word is different

01:07:43

ok fine you're right cocktail

01:07:45

thank you Patches

01:07:47

for saying that in character

01:07:53

yeah

01:07:54

Okay, so a little bit of snooping.

01:07:57

Come back to tell you what I find.

01:07:58

Cocktail chicken.

01:07:59

Got it.

01:08:00

And she kind of...

01:08:02

Nothing.

01:08:04

Yeah, so she kind of leaves.

01:08:08

So now it's you and Chuckles standing in the foyer together.

01:08:14

Squish, have you had time to think?

01:08:17

No, not really.

01:08:19

I don't know.

01:08:19

Okay.

01:08:20

You really got yourself into a pickle.

01:08:25

Aside from keep trying to sway him about who I am.

01:08:28

Aside from continuing to roll for a different outcome.

01:08:35

I mean, he's willing to take your message to the lady Madame Bouquet.

01:08:41

Madame Bouquet.

01:08:45

Okay, then yeah, have him take the message to Madame Bouquet about...

01:08:52

your message, sir.

01:08:57

No, about how

01:09:00

terrible these

01:09:03

past appetizers are

01:09:06

and how much

01:09:08

they should have been better

01:09:09

for this type of party

01:09:12

and you didn't have time to think about this.

01:09:16

There's a list of

01:09:18

your notes are

01:09:21

The appetizers are

01:09:23

or should have

01:09:25

planned better.

01:09:27

Exactly.

01:09:28

I am so sorry, sir. You have had such a

01:09:31

bad time here. I will speak to

01:09:33

Chef Roselle immediately.

01:09:35

Wait, Chef Roselle

01:09:37

is in charge of this?

01:09:38

She's our caterer for tonight.

01:09:40

Oh, sweet Jesus.

01:09:42

Chef Roselle is just bad.

01:09:44

We just

01:09:45

haven't clued in on it yet.

01:09:47

I know.

01:09:49

Alright, Jess.

01:09:50

take that to the madame.

01:09:55

Absolutely, sir.

01:09:56

And you see that he, you know,

01:09:59

takes the little note that he's written on this

01:10:01

and he puts it on a silver tray.

01:10:02

He snaps his fingers

01:10:05

and another servant comes by with his own silver tray

01:10:08

and he puts the one silver tray on the second silver tray

01:10:10

and then takes that silver tray up the stairs.

01:10:13

He goes, I promise we shall have this fixed momentarily, sir.

01:10:18

Thank you for your patience and consideration.

01:10:21

Right now, you as head butler should take care of this.

01:10:27

You're absolutely right.

01:10:29

Once I'm finished with Chef Roselle, she'll never work in this town or any other town again.

01:10:34

And I'll make sure.

01:10:36

You let me talk to Chef Roselle.

01:10:38

Of course, sir.

01:10:39

Down in the kitchen.

01:10:41

May I escort you?

01:10:44

Yes.

01:10:45

And so he kind of gently, again, not touching you, but puts his hand like just hovering over your back and uses that to touch me down the stairs.

01:10:57

And so you go down the stairs.

01:10:59

You let me follow you.

01:11:02

Please, sir.

01:11:04

This way.

01:11:05

And lead you down the stairs around the corner towards the back of the house to the kitchen.

01:11:12

Chuckles, patches.

01:11:14

You've seen him now leave you guys going around the corner.

01:11:19

And I'm sure he's got it under control.

01:11:23

I just add a character.

01:11:24

I love that, like, what's it called, Andy?

01:11:27

Andy, since you're a chef, your main tactic is to spy is to insult the cooking.

01:11:35

That's how you get anywhere.

01:11:36

Don't worry.

01:11:37

I got this, guys.

01:11:38

I got this.

01:11:38

Exactly.

01:11:40

These fries are terrible.

01:11:42

Let me talk to the chef right now.

01:11:43

You're the ultimate Karen right now.

01:11:46

It's like Chef Ramsay.

01:11:48

They get so upset.

01:11:50

They love you.

01:11:52

I really commit suicide.

01:11:54

That's great.

01:11:54

See, I didn't picture Chef Ramsay, but now I do.

01:12:00

How is Chef Rizal committing suicide?

01:12:03

I got to help us.

01:12:05

I'm not sure that.

01:12:08

You have to let me talk to Chef Rizal.

01:12:10

I have to ask.

01:12:11

Once again, this is out of character, obviously.

01:12:13

Is the cooking really bad or are you just making it up?

01:12:16

I didn't see him eating anything.

01:12:17

I'm just making it up.

01:12:19

I am flying by the seat of my pants.

01:12:22

And Hope said she knows how to get to the library.

01:12:29

But do you know that you're trying to get to the library yet?

01:12:37

What's in the library?

01:12:39

The candlestick.

01:12:41

Oh, yeah.

01:12:47

it raises a very interesting question

01:12:51

what are we trying to

01:12:52

achieve here?

01:12:53

that was probably a question to

01:12:55

you know

01:12:56

ask

01:12:58

flashback

01:13:01

demanded to see

01:13:02

demanded to see something

01:13:05

what the fuck are we trying to find out here?

01:13:07

we're trying to find out more about

01:13:11

Neelix

01:13:12

and how would we find out about Neelix in this garden party?

01:13:16

Well, they're in league with Tam Tamaram.

01:13:21

Who is a part of a cult that is orchestrated with Steve Neelix.

01:13:24

Who ripped the page out of the book that had Neelix on it.

01:13:30

Right.

01:13:31

So we get into the party.

01:13:34

Well, yeah.

01:13:35

And then we were going to gather intel with Evelyn.

01:13:37

Yeah, surreptitiously.

01:13:40

Surreptitiously.

01:13:41

And we're going to hopefully find more information about either members or paperwork.

01:13:46

And so where would we find out about that?

01:13:50

Well, probably a library or something like that.

01:13:53

Evelyn did suggest a library to Patches and to Chouple.

01:13:59

Yeah, she's on a secret mission now.

01:14:00

I do not believe you heard that.

01:14:01

No, no, no.

01:14:02

You just immediately barged up the stairs because you saw a guy that really got in your craw for some reason.

01:14:07

I'm not sure why.

01:14:10

He was the head butler.

01:14:12

Sir, can I see your ID to get on this plane?

01:14:15

What the fuck?

01:14:17

And then immediately go to jail.

01:14:19

He had that energy to it.

01:14:21

Yeah.

01:14:23

All right.

01:14:23

So I assume I heard these details via comm system.

01:14:33

What comm system?

01:14:34

We have a comm system.

01:14:35

We do have walkie-talkies.

01:14:38

We got walkie-talkies.

01:14:41

that are always on.

01:14:43

Yes, that we need to go to the library.

01:14:48

Yes, and now you're being steered towards the kitchen.

01:14:52

So, chuckles and patches.

01:14:57

You guys are kind of still standing in the doorway,

01:14:59

and now people are kind of bumping and crowding around you.

01:15:01

Do you realize that maybe the doorway is not the best place to stand?

01:15:04

Yeah, great idea.

01:15:05

To be inconspicuous?

01:15:09

Patches?

01:15:12

yar

01:15:13

uh yeah let's start uh let's start uh you know i'm just thinking we probably just

01:15:18

sashaying away eating eating cocktail various cocktail foods and uh

01:15:24

schmoozing hey let's go talk to some people

01:15:27

yeah and i start walking around kicking my legs out like i'm a fucking like

01:15:31

rule of the place you know i was i was just trying to listen to conversations

01:15:35

Finger guns

01:15:36

Finger guns to everybody

01:15:38

Hey, yar, I point at one person

01:15:40

There you are

01:15:41

Do I know you?

01:15:44

No, but that's where you are

01:15:45

That's where you are, you're there, yar

01:15:48

Thank you for that

01:15:54

Yeah, so you are kind of mingling with guests

01:15:56

And, you know, most of them are just, you know

01:16:01

Shooting the shit, talking

01:16:03

you see there's dancing in

01:16:05

one room there's a lot

01:16:07

of people here

01:16:08

enough that you kind of have lost

01:16:11

like you can't

01:16:12

once somebody disappears in the crowd they're

01:16:15

gone you know you're not going to be able to watch people

01:16:16

move around that I say that because

01:16:19

you realize that you haven't seen

01:16:22

neither

01:16:23

Evelyn or Lady High Hill

01:16:25

for a moment or two they're still

01:16:27

off doing their thing

01:16:29

well yeah Lady High Hill is getting

01:16:31

me a drink. And Evelyn's

01:16:33

on a secret mission that I gave her.

01:16:36

I've got it totally

01:16:37

under control.

01:16:47

Squish, you are led into the

01:16:49

kitchens, and yes, you see

01:16:51

Chef Roselle there.

01:16:53

Hard at work, as always.

01:16:55

Getting shit

01:16:57

together.

01:17:01

and

01:17:02

the butler that's been leading you

01:17:04

kind of snaps his fingers again

01:17:06

and calls her over and you can see she's

01:17:08

stressed. She's got sweat

01:17:10

coming down her head.

01:17:12

She's wiping it away and she goes

01:17:14

I am doing the very best I can

01:17:16

tell you Madame Boupet that

01:17:18

if she wants things served at the same time

01:17:20

she should order nine ovens instead of

01:17:22

just two.

01:17:25

And she's telling that to me?

01:17:27

she's selling that to the butler

01:17:29

presumably read the note

01:17:30

yeah and I started yelling

01:17:32

at the butler in complete

01:17:35

agreeance with Shepard

01:17:37

yeah you should have done this

01:17:39

you should know how to figure all this

01:17:40

shit out beforehand

01:17:43

talk squish

01:17:44

what are you doing here

01:17:46

did you come here to help us

01:17:48

you took my offer of employment

01:17:51

no

01:17:53

oh

01:17:54

I mean yes

01:17:56

yes I did

01:17:57

to help you with this

01:18:00

party

01:18:02

I'm helping you with this party

01:18:03

but that's it because you need my

01:18:05

expertise in how to

01:18:08

deal with the food

01:18:09

instead of this idiot pointing at

01:18:11

the head butler

01:18:14

about how to organize

01:18:15

stuff how to organize

01:18:17

the food and how the food should

01:18:19

go out

01:18:20

this idiot knows nothing

01:18:23

about how it should be done

01:18:25

Yeah, absolutely. You know nothing. You're just a butler. Go and buttle something. What does that even mean?

01:18:31

Yeah, go buttle something, you idiot.

01:18:34

Yeah, you idiot. And they kind of just both berate the butler until he just like throws his arms up and backs out.

01:18:41

Because from his understanding, the food was very, very bad. He gets you to the chef and now you both are just shouting at him.

01:18:50

Well, so after I leave, I go, hey, Chef Rizal, I need to find a way to the library.

01:18:56

How do I get there?

01:18:57

I don't know where the library is.

01:18:59

I know where the kitchen is.

01:19:02

I know where the dining room is.

01:19:04

And that's pretty much it.

01:19:07

Is there some kind of pass you can give me so I can find my way throughout this mansion without being inspected?

01:19:18

I mean, have you tried dressing like a servant?

01:19:23

I've tried that before.

01:19:25

It didn't really work.

01:19:26

Well, you're wearing a bright pink suit.

01:19:29

I don't think that's going to be very subtle.

01:19:32

Okay, so give me something where they won't expect me to be.

01:19:35

There he goes again.

01:19:37

Now he's yelling at the only person that was being nice to him.

01:19:41

I want to point out this is the second time you've come into her kitchen

01:19:44

under the pretense of complaint.

01:19:45

Yeah, and the same chef.

01:19:46

You just came in and started yelling at her.

01:19:48

telling her that she sucked.

01:19:51

And then she paid for our dinner.

01:19:53

No, he actually talked his way out of it.

01:19:56

I heard him.

01:19:57

She did not pay for the dinner.

01:19:59

She explicitly did not pay for the dinner.

01:20:03

Evelyn paid for the dinner.

01:20:07

So now I just need to convince her to give me a uniform.

01:20:14

So give me the uniform.

01:20:18

I think we have a spare in a chest down there.

01:20:22

And she points to kind of like this like foot locker type chest that she has sitting there.

01:20:28

And she goes, I think there's probably one in your size.

01:20:30

I don't know.

01:20:31

You have extras in case people spill.

01:20:33

I can suck it in a little bit.

01:20:37

While you go digging through the chest, Lady High Hill appears momentarily and kind of like just grabs a plate of cocktail chicken.

01:20:48

from one of the servants

01:20:50

who's supposed to be passing it around.

01:20:52

She just takes the whole tray

01:20:54

in her hands.

01:20:56

And she turns back around

01:20:58

and she quickly spots

01:21:00

you, Chuckles,

01:21:02

with the food. And she brings the tray to you

01:21:04

and she goes, my sweetheart,

01:21:06

this is the cocktail chicken.

01:21:08

Now, remind me again, what is cocktail chicken?

01:21:10

Oh, it's a little bit of,

01:21:13

you know, it's a chicken

01:21:14

that you can eat during cocktails.

01:21:17

Seven herbs and spices.

01:21:19

And one of which is liquor.

01:21:23

Herb.

01:21:28

She sets the tray down for you.

01:21:31

And she goes, my darling, your elbow, I can't believe it hurts so badly.

01:21:36

I know.

01:21:36

It hurts a bit a lot.

01:21:39

Oh, my sweetheart.

01:21:41

And she kind of pets gently the other side.

01:21:44

And then she goes, who was that woman from earlier?

01:21:48

the one that came in with Squish

01:21:49

where is Squish by the way

01:21:51

oh it's best not to ask

01:21:53

no that's my nurse

01:21:56

your nurse

01:21:57

yes my elbow nurse

01:22:00

I'm glad

01:22:01

to see you're taking care of yourself

01:22:03

yeah it's tough out

01:22:05

on the seven seas

01:22:07

but I'm really trying to put on a brave

01:22:09

face

01:22:12

well I

01:22:13

I'm so glad I got to see

01:22:15

you and as she says this

01:22:17

as she's talking. Patches, are you still here with them?

01:22:21

Yeah, I'm just hanging around. I've been like eating popcorn

01:22:25

chicken, eating popcorn with the popcorn chicken. I got two bags in both

01:22:29

pockets on either breast on my shirt.

01:22:34

I'm like hanging out. I imagine there's like a little banister behind me.

01:22:37

I'm kind of like hanging out far enough that I can hear what's going on, but not far enough that

01:22:41

I'm like intruding on my young friend's

01:22:44

a conversation.

01:22:47

And I'm like eyeballing people as I walk by,

01:22:49

like, hey, how's it doing?

01:22:50

Yar, how you doing?

01:22:51

Yar.

01:22:52

Captain Patches.

01:22:53

Hot new pirate upon the seas.

01:22:55

Yar.

01:22:56

Yar.

01:22:56

I recently took Andrew Fitzhine's ship, right?

01:22:59

Yar.

01:23:03

So it's getting kind of crowded in the room,

01:23:05

and you know, you guys get bumped as you do at parties.

01:23:08

And she's like, I really do need to talk to you

01:23:11

about something rather serious,

01:23:13

but I'm hoping we can maybe get a quiet moment later on to talk about it.

01:23:19

Am I in trouble?

01:23:22

No, no, no, of course not, of course not.

01:23:26

Oh, that panicked me.

01:23:28

Say, now, I definitely want to have that important conversation at some point.

01:23:35

Don't worry.

01:23:36

But let's say, you know, you're of high society.

01:23:41

Where do people of high society generally keep their libraries?

01:23:48

Oh, on the second floor.

01:23:49

The second floor.

01:23:50

Now, how do you get to a second floor?

01:23:54

Usually there's stairs.

01:23:56

Perfect.

01:23:57

Great.

01:23:57

Now, what did you want?

01:23:59

I thought she just answers this like, yeah, there's just stairs right there, you know.

01:24:03

And how do you get into that library?

01:24:05

There's a door.

01:24:06

Now, I would want to go about getting up the stairs into the library if you could read.

01:24:11

which I will be able to someday

01:24:13

as you know

01:24:15

as we've been working very hard

01:24:16

of course I've worked in letters

01:24:18

you've been working very hard

01:24:19

and I couldn't have done it without you

01:24:20

why don't you take her to the library lad

01:24:22

is that a come on

01:24:25

sneak away to the library

01:24:26

it's pretty private in there isn't it

01:24:27

oh and quiet

01:24:30

and no one goes in the library

01:24:31

for smooching

01:24:34

nobody smooches in the library

01:24:36

it's a perfect smoot to the spot

01:24:43

I don't think she can hear.

01:24:44

I feel like you just tapped me on the back.

01:24:47

I imagine she's, I'm like hanging around by your left shoulder.

01:24:50

She's on your right side.

01:24:54

Whispering under my breath.

01:24:55

Yeah, exactly.

01:24:56

A real Serrano.

01:25:00

A real Sorrento.

01:25:02

Yes, like the cheese.

01:25:03

Now.

01:25:05

I have the big cheese.

01:25:08

Yes, Lady Highhill.

01:25:09

Perhaps we could sneak away to the quiet sanctuary of High Society Library,

01:25:17

and you could read to me.

01:25:20

Or I could read to you, as long as they have children's books in there.

01:25:27

Well, I suppose I could sneak away for just a few minutes to get up there.

01:25:32

All right.

01:25:33

Now, can we look at the stairs?

01:25:37

Well, I would like to look at the stairs and see, are there any impediments?

01:25:43

This is a butler.

01:25:45

So the good news is that the butler is still being detained in the kitchen.

01:25:51

He made a distraction.

01:25:53

As you go up the stairs, you see a very dark, very stern figure in black descend the stairs.

01:26:02

this is Madame Bouquet

01:26:04

and she is holding the small card

01:26:06

that

01:26:07

the butler had filled out earlier

01:26:09

with Squish's complaint

01:26:11

I'm sorry with Squish's complaint

01:26:14

and she's very

01:26:16

very stern faced

01:26:17

not cracking a smile

01:26:19

and she's coming down the stairs

01:26:21

I tip my hat as is customary

01:26:23

I assume

01:26:27

she sees you tip your hat

01:26:29

and she kind of like doesn't even

01:26:31

look at you, just kind of like looks

01:26:34

past you.

01:26:35

That's comfortable.

01:26:36

And then she sees Lady Highhill

01:26:38

and she goes, oh, Lady Highhill,

01:26:41

I'm so glad you were able to make it

01:26:44

such a long trip for you

01:26:46

across the sea.

01:26:47

Do you guys have history?

01:26:48

Future roast.

01:26:53

Lady Highhill kind of like leans over

01:26:54

and she goes, no, that's just the way she talks.

01:26:56

Wow.

01:26:58

She's mesmerizing.

01:27:02

how are you enjoying the party

01:27:05

I'm sorry I didn't

01:27:06

catch your name

01:27:08

she's talking to you

01:27:09

I'm Cory

01:27:10

Cory Trevor

01:27:15

Cory Trevor

01:27:16

remind me

01:27:19

oh he's with you

01:27:22

Lady Highhill

01:27:23

yes

01:27:24

the Trevor clan from Sunnyvale

01:27:29

surely you know of us

01:27:32

or Buffy

01:27:33

that different Sunnyvale

01:27:34

no relation

01:27:38

I've not

01:27:39

heard of a Sunnyvale

01:27:41

although I must admit that my

01:27:43

knowledge of exotic lands

01:27:45

oh you really must come over

01:27:46

our garden parties are also

01:27:49

to die for like this one

01:27:51

you've done a real crack up job

01:27:55

well I'm glad it

01:27:56

meets to your expectations, although

01:27:58

I must now formally address

01:28:00

this complaint that I received.

01:28:02

Apparently the food is

01:28:04

bad, and we should feel bad

01:28:06

for having it. Ooh, that's harsh.

01:28:08

That's a

01:28:10

one-star. Quite harsh. I hired

01:28:12

the best chef, apparently the best chef.

01:28:14

She was supposed to be the best chef

01:28:16

in Doscaval and now in Lockport,

01:28:18

although once I'm finished, she will

01:28:21

have to

01:28:22

hang up her knives.

01:28:24

Yeah, you go ruin her life.

01:28:29

but pleasure meeting you

01:28:30

you throw a real bang up party

01:28:32

I can't wait to see the garden later

01:28:37

oh please do check it out

01:28:39

and make sure to check out Sigmey's

01:28:41

people find it refreshing

01:28:43

romantic exhilarating

01:28:45

troublesome

01:28:48

okay thank you

01:28:52

leave us alone now please

01:28:54

And she kind of floats away.

01:28:59

And she does this thing where she walks, but she don't really see her feet move.

01:29:03

She just kind of seems like she's floating.

01:29:04

But the whole party, as soon as she walks past, just like either side, nobody gets in her way.

01:29:11

And you see her disappear into the kitchen.

01:29:14

Patches, what have you been doing?

01:29:16

I have been mesmerized by Lady Bucket.

01:29:20

And I was like, what a woman?

01:29:26

I start following behind her with my, um,

01:29:29

eating popcorn chicken as I, as I'm, you know,

01:29:31

dodging through traffic of people going in and out of the kitchen. Like,

01:29:35

like I'd like suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be.

01:29:43

Um, so you,

01:29:45

you start to descend the stairs, um, up to the second floor, uh,

01:29:49

patches with your, I'm sorry, not patches.

01:29:52

I'm getting this all mixed up.

01:29:55

Chuckles with Lady High Hook.

01:29:56

You're going up the stairs.

01:29:58

All right.

01:30:01

So Squish, you were in the kitchen with Chef Roselle.

01:30:05

Yes.

01:30:05

You have just, you put on a pretty typical serving outfit,

01:30:10

which is just kind of like a white shirt, black pants.

01:30:13

You stuffed your magenta suit down, kind of hiding it,

01:30:17

I think, among the other clothes there.

01:30:22

yes yeah i did i fucking hid it away

01:30:28

uh and uh chef roselle says okay you look beautiful you you have the outfit

01:30:34

uh here take this and she hands you a plate of food and goes start serving guests

01:30:39

you want me to start serving them i don't know what you're doing here you came in here and you

01:30:44

just started screaming at that man with me,

01:30:47

which is fine. I mean, he

01:30:48

deserves it, but what is your aim?

01:30:50

What is your goal?

01:30:51

I just need to get to the library

01:30:55

without being detected. That's

01:30:56

all I need.

01:30:59

Well,

01:31:00

maybe, I don't know,

01:31:02

serve drinks in the

01:31:04

library? I don't know. Here, just get out

01:31:06

of the kitchen. Okay.

01:31:08

So I take a, I have a platter full

01:31:10

of drinks,

01:31:13

not all drinks, but

01:31:16

some chicken cocktail, apparently,

01:31:19

because that's what's popular at this party.

01:31:25

And I started wandering out to try to find the library

01:31:29

because nobody told me exactly where it is.

01:31:31

So I don't know.

01:31:33

So I'm just wandering around with this tray of drinks

01:31:37

and chicken cocktails.

01:31:39

As you leave the kitchen,

01:31:42

you see Madame Bouquet

01:31:45

enter the kitchen.

01:31:46

And then a few moments later, you bump into

01:31:49

Patches, who is also chasing

01:31:51

Madame Bouquet. Watch yourself, servant boy.

01:31:54

You'll never make

01:31:55

a good cabin boy

01:31:57

if you run into people

01:31:59

like that. But I'm a damn good

01:32:01

co-captain.

01:32:02

Oh!

01:32:04

Squash! Is that you?

01:32:06

It's me!

01:32:08

What are you doing, Brad?

01:32:10

The last time you were a magentic beauty.

01:32:12

Now you're a servant beauty.

01:32:15

I'm still a beauty, though.

01:32:17

Thank you.

01:32:18

I'm trying.

01:32:20

That's what I'm doing.

01:32:23

We're trying to find the library, right?

01:32:25

Yeah, well, I'm trying to follow this lady.

01:32:28

Which lady?

01:32:29

The one you just run into, that majestic.

01:32:33

She just entered the kitchen.

01:32:35

She is entering the kitchen.

01:32:36

I see that right now.

01:32:37

Why are you following her?

01:32:40

Because she's hot.

01:32:44

I can't help you with that

01:32:46

well

01:32:47

you go look for the library

01:32:48

here's what I'm saying

01:32:50

you go look for the library

01:32:53

I'll go talk to a madam

01:32:54

and see if she can give me any information

01:32:57

I'll see if I can schmooze

01:32:58

I'm a pretty good schmoozer

01:33:00

especially with these highfalutin class type people

01:33:03

you know watch me roll

01:33:04

you've never seen me in a cape before boy

01:33:07

watch me twirl

01:33:11

Watch me shake.

01:33:13

Okay.

01:33:16

That's my last one for the night.

01:33:19

Do you tell me where the library is?

01:33:22

I can go up there then?

01:33:24

I would say, lad, take the stairs and just pretend like you got drinks.

01:33:30

Hey, sir, you, boy.

01:33:32

I heard there was a lot of drinks in the library.

01:33:35

Take it up there right now.

01:33:37

And I give you a hard wink.

01:33:39

Okay.

01:33:40

I was going to try to hide the drinks from you because I know you're past.

01:33:44

I don't need your drinks.

01:33:46

I've got my own drinks.

01:33:46

And his leg.

01:33:47

His leg is made of drinks.

01:33:49

And also, who's going to turn down a free tray of drinks?

01:33:57

Already, you've talked me into it, and I've taken one glass off your thing.

01:34:01

Okay.

01:34:01

Get the fuck out of here.

01:34:02

I shake my glass and go to the library and deliver the rest of those drinks to the librarians.

01:34:06

They're very drinking.

01:34:08

They're very swatly a lot.

01:34:11

They need a lot to drink.

01:34:13

They're a rambunctious bunch.

01:34:15

Yeah, well, you know, librarians.

01:34:17

Right, yeah.

01:34:18

I guess, I don't know.

01:34:20

A bunch of drunks.

01:34:21

Yeah.

01:34:23

I'd go up to the library then with these drinks.

01:34:27

Truly God's job.

01:34:32

All right.

01:34:34

Hold on.

01:34:35

One second.

01:34:44

everyone see the second floor yeah okay hold on let me get your

01:34:55

oh we're so small yeah it's a big man okay

01:35:03

sorry one more second

01:35:10

so uh

01:35:13

Truffles and Lady High Hill you guys are coming up the stairs and you get to the second floor which is

01:35:18

just a large hallway rooms down either side uh and you just kind of start walking in a direction

01:35:27

looking for the library.

01:35:29

Clearly, this is not where guests are supposed to be, right?

01:35:32

So it's empty.

01:35:33

No, there's not.

01:35:35

But since the butler has been distracted,

01:35:38

a few guests here and there have kind of creeped

01:35:40

and found their way up, you know,

01:35:42

just to do stuff like, you know,

01:35:45

look in their medicine cabinet and pipeful drawers

01:35:48

and that sort of thing.

01:35:49

Oh, it's nice up here.

01:35:50

But it is very quiet.

01:35:53

Like, there's not nearly any amount of people up here

01:35:56

compared to downstairs, which is you can hear the noise from downstairs.

01:35:59

All right. Yeah.

01:36:02

So where would this library be where we can get some real privacy?

01:36:08

If you know what I mean, Lady High Hill.

01:36:11

I've missed you. So have I said that yet?

01:36:15

I don't know if you have, but it's always nice to hear.

01:36:18

Weird. Weird that you had to point that out.

01:36:25

Let's go this way.

01:36:26

She points out a hallway.

01:36:28

And you guys start walking through.

01:36:30

And you start kind of just opening up doors here and there.

01:36:34

And there's a lot of like, you know, like a music hall room, an art room,

01:36:39

just kind of like specific purpose room.

01:36:41

This house has everything.

01:36:43

Some spare bedrooms.

01:36:45

Yeah, it looks like what appears to be an office.

01:36:49

But you get to the end of the hall, and you can kind of peek into it,

01:36:55

and you see that this might be the library.

01:36:58

Oh, this looks like this might be the library.

01:37:01

Let's go in here.

01:37:02

Oh!

01:37:05

As you enter the room,

01:37:08

Evelyn is standing there

01:37:11

with a tray of cocktail chicken in her hand.

01:37:15

Oh!

01:37:17

Oh, fancy seeing you here.

01:37:21

Oh, yes!

01:37:24

Now, remember, you did tell Evelyn that she has to act like she doesn't know you.

01:37:30

And you told Lady High Hill that this was your nurse.

01:37:32

Yes.

01:37:34

Right.

01:37:35

Well.

01:37:36

For a ton of salt.

01:37:37

Yes.

01:37:38

So.

01:37:40

Weird.

01:37:41

Seeing you here, ma'am.

01:37:46

Miss.

01:37:46

Yes.

01:37:47

I'm sorry.

01:37:49

Cocktail chicken.

01:37:50

And you see that she's holding her own, like, small plate of cocktail chicken.

01:37:54

Oh, that looks delicious.

01:37:57

But I mustn't partake.

01:38:00

Thank you.

01:38:01

Good day.

01:38:04

No, I tip my hat to her.

01:38:07

I think I'm pulling it off.

01:38:11

End of conversation.

01:38:12

Who'd you whisper that to?

01:38:15

Nobody?

01:38:20

It was in my head.

01:38:21

Okay.

01:38:22

It was a thought.

01:38:23

Okay.

01:38:24

As it were.

01:38:28

Yeah, she's standing in the library and she hears this and she kind of like looks around and she's like,

01:38:36

are you sure you don't want any cocktail chicken?

01:38:41

Oh, cocktail chicken.

01:38:45

Right.

01:38:47

And now this is in my thoughts again.

01:38:49

Oh, my God.

01:38:50

Cocktail children was a code word.

01:38:51

Oh, my God.

01:38:51

What did that mean?

01:38:52

Why did we have a code word?

01:38:54

What does that mean?

01:38:55

What am I supposed to do at this point?

01:38:57

Is this in character?

01:38:57

This is in character, in my thoughts.

01:39:00

Oh, she's trying to single me something.

01:39:03

This is not good for old Juckles.

01:39:06

This is a real bind.

01:39:08

Keep it cool, Juckles.

01:39:09

Keep it cool.

01:39:11

Keep it cool.

01:39:17

Yes?

01:39:20

and then I wink

01:39:22

with both eyes

01:39:25

so you blink hard

01:39:29

she hands you

01:39:30

the plate of cocktail chicken

01:39:33

we're going to switch to

01:39:35

Squish. Squish you have gone up the stairs

01:39:37

and there doesn't seem to be

01:39:39

again there's a handful of people

01:39:41

wandering about as you pass

01:39:43

them you kind of maybe offer them

01:39:44

a drink but so far

01:39:47

no one's disturbed you, but you do see a door open at the end of the hall and you can hear

01:39:52

just what sounds like some pretty quiet voices talking.

01:39:56

I'm going to go into that hall then.

01:39:59

You go down the hallway and this is the library. You have found yourself in the same room now with

01:40:06

a plate of drinkware. And I had some cocktail chicken.

01:40:14

and some cocktail chicken.

01:40:17

Yeah, so you're standing in the library.

01:40:19

So within the library, this is how it's set up.

01:40:22

In the doorway is Chuckles with Lady Highhill.

01:40:26

Inside the library is Evelyn with a plate of cocktail chicken.

01:40:30

And now coming up behind, also into the doorway,

01:40:34

is Chuckles, I'm sorry, is Squish with a plate of drinks and cocktail chicken.

01:40:41

No longer in his magenta suit, but now instead in his servant's hair.

01:40:48

Perfect.

01:40:49

Perfect uniform.

01:40:51

Perfect uniform.

01:40:53

And the four of you are looking at each other awkwardly.

01:40:59

Actually, this doesn't look like the bathroom.

01:41:03

How about me?

01:41:05

Let's step out into the bathroom.

01:41:09

I'm sorry, sir.

01:41:11

I thought you asked specifically for some cocktail chicken.

01:41:16

Right.

01:41:17

Let's go talk about this.

01:41:20

Yes, in the bathroom.

01:41:22

In the bathroom?

01:41:24

Yes, bring the cocktail chicken.

01:41:28

I will bring this tray that has cocktail chicken.

01:41:32

Okay, I will meet you directly outside this room.

01:41:37

And perhaps...

01:41:38

I thought we were going in.

01:41:39

Or the bathroom.

01:41:40

And we will convene.

01:41:42

And you two young lady, beautiful ladies,

01:41:46

don't talk to each other while we're gone.

01:41:50

And then I wink with both eyes.

01:41:55

What the fuck is going on?

01:41:58

I'm dying in there, man.

01:42:00

I'm dying in there.

01:42:01

I don't know what I'm doing.

01:42:03

I just, but it is, it's the library.

01:42:06

That is the library.

01:42:07

All right.

01:42:08

We're in the library.

01:42:09

We got to look for Neelix?

01:42:11

Hold on.

01:42:13

Let me, just give me a minute to think.

01:42:15

Give me a minute to think.

01:42:16

I take a piece of cocktail chicken off the plate and eat it really quickly.

01:42:22

God damn, that's good.

01:42:25

Yeah, I know.

01:42:27

Chef Roselle made it.

01:42:28

She's fantastic.

01:42:29

It's great.

01:42:30

Why, what are we looking for?

01:42:32

I think we're just looking for any clues about Neelix.

01:42:36

It would be great if we could find the missing page.

01:42:38

however maybe there would be more information

01:42:41

in there I don't know

01:42:43

how I'm going to

01:42:45

I think Evelyn

01:42:47

might know she would be able

01:42:49

to help us however I

01:42:51

can't let her know that she knows

01:42:53

that they know that me

01:42:55

so

01:42:57

hmm

01:42:59

we need to

01:43:02

she can't

01:43:03

know that they know that you

01:43:04

exactly we need to dispose of Lady

01:43:07

High Hill

01:43:10

no no no no please please no no no no stop stop no no poor phrasing

01:43:15

poor phrasing no i need to um distract her perhaps no no i i will i will distract lady

01:43:24

hi-ho for you yes please distracted her take her to the bathroom or maybe no take her into

01:43:32

one of the spare bedrooms.

01:43:35

Oh, okay.

01:43:37

Why did you react like that?

01:43:39

Hold on.

01:43:41

Do you know her favorite track?

01:43:43

Yes.

01:43:44

Do you know her favorite position?

01:43:49

Okay.

01:43:50

Yeah, no, no, no.

01:43:51

I'll distract Lady High Hill in the bedroom.

01:43:53

You go get Evelyn to

01:43:56

lead you to

01:43:57

where

01:44:01

the lost

01:44:02

But just a little bit ago, you made a very excited noise when I suggested you take Lady Highhill into a spare bedroom.

01:44:14

What was that about?

01:44:15

Is there something I should know?

01:44:17

I did it.

01:44:18

No, I did that.

01:44:19

I made lots of noises.

01:44:21

All right.

01:44:22

No, you shouldn't have.

01:44:24

No, you have nothing to worry about.

01:44:25

I trust you.

01:44:27

I'm your friend.

01:44:27

I'm your friend.

01:44:29

Well.

01:44:30

I'm your co-captain.

01:44:32

Yeah, it's a bond stronger than blood.

01:44:35

All right.

01:44:36

All right.

01:44:37

On three.

01:44:37

One, two, three.

01:44:43

Oh, I can't clap because I just lost all the drinks.

01:44:46

Yeah, don't clap.

01:44:47

You got the cocktail chicken.

01:44:49

I didn't clap.

01:44:50

I got the cocktail chicken plus drinks, so I will lead Lady Hyo to where?

01:44:56

Oh, yes.

01:44:57

Oh, wait.

01:44:59

A bedroom, yes.

01:45:00

Please.

01:45:00

Got it.

01:45:03

please follow this servant and, you know,

01:45:07

perhaps to the other room where I, you will await me where we can have a,

01:45:13

I'm sorry. You just call me a servant. She knows who she knows I'm squash.

01:45:17

Yes, but they don't know your squash.

01:45:20

She knows I'm not just a servant.

01:45:24

Was I not clear when I said that they must not know that we know that they know

01:45:30

that me. Okay?

01:45:33

Was I not

01:45:34

clear? No.

01:45:35

You were not very

01:45:38

clear. What part of that did not accept you?

01:45:41

When you were

01:45:42

trying to tell me that they knew,

01:45:44

that he knew, that she knew, that you

01:45:46

were you. Yes, exactly.

01:45:48

Now, take Lady High Hill.

01:45:51

I'm trying.

01:45:52

Great.

01:45:55

So just to be clear,

01:45:56

you have stepped into the bathroom to have a conversation.

01:45:58

There's no clear

01:46:01

We're back in the

01:46:03

we walked back in the library after

01:46:04

on three we walked back in the library.

01:46:07

Oh yeah.

01:46:08

Yeah we

01:46:10

you just left the two women alone

01:46:13

by themselves

01:46:14

out of the library to talk to the

01:46:15

I don't think we made it to the bathroom.

01:46:18

We were just in the hallway.

01:46:19

Okay. Perfect.

01:46:20

I just want to make sure you guys

01:46:22

stepped out of the library

01:46:24

to have this conversation. Now you're

01:46:26

returning to the library.

01:46:29

And pulling it off, mind you.

01:46:30

You return to the library.

01:46:32

Yes.

01:46:33

And Lady High Hill and Evelyn are no longer in there.

01:46:36

Oh, sweet Jesus.

01:46:36

This is not good.

01:46:38

This is not good.

01:46:39

They are probably talking about me right now.

01:46:46

Patches, you are...

01:46:47

Yeah, what are you doing?

01:46:48

You have followed...

01:46:52

Patches, you followed Lily Bouquet into the kitchen.

01:46:58

And, well, you just saw her kind of give poor Chef Roselle just a fucking tongue lashing.

01:47:07

She's not even angry, which is the worst part.

01:47:10

She's just like, if you could serve incompetence as well as you've poorly served everything else tonight, I don't know if I would even have to pay you.

01:47:20

I've never been so, I've never had a guest ever come into my home and complain that the

01:47:27

food is bad and we should feel bad.

01:47:30

And I liked it.

01:47:31

I enjoyed it.

01:47:31

But clearly, you're not up to your game, Roselle.

01:47:34

I had faith in you that you could do this.

01:47:37

I trusted you that you could do this.

01:47:40

And yet my disappointment just keeps adding up.

01:47:43

So you've heard this whole refrain.

01:47:45

And poor Chef Roselle.

01:47:46

I mean, she has a little bit of a temper, but she knows when to hold her tongue.

01:47:51

So she's just standing there kind of head bowed, and she's taking it.

01:47:55

Madame Bouquet turns and goes to leave and sees you standing there instead.

01:47:59

And she goes, I'm sorry, this was a private moment.

01:48:03

This is the kitchen.

01:48:05

Y'all are sorry.

01:48:07

I didn't mean to interrupt your private moment with your downtrodden chef here.

01:48:16

Ahoy!

01:48:18

I'm not going to introduce myself, and I swear I swing my cape around.

01:48:22

I am the illustrious Captain Patches Mackenzie.

01:48:29

Pro-captain of a mighty ship.

01:48:33

Nice party, guys.

01:48:36

Well, thank you.

01:48:37

I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

01:48:39

If you excuse me, I have my guest to attend to,

01:48:42

and she goes to stand to push or leave the kitchen.

01:48:46

She kind of pushes past you.

01:48:47

Oh, hold on, hold on.

01:48:49

I couldn't help but notice how awesomely black your outfit is.

01:48:54

What a great black.

01:48:55

Is that velvet?

01:48:57

I don't touch without permission, you know, but it looks like velvet.

01:49:04

It is indeed velvet.

01:49:06

It's actually frocked.

01:49:08

Oh, my.

01:49:10

Did you say frocked?

01:49:14

Yes.

01:49:14

It's the only way to get that.

01:49:17

you see the slightest

01:49:20

slightest hint of a smile

01:49:21

from her just the smallest lip

01:49:23

raised just a little

01:49:26

well you know

01:49:27

really the

01:49:29

fuck really can be used for just about anything

01:49:31

but I mean truly its best

01:49:33

form is as a

01:49:35

garment especially

01:49:37

you know a sort of

01:49:40

upper class

01:49:41

garment you know one that really

01:49:43

really shows that you're high

01:49:45

falutin and really up there among the classes, and you can look down on people.

01:49:49

I mean, that's what I feel.

01:49:50

Every time I put on my red frock coat or my gray frock coat, I mean, let me tell you,

01:49:54

I feel on top of the world.

01:49:58

Yes, it is a quality material, sturdy, warm, full of depth.

01:50:10

A good material.

01:50:12

Well, are you the lady of the house?

01:50:18

The illustrious Madame Bucket?

01:50:22

It's pronounced Bouquet.

01:50:24

Oh, I'm sorry.

01:50:27

I'm quite the voracious reader, and I only saw your name ever read on the invitation.

01:50:31

So I apologize, my sweet petite.

01:50:40

Well, it's quite all right. It is of a foreign heritage.

01:50:47

It's very, very, I bet you it's very, very high class and very, very, you know, filled with history and severity.

01:50:59

All rolled into one.

01:51:02

Yes. Well, thank you.

01:51:06

May we continue this conversation, perhaps not where it smells like cocktail chicken.

01:51:10

Oh, of course, of course

01:51:12

That's probably me

01:51:14

I pull out popcorn chicken from my pocket

01:51:16

I always keep some from the road

01:51:17

But would you like some? Let me buy you a drink

01:51:20

Would you like a cocktail? Not chicken, but a cocktail

01:51:24

You can get me a drink

01:51:26

I don't really pay for drinks in my own household

01:51:29

But yes, I would love a drink

01:51:30

I won't pay for drinks in your household either, madam

01:51:35

And you two leave the kitchen together

01:51:38

we're going to go back up to the

01:51:40

second floor where

01:51:42

yeah

01:51:44

Chuckles, Squish, you go

01:51:46

you have your master plan, you turn into the

01:51:48

library and

01:51:50

both Evelyn and Lady High

01:51:52

Hill are gone

01:51:54

oh boy

01:51:58

where did they go

01:52:01

just when you got

01:52:02

bedroom permission

01:52:03

maybe they went to the bathroom

01:52:09

together

01:52:10

they're women

01:52:11

you're not here

01:52:13

together

01:52:14

together

01:52:15

why didn't you sign so excited

01:52:18

about that just now

01:52:20

me no I wasn't

01:52:22

I was

01:52:24

well

01:52:26

worrisome

01:52:28

maybe we should since we're here

01:52:30

we should look for anything obvious

01:52:35

um

01:52:37

yeah let me look for a book

01:52:40

or not a book

01:52:41

but a book with

01:52:43

Neelix in it or

01:52:45

pages or something

01:52:48

yeah if you

01:52:49

want to go ahead and roll your survey

01:53:08

uh five three and one so uh five partial success yeah so you you take a look uh around and the

01:53:16

library for the most part appears to be a pretty normal library.

01:53:19

There are shelves and shelves and shelves full of books.

01:53:22

But you do notice that on the desk where Evelyn was first standing when you

01:53:27

saw her, there is a book open.

01:53:31

Oh, yeah.

01:53:32

I'm going to go look at that book and see.

01:53:36

She knows something more.

01:53:38

I want to find out what she knows more.

01:53:42

Yeah, so the book is a companion to the book that you guys had originally stolen

01:53:49

that was about Neelix with the pages missing.

01:53:51

It's like Lockport or just Skavolian ghosts from A to Z.

01:53:56

And it is open to the page Neela.

01:54:03

Okay, so can I, is there, so Neela, so obviously Neelix is like,

01:54:10

can I flip the page over?

01:54:13

yeah so uh the the text here says uh neelix and neela uh companions in time

01:54:23

whoa companions in time yeah i'm juckles

01:54:31

i know i know who you are just letting you know that i know you know you don't have to say that

01:54:37

every time we say Jekylls.

01:54:38

Jekylls here.

01:54:40

I know who you are.

01:54:41

Go for Jekylls.

01:54:43

Apparently,

01:54:44

okay, yeah, keep going.

01:54:45

No, we're done.

01:54:46

My shtick's done.

01:54:48

No, no, no, inside your system.

01:54:50

Okay, so there's a Neela and a Neelix.

01:54:53

And they're companions in time.

01:54:54

Obviously, we know who Neelix is,

01:54:57

but who is Neela?

01:54:59

It's kind of hard to tell these days, am I right?

01:55:01

And I elbow him.

01:55:04

Not hard, in a joking manner.

01:55:05

Yeah, that's what...

01:55:08

Yeah, that's what we're trying to figure out.

01:55:11

You're trying to make a joke out of this.

01:55:12

No, I'm just saying maybe it's not a coincidence.

01:55:18

No, it's definitely not a coincidence.

01:55:21

Okay.

01:55:22

Was it saying anything else?

01:55:26

No, we have to find out.

01:55:28

Apparently, to figure out who Neelix is, we have to figure out who Neela was,

01:55:32

which is why we're in this whole predicament now.

01:55:35

So, what does the rest of the page say?

01:55:41

Yeah, so as you read on, it does give you a little bit,

01:55:46

and here's the gist of what it says.

01:55:49

It says that Neela and Neelix are two companions of one soul.

01:55:56

Neelix is the kinder, the gentler, the more compassionate of the two.

01:56:03

Neela is a raging bitch and should be kept contained at all costs.

01:56:11

When combined, Neela and Neelix formed an incredibly powerful, rageful demon, difficult to control, highly recommend, keep separate.

01:56:23

Interesting.

01:56:25

We probably shouldn't be encouraging him to transition, I feel like.

01:56:32

Which is what we've been doing.

01:56:33

That too.

01:56:35

Why not?

01:56:36

Well, hey, no.

01:56:38

If that's who he is, that's who Neelix is.

01:56:41

No, we don't want him to be a raging bitch.

01:56:45

That's not him.

01:56:46

We don't know who Neelix is.

01:56:48

Neelix is somebody different.

01:56:51

He's not turning into Neelix.

01:56:52

He's Neelix and Neelix.

01:56:54

Neelix just happens.

01:56:55

Wait, you're not here.

01:56:58

I'm conversating.

01:57:00

Neelix plus Neelix equals disaster.

01:57:03

Okay.

01:57:04

Yeah.

01:57:04

Correct.

01:57:06

So we have Neelix, we don't have Neela.

01:57:11

That is correct.

01:57:13

So we have to now find out who Neela is.

01:57:21

Dun, dun, dun.

01:57:25

Yes.

01:57:26

Okay.

01:57:28

So is there anything in the library to lead us to who Neela is?

01:57:34

Or, well, more so, let's find out where Evelyn is.

01:57:41

So we can get this date back on track.

01:57:44

Yeah.

01:57:45

Yeah, so we can make sure Jekyll gets a threesome

01:57:50

because everyone, they lose their virginity.

01:57:53

It's a threesome.

01:57:57

Wow.

01:57:58

I mean, wait, hold on.

01:58:00

That's not what I'm trying to do.

01:58:04

It's not.

01:58:04

Let's turn this so fast.

01:58:06

It's not what you're trying to do.

01:58:07

I said, let's get this payback on track.

01:58:09

You're like, yeah, get my face.

01:58:10

No, I don't want them to know each other.

01:58:12

That's a terrible idea.

01:58:14

I know one of them is in college, but the other one is not.

01:58:18

Bye.

01:58:19

I've just taken one problem making it two, brother.

01:58:21

If you're lucky.

01:58:22

Bye.

01:58:24

Bye.

01:58:25

But what?

01:58:27

But.

01:58:29

But if you can get them together for the threesome,

01:58:33

then you're not going to complain.

01:58:36

Oh, I can't.

01:58:38

Yeah, but also.

01:58:40

Right.

01:58:40

So let's find them.

01:58:42

I know we should find them.

01:58:43

I'm dubious on the motivation to find them.

01:58:48

Let's find them.

01:58:49

Okay.

01:58:50

Whatever, dude.

01:58:51

Let's find them.

01:58:52

All right.

01:58:52

Hail the junk fort boys in the night they roam at pegs, solving woes with fire and explode.

01:59:02

With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate, explosions mark the hours.

01:59:07

Never late.

01:59:13

Never late.

01:59:21

I'm Tiger and welcome to the Junk Fort boys.

01:59:25

Hi, Tiger.

01:59:29

Hello.

01:59:29

We accept you.

01:59:31

Thank you.

01:59:31

What is that supposed to mean?

01:59:34

That you're accepted.

01:59:35

Jesus.

01:59:36

Yeah, they don't say that at AA or something.

01:59:39

I don't know.

01:59:40

I don't think they do.

01:59:42

Oh.

01:59:44

You're not accepted in AA.

01:59:44

I think they just go, hi, Tiger.

01:59:47

Hello, Junkles.

01:59:48

We see you.

01:59:51

You're...

01:59:51

You exist.

Cocktail Chicken