- Crew of the Kahuna

00:00:00

Hail the Junk Fort Boys, in the night they roam at bay, solving woes with fire and sloat.

00:00:09

With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate, explosions mark the hours never late.

00:00:16

Alright, welcome to the Junk Fort Boys, three gutter snipes who rose from the streets of

00:00:19

Duskfall to a junk fort in the sky, a junk barge in the sewers, and now a junk ship on

00:00:24

the seas, or at least waiting in port.

00:00:27

I am Tiger.

00:00:28

I play Juckles, Jarls, Jarlsander, Juckles Doubleday.

00:00:36

I am a tinkerer with an onion in the guts,

00:00:38

a fixer machine with a knack for the nuts.

00:00:45

Someday I will be able to do my intro without stuttering.

00:00:49

Your middle name is Juckles?

00:00:52

No, no, no, no, no.

00:00:55

Juckles is short for Jarlsander.

00:00:59

both have silent D's in them

00:01:02

isn't the point of

00:01:03

it being short like it's shorter

00:01:07

Charles Xander

00:01:08

Juckles is shorter than Charles Xander

00:01:10

that's my fun fact for this week

00:01:14

Juckles is shorter

00:01:16

than Charles Xander

00:01:17

excellent

00:01:18

yes

00:01:20

the fact

00:01:22

a fun fact about Juckles

00:01:24

is that once in kindergarten

00:01:26

a young girl complimented his shoelaces

00:01:30

and he thought he liked her.

00:01:31

So he followed her around for most of the trimester.

00:01:38

Creepy.

00:01:39

Yeah, and then he dropped out.

00:01:41

Is this a confession?

00:01:43

After kindergarten?

00:01:46

Can charges be pressed?

00:01:47

Yep.

00:01:48

Were charges pressed?

00:01:50

I love that your school was in trimesters.

00:01:52

How progressive.

00:01:53

I know.

00:01:56

Imagine how confusing it was for the young lad.

00:02:00

Young lads.

00:02:03

All right.

00:02:04

Wonderful.

00:02:05

Creepy guy.

00:02:06

Hey, no, don't write that.

00:02:09

It's on there.

00:02:11

Write cute shoelaces.

00:02:14

And cute shoelaces.

00:02:16

Thank you.

00:02:20

Okay, I'll go.

00:02:22

My name's Andy.

00:02:23

I play Tarquish Thunder, a.k.a. Squish.

00:02:29

Something with a cauldron, a boom-boom sauce,

00:02:31

and one day I'll get that without trying to think about it.

00:02:37

Squish, in fact, for this week is that, like some people,

00:02:41

he cannot taste cilantro.

00:02:42

Or it's not that he can't taste it.

00:02:43

It tastes like soap to him.

00:02:45

Oh, he's a super taster.

00:02:47

I wouldn't say that.

00:02:51

I don't think those people are super tasters.

00:02:55

just

00:02:57

super people

00:02:58

that messed up gene

00:03:00

Squish is a super person yes

00:03:02

I think they're saying it wrong I think it's

00:03:04

soper people soper tasters

00:03:06

because isn't that what they think cilantro tastes like

00:03:08

soap yeah

00:03:11

soper tasters

00:03:12

that's pretty good I think I'll use that next time

00:03:14

because I am a soper taster

00:03:16

next time when

00:03:18

next time I talk about how

00:03:20

what is this Don I'm a soper

00:03:23

don't you know

00:03:25

I always thought cilantro was supposed to taste like soap

00:03:27

I strictly enjoy

00:03:29

joy

00:03:32

and you also have cilantro tastes like soap

00:03:35

I always

00:03:37

I've always every time

00:03:38

because she used to make it and every now and then

00:03:41

with fish and like I tell her

00:03:43

don't put it on there I don't like cilantro

00:03:45

and I just assumed it was because

00:03:47

it tasted like soap and everyone just liked

00:03:48

the taste of soap

00:03:50

so we're both soaper tasters

00:03:53

so and then she's like

00:03:54

and then she made that comment she's like

00:03:56

oh do you know like 20% of our

00:03:58

whatever people think that

00:04:00

cilantro tastes like soap I'm like

00:04:02

oh

00:04:03

I'm a statistic

00:04:06

40% of our podcast

00:04:08

does

00:04:11

I think it's

00:04:12

50%

00:04:13

yeah Craig doesn't count

00:04:15

we'll have to do a cilantro test on our characters

00:04:18

well Squish already

00:04:20

knows that it tastes like soap to him

00:04:22

oh yeah

00:04:23

but he doesn't know how to use soap either

00:04:27

oh is it even a

00:04:28

so

00:04:29

now that's what she's gonna write down

00:04:31

smelly guy creepy guy

00:04:34

so what he does is he takes cilantro

00:04:36

and uses it like soap

00:04:38

oh so he just smells like cilantro all the time

00:04:42

put a fresh sprig

00:04:44

of parsley in your shoe

00:04:46

and all day long a fresh scent will follow you

00:04:49

no wonder why that

00:04:51

that girl that

00:04:54

chef likes you. What the hell is her name?

00:04:55

Golden Plum Lady.

00:04:57

Isaac Hayes.

00:04:59

Oh, yeah.

00:05:05

All right, Patches, what do you got?

00:05:08

Hello, my name's

00:05:09

Boo, but I play Captain

00:05:12

Connor

00:05:14

McKenzie, also known as

00:05:15

Patches, Captain Patches.

00:05:18

They're Patches

00:05:19

El Budorino, maybe,

00:05:21

if you're the brevity type.

00:05:27

Oh, I came up with one.

00:05:30

I'm the pirate with the penchant for the drink,

00:05:33

whose memories kind of stink.

00:05:38

I don't have a knack for the nuts, though.

00:05:39

I'm sorry.

00:05:42

Me fun fact for this week is,

00:05:44

me mother was a seamstress.

00:05:47

And this has a point.

00:05:49

You know,

00:05:50

She would always make the most beautiful quilts I've ever seen, beautiful stitching, amazing stitching, amazing stitching.

00:05:58

And all of our clothes were made of quilts and stitchings like that.

00:06:03

And she actually was a part of this famous quilt club that was – they'd meet up and they'd talk about their quilting and what they were doing.

00:06:13

They'd stay up at night and, you know, put on their quilt robes and dance on a fire.

00:06:21

And they would, you know, chant.

00:06:25

And, you know, it was very fun.

00:06:26

They were a very, very loud group.

00:06:29

They listened to this one guy.

00:06:31

He was called the Quilt Master.

00:06:34

Also the Supreme Seamstress, the Patrick Messiah.

00:06:41

Anyway.

00:06:44

You grew up in a cult.

00:06:47

Oh.

00:06:50

Well, it could be called a quilt quilt.

00:06:54

A quilt quilt.

00:06:56

Yeah, it was a fun childhood.

00:06:59

She never was at home very much when she went to the quilt camp, as she called it, you know.

00:07:05

Quilt camp.

00:07:07

Quilt camp, yeah, you know.

00:07:09

Is this a confession?

00:07:11

Well, no, I was going to get to a point.

00:07:13

I was going to get to a point, my dear Druggles.

00:07:15

My mother, my dear tiger, my mother made me out of my first frock coat.

00:07:28

Oh.

00:07:29

And it was made out of many, many, many different patches.

00:07:37

So was it mold?

00:07:39

Oh.

00:07:39

Oh, that's so cute.

00:07:43

It was several different colors.

00:07:44

That's why you were called Patchers, not because you were a hobo.

00:07:48

Well, you know, kind of comes with the territory of the name.

00:07:51

You know, you name your kid Clutus.

00:07:57

You know what I'm saying?

00:07:59

Anyway, yeah, she made me my first coat of many colors.

00:08:06

That's it.

00:08:06

Beautiful.

00:08:07

End of story.

00:08:10

uh excellent excellent no questions no follow-up responses whatsoever end of story good day

00:08:22

uh hi i'm bridget i play everyone else and uh you guys might remember from your last soiree uh

00:08:30

Rod Rodney who was the uh the the boys uh the ghost that you redeemed from or cleaned from his

00:08:38

body basically you pulled the ghost out of his soul body which was being zombified uh Rod grew

00:08:44

up in a really like conservative wholesome but very strict kind of um uh household and Rodney

00:08:53

hasn't hasn't been back to see his family in a while it's kind of while he was crazy

00:08:57

in university and why he kind of ran with a bad crowd.

00:09:00

You know, kids who are like super strict kind of let loose in university.

00:09:04

Anyway, he misses his twin brother, Todney.

00:09:08

Oh, Rodney and Todney.

00:09:11

Rodney and Todney.

00:09:12

Was his brother one of the zombies?

00:09:15

No, his brother is not one of the zombies.

00:09:17

So his brother is still alive.

00:09:19

Oh, wow.

00:09:20

He's out there and he's going to want revenge.

00:09:26

Who would they go against?

00:09:31

I saved him from being a zombie.

00:09:34

For shooting him dead in a butthole and then...

00:09:39

Shooting him in the butt dead.

00:09:40

You're the only man in this.

00:09:42

This is the only game in all of our games.

00:09:44

You've both headshot and buttshot a guy in perfect accuracy.

00:09:48

That's shooting from A to Z.

00:09:50

Yeah.

00:09:52

Getting it in both ends.

00:09:54

You did the compliment shot.

00:09:56

Holy shit.

00:10:01

Top to bottom.

00:10:02

You're a monster.

00:10:04

And this was a boy. He had his whole life ahead of him.

00:10:07

He did. He was a university student.

00:10:09

Well, he still has

00:10:11

a lot more life ahead of him.

00:10:12

More life ahead of him.

00:10:16

So I just put the newspaper

00:10:17

in the chat.

00:10:19

The Lockport legend.

00:10:21

Memories of the past.

00:10:23

Tam Mazarin's madness, lad.

00:10:25

Our crew was trapped.

00:10:26

Chuckles and Squish faced slow-moving zombies, formerly bullies that Squish shot in the butt.

00:10:31

Patches unwillingly assisted Tam Mazaran, who said he was creating a cure.

00:10:35

In reality, Mazaran recognized the drunk crew and had been told by a mysterious she to kill them.

00:10:40

His cure turned the slow zombies into fast, aggressive zombies.

00:10:45

Patches was able to reach one of the boy's souls and turn him to their side.

00:10:49

Chuckles threw a flying elbow and then a gnarly judo chop.

00:10:52

Squish struggled to get a good shot off, but managed at the last minute to turn the tides of the fight.

00:10:56

Tam Mazarin managed to escape.

00:10:59

A classic sitcom situation.

00:11:02

The crew, now with their boy soul Rodney, left the university.

00:11:05

They met Evelyn outside the gate, who was surprised to see them in one piece.

00:11:08

She alerted their plans to infiltrate the Lockport Garden Party and invited herself as Chuckles' date.

00:11:14

Back on the ship, a message was waiting for Chuckles.

00:11:16

Lady Highhill, his long-lost girlfriend and Squish's secret crush, was planning on visiting Lockport

00:11:20

and planned on attending the Lockport Garden Party.

00:11:23

The boys now have to dress to impress.

00:11:25

Will they spend time gaining information

00:11:26

on the Lockport Garden Party?

00:11:28

Will they track down Tam Mazaran?

00:11:29

Will this be the shopping episode?

00:11:32

Yes.

00:11:34

Yes.

00:11:37

Shopping.

00:11:38

Shopping.

00:11:41

Tough boys.

00:11:43

And that's where you guys land.

00:11:44

So, yes.

00:11:47

Chuckles, you are on deck holding

00:11:49

both the invitation to the Lockport Garden Party,

00:11:51

which you promised, somewhat promised,

00:11:53

but kind of agreed to meet Evelyn and go there with her,

00:11:56

or she's going to go with you guys.

00:11:58

And then you also have the bottle in your other hand

00:12:01

with Lady High Hills message in it

00:12:03

that she is visiting Lockport

00:12:05

and will be attending the Lockport Garden Party

00:12:07

and plans on bringing you as her date.

00:12:13

Yes, this cannot go wrong.

00:12:17

Juckles, finally going to get lucky.

00:12:21

are extremely unlucky.

00:12:24

What's your plan here, lad?

00:12:27

I feel like I've got a 50-50 shot.

00:12:31

Well, yeah, there's two women.

00:12:32

And 50-50 plus 50-50 is 100-100.

00:12:37

That's math.

00:12:39

I don't know science or math, but that's math if I've ever heard of it.

00:12:42

Irrefutable.

00:12:43

Irrefutable.

00:12:44

It adds up, if you will.

00:12:47

Exactly.

00:12:48

Before I forget too, sorry, we also have XP.

00:12:52

So this is from like the last three sessions, downtime and then the two episodes prior.

00:12:56

Oh, I better write this down.

00:12:58

And I have by request actually remembered to write down what these things are for.

00:13:02

So, Chuckles, you have 10 XP points.

00:13:07

Two survey and receiving an interdimensional hat.

00:13:11

One damn good milk steak.

00:13:12

Two for shimmying.

00:13:14

One Scooby-Doo jump.

00:13:15

One squirrel jump.

00:13:16

And three karate chops.

00:13:19

Squish, you have...

00:13:19

When you say it that way, I sound like a chihuahua.

00:13:24

Especially with the karate chops at the end.

00:13:26

Yes, they're always doing that, chihuahuas.

00:13:30

Squish, you have seven points.

00:13:31

Two for skulking, one for survey, one for finessing, bush league,

00:13:35

one rolling desk, one prowl, one survey.

00:13:39

Patches, you have five XP points.

00:13:41

One drink survey, one streaker, one bush league, and two rec.

00:13:48

cool

00:13:52

so obviously with your XP

00:13:53

you can upgrade

00:13:55

give yourself an ability

00:13:58

you can kind of pick from any

00:13:59

I think at this point you guys are

00:14:01

you know don't have to just stick with your class if you want to multi-class

00:14:03

I suppose but you can also add

00:14:05

something to one of your

00:14:08

mechanics like hunt

00:14:10

attune, consort, sway

00:14:12

whatever and we don't have to do that now

00:14:14

in my

00:14:16

I must have something to do with the certificate

00:14:18

I can't see how many I have

00:14:20

okay

00:14:21

I can look for you

00:14:23

I can share my screen too

00:14:25

even the stress and the trauma

00:14:27

little things are gone

00:14:29

okay

00:14:35

alright you see that

00:14:38

watch the screen

00:14:41

see my screen

00:14:42

oh look at that

00:14:43

It says here you're a little bitch boy.

00:14:47

Oh my god.

00:14:51

I don't know where your XP actually is on this.

00:14:53

Oh, it must be up here somewhere.

00:14:55

I think it's next to like abilities.

00:14:57

I think there's one.

00:14:59

Yeah.

00:15:00

But yeah, it doesn't show it.

00:15:01

Oh yeah, I can see like where you can click on it here.

00:15:03

Okay, is that everybody's then?

00:15:06

Yeah.

00:15:07

Okay.

00:15:08

Well, so we'll just look at it, you know.

00:15:11

We can still see your harm.

00:15:13

You guys still have some of you have some harm.

00:15:18

But maybe just do that for next time.

00:15:20

Look at it and apply your points.

00:15:22

Yeah, I made a note.

00:15:25

Yeah, and I'll put that in the Discord too,

00:15:28

everyone's point count.

00:15:29

Oh, good idea.

00:15:31

So you can look at it later.

00:15:32

Knocked me organs.

00:15:33

Oh, I still have glass in my feet.

00:15:36

You've just been walking around with glassy feet.

00:15:38

I have a twisted ankle from an awesome kick.

00:15:43

Is that when you tried to kick with two legs at once?

00:15:46

That sounds like an awesome kick, so it must be.

00:15:51

Irrefutable.

00:15:52

Irrefutable.

00:15:56

Okay, yeah, so this is your time between events.

00:16:01

You have an invitation to the Lockport Garden Party that is going to commence in a few days' time.

00:16:06

You guys have decided you're going to spend this time doing what?

00:16:11

does it say dress code

00:16:14

it's

00:16:16

yes

00:16:16

garden clothes

00:16:19

yeah garden party formal

00:16:22

oh formal

00:16:23

so not like overalls

00:16:26

no

00:16:26

didn't we just get a super formal

00:16:28

for our date

00:16:32

yeah was that formal

00:16:33

I don't remember what I was wearing

00:16:35

so

00:16:39

Squish

00:16:40

a Jamiro Koi green hat.

00:16:45

You, Patches, had,

00:16:47

you found a hat in the captain's wardrobe.

00:16:49

I think just a tricorder hat that you put on it.

00:16:53

So we just got hats.

00:16:55

So we went through his closet and just took hats.

00:16:59

Yeah, and Chuckles found an interdimensional hat

00:17:01

with many sides.

00:17:03

So we're going on a date,

00:17:04

and we're like, oh, we better dress up.

00:17:05

Let's go into the captain's closet.

00:17:07

And all we took was hats.

00:17:09

That is the most boy thing ever.

00:17:11

Like we're going on a date.

00:17:15

We're just lucky they didn't have denim jackets in there.

00:17:18

Right, or their dad's puffy vests, working vests.

00:17:24

Yeah, or yeah, a denim frock.

00:17:27

Oh, my goodness.

00:17:32

Yes.

00:17:33

So on the invitation, it does give you the name of the, you know, the location.

00:17:39

it is in a

00:17:41

you don't know Lockport very well

00:17:43

but just from your

00:17:45

time here you've been able to determine

00:17:47

that it is in a very nice part of town

00:17:49

this is like a mansion

00:17:53

so you know it's going to be fancy

00:17:56

and it's at night

00:17:59

in the evening

00:18:00

so we got to wear evening clothes

00:18:03

a tux perhaps

00:18:05

a denim tux

00:18:07

so we got to rob a tailor shop

00:18:08

Or buy from a tailor shop.

00:18:12

Steal a shop.

00:18:13

Sure.

00:18:16

You guys want to open up a tailor shop business?

00:18:19

No.

00:18:20

No, I'm done opening businesses.

00:18:23

Squish, what are you thinking?

00:18:27

Yeah, probably should.

00:18:29

Could you trust him for it?

00:18:32

Well, at least kidnap him.

00:18:34

Ransom him?

00:18:36

That's our squish.

00:18:40

Do we have money

00:18:41

to buy

00:18:43

clothes? I'm unclear

00:18:45

how much money because the

00:18:47

coin is so low.

00:18:51

Yeah, well, my hat cost me three.

00:18:53

Yeah. You paid three coins?

00:18:55

I think you paid four coins for like an

00:18:57

entire restaurant once.

00:19:00

The money

00:19:01

here is very inconsistent.

00:19:03

The economy's gone really

00:19:05

up and down.

00:19:06

Well, all over the world, this could be, you know, this is Locked Ford.

00:19:09

There's not quality.

00:19:10

Oh, true.

00:19:10

There's an exchange rate.

00:19:11

Currency exchange rate.

00:19:12

Yeah, exactly.

00:19:15

You know.

00:19:17

Think how far the dollar goes, you know, in foreign countries.

00:19:22

That's true.

00:19:23

Not as far as it used to.

00:19:27

Thanks, Biden.

00:19:27

But we'll get back to God.

00:19:28

Bye, God damn it.

00:19:28

We'll do it again.

00:19:30

We'll do it live.

00:19:32

Biden inflation.

00:19:34

All right.

00:19:34

We'll crash this economy better than in 1929.

00:19:37

We'll do it, by God.

00:19:39

Again.

00:19:41

Because everyone knows once you crash, you burn.

00:19:44

We're going to make the great market crash look like a goddamn stumble.

00:19:49

All right.

00:19:52

Okay.

00:19:53

This got really economic.

00:19:55

So to answer your question, yes, you do have some coin.

00:19:59

Currently, it's invisible.

00:20:02

let's just say

00:20:04

you have enough to purchase

00:20:07

some form of evening wear.

00:20:08

Now, the quality

00:20:10

might be questionable.

00:20:11

So we don't have to kill anyone unless we really want to.

00:20:15

Hey, that's for you guys to decide.

00:20:16

Well, we can break into places.

00:20:18

That's true.

00:20:20

We can plan a

00:20:22

heist.

00:20:23

A Taylor heist.

00:20:25

We could heist some tux.

00:20:27

A Taylor heist. I like it.

00:20:29

Yes, we could

00:20:30

the local men's warehouse.

00:20:33

Right, exactly.

00:20:34

And we will steal their suits.

00:20:38

We'll call it Operation Dry Cleaning.

00:20:42

Because we're cleaning them out.

00:20:46

And we're going to stay dry.

00:20:48

Operation Dry Cleaning.

00:20:50

Speak for yourself.

00:20:52

Well, the weather's pretty nice.

00:20:54

I'm not talking about the weather.

00:20:57

I'm talking downtown.

00:20:59

Oh, my stars.

00:21:05

Good gracious.

00:21:09

All right, well, we're going to heist.

00:21:10

Bridget, you heard it here.

00:21:12

We're going to heist this tailor shop.

00:21:13

You're heisting.

00:21:14

You're heisting.

00:21:16

Yeah, so while you've been walking, because you guys have had time to kind of wander,

00:21:24

a specific tailor shop has caught your eyes.

00:21:27

It's called TailorMade.

00:21:29

and you've seen quite a few of them.

00:21:31

They seem to be some sort of franchise

00:21:34

but there's enough of them around the city

00:21:36

and there's one in particular

00:21:38

that has caught your attention.

00:21:41

Can I survey the people walking in and out?

00:21:46

Yes.

00:21:48

Can you roll?

00:21:51

Probably.

00:21:52

Let's see.

00:21:52

Yeah, I think so.

00:21:54

Okay, I just want to make sure

00:21:55

otherwise I can load you

00:21:56

and share my screen and do it for you.

00:21:57

What am I rolling?

00:21:59

Oh, I'm rolling survey.

00:22:01

Yeah, you're rolling survey.

00:22:02

I see the types of people walking in and out of this place.

00:22:06

Yeah.

00:22:18

I got the picture for this one.

00:22:22

Yeah, that's why I was curious because this is like the only...

00:22:25

I didn't...

00:22:26

That's why I really wanted you guys to go to the tailor shop.

00:22:29

I really needed you to see it.

00:22:30

That's why I supplanted it in your mind by showing it to you.

00:22:33

You guys went to the tailor shop?

00:22:34

We weren't going here.

00:22:36

What?

00:22:37

I can't believe she knew we were going to go here.

00:22:40

You did talk about it last time, too,

00:22:42

about how excited you guys were to go get touches.

00:22:46

Okay, so Chuckles, what kind of people are you hoping to see

00:22:49

walking in and out of this room?

00:22:51

Oh, I want to see how fancy they are.

00:22:52

Are these old money people?

00:22:54

Are they new money people?

00:22:56

Are they, you know, what kind of taste do they have?

00:23:00

Is this a well repute place?

00:23:02

Is this getting it on the cheap?

00:23:03

Is it a men's warehouse or is it a Joseph A. Bank is what I want to know.

00:23:08

Okay.

00:23:09

So at first you guys think, oh, wow, this is kind of a dump spill.

00:23:15

Because you see people go in and they're actually coming out with like almost like worse clothing than they started with.

00:23:22

And you're kind of confused staring out by this.

00:23:26

And I'm assuming you're being very innocuous by standing across the street and just staring right at them as they're walking in and out.

00:23:33

Or are you trying to hide a little bit?

00:23:36

No, I mean, I'm trying in my Juckles way and using these brass opera spectacles from across the way behind a light post.

00:23:46

Yes.

00:23:47

Trying to look across and not in the windows per se, but just the sorts of people walking in and out.

00:23:52

Are they families?

00:23:52

Are they men?

00:23:53

Are they divorcees?

00:23:56

So it seems like it's mostly like either single people or people in small groups.

00:24:01

But you notice like the first few people that go in, they come out and they look like they're almost wearing like rags or something.

00:24:07

Like something almost like a mummy or something.

00:24:11

And it really throws you off.

00:24:12

And then you see a bunch of women go in, like a group of two or three women, and they come out with just like the most ridiculous wigs and like giant dresses.

00:24:22

And then you see someone come in and, you know, they come out a few minutes later dressed as a cowboy.

00:24:29

TaylorMade is a costume shop that.

00:24:32

Boys, I think this is a costume shop.

00:24:36

Do you have tuxes?

00:24:38

I haven't seen anyone walk out in tuxes.

00:24:40

I've seen someone walk out as a mummy.

00:24:42

Another one as a cat from the musical Cats.

00:24:47

Did you see anyone walk in with a tuxedo and out with anything else?

00:24:52

Were the cats wearing suits?

00:24:55

No, they didn't walk in as a cat.

00:24:56

They walked in as just, you know, they were normal, I guess.

00:25:01

And then they came out in a cat suit from the musical Cats.

00:25:07

Bought whole edition or no?

00:25:09

They didn't turn around.

00:25:11

Don't give me a target.

00:25:13

He starts licking his lips.

00:25:15

Hide your butts.

00:25:16

Everyone come to your butts.

00:25:19

He's polishing my gun.

00:25:22

He's just stroking his rifle.

00:25:25

The people walking into the store are dressed very nicely.

00:25:28

I wouldn't say they're tuxes, but they are dressed very finely.

00:25:32

Oh, I see.

00:25:32

And these costumes that are coming out are,

00:25:36

even the mummy ones, they're pretty elaborate.

00:25:39

They look pretty good.

00:25:42

so this is a high end

00:25:43

costume shop

00:25:45

does the invite say fancy dress

00:25:48

because I've heard that means something else

00:25:51

it does not say fancy dress

00:25:53

okay

00:25:55

it does say Sunday best

00:25:58

alright so

00:25:59

guys I got a plan for our heist

00:26:01

for operation dry cleaning

00:26:03

does it involve ghosts

00:26:05

it can't

00:26:06

or fire

00:26:07

there are no bad ideas

00:26:10

no no no go ahead go ahead that i'm just i'm just really excited to be a part of this

00:26:15

i got two things i got ghosts and i got fire and i got the drink and i don't know if you want me to

00:26:21

that uh well i can't stop you from doing that

00:26:29

well guys i know i got a plan these people these people they are going in in fancy dress i mean

00:26:38

fancy clothes and coming out in costumes.

00:26:42

But where are their fancy clothes going?

00:26:45

So what you're suggesting is we got to go in in costumes and come out in

00:26:49

their fancy dress.

00:26:50

Some might say we are in costume.

00:26:52

I mean, you're wearing a pirate costume.

00:26:56

Squish is wearing a demon costume.

00:26:58

And I'm dressed as a banker.

00:27:01

Go ahead.

00:27:01

Tell us about it.

00:27:02

A banker?

00:27:03

A banker?

00:27:08

Right?

00:27:08

I was about to say, what the hell are you supposed to be?

00:27:15

I fully admit I'm a pirate stereotype, but I have no idea what you are, Juggles.

00:27:21

Wee man.

00:27:23

I'm dressed as a man of my time.

00:27:25

You're dressed as Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

00:27:29

You don't know who that is.

00:27:32

He's not here.

00:27:35

I do think your character is Charlie Day combined with Tina from Bob's Burger.

00:27:39

I don't know why I just hear it

00:27:41

Because I'm into butts?

00:27:42

Or is it my voice?

00:27:44

Because of your voice

00:27:46

Well that's rude

00:27:48

End of friendship

00:27:50

A lot of butt talk here

00:27:54

There's the butt obsessed one

00:27:56

Hey last season was nuts

00:27:58

This time's butts

00:28:00

Yeah nuts to butts

00:28:01

Nuts to butts

00:28:03

I mean it really started with guts

00:28:05

Because of the gut punch

00:28:06

From guts to nuts to butts

00:28:08

onions in the guts with a knack for the nuts.

00:28:10

And he's got a knack for the butts.

00:28:12

So, I mean, you just mentioned butts.

00:28:14

He started stroking his rifle.

00:28:19

All right.

00:28:20

Well, what's your plan?

00:28:21

Go in and steal clothes from the rich people?

00:28:24

I'm hearing.

00:28:24

We go in in costume.

00:28:26

All right.

00:28:26

I see that maybe I will need a costume.

00:28:29

I would like one, too.

00:28:31

You are a costume.

00:28:33

What happens to our clothes, then?

00:28:36

Doesn't matter.

00:28:37

We're naked from now on if we're not in fancy clothes.

00:28:40

It's the naked time.

00:28:41

No, but really.

00:28:42

Are you worried about someone stealing your clothes?

00:28:44

My frock.

00:28:45

It's got my best.

00:28:46

It's where I live, man.

00:28:49

True.

00:28:50

It's got all my things in it.

00:28:53

Mostly my alcohol.

00:28:55

I guess we'll have to come back for that.

00:28:56

Maybe we'll throw it out the window.

00:28:58

Do you think they'll have a ticket?

00:29:00

Do we wait for them to throw it out?

00:29:04

You think they're going to throw out my clothes?

00:29:07

What if I just wore my clothes

00:29:09

They might burn yours

00:29:11

What if I just wore my clothes underneath the fancy clothes

00:29:14

Like Superman

00:29:16

Yeah no we just need

00:29:17

We just need the costumes to get in

00:29:19

We're gonna go in as if we're gonna take back these costumes

00:29:22

We're gonna return them

00:29:24

Right

00:29:25

As a costume store

00:29:26

Wait wait wait why don't I just go rob the cat man

00:29:31

What like give me your old clothes

00:29:33

Give me your cat

00:29:36

Outfit

00:29:39

Alright.

00:29:41

Didn't you just say like three people just walked out, right?

00:29:43

Yeah.

00:29:44

But were they dressed up as there was a cat

00:29:47

from a cat concert?

00:29:48

There was a mummy. And what was the third one?

00:29:50

Did you just call it a cat concert?

00:29:55

Yes.

00:29:56

He was a cat from the cat concert.

00:29:58

Everybody knows what that is.

00:30:00

The cat academy.

00:30:02

Yes, cat academy.

00:30:03

Three, which was the best cat academy.

00:30:06

It was a cat, mommy, and what else?

00:30:08

Banker?

00:30:10

No, I'm the banker.

00:30:11

What was the third one?

00:30:12

There was a third one.

00:30:13

What was they?

00:30:17

It was definitely, there's never been a cat.

00:30:19

There was a werewolf, I think,

00:30:21

and women in fancy dresses.

00:30:25

I did say cat.

00:30:27

I don't know if there was actually a cat.

00:30:31

I just assume it's a werewolf, a mommy, and a cat.

00:30:34

A flapper?

00:30:35

A cat from the musical Cats.

00:30:39

Yeah.

00:30:39

Cat Academy 3.

00:30:42

And a mummy.

00:30:44

And a mummy.

00:30:46

All right, all right.

00:30:47

Who wants the cat?

00:30:49

Oh, shit.

00:30:51

Let's go rob these guys and take their costumes and go in there.

00:30:55

You need a costume anyway because, you know,

00:30:57

no one's going to believe they're returning a banker costume.

00:31:00

Hold on a second.

00:31:01

This play is way too convoluted.

00:31:05

So we're going to beat these people up, take their costume,

00:31:09

to go in and take somebody else's clothes.

00:31:13

Yes, we're stealing their identities.

00:31:15

I guess at this point, it's just a shop.

00:31:18

It's public, right?

00:31:19

It's the door and lock.

00:31:20

We can just walk in.

00:31:22

Yeah.

00:31:22

Why don't we just go to like an actual shop that has suits?

00:31:29

All right.

00:31:29

Pull up a different tailor.

00:31:33

Gotta go back to Chachi Media and get a set of a tailor.

00:31:39

Your tailor shop's out.

00:31:42

Damn it, squish, when you're right, you're right.

00:31:43

I hope you didn't like it.

00:31:48

You wander through the city giving up your beliefs on the tailor-made costume shop.

00:31:56

And instead, you find your way down a quiet street to a little tailor shop.

00:32:04

It's smaller than before.

00:32:06

It doesn't have, like, the aisles and, you know, shelving of clothing.

00:32:10

But it's modest.

00:32:11

It looks like there's one guy kind of working it.

00:32:15

You can see him through the window.

00:32:17

But there are suits on the walls.

00:32:19

There is fabric.

00:32:20

There is, like, hats and things.

00:32:23

This is a full service.

00:32:26

shock.

00:32:28

Is the guy old?

00:32:31

He is

00:32:32

Italian.

00:32:34

Which means he's very old,

00:32:36

even if he's only 12.

00:32:40

No, he's

00:32:42

older, like definitely

00:32:44

middle-aged or older,

00:32:46

but he's not like a young guy, but he's not

00:32:48

like a decrepit grandpa either.

00:32:50

He's kind of...

00:32:52

No kneecap breaks.

00:32:54

uh no and he's kind of a shorter guy bald head mustache um you know he's just kind of

00:33:01

moving around his shop looks like he's you know sewing shit we were still observing from across

00:33:09

the street with opera glasses yes with the opera glasses never been to the opera but you got the

00:33:14

glasses no yeah now you'd be surprised when people throw out all right so i'm gonna steal

00:33:20

the tailor's clothes, what are you going to do?

00:33:24

I'm going to be a tailor

00:33:24

coming out of this costume shop.

00:33:26

Wait. Let's scope it out

00:33:29

first. I want to be a tailor.

00:33:30

I told you. That's my costume.

00:33:32

It's not a costume party.

00:33:34

Oh. What are we doing?

00:33:39

There's a very simple plan.

00:33:40

We just need it.

00:33:42

We need a tuxedo.

00:33:44

Or a suit.

00:33:45

If I was a tailor, I could give us the tuxedos.

00:33:51

he's got you there

00:33:52

yeah if he was a tailor he could make us a tuxedo

00:33:55

yes

00:33:57

but you can't just beat up the tailor

00:33:59

and then become a tailor it's not the Santa Claus

00:34:06

well what I'm saying is

00:34:11

what I'm saying is

00:34:13

I'll become the tailor

00:34:15

I'll own that shop and I'll give us all tuxedos

00:34:17

half off. You'll beat up the tailor,

00:34:20

steal his shops, and over the course of 20 years,

00:34:21

you'll learn how to tailor, and then

00:34:24

you will make us the finest suits.

00:34:26

You said you wanted a fitted

00:34:28

suit, because that sounds pretty hoity-toity.

00:34:31

No, I was just going to steal

00:34:32

from his stock and give it to us.

00:34:35

Yeah, I don't

00:34:36

need it to be.

00:34:38

Steal from the stitch to give to the poor.

00:34:40

Yeah, I can wear off the rack.

00:34:42

Although I am an odd size

00:34:43

for an adult human man.

00:34:45

We'll just cut off the ankles.

00:34:50

Okay.

00:34:51

We'll give you some real nice khaki jorts.

00:34:55

Are we gathering any sort of attention sitting here bickering across the street

00:34:59

about how we're going to beat up the man inside the building?

00:35:01

I assume every time we've been doing this,

00:35:03

we're just hiding behind like a fruit cart.

00:35:06

That's exactly like one of those fruit carts in the movies that take place in the 20s.

00:35:12

Yeah, like we're just hiding behind sitting down on the other side of the street.

00:35:15

I don't know where the fruit master's at, but I'm sure he's somewhere.

00:35:19

He comes down out of the most recent pub for the newspaper, understand,

00:35:23

and just like mid-sentence, while you guys are arguing,

00:35:26

just picks up his cart and like rolls it along, revealing you.

00:35:30

No, you are not.

00:35:31

But we don't notice, right?

00:35:33

No, no, you continue your conversation just as not so quietly as before.

00:35:37

No, you guys, this is a pretty quiet street.

00:35:39

Like there are still people out, and you're probably getting a few odd looks,

00:35:42

but nobody's like really listening to you.

00:35:44

It's one of those things where it's like nobody really just is paying attention.

00:35:48

All right, Squish, go in there.

00:35:50

You lead the way.

00:35:52

All right.

00:35:53

And then I just stroll into the tailor shop.

00:35:56

Yeah, as you stroll in, there's a little bell that comes overhead.

00:36:00

And you walk in.

00:36:01

And, yeah, the shop looks like it's maybe converted from somebody's house at some point.

00:36:06

Because it's kind of small, kind of cozy.

00:36:08

The man in the corner turns and he sees you and he goes,

00:36:12

Gentlemen, how can I assist you today?

00:36:16

We need suits.

00:36:18

Oh, suits?

00:36:19

For what occasion?

00:36:21

The garden party.

00:36:22

Don't tell him.

00:36:25

Tell him a lie.

00:36:27

And he kind of stops as you say that.

00:36:29

And he's like,

00:36:31

It'd be secret.

00:36:34

What?

00:36:34

It's a garden party.

00:36:37

You know that call?

00:36:40

We're going to the garden party.

00:36:41

We'll go to the cult party.

00:36:43

I mean, the garden party.

00:36:44

Yeah, okay, we're going to the garden party.

00:36:47

And we need fancy dress.

00:36:49

Tuxedos.

00:36:51

Pirate colored, if you have any.

00:36:54

We'll get back to that.

00:36:55

How lovely.

00:36:56

I've often, you know, me and the missus have often talked about trying to see her tickets to the Lockport Garden Party.

00:37:02

It's quite the event of the year.

00:37:05

Yeah.

00:37:05

Do you want to buy three?

00:37:08

What?

00:37:09

Do you want to buy three tickets?

00:37:12

I would only need two.

00:37:13

Do you have them for sale?

00:37:16

You only get three.

00:37:19

Three or nothing.

00:37:21

Yeah.

00:37:21

You have to buy the third one.

00:37:23

I suppose we could take my dear mother.

00:37:26

She might quite enjoy an evening out at the party.

00:37:31

Five coin each.

00:37:34

Well, that's a bit steep, I suppose.

00:37:36

That's almost one and a half hats.

00:37:38

What?

00:37:39

Almost.

00:37:40

is that how currency works in this world

00:37:42

is my hat

00:37:44

I mean a lot of currency

00:37:46

you know I

00:37:47

you know I don't really do this sort of scalping thing

00:37:50

you know with the fees

00:37:52

and then later it's not the seats aren't quite

00:37:54

what you thought they were

00:37:55

some kind of chicken

00:37:57

there's no seats

00:37:59

do you want to go

00:38:01

do you want to impress your wife

00:38:04

let me ask you

00:38:04

what's your home life like

00:38:07

I love to work

00:38:10

Yeah, but you've been with your wife a long time.

00:38:13

I'm sure you look like a man who really, really loves his wife.

00:38:16

But let's be honest.

00:38:18

It's monotonous, right, life?

00:38:25

I'm going to take a wild guess here.

00:38:27

I'm guessing maybe your wife doesn't respect you as much as she used to.

00:38:32

Sounded like she wants to go to this garden party.

00:38:36

Now you have an opportunity.

00:38:38

Now we're trying to save your marriage.

00:38:42

So far this plot has gotten way more convoluted than just robbing the costume people.

00:38:48

Right, right.

00:38:49

Because we did have a way to get in the front door.

00:38:50

All we had to do was simply buy a suit, which at the beginning, Bridget said so graciously,

00:38:56

you have enough money to buy a suit.

00:38:59

And so, yeah, now here we are trying to sell our only way into the garden party.

00:39:05

Yeah, but hear me out.

00:39:06

Hear me out.

00:39:07

We only need two tickets.

00:39:12

You only have one.

00:39:16

You only have one ticket.

00:39:17

You found one ticket in his desk.

00:39:20

No.

00:39:24

That can't be right.

00:39:26

I don't want to derail your plan,

00:39:28

but my next question was going to be,

00:39:31

let me see them tickets.

00:39:32

Oh, you only have one?

00:39:34

No, no.

00:39:35

I was going to write one ticket.

00:39:37

I can't forge one real quick.

00:39:39

Give me a piece of paper.

00:39:40

Give me a piece of paper and an exception roll, please.

00:39:44

A tinker.

00:39:45

You want to tinker a forgery, go for it.

00:39:48

I'm all for it.

00:39:49

I just want to be clear.

00:39:52

You only have one ticket and you're in victory.

00:39:56

You picked a weird time to tell us this.

00:40:00

I didn't think, you know, you go from,

00:40:03

I'm going to beat up this guy so I can walk into a costume shop,

00:40:06

which is open to the public, you could just go into.

00:40:10

I'm going to beat up this guy and nag him real bad.

00:40:13

I don't appreciate your tone.

00:40:15

You're making it sound like we're real stupid.

00:40:18

No, no.

00:40:19

I just want to make sure you knew you only had one ticket

00:40:24

before you tried selling them.

00:40:26

Listen, I'm just trying to close here.

00:40:28

That would have been a lot more funnier.

00:40:30

It would have been a lot more funnier if you just said,

00:40:32

okay, well, you look in your pocket and you remember.

00:40:36

you only have one ticket.

00:40:39

Oh, that's funny stuff.

00:40:41

Anyway, let's kind of try to get him to buy three tickets

00:40:44

and just make up the other two and we'll make profit.

00:40:46

Then we'll beat him up and steal his store.

00:40:48

And then steal the tickets back.

00:40:51

Just, yeah, the old GTA trick.

00:40:53

We need two tickets as well.

00:40:57

Well, actually only one ticket.

00:41:02

Tiger will have the

00:41:04

have a

00:41:05

high hills ticket

00:41:07

it'll be your plus one

00:41:09

oh is there a plus one on these things

00:41:12

yes

00:41:13

oh so we're good

00:41:14

remember I need a plus two

00:41:17

because I've got two ladies

00:41:19

you don't

00:41:20

oh because you're saying Evelyn's already going to be there

00:41:23

yeah you're going to be

00:41:25

the plus one to lady I L

00:41:28

and then

00:41:29

me and Patches will be the one in plus one

00:41:32

for the ticket we found.

00:41:35

Is that how these tickets work?

00:41:37

Two really good friends just going to a garden party.

00:41:42

In tuxedos, right, old man?

00:41:45

Yeah.

00:41:47

Yes, so Lady High Heel did offer to take you as her guest.

00:41:51

She was planning on taking you to the garden party.

00:41:54

She had now idea you had stolen a ticket.

00:41:57

And yes, your ticket you stole from Taz Manoram

00:42:00

is for Taz Mazaran and guests.

00:42:04

oh we have to be

00:42:04

Tam Mazaran

00:42:05

it's what it's addressed to on the outside

00:42:08

oh okay gotcha

00:42:09

we did steal it from a desk

00:42:12

in an office

00:42:14

that was labeled Tam Mazaran

00:42:17

and his madness lab

00:42:20

with his madness lab

00:42:24

brutalized boys

00:42:27

oh

00:42:28

alright so yeah all we need are suits then

00:42:31

and this tailor's money

00:42:34

so you gotta buy these tickets or not old man

00:42:37

well

00:42:39

I mean

00:42:41

you wanna be a loser your whole life

00:42:43

oh my god

00:42:46

salesman tactics go

00:42:48

five coins for three tickets

00:42:50

three genuine tickets

00:42:52

genuine

00:42:54

I said five coin each

00:42:56

genuine

00:42:57

five coin each

00:42:59

Listen, these tickets are going fast

00:43:01

You ain't got time to decide

00:43:03

Well, let me see, let me see them

00:43:09

Chuckles, quick, take her faster than you've ever

00:43:11

Take her in your life

00:43:12

Here's the receipt that I got for this whiskey bottle

00:43:17

Where's the ticket at?

00:43:18

Did we bring it with?

00:43:20

It is in your pockets

00:43:22

I think you found it, Squish, right?

00:43:27

Yeah

00:43:28

and I show them.

00:43:29

So he looks at the real ticket and he goes,

00:43:31

oh, well, this is good for me and my wife,

00:43:36

but what about mother?

00:43:40

You know what, on second thought,

00:43:41

you don't want that third wheel around.

00:43:45

She's really going to be putting a harsh on your moves,

00:43:49

which I'm sure you have.

00:43:51

So one ticket for 10 coins, is that the price?

00:43:56

Yes.

00:43:58

I will offer you eight.

00:44:01

Eight, but we get free tuxedos.

00:44:08

Three tuxedos?

00:44:08

Where are you going?

00:44:10

You can't even go to the garden party.

00:44:11

You don't have a ticket.

00:44:13

Who says I'm going to the garden party anymore?

00:44:15

We're going to a different party, a better party.

00:44:17

All right.

00:44:17

And that's stuck in the garden party.

00:44:20

Who wants a tuxedo in a garden?

00:44:22

Five coin and three suits.

00:44:25

Three tuxedos.

00:44:28

well

00:44:29

you drive quite a hard bargain

00:44:31

but

00:44:33

it is our anniversary and I did

00:44:35

promise her something special this year

00:44:38

not often

00:44:39

you celebrate 17 years

00:44:43

17 years

00:44:44

of marriage

00:44:45

that's not that long

00:44:48

you've had a hard life

00:44:52

you're 50

00:44:55

chuckles

00:44:56

You have to understand, being a tailor is very rigorous work.

00:45:00

You're 45?

00:45:03

There's a lot of dust in the air.

00:45:06

Oh, God.

00:45:06

Taylor's dealing with a lot of chemicals.

00:45:08

I'm sorry.

00:45:09

I'm sorry.

00:45:10

Look at my fingers!

00:45:11

And he holds up his hand and it zooms into the most gnarly looking hands you've ever seen

00:45:16

because he pokes himself constantly with his teeth.

00:45:19

Like a Ren and Stimpy cartoon?

00:45:22

A very uncomfortable close-up.

00:45:26

Alright, alright, alright, alright

00:45:29

Four coins

00:45:31

And three suits

00:45:34

I think we should take this

00:45:35

This is a good deal

00:45:37

Five

00:45:39

Five coins and three suits

00:45:42

Alright, that's it

00:45:43

No, deal's off the table

00:45:45

Give me the ticket bag

00:45:48

I'll take it

00:45:49

Hold on, and he pulls out a little

00:45:51

Measuring tape and he does like quick

00:45:53

studies of you.

00:45:55

And Chuckles, he does you last.

00:45:57

And he noticeably is like...

00:46:00

Impressed.

00:46:01

Hmm.

00:46:02

I guess it's only, you know,

00:46:04

maybe two and a half or so.

00:46:06

I shouldn't take too long.

00:46:08

Yeah, two tuxedos and a child's tuxedo.

00:46:12

Done!

00:46:14

All right, Chuckles.

00:46:15

That was quick.

00:46:16

Make a copy of this really quick.

00:46:18

For what?

00:46:21

Because we need a copy

00:46:23

in this guy.

00:46:25

We need a forgery. The real one goes with us.

00:46:27

Squish.

00:46:30

Why do we

00:46:31

sell our ticket?

00:46:33

We need the ticket to get in.

00:46:35

Because we were going to have you tinker

00:46:37

a forgery.

00:46:39

Maybe we should have made sure that...

00:46:41

That's just not my plan. I was just yelling

00:46:43

at the man. We got in the zone. You know I love to

00:46:45

sell?

00:46:48

The plan was you were going

00:46:49

to tinker using this

00:46:51

bottled receipt that I have.

00:46:52

That's in my pocket.

00:46:54

You're going to tinker us a nice forgery of the ticket

00:46:56

and give it to this nice man.

00:46:58

Yes.

00:46:59

He's going to have his anniversary kind of...

00:47:01

All right.

00:47:02

I can't say I fully understand this plan,

00:47:05

but yeah, I'll start working on this forgery.

00:47:09

Forge it.

00:47:14

Should I roll for that, Bridget?

00:47:16

Yeah, you got to roll your tinker for forging.

00:47:19

Push yourself.

00:47:20

Make sure it works.

00:47:22

What you're tinkering at.

00:47:24

Jesus Christ.

00:47:25

It's not even.

00:47:26

You pull out.

00:47:28

It's like just seconds.

00:47:30

Like clearly you must have been working on it longer.

00:47:32

Because you're like, all right, I don't.

00:47:33

This is dumb.

00:47:34

And you're just.

00:47:35

And you pull out a near perfect copy.

00:47:38

Not even a perfect copy.

00:47:39

It looks better than your own invitation.

00:47:42

Nice.

00:47:42

And you hand it off.

00:47:45

And the tailor looks at it and goes, are these linen edges?

00:47:51

And have these been cross-cut?

00:47:54

It's invitation, so...

00:47:55

The calligraphy!

00:47:57

The gold lettering!

00:47:59

This is a gift in and of itself!

00:48:02

You're welcome.

00:48:03

I have a loop in my eye, and I'm covered in graphite.

00:48:09

I can't believe it!

00:48:11

I mean, thank you!

00:48:13

I just...

00:48:14

Wow!

00:48:15

My wife...

00:48:16

Oh, Hortense is going to be so proud of me, so pleased she will be of me.

00:48:22

She sounds like a wonderful woman

00:48:24

A real whore

00:48:26

Five point and suits now please

00:48:29

Wait do we know which one we gave him?

00:48:31

Did we get confused after we made the

00:48:34

No you did not

00:48:36

Does he know that we forged it?

00:48:38

He does not know right

00:48:39

We're not going to have any repercussions for this right?

00:48:42

No not at all

00:48:43

Sure nothing bad will ever happen

00:48:45

Nothing bad will ever happen at all

00:48:51

Maybe I should make more invitations.

00:48:53

Maybe this should be our gig now.

00:48:55

Forgery or invitations?

00:48:56

Yes.

00:48:57

In both.

00:49:00

Forgery or various invitations.

00:49:02

We'll go to parties all over town.

00:49:04

You're just going to start giving fake IDs to kids.

00:49:06

That is a great business opportunity.

00:49:11

The tailor disappears into the closet

00:49:13

and comes back carrying just bundles and bundles

00:49:16

of fabric on these long

00:49:18

bolts, bolts of fabric.

00:49:20

And he lays it down and he goes,

00:49:21

so, the suit, the style?

00:49:23

Tell me, material, color? What are you guys

00:49:26

looking for? Garden parties

00:49:28

tend to be quite festive. May I

00:49:30

suggest a butter yellow linen?

00:49:32

Butter yellow?

00:49:34

And he pulls out like a

00:49:36

pale yellow and like starts holding

00:49:38

it up to your faces, like trying

00:49:40

to see if it matches and goes,

00:49:42

what about this, sir? A fine

00:49:44

brocade. And he pulls out like a

00:49:46

magenta with electric

00:49:48

blue stitching in it,

00:49:50

the silver brocade, and holds it up

00:49:52

and goes, very fine in the sunlight.

00:49:54

See how it sparkles?

00:49:56

By the light of the

00:49:58

garden party, it might really

00:50:00

woo the ladies, catch their eye.

00:50:03

I'll take that one.

00:50:06

Very fine choice.

00:50:07

Very fine choice, sir.

00:50:08

And he starts quickly

00:50:10

measuring you

00:50:12

to begin making his suit.

00:50:13

Does it go well with my hat?

00:50:19

maybe

00:50:22

I know everything goes with this head

00:50:24

it's fine

00:50:25

I mean yeah

00:50:26

it could

00:50:31

yes someone had a question

00:50:36

no I think you were saying that was

00:50:38

no it was a trick question

00:50:39

everything goes with that

00:50:44

yeah

00:50:44

From My Cousin Vinny, the one where he gets yelled at in the courtroom.

00:50:48

It's a velour suit from, I don't know, looks like a lounge act suit.

00:50:54

I don't know how to describe it.

00:50:55

He gets yelled at by the judge.

00:50:57

Isn't that Herman Munster?

00:50:59

Yes.

00:50:59

It is Herman Munster.

00:51:03

Oh, Edith.

00:51:06

There go my nipples again.

00:51:13

Oh, here.

00:51:15

Oh, perfect.

00:51:17

Yeah, I'm just adding what yours,

00:51:19

this magenta brocade will look like.

00:51:23

Oh my gosh.

00:51:27

Oh, okay.

00:51:28

That's fine.

00:51:30

That will definitely go with a...

00:51:33

It's all green to me.

00:51:37

Every red flag is a green flag

00:51:40

if you're colorblind.

00:51:41

Right.

00:51:43

And you, sir, yes, fine, the red velour suit, of course.

00:51:48

Yes.

00:51:48

And would you prefer a bow tie, sir, or perhaps a charming cummerbund?

00:51:53

No, what's a thing the colonel wears?

00:51:56

Ascot.

00:51:58

No, not that colonel, the other colonel.

00:52:00

The really thin, skinny one?

00:52:02

Yeah, the one that's on the chicken bucket.

00:52:09

Colonel Sanders.

00:52:10

Yes.

00:52:11

Bye.

00:52:12

A western string bow tie.

00:52:15

Yes.

00:52:15

Yes, a type of bow tie.

00:52:18

Oh, very fine, sir.

00:52:20

Very fine, sir.

00:52:21

And may I interest you in any sort of cape or capelet?

00:52:26

A cape?

00:52:28

Or capelet.

00:52:30

I thought you had to earn those.

00:52:31

I can just buy that?

00:52:33

Oh, of course.

00:52:34

Of course.

00:52:35

Hell yeah, give me a cape.

00:52:36

No, a capelet.

00:52:38

What's a capelet?

00:52:40

It's a cape that doesn't go all the way down.

00:52:41

and it kind of cuts off at the shoulders.

00:52:43

Oh, like a Dracula-like.

00:52:45

Yeah, like a kid's cape.

00:52:47

Yeah.

00:52:49

Can you put a bat symbol on it?

00:52:51

Get him a cape,

00:52:52

and it'll reach the floor.

00:52:54

Wow.

00:52:56

Yeah, I'm short.

00:52:57

I know.

00:52:58

Boom, roasted.

00:53:01

God, I can't make any jokes today, can't I?

00:53:04

No, I'm the only one that can be mean.

00:53:07

You just call me cruel.

00:53:09

Because you were being cruel,

00:53:11

and you know it.

00:53:12

but I did tell that man that his wife

00:53:15

didn't like him and his marriage

00:53:16

was falling apart but he's not real

00:53:20

no he ceases to exist once you leave

00:53:24

yeah

00:53:25

and then for you sir the fine

00:53:27

gentleman who I can see

00:53:28

I can see is

00:53:30

a friend of fashion as it is

00:53:32

may I take your coat sir for better

00:53:34

measurements and he offers out his hand

00:53:36

to take your frat coat

00:53:38

yeah well here's the thing sir

00:53:41

Do you have any frock?

00:53:44

Frock, sir.

00:53:45

Yeah, I've got sensitive skin.

00:53:49

Only natural fibers.

00:53:51

Is frock a material?

00:53:56

Good question.

00:53:58

So my understanding, sir, is that frock is a type of garment.

00:54:02

Are you perhaps thinking of flocked?

00:54:05

No, frock.

00:54:06

Authentic frock.

00:54:07

I see.

00:54:09

All right.

00:54:14

that's not a lot

00:54:16

what

00:54:18

hold on

00:54:20

frock coat

00:54:24

these people are quite

00:54:26

what about this coat I found over here

00:54:30

green

00:54:31

oh yes yes I see I can see

00:54:34

a bit of the seafaring type

00:54:36

in you is that correct sir

00:54:37

with the epaulets.

00:54:39

And would you like more girthy epaulets, sir?

00:54:42

No, but what's an epaulet?

00:54:44

An epaulet is the wonderful decoration

00:54:47

one wears at the sleeves.

00:54:48

It has a military background, you know,

00:54:51

for showing rank or, you know.

00:54:53

Oh, you got to get that.

00:54:55

Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:54:56

I need some rank.

00:54:57

It's common with captains and co-captains.

00:55:00

Yeah, yeah, I need captain ranks.

00:55:01

I need captain ranks and add on a cape on there.

00:55:04

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:55:06

Actually, we are all captains, and we are equal captains.

00:55:10

We are co-captains.

00:55:11

We all get the epaulettes, and they need to be the same size and very big.

00:55:15

Epaulettes all around?

00:55:17

Yes.

00:55:17

Epaulettes all around.

00:55:19

Give me some scrambled eggs.

00:55:21

I don't really know if it's going to go with the color.

00:55:24

And cape.

00:55:25

They can be green.

00:55:27

All right, if it's green.

00:55:30

Yes, yes.

00:55:31

We typically suggest gold for an epaulette, but I'm sure green could suffice, of course.

00:55:36

Yes, I see here.

00:55:38

Now, you said you would like a cloak as well?

00:55:41

A cape, yes.

00:55:43

Frock as well.

00:55:45

Yes, yes, frock.

00:55:53

I see.

00:55:54

And then are there any other accessories?

00:55:56

A fine hat, perhaps?

00:55:58

No, I've already got a fine hat.

00:56:00

Yeah, I got a pretty nice hat.

00:56:01

It's pretty big.

00:56:03

Can I offer you perhaps a walking stick or a chain or some other accessory?

00:56:08

Oh, hell yeah.

00:56:10

Oh, I'll take a walking stick.

00:56:12

Give me all three.

00:56:14

Can you give me a monocle?

00:56:20

Get that one monocle when you were making the forgery?

00:56:24

No, that was a loop.

00:56:26

You can't wear those things all the time.

00:56:28

Come on, be serious.

00:56:30

Did you just break off one of your opera glasses for it?

00:56:34

To be fair, they were already broken.

00:56:38

They were just held together by tape.

00:56:40

I mean, we were looking across a street using them.

00:56:42

I mean, they weren't going to have been that good.

00:56:45

I'm not sure they weren't even helping.

00:56:47

A street, again, you were allowed to be in on a public day, you know?

00:56:52

Yeah.

00:56:54

I'm sorry, Patches.

00:56:55

You said you would like a walking stick.

00:56:58

No, I would like a walking stick.

00:57:01

Yes, I would like a walking stick.

00:57:02

You would also like a walking stick.

00:57:03

And a walking stick for the young sir.

00:57:06

Excuse me.

00:57:08

I am not young.

00:57:10

I am a man.

00:57:12

I did not want to suggest otherwise.

00:57:14

But a young man you are in the prime of his life.

00:57:18

I can see that you'll catch the eye of many a woman at this garden party.

00:57:22

Oh, that reminds me.

00:57:25

that reminds me this is going to be a sticky party

00:57:28

and not in a good way

00:57:29

I don't need a walking stick

00:57:32

just fine thank you but I would like a monocle

00:57:35

just a monocle then of course

00:57:37

well this will take some time to make

00:57:39

I mean of course I'm more than happy to start working on it right away

00:57:42

for such fine young gentlemen

00:57:45

who have given me such a great gift

00:57:46

but it will not be available until tomorrow morning

00:57:50

at the earliest

00:57:55

Oh!

00:57:57

Who left?

00:57:57

Who got mad?

00:57:59

I guess it's who.

00:58:01

Yeah.

00:58:03

Let's see if he comes back.

00:58:08

New Unret.

00:58:15

Oh, he's back.

00:58:22

is he

00:58:25

you good yeah yeah sorry

00:58:31

yeah so he just finished up by kind of uh thanking you for your service he wrote you

00:58:35

guys out a ticket with your very detailed um suits on it and little sketching of course he

00:58:40

gives every one of you as well he cuts a piece of the fabric uh that you wanted and like

00:58:46

pins it on you.

00:58:47

And then from a small basket,

00:58:49

he takes a little flower as well

00:58:50

and he pins that on you as well.

00:58:52

And he says,

00:58:53

just to go about your day,

00:58:54

a little good luck, of course.

00:58:55

Don't forget,

00:58:56

you know, it is a garden party after all.

00:58:58

You have to dress the part.

00:59:00

Wait, I never got your name.

00:59:03

Oh, Taylor.

00:59:05

Taylor?

00:59:06

Your name is Taylor the Taylor?

00:59:08

It's a coincidence, isn't it?

00:59:10

Yeah, it's quite a coincidence.

00:59:13

Suspiciously coincidence.

00:59:14

Yeah.

00:59:15

Do you have my five gold?

00:59:17

what oh of course

00:59:19

of course and he

00:59:21

kind of goes into his old timey cash

00:59:23

register and like click click click

00:59:24

and ka-ching drawer opens

00:59:27

and he pulls out five coin and he

00:59:29

hands it to you and takes the

00:59:31

ticket from your hands as well

00:59:33

and sticks it back into the cash

00:59:35

drawer and shuts it

00:59:39

okay I take the gold

00:59:41

or the coin

00:59:42

I put

00:59:45

and I stash them.

00:59:48

Cool. Yeah.

00:59:48

You got five coins.

00:59:51

Awesome.

00:59:57

Now I say we get drunk.

01:00:01

Huzzah!

01:00:04

Okay.

01:00:04

Go back to the ship.

01:00:07

We should go back to the ship.

01:00:08

We've never been on the ship for a while.

01:00:10

We should drink on the ship.

01:00:12

Maybe we can buy some liquor on the way home.

01:00:16

Buy.

01:00:17

Buy a restaurant on the way home.

01:00:20

It's five coins.

01:00:22

It's my five coins.

01:00:24

This was just cool.

01:00:25

I could sell it.

01:00:27

Yeah.

01:00:27

So you guys start your walk back to the dock.

01:00:32

Again, your ship is parked without a permit, kind of inappropriately.

01:00:36

So when you get back, there are, of course, more tickets on the boat.

01:00:41

In fact, it looks like someone's tried to boot the ship and buy that.

01:00:45

I mean, they put a heavy anchor on one of the lines that is on the deck.

01:00:50

So, you know, you'd have to cut it to leave, which is a little silly.

01:00:53

But they booted your car, which you promptly ignore.

01:00:56

You take the little stickers off and add them to your ever-growing collection.

01:01:02

Rodney.

01:01:04

Rodney appears.

01:01:05

Rodney is still in his schoolboy outfit.

01:01:08

And he kind of like shimmies into existence next to you.

01:01:12

What the hell are all these parking tickets?

01:01:13

What are you even doing here?

01:01:14

You're supposed to be shooing those people away.

01:01:15

Tell them we're inside really quick picking up our kid.

01:01:21

Now, now, he's still, now, now, Juggles.

01:01:24

He's still just a young boy, a young ghost.

01:01:27

He's probably just new.

01:01:29

It is my first day as a ghost.

01:01:31

Yeah, well, it's not going well so far.

01:01:33

Rule number one, when you work for the ghost pirates, the junk foot boys,

01:01:38

no tickets.

01:01:41

No

01:01:42

tickets.

01:01:44

No tickets.

01:01:45

Rule number one.

01:01:46

Rule number two, anyone comes near our boat,

01:01:49

you scare them off.

01:01:51

Aside from us.

01:01:52

Aside from us. Yeah, don't scare me. I scare pretty easy, too.

01:01:55

No, there's no pooping in the shower.

01:01:58

Yeah, and you see Rodney

01:01:59

writing this down. No

01:02:01

tickets. Scare

01:02:03

off everyone.

01:02:04

What about the monkey?

01:02:07

I'm scared of the monkey.

01:02:08

The monkey will eat you.

01:02:09

He's an ape, and she will eat you.

01:02:12

She will eat you.

01:02:13

She's got a taste for ghost flesh.

01:02:15

She is pretty much...

01:02:17

We say we're the co-captains, but I would take orders from that monkey.

01:02:22

Yes, behind every three great co-captains is a monkey.

01:02:26

Is a chain-smoking chimpanzee.

01:02:30

Behind every great three co-captains is a chain-smoking chimpanzee.

01:02:35

Everybody knows that.

01:02:36

Write that down here.

01:02:37

Title of the week.

01:02:41

And the tall, bald man

01:02:43

that was with the monkey,

01:02:45

the chimp, the chain-smoking chimpanzee,

01:02:47

is he okay?

01:02:49

Wait, you let him back on the boat?

01:02:52

I mean,

01:02:53

he was with the chimp, and

01:02:55

they were holding hands. I mean, it just seemed like

01:02:56

they were fine.

01:02:58

We better look into it.

01:02:59

I'm going to have a conversation

01:03:02

with TV about this.

01:03:05

Oh, wow.

01:03:07

That's our living intern.

01:03:08

He's not doing so well either.

01:03:11

So there's multiple interns?

01:03:13

Well, not ghost interns.

01:03:15

This one's not a ghost.

01:03:16

Yeah, there's only one ghost intern.

01:03:18

Oh, I'm happy.

01:03:19

I mean, hey, Semester at Sea is all about making friends along the way.

01:03:24

Trimester at Sea is all about making friends along the way.

01:03:26

It's a very progressive school.

01:03:28

You don't talk to Tony.

01:03:29

Tony.

01:03:31

He's a bad influence.

01:03:32

He sells drugs to kittens.

01:03:36

Oh, he looked like he was just like, you know, buying medical supplies and stuff.

01:03:40

But all right.

01:03:42

What are drugs but medical supplies?

01:03:44

So is yay or nay on the boat access?

01:03:48

Oh, let him on, but just don't talk to him.

01:03:50

He's a bad influence.

01:03:53

Bad influence.

01:03:55

All right.

01:03:56

Got it, sirs.

01:04:00

Welcome aboard.

01:04:01

All right.

01:04:01

Thank you.

01:04:02

That is just a plucky young ghost.

01:04:05

I'm glad we murdered him.

01:04:07

Yeah, I'm surprised he took so much to it.

01:04:11

I'm not.

01:04:14

I mean, you didn't murder him.

01:04:16

You did maim him.

01:04:19

Probably.

01:04:20

By the butt.

01:04:22

Actually, now that I think about it, who did murder him?

01:04:25

I think Tim Azran.

01:04:28

So was he murdered when you shot him?

01:04:31

Was he murdered when he became a zombie?

01:04:34

Or was he murdered when we stole his soul?

01:04:36

I think this is a philosophical question.

01:04:38

Never murder anybody.

01:04:41

Ever.

01:04:42

Ever.

01:04:43

Ever.

01:04:47

You walk back onto the boat.

01:04:50

And yeah, it's kind of business as usual.

01:04:52

The captain is still there, kind of giving out orders.

01:04:54

The ghost crew is working quietly in the background.

01:04:58

Tawny and Dee Dee are about the place.

01:05:00

This is the home you guys are very familiar with now.

01:05:07

All right, I'm going to make dinner and go to sleep.

01:05:09

Wait, I'm going to drink my soup.

01:05:11

Oh, yeah.

01:05:13

Oh, yeah.

01:05:15

I'm sorry.

01:05:17

I think it started already.

01:05:22

Yeah, yeah.

01:05:25

Go away.

01:05:27

Go have some drinks.

01:05:29

So I imagine that, you know, we wait for sundown.

01:05:35

We're sitting on the boat and in a circle just passing back the rum bottle

01:05:39

or whatever it is that we drink, whiskey probably.

01:05:43

And I feel like this is, you know, we just keep getting drunker and drunker

01:05:48

and telling tales and stories and getting to know each other and stuff like that.

01:05:57

Yeah, as you guys are drinking, some of the members, other people join you.

01:06:03

At one point, Dee Dee is by your side.

01:06:06

The captain, Fitzpride, comes up, and he takes a hearty drink that goes straight through him because he's a ghost.

01:06:13

So he pulls out his own ghost whiskey and starts passing it around to the other ghost crew.

01:06:18

And he goes, ah, argh, boys.

01:06:20

So what have you been up to last few days?

01:06:23

Hey, is that my hat?

01:06:26

It looks damn good on you.

01:06:28

Thank you.

01:06:29

No, no, no.

01:06:30

It's not your hat.

01:06:31

Oh, no.

01:06:31

These are your hats.

01:06:33

Well, I think that might be a hat I purchased in teachers.

01:06:36

Yes, I can one, two, three, four, five, five, five.

01:06:39

Yes, that is quite my hat of many interdimensional spaces.

01:06:45

No, that's weird.

01:06:47

This just must be one that looks just like it.

01:06:49

Well, it's a good look on you.

01:06:51

I'd be happy.

01:06:52

I should go find mine and we could wear it.

01:06:54

Twinsies.

01:06:55

Oh, that would be great.

01:06:58

Yeah, go find me, Captain.

01:07:00

At the mention of twinsies, Rodney kind of comes up.

01:07:04

He's not drinking, but he's like, hey, I'm a twin.

01:07:08

What?

01:07:09

Good for you.

01:07:10

What do you mean you're a twin?

01:07:12

I got a brother, a twin brother, born at the same time.

01:07:15

They call those twins.

01:07:17

That's weird.

01:07:19

How could you be born at the same time?

01:07:21

Well, you're right.

01:07:22

One of us came out first, but Mom would never tell us who.

01:07:24

She said it would breed competition.

01:07:26

Oh, that means she forgot.

01:07:28

That could be. I don't know.

01:07:30

I don't remember.

01:07:32

On drugs.

01:07:34

Your mother was on drugs, son.

01:07:36

Yes.

01:07:38

You were likely unwanted.

01:07:40

One of you twins probably was wanted.

01:07:42

You were a drug baby.

01:07:44

Wow.

01:07:45

You guys are really...

01:07:47

Oh, is this hazing?

01:07:48

Are you just hazing me in turn?

01:07:51

Oh, you got me.

01:07:52

Drunks.

01:07:54

really mean drunks

01:07:56

it's going to be like this all the time

01:07:59

yeah you're going to love it

01:08:01

you'll have to

01:08:02

yes because you're bound to this boat

01:08:07

at one point Tawny comes up

01:08:09

and yes as Rodney said

01:08:10

he's been carrying boxes of medical

01:08:13

supplies and he sees you

01:08:14

he walks over with his current box and he goes

01:08:16

hey guys you doing good over here

01:08:19

any

01:08:20

any news any letters

01:08:22

important letters that came in

01:08:24

for me?

01:08:28

Who's going to write you?

01:08:32

I was waiting to hear back if I got into

01:08:34

SUK. I didn't know if...

01:08:36

Suck?

01:08:38

Suck?

01:08:38

I didn't know if...

01:08:41

You guys see anything?

01:08:42

A letter?

01:08:42

The mailbox.

01:08:44

I checked. Where's the mailbox?

01:08:46

The mailbox?

01:08:47

The mailbox?

01:08:49

You checked the mailbox?

01:08:50

Well, our mail is dropped on the upper deck.

01:08:54

Did you see any mail up there?

01:08:56

You are all sitting on the upper deck,

01:08:58

and you have been at this time drinking a bit,

01:09:01

so there are a few bottles.

01:09:03

And he kind of just, like, kicks one, and he's like,

01:09:05

Does any of these have a letter in it?

01:09:08

I don't think so.

01:09:09

I think we're – well, if you see anything, just let me know, okay?

01:09:13

And, hey, you guys feeling okay?

01:09:16

I mean, I know you're drinking, but you could use the practice.

01:09:19

Yeah, my foot is full of glass.

01:09:25

thank you for noticing squish yeah you've been leaving blood everywhere

01:09:30

i didn't

01:09:34

no i mean it happens to the best of us it shouldn't well it did and i believe the glass was your fault

01:09:42

that was not my fault well it was probably uh pash's fault

01:09:49

I would believe

01:09:51

there's a lot of glass up here

01:09:53

maybe we should get a broom or something

01:09:56

why do we even have ghosts

01:09:58

what are they even doing up here

01:10:00

do you sweat while we were gone

01:10:05

Rodney

01:10:07

you couldn't pick up a broom

01:10:11

when you say that

01:10:13

a couple of ghosts

01:10:18

fade into a pier

01:10:21

and one of them has like a broom

01:10:22

and you can see them starting to like

01:10:24

attempt to sweep up but because they are

01:10:26

ghosts have a little bit of trouble with

01:10:28

the physical form when they conveniently want

01:10:30

to.

01:10:32

So the broom is just kind of going

01:10:34

through the glass bottles.

01:10:39

Well, that's...

01:10:40

Well, if you want, I can wrap your

01:10:42

feet for you and maybe

01:10:44

give you a hand there.

01:10:46

A massage?

01:10:47

What massage?

01:10:48

You giving out massages?

01:10:51

You want a massage?

01:10:53

Yes!

01:10:56

Pedicures.

01:11:03

All right.

01:11:05

So he's going to start first with you,

01:11:09

with you chuckles.

01:11:11

Yes, because my feet are full of glass.

01:11:13

Your feet are full of glass.

01:11:18

twisted ankle for my awesome kick

01:11:21

no none of you

01:11:22

wait how does this tarquish have no

01:11:24

no injuries

01:11:26

because I am tough as nails baby

01:11:29

yeah it reduces

01:11:30

yeah it gives him stress

01:11:33

although he got real stress

01:11:34

last time okay

01:11:35

so for your healing you're going to roll your prowess

01:11:38

roll and since you're having tawny

01:11:40

help you you can take a plus one and then I think

01:11:42

you also get a modifier because aren't you

01:11:44

also good at healing.

01:11:46

Well, I'm not going to be working on my feet.

01:11:48

That's not what I pay Tawny for.

01:11:50

To work on my own feet.

01:11:56

Okay, yeah, then just take the plus one.

01:11:58

Oh, wait, no, everyone in your crew

01:12:00

gets plus one, so they're cheering.

01:12:03

So that's only if you help them.

01:12:05

Yeah.

01:12:05

Okay.

01:12:06

What? Sorry.

01:12:07

So you just do your progress plus one.

01:12:09

Sorry.

01:12:13

Oh, that was close.

01:12:17

so yeah

01:12:18

you can go ahead and reduce

01:12:21

one of your levels of harm so either take a

01:12:23

erase a level one

01:12:25

I guess you have to do that

01:12:27

no more glass and feet

01:12:29

still a sad boy

01:12:31

and knocked me organs harm too

01:12:37

so he finishes

01:12:39

patching up your feet

01:12:41

and then he turns to you patches and he says

01:12:43

I see you got a twisted ankle there.

01:12:44

You want me to wrap it for you?

01:12:48

Massage, please.

01:12:51

All right.

01:12:52

Same thing. You're going to roll your insight

01:12:54

and then plus one.

01:12:57

It's your weakest

01:12:59

resistance roll.

01:13:01

Then you get a plus one.

01:13:07

Not bad.

01:13:09

Man, Tawny's good at this.

01:13:11

Yeah, so he wraps up your ankle and at the same time gives you one of the best foot massages you've ever had.

01:13:20

And you hate to admit it, but it's pretty good.

01:13:25

You're pretty good in touching feet, my boy.

01:13:27

Oh, my God.

01:13:30

What is...

01:13:30

Oh, my God.

01:13:31

I never actually...

01:13:32

Don't answer that.

01:13:37

I admit a noise came out.

01:13:40

I'm not sure where it came from.

01:13:44

it was pretty good

01:13:44

and then he comes to

01:13:47

he comes to you squish

01:13:49

now you don't have any harm

01:13:52

I do think you have some

01:13:53

stress though which we can't

01:13:55

see but

01:13:57

I'm pretty sure he's got five stress

01:13:59

you can see it okay yeah

01:14:01

he goes and I guess

01:14:03

you just want like a

01:14:05

quick shoulder massage or something or

01:14:07

yeah I'll take a massage

01:14:11

alright

01:14:12

The episode of Sopranos where the guy starts giving everybody in the fucking shop massages.

01:14:20

Yeah, so you're going to do the same thing.

01:14:21

Resolve plus one.

01:14:23

Your resolve roll plus one.

01:14:27

All right.

01:14:33

I can't see him, so.

01:14:36

You got a one and a three.

01:14:39

So, yeah, if you want to reduce re-stress.

01:14:42

go ahead and do that

01:14:44

Tiger can you reduce me

01:14:45

to restress

01:14:47

yeah reduce your stress

01:14:49

reduce it

01:14:50

reduce it

01:14:52

reduce it

01:14:54

it's reduced

01:14:58

thank you

01:15:00

maybe you be nice

01:15:02

yes I'm always nice

01:15:03

that's not true and you know it

01:15:05

reduce it

01:15:08

reduce less

01:15:10

yes

01:15:11

So Tawny disappears to go wash his hands.

01:15:14

The sun, yes, is setting.

01:15:16

The stars are out.

01:15:18

Yeah, he didn't wash his hands before.

01:15:19

He only washes them after.

01:15:23

Gross.

01:15:24

He touched all of our feet.

01:15:29

Now we all have ringworm from one of us.

01:15:33

Yeah, I wonder who.

01:15:34

Not the one he did first.

01:15:37

Probably.

01:15:38

But he still somehow got the ringworm.

01:15:40

How do we all have very warm then?

01:15:44

Weird.

01:15:46

The body works in mysterious ways.

01:15:50

That's God.

01:15:51

Stars come out in Lockport, and you guys are just chilling on the main deck having a drink.

01:16:01

Well, lads, you ready for the garden party?

01:16:06

Well, is the garden parties tomorrow too, or just when we pick up our suits?

01:16:10

it'll be when you pick up your

01:16:12

suits it's going to be later that day

01:16:14

so

01:16:17

a pretty big party

01:16:20

yeah

01:16:21

you got a plan juggles for how you're going to juggle those two ladies

01:16:24

your two lady friends

01:16:26

oh yeah how are you

01:16:28

going to do that

01:16:29

are you going to share

01:16:31

share what

01:16:33

you know

01:16:36

uh no

01:16:38

okay

01:16:40

That tracks.

01:16:41

Where's my bottle?

01:16:42

So how are you going to do it?

01:16:44

Do what?

01:16:46

I'm sure it'll work out fine.

01:16:51

All right.

01:16:52

And can't wait to see this not blow up in your face?

01:16:56

No.

01:16:57

I thought you had feelings for Lady Highhill.

01:16:59

I do.

01:17:00

She's the mother of my future goblin children.

01:17:03

What about the other woman, Evelyn?

01:17:07

I'm not sure what her dad looked like or what our offspring might look like.

01:17:15

Wait, wait.

01:17:16

So you're going to, you love both of them?

01:17:18

I, he loves a strong word.

01:17:21

Juggles, are you a polygamist?

01:17:28

Hey, wow.

01:17:30

Hmm.

01:17:30

That's a lot of syllables you threw into one word.

01:17:36

Hey, he's getting better.

01:17:37

He knows what a syllable is.

01:17:38

Yeah.

01:17:40

Polygamist.

01:17:42

It didn't matter if we were saying a big word.

01:17:46

Yes, I didn't.

01:17:48

Well, all right.

01:17:49

Well, first, explain what a polygamist is to the young lad.

01:17:53

You've been around the cook.

01:17:55

You've been around the kitchen once or twice.

01:17:58

Yeah, but I don't believe in that.

01:18:01

Sorry.

01:18:02

Oh.

01:18:03

No.

01:18:05

I'm not going to give him the idea so that he wants to do it.

01:18:09

Oh.

01:18:11

Okay.

01:18:12

Because he probably will.

01:18:14

He's already doing it.

01:18:16

I'm already nothing happened.

01:18:21

What?

01:18:23

I'm already interested in many women right now.

01:18:26

These things just have a way of working out for me.

01:18:30

So I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

01:18:34

All right.

01:18:34

What about the lady with the bird head?

01:18:36

She loved you, too.

01:18:37

She did, and then she...

01:18:39

When has it ever worked out for you?

01:18:43

Well, one time, in kindergarten,

01:18:47

this girl said I had nice shoelaces.

01:18:51

And she was my girlfriend for an entire trimester.

01:18:54

Really? What was her name?

01:18:57

I don't know.

01:19:01

Old trimester, huh?

01:19:02

Old lacy.

01:19:04

Can I ask you a question?

01:19:06

What did she look like from behind?

01:19:09

Oh.

01:19:10

What?

01:19:12

It was kindergarten.

01:19:15

Oh, well, I'm just wondering, you know,

01:19:17

did she know she was your girlfriend?

01:19:21

Did I mention she saw my shoelaces

01:19:24

and thought they were nice and cute?

01:19:28

Are you still wearing those shoelaces?

01:19:30

Yes.

01:19:31

They're my lucky shoelaces.

01:19:32

Are you still wearing those shoes?

01:19:35

No.

01:19:36

The shoelaces move from shoe to shoe as I get older.

01:19:40

And so you can see my shoelaces don't go all the way up my shoe.

01:19:44

They just stop like that.

01:19:46

Yes.

01:19:49

Yeah, they have like butterflies on them or some shit.

01:19:51

You never change your shoelaces?

01:19:58

Well, I change them out of the shoes that don't fit me anymore

01:20:01

into shoes that do fit me.

01:20:03

Yeah, so he took the shoelaces

01:20:05

out of the new shoes and put his lucky ones

01:20:07

in there. And then he got an extra pair of

01:20:09

shoelaces for things.

01:20:11

Alright, I'm more okay with polygamy

01:20:13

than I am with that.

01:20:15

You keep saying that word. Did somebody say polygamy

01:20:18

as Captain

01:20:19

Fitzgibbon comes over?

01:20:21

Jesus Christ, no one invited you.

01:20:23

Himself in this circle

01:20:25

and he goes,

01:20:27

polygamy, eh?

01:20:29

Why? I've known a polygamist in my time or two.

01:20:32

I'm sure you did, you fucking degenerate.

01:20:35

What? Are you talking about Westervale?

01:20:36

Are you going to finally tell us what you did with that old coot?

01:20:39

Oh, if I told you what I did, we'd both flush.

01:20:44

Good lord.

01:20:45

I mean, that doesn't sound so bad.

01:20:49

We'll discuss it later, son. I'll come tuck you in.

01:20:52

You will not. You will not tuck this young man in with your six stories.

01:20:58

you didn't know that

01:20:59

you can tuss me in

01:21:02

yeah I know he comes in

01:21:03

and he floats in

01:21:05

as a ghost and he kisses me on the forehead

01:21:08

and he tucks me in

01:21:09

tussles my hair and says see you tomorrow morning

01:21:12

you fucking sick

01:21:14

bastard

01:21:15

I'm just

01:21:17

it's nice you gotta try it

01:21:19

I'm not trying anything

01:21:20

this guy's a fucking jerk

01:21:24

all I'm saying lad

01:21:26

is that it's never

01:21:27

It's never very nice if someone gets their heart broken.

01:21:31

So just make sure everybody's on the polygamy.

01:21:35

So don't dump anyone ever.

01:21:39

Don't dump anyone ever.

01:21:42

Ever.

01:21:45

That's great advice.

01:21:46

Thank you, Dad.

01:21:47

Yeah.

01:21:47

Yeah.

01:21:48

It's polygamy and it's made up of a polyga-wee.

01:21:51

You know, everybody has to be on board.

01:21:56

Like a ship.

01:21:56

I'm sure.

01:21:57

I'm sure it'll work out

01:21:59

I'm not worried

01:22:00

I don't know why you guys are so worried about this

01:22:03

Nah that's confident for you

01:22:05

I don't see how it could go poorly for me

01:22:08

To be perfectly honest

01:22:09

Most women like sharing a man I heard

01:22:16

I don't know about demon women

01:22:19

Is she a demon?

01:22:21

Yes she's a demon

01:22:23

Oh

01:22:24

Well her dad's a gobbler

01:22:25

Lord Highhill.

01:22:27

Or Dan is not a goblin.

01:22:29

Your dad looks like a goblin.

01:22:32

He's a disgusting little goblin man.

01:22:34

Oh, I've seen Lord Highhill.

01:22:36

He's definitely goblin-like.

01:22:38

Right?

01:22:39

He's a goblin.

01:22:42

Alright, alright.

01:22:43

I'm just saying, if you guys have any questions

01:22:45

about the birds and the bees and the goblins

01:22:47

and the trees, you know where you can find me.

01:22:49

I do have a question about one bird.

01:22:51

Dead of sin.

01:22:52

Yeah, it's mostly bird that I want to ask about.

01:22:55

Tell me about Wester Vale.

01:22:58

Make me blush.

01:23:01

Oh, well, good night, boys.

01:23:03

Good night, my little lads.

01:23:04

Get out of here.

01:23:10

I feel like maybe he could have taught us a thing or two.

01:23:12

Go.

01:23:13

Nobody likes you.

01:23:14

Go.

01:23:15

I like him just fine.

01:23:18

He's a bastard, and they don't trust him.

01:23:20

I don't care if he's a ghost or not.

01:23:22

He hasn't changed one bit.

01:23:27

and he's still a nice sweet man

01:23:29

you've known for years

01:23:31

and I will never ever ever stop

01:23:33

mutating against that

01:23:37

I mutate against everything

01:23:39

that ghost represents

01:23:42

a well run ship no waffle stomping

01:23:46

that was our rule

01:23:49

general leadership skills

01:23:52

hair tussling

01:23:54

mutual respect

01:23:56

world domination

01:23:58

maybe polygamy

01:24:00

sexual deviant

01:24:02

an overall confident

01:24:03

an overconfident jerk

01:24:05

jerk

01:24:09

who smells

01:24:10

remember the smell

01:24:12

he does smell

01:24:13

even as a ghost I still smell it

01:24:17

it's an acquired face

01:24:19

I think he smells worse now

01:24:23

yeah

01:24:23

like a fart

01:24:26

wrapped in a blanket

01:24:27

of dirty tacos.

01:24:29

Hail the junk fort boys

01:24:31

In the night they roam

01:24:33

At pegs solving woes

01:24:35

With fire and slow

01:24:38

With a clash and a crash

01:24:39

And a twist of fate

01:24:41

Explosions mark the hours

01:24:43

Never late

01:24:52

Never late

01:24:55

What?