- Crew of the Kahuna

00:00:00

Hail the Junk Fort boys, in the night they roam at bay, solving woes with fire and explode.

00:00:09

With a clash and a crash and a twist of fate, explosions mark the hours never late.

00:00:16

I'm Tiger, I play Jarlsander Juckles' Doubleday.

00:00:21

You know, a tinkerer with an onion in the guts, fixes a machine with a knack for the nuts.

00:00:28

And a little fact about Juckles this week is, you know, Uncle Skulluck was a bit of a father figure and gave Juckles his first gift.

00:00:40

And it was a it was a tricycle.

00:00:42

And Juckles took it apart and never quite put it back together.

00:00:45

Oh, it wasn't an onion?

00:00:47

No, it wasn't an onion.

00:00:48

He got his first onion in the back of a in the back of an alley behind the school.

00:00:52

Not his school, but a school.

00:00:54

All right.

00:00:55

Right.

00:00:57

The first one was free.

00:01:01

We moved past the onion.

00:01:02

We're on a different story now.

00:01:04

This story is Skluck gave him a tricycle

00:01:06

and he took it apart

00:01:08

and never got it back together.

00:01:10

And it's been taunting him ever since.

00:01:12

Did he ride first?

00:01:15

He immediately took it apart.

00:01:17

He thought he was too cool for a tricycle

00:01:19

and took it apart.

00:01:19

He never rode it.

00:01:21

No.

00:01:22

So does he know how to ride a bicycle?

00:01:26

That's a good question.

00:01:27

That's a good question.

00:01:32

I sense a flashback coming up.

00:01:35

Excellent question.

00:01:39

We'll never get back to it.

00:01:40

No, not even once.

00:01:41

We're going to immediately forget.

00:01:42

The only need of escape is bicycles.

00:01:44

A tricycle.

00:01:47

It will be great growth for Juckles when he finally learns to ride a tricycle.

00:01:52

Or to reassemble one.

00:01:55

A grown man riding a tricel is no way to beat those clown allegations.

00:02:01

I have no comment on those allegations.

00:02:05

He keeps part of the pieces, yeah.

00:02:07

And it's just a project he's never finished.

00:02:09

And like I said, it taunts him to this day.

00:02:12

Just like, yeah, I always keep a piece of it next to my heart.

00:02:14

It's a big trike wheel.

00:02:16

Just pulls out of his pocket.

00:02:18

Yeah.

00:02:19

Yep.

00:02:19

Right next to the onions.

00:02:21

Or a little more.

00:02:24

do tricycles head bells.

00:02:25

He's got the horn because clown.

00:02:28

Oh, right.

00:02:29

I gotta beat those.

00:02:32

Yeah, I mean, he doesn't carry

00:02:33

a big part, but just a little part

00:02:35

he keeps with just to remind him

00:02:37

how disappointed he is with himself

00:02:39

and also Sklock.

00:02:42

Sklock is disappointed in him

00:02:44

or he is disappointed in my life.

00:02:46

Sklock was pissed as hell.

00:02:48

He gave this little boy

00:02:49

who he's not even related to

00:02:50

a tricycle to bring him some joy

00:02:53

because he was a depressed little orphan.

00:02:56

And he immediately took it apart and then never got to enjoy it.

00:03:01

So, yeah.

00:03:02

Was that another lorry drop?

00:03:05

Or did we know that Chuckles was an orphan?

00:03:08

That's why I like your Chuckles, all your sad stories.

00:03:12

Should I have a Dickens novel?

00:03:13

I don't know.

00:03:14

I don't know if you guys knew that.

00:03:17

I think we could guess.

00:03:19

I think the evidence is there.

00:03:20

Is it my social awkwardness?

00:03:22

No, it's a tricycle in your pocket

00:03:25

Just part of it

00:03:28

Just part of it

00:03:30

Alright, carry on

00:03:31

Thank you for sharing that

00:03:33

That was delightful

00:03:36

It's like an AA meeting

00:03:37

Thank you for sharing

00:03:40

Does anybody else

00:03:42

Would anyone else like to share?

00:03:45

Brandon

00:03:47

Yeah

00:03:48

I'm Andy

00:03:51

I played

00:03:52

Tarkish Sunder, a.k.a. Squish.

00:03:55

Hi.

00:03:56

And this week's

00:03:58

Squish fact is that he's

00:04:00

colorblind.

00:04:02

So he doesn't know he's red?

00:04:03

Why did he want a green hat?

00:04:07

He wanted that green hat.

00:04:08

So specifically.

00:04:11

That makes so much more sense

00:04:12

because the color he thinks is green is

00:04:14

nothing what we think is green.

00:04:15

He might have thought that was a very stylish tan hat.

00:04:18

So he doesn't know he's ugly.

00:04:21

He said he wanted green.

00:04:22

Lime green.

00:04:24

They still call colors colors.

00:04:26

They don't know what colors are wrong.

00:04:28

I feel like you could have started that sentence almost the same way.

00:04:31

I feel like that makes so much sense, but in a very real way, none at all.

00:04:38

People who are colorblind are still introduced to the color green and told this is green.

00:04:42

And even though they may like it, but they don't know it's not green.

00:04:47

I see all colors.

00:04:48

I'm not colorblind.

00:04:49

Squish, explain yourself.

00:04:52

Do you know you're colorblind?

00:04:54

So his whole life...

00:04:56

Yes.

00:04:57

Well, no, actually.

00:04:59

So his whole life people have been calling him green.

00:05:04

But he just assumed it was like a dark gray.

00:05:09

Oh, so he's gray for all his colors.

00:05:11

He grew up his whole life thinking green was a dark gray.

00:05:14

So when he said he wanted the green hat that would make him blend in more,

00:05:19

He thought he was getting a dark gray hat.

00:05:21

Well, he still thinks it's a dark gray hat.

00:05:24

Well, it really does explain

00:05:26

everything about this hat.

00:05:30

He doesn't understand

00:05:32

why you guys are...

00:05:33

Well,

00:05:35

because I like fur.

00:05:37

Why would you get a Jamequai hat?

00:05:40

He just has bad taste.

00:05:41

That's what it is.

00:05:43

Well, we knew that.

00:05:43

What's that guy's name again?

00:05:45

The guy who moves everything around?

00:05:48

Jamequai.

00:05:49

Oh, in his hat, yeah.

00:05:54

Is he calling you?

00:05:55

Yeah, so he

00:05:58

doesn't know

00:06:00

that

00:06:01

Karina actually stands out

00:06:03

really, really

00:06:05

especially against his red skin.

00:06:10

Right.

00:06:14

Okay.

00:06:16

So I knew a guy

00:06:18

I found out is that we were all playing Monopoly.

00:06:21

And I don't know, he got like the card to go somewhere or something like he owned some property and he was so excited about it.

00:06:26

But he kept pointing at the wrong one.

00:06:28

It was like orange, purple or something.

00:06:30

I don't remember.

00:06:30

But he was like, really like we got he got really mad at us.

00:06:34

And we were like, dude, you're wrong.

00:06:35

And then like our babysitter had to take him aside and explain to him that he actually might be colorblind.

00:06:40

Oh, no, that was a really rough day.

00:06:42

Monopoly ruins another friendship.

00:06:44

Oh, see, I had the opposite problem.

00:06:45

I found out a guy was lying about being colorblind.

00:06:49

Really?

00:06:50

Yeah, yeah. Turns out he was just making it up.

00:06:53

He also said he was from England.

00:06:55

From Monopoly?

00:06:58

No, no. Well, not Monopoly's from England.

00:07:00

But no, this guy was just...

00:07:04

Claimed he was colorblind.

00:07:05

He's just a liar.

00:07:07

Yeah, yeah.

00:07:09

Oh, I thought you were talking about me when I cheated when we played Monopoly.

00:07:14

Oh, surprise, surprise.

00:07:16

I get bored.

00:07:19

It explains a lot, actually.

00:07:22

But also not at all.

00:07:24

Connor Patches McKenzie

00:07:27

got his first drink of white wine

00:07:30

when he was six years old,

00:07:32

given to him by his father

00:07:33

at a party, a highfalutin party.

00:07:36

Didn't he hate his father?

00:07:37

Also marijuana.

00:07:39

What?

00:07:39

Didn't he hate his father?

00:07:42

No, I didn't say that.

00:07:43

No, you did.

00:07:46

you did that was your no that was your fact

00:07:50

he taught me he taught me my love of the sea and you hate your father i think was the second

00:07:55

sentence the quote was i hate my father who gave me the love of the sea oh yeah then that's true

00:08:03

that's different at that time he hadn't given me my love of the sea yet so i still gave you your

00:08:07

love of white wine.

00:08:09

And marijuana.

00:08:11

When you were 11.

00:08:11

Six at six.

00:08:12

Six.

00:08:14

Big difference.

00:08:15

What a party.

00:08:18

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I stole this plot from Robert Downey Jr., but...

00:08:23

I was going to say Anthony Kiedis.

00:08:30

But, yeah.

00:08:33

My father got me drunk at six years old.

00:08:36

And you've been drunk ever since.

00:08:37

What a good dad.

00:08:39

Yeah.

00:08:41

He had to go home and explain it to my mama.

00:08:42

And he had a lot of explaining to do.

00:08:47

All right, that's it.

00:08:49

And the discussion.

00:08:52

All right.

00:08:54

I'm Bridget, the GM.

00:08:55

I play everyone else.

00:08:57

Tawny had planned on going to medical school,

00:09:01

but he ended up in quite a bit of actually medical debt,

00:09:04

if you can believe it or not,

00:09:05

which is a real kick to the teeth.

00:09:07

What is medical debt?

00:09:10

Debt for medical services.

00:09:12

Oh.

00:09:13

He was performing medical services at a loss?

00:09:19

No, no.

00:09:21

Like he's a really bad business person?

00:09:24

He just keeps healing poor people.

00:09:27

Listen, how much is it going to take to fix them bones?

00:09:30

I don't know, five bucks.

00:09:32

But, sir, the sutures are at least ten each.

00:09:35

We'll make it up in volume.

00:09:38

Yeah.

00:09:39

Listen, we lose on the sutures, but we gain in the hot dogs.

00:09:43

And the coffins.

00:09:45

And the coffins.

00:09:48

All right.

00:09:48

Well, speaking of Tawny, let's go ahead and show everybody.

00:09:56

Fat.

00:09:59

Old porker.

00:10:04

Make sure this showed up.

00:10:06

There we go.

00:10:08

There we go.

00:10:09

Ah!

00:10:11

Wait.

00:10:13

This isn't right.

00:10:19

What are you doing?

00:10:20

You motherfucker.

00:10:23

I mean, I'm reading it.

00:10:26

Discord.

00:10:29

What?

00:10:29

It's on Discord.

00:10:31

It's in the...

00:10:32

Oh, no, I didn't hear it.

00:10:33

It's in the journal in Foundry.

00:10:36

here i can go ahead and post them oh no i can't do that boundary oh that's right i got it yeah i forgot

00:10:46

no power

00:10:49

no power so now i'm just sitting in my chair in a dark room

00:10:54

talking out loud to three people that may or may not exist

00:11:00

it's like dr seuss said you make a lot you'll meet a lot of people in your life but

00:11:04

You're going to spend a lot of time alone in a room by yourself.

00:11:08

With people that may or may not exist.

00:11:10

Yeah.

00:11:11

Ghosts.

00:11:15

Okay, here we go.

00:11:18

So,

00:11:20

sweet my mom.

00:11:22

Well, my mom, I'm back in the big city.

00:11:24

My bosses, three or maybe four of them,

00:11:27

ditched me and the monkey in Lockport.

00:11:29

We've been seeing the sights and taking in the delicious food.

00:11:32

We heard about a horrible attack at a local school,

00:11:34

A crazy gunman popped some local bullies in the butt.

00:11:37

Now my bosses have come back and said that someone named Wester Vale was useless,

00:11:43

but they got a date tonight with a real cutie patootie.

00:11:46

Enclosed is me and the monkey.

00:11:47

Love, Tawny.

00:11:48

P.S.

00:11:49

Dee Dee says, ook.

00:11:53

And this was our doctor.

00:11:54

Right.

00:11:56

Is your doctor.

00:11:57

Oh, that's right.

00:11:59

I can tinker guts, though.

00:12:01

You can tinker guts.

00:12:03

Which is surprising because you know what they said in medical school is you can't tink your guts.

00:12:07

But here we are.

00:12:08

Yeah.

00:12:09

And he's in debt for that.

00:12:10

All right.

00:12:11

This is a surprisingly good summary of what happened last week, which is to say you can sum it up in like six sentences.

00:12:17

That entire two and a half hour ordeal.

00:12:21

Yes.

00:12:21

So to quickly flash back to everyone, you did sneak in.

00:12:26

Well, not really sneak.

00:12:27

You just walked into the school.

00:12:29

Unfortunately, you were discovered and decided to commit a horrible school shooting.

00:12:33

Mostly Squish did that.

00:12:38

After beating up the bully, you then went and harassed Westervale.

00:12:43

You told him that you guys were different cohorts and interns

00:12:46

and quite honestly, too many names to follow.

00:12:50

He was relatively useless, except he had some sort of relationship

00:12:57

with Captain Fitzclyde, with Adrick.

00:12:59

And then you met his lovely intern, Evelyn, who seems to be the only one who actually has any idea of what is going on.

00:13:10

Evelyn has agreed to meet you tonight at Jorge's at 8 p.m., which means you guys have some downtime.

00:13:17

It's early afternoon as you stroll out of the school.

00:13:24

You did have to take a back entrance because, of course, again, you did shoot students, which is a feels horrible to say, quite frankly.

00:13:33

They just destroyed my hat.

00:13:36

You're right.

00:13:37

You're completely justified in committing a mass atrocity because someone dented the hat you didn't even like.

00:13:44

I'm pretty sure that's what the trench coat mafia said.

00:13:46

They made fun of my trench coat.

00:13:48

Yeah.

00:13:49

You know, out of character.

00:13:50

They didn't die.

00:13:51

The horror of that really sunk in afterwards.

00:13:54

I was like, man, I just let a crazy man with a gun go into a school of a known violent criminal.

00:14:01

You try and stop it.

00:14:02

It's your it's your fault.

00:14:05

You're right.

00:14:06

Always blame the parents.

00:14:08

Always blame God.

00:14:12

And now the people security.

00:14:15

I did them a favor.

00:14:16

You do.

00:14:16

Every school should have a shooting.

00:14:20

God, we need to stop.

00:14:22

This might be listened to by somebody.

00:14:25

besides your mom

00:14:26

your mom might even report us

00:14:30

so uh we do have a few

00:14:32

things to dole out before we start

00:14:34

we have some XP upgrades

00:14:37

bonus points

00:14:38

patches you got 7 XP

00:14:40

over the last two sessions

00:14:42

and squish you had

00:14:44

6 over the last two sessions

00:14:46

and patches you had 5

00:14:47

you mean juckles have 5

00:14:51

yeah I'm sorry juckles you have 5

00:14:53

So Patches is seven, Squish is six, and Chuckle.

00:14:55

Patches could have, you know, 13.

00:14:58

No, he only has seven.

00:15:01

For the last session, I did write down what you got.

00:15:03

So Patches, one from Wreck, one from Command, one Prowess, two from Prowess, and one Croissant that you stole.

00:15:13

Squish got two from Survey, and Chuckle's got two from his Prowess.

00:15:17

I'm sorry, can you repeat mine that you bulk up when you stalked?

00:15:21

One wreck, one command, two prowess, one croissant.

00:15:25

Oh, that's where I got my XP from?

00:15:28

Hey, I thought he got caught with a croissant but stole a Danish.

00:15:32

Yeah, and then he, like, shoved the croissant in the kid's eye.

00:15:36

Oh, awesome.

00:15:37

I forgot that part.

00:15:39

Yeah, it was a hard work.

00:15:40

I wrote down croissant.

00:15:41

It was a bluebird disaster.

00:15:44

Oh, here, I'll do it for you.

00:15:46

Yeah, into my sheet and put six XP.

00:15:50

One.

00:15:51

2, 3, 4

00:15:54

5

00:15:55

so you level up and then

00:15:57

let me

00:15:59

clear that

00:16:01

who's leveling up though?

00:16:02

with plus 1

00:16:04

Tarquish

00:16:07

so you can

00:16:09

take your time to look at that and assign it

00:16:10

we don't have to do anything here

00:16:13

anyone else

00:16:20

yeah

00:16:20

I'm close. I'm one away.

00:16:22

Close too.

00:16:24

Yeah.

00:16:26

So

00:16:30

is XP the same thing as ability points?

00:16:33

Yeah.

00:16:35

So I have to fill out

00:16:37

the random of those three

00:16:38

slips that are there that I have in mind?

00:16:40

Yes.

00:16:41

Okay, and then it's one whole thing?

00:16:45

I don't remember how the leveling up

00:16:46

system works in this.

00:16:47

So you add your XP to what you already have

00:16:50

here um you which you should already have some yeah yeah so how did you have you added them yet

00:16:58

uh yeah i think so i have five here right and you got six yeah so so i had to remain three and add

00:17:08

another three on that yeah and then you have one ability uh upgrade you can do okay what do i do

00:17:15

You fill out that bar.

00:17:17

Oh, one ability upgrade.

00:17:19

You fill up the bar.

00:17:20

You get one upgrade, whether you want to add that to, like, your insight or your prowess

00:17:25

or your resolve, one of those actions, or you can add an ability.

00:17:28

But you get one point.

00:17:30

And then you just fill up the remaining.

00:17:32

So then you kind of start over and add whatever's left over.

00:17:34

So you add three.

00:17:36

I'm going to add to Skirmish.

00:17:45

Or, you know, prowess.

00:17:47

What's...

00:17:49

Should I do prowess?

00:17:50

What's resolve and prowess again?

00:17:53

So, resolve and prowess.

00:17:55

So, those are, like, your resistance.

00:17:57

You probably would add it to, like, the actual action.

00:17:59

So, hunt or tinker.

00:18:01

Okay, so then, yeah.

00:18:02

I just want to add one to skirmish, then.

00:18:05

Okay.

00:18:06

You got it?

00:18:07

Yep.

00:18:09

Okay.

00:18:14

Any other questions?

00:18:19

No, I don't think so, because I don't have enough to upgrade anyway.

00:18:26

Okay.

00:18:27

Yes, so you walk out of the university, and as you do, you know, you've had this relative

00:18:39

revelation that you finally have found someone who has some idea of what the hell is going

00:18:43

on can get you some answers um and you're feeling a little proud of yourself maybe a little horrified

00:18:49

but the horrors you've just committed the atrocities and you look across the street and you see tawny

00:18:54

and dee uh just like like they're in disneyland they have like bags of of touristy uh souvenirs

00:19:04

they've you can tell they've got like a map that they're staring at uh and they see you

00:19:08

across the street and DeeDee starts waving

00:19:11

frantically like, ah!

00:19:12

Ah!

00:19:15

I went back and I put my arms

00:19:17

out for a hug.

00:19:20

She runs across

00:19:21

the street.

00:19:22

What?

00:19:24

I said I come up behind him and give him a big hug.

00:19:27

Oh, not you.

00:19:28

No, I'm just kidding. Oh, okay.

00:19:31

DeeDee runs into your arms

00:19:33

and you give her a nice hug

00:19:35

and Tani looks the three of you over and says,

00:19:37

oh, where have you guys been up to?

00:19:41

you know i don't even know why i asked these questions and also we didn't kill anybody

00:19:48

oh i just shot him in the ass well they may have died i was teaching

00:19:52

see i was teaching squish how to lie why would we lie because he wasn't no what i'm saying is

00:19:59

i'm just complaining because like he squish why would you you wouldn't uh you weren't like uh

00:20:06

you kept telling them that we murdered

00:20:08

a lot of people

00:20:10

during that last session.

00:20:12

But we did.

00:20:14

I know, but there's such a thing,

00:20:16

I mean, you may have never heard it. It's called deception.

00:20:20

And we're trying to get information.

00:20:21

You're like, well, we murdered that person.

00:20:24

I think I have a zero in that skill.

00:20:28

Deception?

00:20:29

Yeah, but the more they knew,

00:20:32

the more they would help us.

00:20:34

Hopefully.

00:20:36

is that true

00:20:38

I don't know

00:20:39

that sounds like murder logic to me

00:20:41

like if I confess all my crimes

00:20:44

they'll help me

00:20:46

then I'll just get probation

00:20:50

from who

00:20:51

them

00:20:51

they work in a library

00:20:54

well I did steal a book from

00:20:57

that wasn't a library

00:21:01

that was a cult

00:21:04

No, like what we were just at.

00:21:07

Oh, yeah.

00:21:08

Did you steal a book from there, too?

00:21:11

No, I wanted to go through his desk, but he rushed us out so fast.

00:21:19

You're saying all of this in front of Tawny, who at this point is completely lost.

00:21:24

I was like, well, did you find what you were looking for?

00:21:28

What were you looking for again?

00:21:31

The longing?

00:21:31

To answer your question, no.

00:21:34

to answer your second question also no don't ask questions

00:21:42

tony yes did you go did you go apply for medical school uh he fishes into his pocket and he pulls

00:21:51

out like a yellow triplicate of an application he has filled out uh so he's like yep i'm gonna

00:21:57

hear back in like two to three weeks or maybe six months i they didn't seem very clear on that

00:22:02

Also, I didn't know what address to put down for my acceptance letter, so I just put down the name of the ship.

00:22:07

I hope that was okay.

00:22:09

What did you write down?

00:22:09

We have several names in the ship because that might be confidential information.

00:22:15

The Krusty Krab.

00:22:16

Oh, my God.

00:22:18

That's the wrong one.

00:22:19

It is the wrong one.

00:22:21

That's the gay ship.

00:22:24

Yeah, we're the cuddly crab.

00:22:25

We're the cuddly crab.

00:22:27

The straight ship.

00:22:29

The very, very straight ship.

00:22:33

well i'm i mean all right well he takes it out of his and he writes

00:22:38

huddly crap i'll fix it later that'll work all right well okay it looks like you guys had a good

00:22:44

time uh did you buy anything good oh yeah how's how's your guys's mission been going yeah what

00:22:51

have you guys been doing uh dd goes book and she opens her bag and just pulls out snow globes um

00:22:59

All the snow globes are just different temples that she's been to,

00:23:03

different churches, different buildings.

00:23:05

But they're all just a snow globe of the building in a little tiny glass globe.

00:23:11

And she, like, takes them and goes, whoo.

00:23:14

And then takes the other one and shakes it.

00:23:16

Wow.

00:23:18

Good for you, DeeDee.

00:23:20

I am happy for you.

00:23:21

Great.

00:23:25

I guess we're not looking for any churches cults right now.

00:23:29

I was going to say, is there any clues from the snow globes?

00:23:31

I feel like their mission went better than ours.

00:23:34

What?

00:23:38

What'd you say, Tiger?

00:23:41

I hope Andy said something.

00:23:44

I said they both got what they wanted.

00:23:46

But you were saying something before that.

00:23:49

I was saying, I don't think...

00:23:52

There's no...

00:23:54

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:23:55

There is no clues we can get from those snow globes.

00:23:58

I was like, oh, man, do we just need to find which cult we're going to?

00:24:02

Like, maybe there's one that has flowers in it or something or smells like flowers, but I don't think so.

00:24:08

Start smelling the snow globes.

00:24:09

No, I think we just got to wait for our date and then ask her a bunch of questions.

00:24:19

As you do on a date.

00:24:21

Ask her a bunch of questions.

00:24:23

Maintain eye contact.

00:24:24

Right.

00:24:25

Have you guys gone back to the ship yet?

00:24:29

uh no we haven't we considered yeah we were afraid we thought that that might be where the

00:24:35

cops would be it's kind of like when i abandoned my car that one time and i was like i had to go

00:24:39

back and pick it up you know from you know right banded it to the cops right and then it was filled

00:24:45

with with contraband yeah uh so no we haven't been back have you seen it have you gone back

00:24:53

oh well we uh last night we slept in an alley and that wasn't very fun so this morning when we got

00:24:58

up we went and looked and it's just parked out there it's just parked in the dock or i guess

00:25:04

anchored is the right word uh anchored in the dock and uh there was like some there was there was a

00:25:11

couple tickets and some police tape but it only looked like there was like one guard there so i

00:25:16

I mean, you know, it didn't look we didn't go back because, you know, at this point, Tony and DeeDee share a look and they're like, I don't think Captain Fitzclied likes us very much.

00:25:29

Oh, I'm not sure he knows who you are.

00:25:34

Maybe that's it.

00:25:35

Maybe he just thought we were gawkers.

00:25:36

Yeah.

00:25:38

I mean, he knows the monkey.

00:25:41

Sorry, Abe.

00:25:41

Oh, that's true.

00:25:42

Oh, he.

00:25:46

he has a name

00:25:49

what

00:25:50

yeah it's called

00:25:52

patches

00:25:53

no her name is Dee Dee

00:25:55

sorry

00:25:57

that was Dee Dee out of character

00:26:02

I understood

00:26:04

Dee Dee

00:26:05

Dee Dee screams my name is Dee Dee

00:26:07

that's all she screams every time you call her a monkey

00:26:09

I'm god damn Dee Dee

00:26:16

So should we go back to the ship?

00:26:19

Want to just check it out from a distance?

00:26:24

Yeah, Tony, why don't you go back to the ship?

00:26:26

We'll check it out from a distance.

00:26:28

Yeah, Tony, why don't you go talk to that guard for us

00:26:30

and see if he's a tough guy.

00:26:31

See how much his butt is ripe for shooting.

00:26:35

Yeah.

00:26:37

We're the butt shooters now.

00:26:39

Yeah.

00:26:39

Not the butt surfers.

00:26:41

No

00:26:43

The Butt Shoot Boys

00:26:45

The Butt Shoot Boys

00:26:46

The Butt Shoot Boys

00:26:47

The Butt Shoot Butt Shoot

00:26:51

Now you stop that

00:26:54

That's our new theme song

00:26:56

Just that over and over and over

00:26:58

Tiger AI it up

00:27:01

No I'm not doing that

00:27:02

The Butt Shoot Boys

00:27:03

The Butt Shoot Butt Shoot

00:27:05

It's kind of like that

00:27:06

Badger Badger Badger Badger

00:27:08

Everyone's favorite song

00:27:10

Mushroom, mushroom

00:27:12

Alright, well yeah, let's go

00:27:14

to some place that has a vantage point of the

00:27:16

dock to take a look at the park

00:27:18

A roof? Sure, a roof

00:27:20

I'm going up a roof

00:27:22

Okay, he's going on a roof

00:27:24

Is there a fire escape nearby, Bridget?

00:27:29

A fire escape?

00:27:31

Yeah, we're gonna go check out

00:27:32

the ship from a high

00:27:34

vantage point

00:27:38

Fire nearby

00:27:39

What?

00:27:40

Yes.

00:27:40

Is there a fire nearby?

00:27:42

We're always, like, attracted to fires.

00:27:46

You go down to back to the docks where you originally started from,

00:27:51

and it is bustling with people,

00:27:53

even though it kind of looks dark and gloomy in this picture.

00:27:56

It's a bustling port.

00:27:58

And, yes, you do from a distance see your ship.

00:28:01

It does stick out, partially because it is kind of an old-fashioned schooner,

00:28:06

And partially, you now realize there's kind of a weird green glow around the ship.

00:28:12

It really seems to also be emanating its own fog still.

00:28:17

So it's very clearly still looking haunted.

00:28:19

It's all the way at the end of the pier.

00:28:22

It looks like it has anchored.

00:28:25

You don't see anyone on board right away.

00:28:28

Like, you don't see, like, a big hustle and bustle around the ship.

00:28:31

It does look like to be relatively empty and quiet over there.

00:28:37

Okay, so it's not like, it's not surrounded in yellow tape.

00:28:41

Is this crime scene?

00:28:42

No, no.

00:28:43

No.

00:28:44

Or trap.

00:28:46

No.

00:28:48

Surprise.

00:28:48

Surprise.

00:28:49

Secret encounter.

00:28:50

Yeah.

00:28:52

No, it's just, it's kind of docked quietly off to the back, to the side, I guess, by itself.

00:28:58

There's normally a back.

00:29:00

That looks like a little.

00:29:05

Me?

00:29:05

All of us?

00:29:06

Are we all going?

00:29:09

Yeah, I'm back to the ship.

00:29:12

We've earned it.

00:29:14

Yeah.

00:29:15

All right.

00:29:15

You guys.

00:29:16

A little bit of rest.

00:29:19

You start walking towards the ship, and as you do, as you approach, you do realize, yes,

00:29:26

There are, in fact, lots of these like little yellow stickers that have been added, like just kind of stickied to the side of the ship.

00:29:35

And these are parking violations.

00:29:38

These are toll violations.

00:29:42

And as you start, you know, looking over them, there's quite a few.

00:29:46

And it's almost comical, like what they're for.

00:29:49

Like you don't have a license to park.

00:29:51

You don't have your proper, you know, anchor.

00:29:54

you know, you don't have the lights you need on a ship.

00:29:58

Well, lads, we've done it.

00:30:00

We've run afoul of the port authority.

00:30:03

You don't have to pay those.

00:30:04

The most nefarious authority in the land.

00:30:11

Yeah, you don't have to pay those.

00:30:12

A lot of people don't know that.

00:30:15

Yeah, true pirates.

00:30:16

We're outlaws, basically.

00:30:19

Yeah.

00:30:20

That's how all pirates get their start,

00:30:22

is just through a, you know, parking violation.

00:30:24

exactly

00:30:25

I think that's what turned Lex Luthor evil

00:30:29

into a pirate

00:30:30

into a pirate

00:30:32

because it wasn't his dreads

00:30:34

abandoned his

00:30:36

corporate structure or world

00:30:38

and reigned the high seas

00:30:40

yeah the gentleman pirate

00:30:41

Lex Luthor

00:30:43

hey I'm a gentleman pirate

00:30:44

I just drink a lot

00:30:47

you're a pirate

00:30:48

that's an argument

00:30:51

what?

00:30:52

What's that have to do with you being a gentleman?

00:30:54

Yeah.

00:30:55

I always offer a drink.

00:30:58

Not to myself.

00:31:00

But then you're mad when they say yes.

00:31:04

Yeah.

00:31:04

Yeah, well, the flask I only drink out of the finest glass bottles.

00:31:13

Is your flask out of it?

00:31:14

Are you yelling at them?

00:31:16

Glass?

00:31:17

It is now.

00:31:20

Cannon.

00:31:20

It's cannon.

00:31:21

You can save that for next week.

00:31:22

It's canon.

00:31:24

Yes, so, yeah, you get on the ship without an issue.

00:31:28

Get to the edge of the ship, you climb up the ladder,

00:31:31

and when you board the main deck,

00:31:35

it looks very much have you lusped it,

00:31:39

except it seems just kind of, like, again,

00:31:41

it has this weird green glow, not a slime or an ooze.

00:31:45

It's just kind of got this unearthly glow to it.

00:31:50

I think one of us should attune.

00:31:52

Perhaps the ghost pirate among us.

00:31:56

Bridget, can I roll for attune?

00:31:58

Yeah, absolutely.

00:31:59

You don't have to ask permission to roll for a skill you have.

00:32:01

I have to ask.

00:32:03

I mean.

00:32:04

Wow, you're awfully permissive.

00:32:10

I was doing what I want then.

00:32:11

Am I allowed to attune?

00:32:12

I'll show you my skills.

00:32:14

Can I attune, please?

00:32:24

guys it's definitely green something's going on here

00:32:29

yeah um you can tell that the green uh is a uh a paranormal of origin uh you go up to it you

00:32:37

kind of do the quick you know like dust chest to check for phosphorus and it's not there

00:32:42

your finger doesn't even leave a mark through the green.

00:32:45

You can't determine exactly what it is,

00:32:49

but you do sense some sort of...

00:32:52

Unholiness.

00:32:54

Sentience from it.

00:32:56

Sentience.

00:32:57

You can feel that there's a thought or a mind

00:33:02

or something behind this glow.

00:33:04

There's something up with this glow.

00:33:06

It's a thinking, boys.

00:33:08

Is it a ghost?

00:33:09

It might be a ghost.

00:33:12

Where is Captain Clyde?

00:33:12

Where is that phony captain?

00:33:16

As soon as you say, where is that phony captain?

00:33:18

From the captain's quarters, the door busts open,

00:33:21

and here floats in Captain Adric Flitz Clyde,

00:33:25

who has also taken on the same green, glowy glow that the ship has.

00:33:30

He goes, ah, my boys!

00:33:34

Lockport, huh?

00:33:36

What do you think?

00:33:37

Kind of a shithole, huh?

00:33:39

Dangerous.

00:33:40

What did you do to our ship?

00:33:42

What? It's tip-top.

00:33:44

It's ship-shape. It's clean as can be.

00:33:46

It's green as can be.

00:33:48

It could be greener.

00:33:50

To be fair.

00:33:51

It could be greener. I like to think of it as a

00:33:54

nice, pale puke.

00:33:57

Or I like to think of it as a nice, pale puke.

00:34:00

It still looks green.

00:34:01

It still looks green.

00:34:04

You don't know green.

00:34:06

I thought we were supposed to be

00:34:08

kind of like a covert

00:34:09

here and now you got us growing up like

00:34:11

the Jolly Green Giant.

00:34:13

Out of character, the captain might also

00:34:15

be colorblind

00:34:17

because I just looked up puce and that's like a really

00:34:19

pink color, so my apologies.

00:34:21

That's the wrong color.

00:34:24

It's a nice sea foam.

00:34:25

A nice pale chartreuse.

00:34:27

A nice sea foam green.

00:34:29

We can't just use that as a plot contrivance

00:34:31

every time something bad.

00:34:33

It turns out he's colorblind.

00:34:35

No, that was my mistake.

00:34:37

I said it and I was like, wait a minute.

00:34:39

I don't think that is what you think it is.

00:34:43

I think you were thinking of mauve.

00:34:46

I think it's...

00:34:47

I think it's pronounced chartreuse.

00:34:51

Are you talking about Darth Maulve?

00:34:53

Yeah.

00:34:55

He's got his own show now.

00:35:01

Well, to be honest,

00:35:02

we were all quite ghosted.

00:35:05

Well, it's kind of hard to say.

00:35:07

You know, once we got into our ghostly riot, you know, we I hate to use the word black out because, quite frankly, we don't have a real form of consciousness the way that we used to.

00:35:18

But time kind of got away from us.

00:35:22

And when we stopped all of our rioting, it just looked like this.

00:35:27

It was very ghostly.

00:35:30

Is this actoplasm?

00:35:36

Well, we had a riot to distract them.

00:35:38

We were real scary.

00:35:42

And Charlie over there, he started throwing cannonballs.

00:35:45

And we had chains.

00:35:47

And we took their chains and went, ah!

00:35:50

And we had a real good time.

00:35:52

It's been a long time since we've really been able to ghost it up like that.

00:36:00

And who else?

00:36:01

Charlie.

00:36:03

No, no, Charlie's still here.

00:36:05

Charlie and a ghost who you all know is named Charlie pops out from behind a barrel and he goes, still here.

00:36:11

What does Charlie look like?

00:36:18

Charlie is like the old man of the boat.

00:36:21

You know, the really skinny, scrawny guy that you think there's no way this man could possibly be working on a ship like this.

00:36:27

And yet he is.

00:36:30

You see him carry two barrels over his arm, but he's like the shortest, skinniest little guy.

00:36:35

I think he looks like an angry Mickey Rooney.

00:36:40

Yeah, like a real pathetic Mickey Rooney.

00:36:45

Yeah, Bridget hates Mickey Rooney.

00:36:47

Mickey Rooney is pathetic.

00:36:49

Thank you.

00:36:51

His third wife, Barbara, was murdered.

00:36:56

Allegedly.

00:36:56

What was that?

00:36:58

No, she was murdered.

00:36:59

Barbara was murdered?

00:37:01

Murdered.

00:37:01

No.

00:37:03

Murdered.

00:37:04

You can't say that word anymore.

00:37:05

Oh, she was unalived, although he didn't say that.

00:37:08

She was unalived.

00:37:13

Yeah.

00:37:13

Oh, gosh.

00:37:14

So is this green shit going to go away,

00:37:15

or are we just going to have to sleep with a nightlight on tonight?

00:37:19

You don't need the nightlight.

00:37:20

The glow does it for you.

00:37:22

That's what I meant.

00:37:22

The glow is the nightlight.

00:37:24

You keep making a lot of decisions.

00:37:26

Who told you you could repaint our ship a green?

00:37:29

it's not repainted

00:37:31

I think you might be right

00:37:32

it might just be a little ectoplasm

00:37:35

listen we could do a few

00:37:37

you know

00:37:40

I could understand if this was

00:37:41

some kind of shade of pink but it's green

00:37:46

look we could do a few

00:37:48

exorcisms if you don't mind losing the crew

00:37:49

and I'm sure that'll take down the ghostly

00:37:51

green pale just a little bit

00:37:53

wait we don't want to lose the crew

00:37:55

they're useful and Charlie

00:37:56

you know he's

00:37:58

he's trying to get his stripes

00:38:00

he's about to get his wings

00:38:02

this ship has had a

00:38:04

ghost

00:38:06

this ship has had a ghost crew

00:38:08

for quite some time now

00:38:10

you know like people living in a

00:38:12

house that leave their mark

00:38:14

the ghost is they're just leaving their mark

00:38:16

on the ship

00:38:19

they're ghostly pissing

00:38:20

on the ship

00:38:22

just got a mark on their place

00:38:24

no I meant you know how people

00:38:26

You know, you find handprints in certain places where you touch things and certain spots get scratched and scuffed as you live there.

00:38:33

This is just, you know, a little scuffing, a little ghostly scuffing.

00:38:39

But surely this doesn't bother you too much, right?

00:38:42

I mean, it's just a little green.

00:38:47

I mean, probably not.

00:38:48

I'm sure nothing bad can come of green except that hat.

00:38:52

But, well, my goodness!

00:38:55

And this is the first time the captain's actually seen your hat.

00:38:59

Squish, and he goes, that's a hell of a hat.

00:39:02

It's beautiful, right?

00:39:05

I mean, it is very green.

00:39:09

I know, it's the perfect shade of green to blend in.

00:39:17

To blend in, son.

00:39:19

I don't know what you're blending into, but it's very green.

00:39:23

Into all the green that's around us.

00:39:27

Well, yeah, I guess into this

00:39:30

green mist.

00:39:32

Actually, you know what?

00:39:33

You're right.

00:39:36

I mean, it's like, it's almost

00:39:37

the same.

00:39:38

Well, it's like,

00:39:39

you know what?

00:39:43

The hat was hidden.

00:39:44

You caught me there.

00:39:46

You caught me there.

00:39:47

I did not see the hat until it was pointed

00:39:50

out to me.

00:39:51

No one knew you were wearing a hat.

00:39:53

Mission accomplished.

00:39:56

He didn't even pay attention to me, really.

00:39:59

So he didn't know I was here.

00:40:04

But tell me, how did your visit into Lockport go?

00:40:06

Did you find what you were looking for?

00:40:12

Yeah, I think so.

00:40:13

I mean, we've got some leads.

00:40:17

Leads are good.

00:40:18

Leads are good.

00:40:19

Not a hot date.

00:40:21

You have a date, all three of you.

00:40:25

Which leads me to my next question

00:40:27

Who's going on this

00:40:28

How

00:40:32

Who's what

00:40:34

I say we do some shenanigans

00:40:36

And see which one of us she likes the most

00:40:40

Oh I've seen that episode before

00:40:43

Is it called Dumb and Dumber

00:40:46

No because there's only two Dumb and Dumbers

00:40:50

There's three

00:40:50

I think one of us should go on the Dumb and Dumber

00:40:53

Dumber

00:41:05

I got like half that plan.

00:41:06

Did you guys get any more?

00:41:10

I wasn't afraid of.

00:41:12

Yeah.

00:41:13

Oh?

00:41:15

Oh.

00:41:16

Yes, we can hear you.

00:41:19

The other one

00:41:21

pretends to be the server

00:41:23

and the other one plays the piano.

00:41:28

Does anyone of us know how to play the piano?

00:41:32

Yeah, I do. Thank you for asking.

00:41:34

In service of what?

00:41:37

I mean, she's already seen us.

00:41:42

I just thought it would be kind of fun to do.

00:41:46

Aren't you the waiter?

00:41:48

I mean, because our waiter wasn't with you earlier.

00:41:53

no

00:41:56

I'm pretty sure he was the one that told me you murdered everyone

00:42:00

yeah

00:42:01

isn't he the one I wanted for all that butt shooting

00:42:06

butt shooters

00:42:09

no that was a guy in a top hat

00:42:14

that's true

00:42:16

yeah so you have a date

00:42:17

you have a date with the three of you have one date

00:42:20

one girl um hey that's a that's very generous of you and but wester vale sorry wester oh yeah

00:42:28

how is the old duck oh that's right you guys were lovers well well okay oh yeah

00:42:36

in character and outside of character yeah

00:42:44

he really missed you bud i'm on the floor laughing pointing

00:42:50

oh oh oh sweet sweet wester but you know you never you never dock in the same port twice so

00:42:58

you know it was just too short too short to be who was the doctor's port

00:43:06

if you don't mind me asking which one of you two was the dock

00:43:10

that's which one of us the what was the dock and what was the port oh you can't ask that

00:43:17

you don't mind me asking

00:43:20

oh no I mind you asking

00:43:29

I don't talk about

00:43:32

my love life but I will tell you this

00:43:34

he was a very very

00:43:36

kind man he was very sweet

00:43:38

and uh

00:43:39

you know really interested in ghosts honestly

00:43:42

I took him from

00:43:43

from all the way to Duskfall

00:43:46

back and he had a great time.

00:43:47

I think we told him that she were.

00:43:51

I'm sure you

00:43:52

both had a great time.

00:43:53

I think he would love you more.

00:43:57

You think so?

00:43:58

I think he'd love you even more now.

00:44:00

Now that you're actually

00:44:01

close.

00:44:03

You know, I didn't even think about that.

00:44:05

Yeah, no, I've had

00:44:07

many friends of the sea,

00:44:09

as you would say, and

00:44:12

passengers on my ship.

00:44:13

And I have to say, Wester is one I always think

00:44:16

fondly.

00:44:17

Well, he thinks you fondly too.

00:44:20

And you knew who he was

00:44:21

the whole time and you couldn't tell us where to find him.

00:44:25

We didn't get his name until we got the book.

00:44:29

No, we had his name at the back.

00:44:30

You got it on the back of the map I gave you.

00:44:33

I gave you that map.

00:44:35

I told you his name.

00:44:36

That was out of character.

00:44:39

Well, this is in character.

00:44:40

I told you his name.

00:44:42

No.

00:44:48

we were in the middle of of of a fake riot i mean there wasn't much time i was busy

00:44:55

getting the ship into place and rioting up the crew and old charlie you know you got to keep an

00:45:00

eye on him god damn it you're right and charlie he's a wily son of a bitch

00:45:09

well look look boys what time uh what time is your your sweet little shindig

00:45:16

oh shit oh shit did anyone get that oh god was it six at jorge's

00:45:26

6 30 at jorge's uh nine o'clock i wrote down but i think that was a different nine o'clock

00:45:37

alright so this is what we should do

00:45:40

Juckles you'll go there from 8 to 10

00:45:43

Atch is 10 to 12

00:45:44

and I'll go 6 to 8

00:45:50

this seems like a

00:45:52

three stooges sketch

00:45:55

this is what seems like

00:45:56

the three stooges sketch this part

00:46:02

yeah

00:46:04

got all our bases covered then

00:46:07

is this your plan

00:46:09

it's my plan

00:46:12

and then when she shows up

00:46:14

whoever's there can radio the other two

00:46:18

and then we

00:46:18

sneak in and play the piano

00:46:21

or be the server

00:46:24

what is with it

00:46:26

nobody wants to play a piano

00:46:27

and be the server

00:46:32

someone does

00:46:34

Why don't you play the piano and be the server?

00:46:38

I don't know how to play the piano.

00:46:40

And I've never done front of the house part.

00:46:43

So he's going on the date.

00:46:48

That's where his expertise is.

00:46:52

Is the date part, yes.

00:46:57

All right, well.

00:46:58

I mean, unless if anyone else has a better plan

00:47:00

or can remember what time we set this up for.

00:47:04

I'm pretty sure it's whatever time we decide

00:47:07

Yeah I'd say it's 9 o'clock

00:47:10

Alright

00:47:11

I have an in with the game master

00:47:12

I'll make sure it happens

00:47:16

You know what's funny I realized as I didn't

00:47:18

Write it down I think I know what it is

00:47:20

All I wrote down for last week

00:47:22

All I wrote down for last week is I got level 1 harm

00:47:25

For shame

00:47:26

Good

00:47:27

That sounds about right

00:47:32

Yeah

00:47:35

Your rooms are just as we left them.

00:47:37

You still have your laboratories

00:47:39

and your kitchens and your what-have-yous.

00:47:42

It's a galley.

00:47:45

Oh, yeah.

00:47:45

We all sleep in the captain's quarters.

00:47:47

Yeah.

00:47:48

Yeah.

00:47:49

I saw the bunk bed.

00:47:50

Yes.

00:47:51

Cute, right?

00:47:54

Fits us perfectly.

00:47:54

So much glass.

00:47:56

So much glass laying around the bottom.

00:47:57

Yeah, but we'll get that cleaned up.

00:48:00

Oh, no.

00:48:01

Charlie's been on top of it.

00:48:03

God damn it, Charlie.

00:48:05

You're being a real hero this episode.

00:48:08

Yeah.

00:48:09

I feel like I just met you.

00:48:10

And you're already solving all my problems.

00:48:17

Next thing you know, he's going to tell us

00:48:18

he's swept out and rebuilt

00:48:21

TD's nest up there.

00:48:28

Yeah, you take a look around the ship

00:48:29

and it has been pretty well cleaned

00:48:32

maintain. Not that you had left it particularly

00:48:35

bad, but after the

00:48:36

riot, it was a little messy. And you know the

00:48:38

captain's a real stinkler for cleanliness.

00:48:41

So he

00:48:43

yeah, it's a little bit

00:48:44

nicer. Still green, but nicer.

00:48:56

14 o'clock when we have to wake up to

00:48:58

go to the date?

00:49:01

Sure.

00:49:02

Well, I mean, we don't have to sleep all at the same time.

00:49:07

Oh, I thought that's kind of how we did things, though.

00:49:14

It's hard to sleep without you guys in the same room.

00:49:16

I think he's trying to say he can't go to sleep comfortably unless he knows we're nearby.

00:49:21

Okay, we have to watch him sleep.

00:49:23

Yeah.

00:49:25

No, not watch me sleep, but, you know, there's just some noises that are like, it's like white noise.

00:49:31

Captain's Yarr every once in a while

00:49:33

randomly. Oh, while he's sleeping?

00:49:35

Yeah, I know. I find that really annoying.

00:49:37

Yeah.

00:49:39

Uncle's faint odor

00:49:41

of onion.

00:49:43

I haven't even had an onion today.

00:49:48

You know what they say?

00:49:48

It keeps the doctor away.

00:49:51

Yeah, it also keeps everyone else away.

00:49:54

Except for me.

00:49:55

It puts me to sleep

00:49:57

when you eat an onion

00:49:58

and it comes out your pores.

00:50:02

okay well do you have an onion then

00:50:06

yeah there's a bunch in the galley

00:50:09

all right

00:50:12

that's kitchen

00:50:14

well I guess we could take a nap I mean

00:50:16

what else like I could do some of my

00:50:18

what do you call them vices

00:50:20

you can tinker

00:50:22

or we can do vices

00:50:25

I forgot those were a thing

00:50:29

Andy's that your vices sleeping

00:50:31

Yeah, go to sleep.

00:50:34

Just like the past three weeks in real life.

00:50:37

Yeah, would it kill you to shut the fuck up?

00:50:44

Literally or figuratively?

00:50:46

Yes.

00:50:51

I thought I had my vices written down somewhere.

00:50:55

If I stop talking in this dark, dark house,

00:50:59

The ghosts are getting...

00:51:02

Yeah, but you're not afraid of ghosts.

00:51:05

I'm totally afraid of ghosts.

00:51:08

I thought we overcame that.

00:51:13

Nope.

00:51:13

Yes, you did.

00:51:14

That was one of your crew upgrades, I think.

00:51:19

Oh.

00:51:20

Well, then IRL.

00:51:22

Now he's strangely attracted to ghosts.

00:51:25

Now he's addicted to the ghosts.

00:51:27

You live by the ghosts, you die.

00:51:28

by the ghost.

00:51:32

I don't want to die by the ghost.

00:51:38

So just to recap, you guys do have

00:51:41

vices, yes.

00:51:44

Chuckles, yours

00:51:45

is women.

00:51:47

You have been

00:51:49

known to frequent

00:51:50

houses and get your head pet

00:51:52

in places. You also

00:51:55

work on tinkering in your spare time. That's a

00:51:56

vice, but it's a thing that you do.

00:51:59

um uh uh chuckles uh sorry that was you chuckles uh patches you are a drinker and also you read

00:52:09

too much that is a vice of yours um you haven't been working on anything recently any projects

00:52:15

recently but that is your vice and uh squish cooking was your vice i believe and gambling i think

00:52:23

yes yes and gambling

00:52:27

so after a quick little power nap to to re refresh you um you know you guys are free to do

00:52:35

if there's any of that sounds interesting otherwise we can go on right to the next

00:52:39

next part but it's up to you i need to leave some engaging yeah yeah uh because you are traumatized

00:52:48

right now what yeah uh so i think with trauma uh it's usually the stress hold on let me

00:53:03

take a quick gander here i remember how it works with stress i don't remember how it works with

00:53:08

trauma right i assume you just go backwards but

00:53:16

Well, let me double check.

00:53:17

I don't think so. I think you have to make like a point to get it fixed.

00:53:25

Yeah.

00:53:32

We all had trouble, but then we just, it was in between seasons, so it was erased.

00:53:37

Yeah.

00:53:48

And what did you pick?

00:53:50

Your trauma.

00:53:52

What's up?

00:53:53

Vicious.

00:53:56

So with vicious, this is what the book says.

00:54:00

Yeah.

00:54:02

You seek out opportunities to hurt people, even for no good reason.

00:54:07

I just did this last week.

00:54:09

you butt shot a bunch of students

00:54:13

um yes

00:54:15

so I would say yes in order to

00:54:17

cure your trauma you do have to make a concerted effort

00:54:19

to go out and kind of repair either

00:54:21

do something to counteract that

00:54:23

to repair kind of the damage you've done

00:54:26

to the butt shoot or just in general

00:54:51

Okay. Yeah. So, so I want to make sure, cause you did break up a little bit. You're going

00:54:55

go hang out with Didi and look at her snow globes

00:54:57

with her as a way to kind of relax and

00:54:59

reconnect.

00:55:01

Look at the snow globes and see

00:55:09

Sorry, you cut out. I didn't hear you.

00:55:11

Yeah, I don't know.

00:55:12

Oh!

00:55:15

Go to the different churches

00:55:16

in the...

00:55:20

And see which one might be good for

00:55:22

like a meditation.

00:55:25

and then i'll go to that one to meditate and calm down to try to get rid of my viciousness

00:55:34

sure um so you dd kind you go up to where uh to dd's nest um where she's kind of kept her things

00:55:43

and there she's got it a lot of little trinkets and stuff from her from her her travels um but

00:55:49

you do see all of the snow globes on there.

00:55:52

Dee has collected.

00:55:54

Let me take a look.

00:55:56

What I have.

00:55:57

I think three.

00:56:00

Five.

00:56:04

Okay.

00:56:06

Eternal bliss.

00:56:10

Yeah.

00:56:10

So she's got three snow globes.

00:56:11

I can,

00:56:12

you can read the names of them.

00:56:14

You see one called temple of the downward dog.

00:56:18

The other one is called Lady of Perpetual Woe.

00:56:22

And then one is called Church of the Cloud of Night.

00:56:25

Wait, we had one.

00:56:26

Wasn't there?

00:56:28

Oh, yeah, Perpetual Woe.

00:56:29

I thought there was one like Perpetual Happiness,

00:56:32

but I think I just got it confused with Perpetual Woe.

00:56:36

Yes.

00:56:37

That's life in general.

00:56:38

Yeah.

00:56:40

You have stolen pamphlets from two different cult leaders.

00:56:45

One was for Church of the Downward Dog and one for the Church of Perpetual.

00:56:52

Can I see which one?

00:56:55

Or can I read the pamphlet?

00:56:57

Holy shit, that was close.

00:57:00

Oh, really?

00:57:01

Because it's just lightning here, too.

00:57:03

Yeah, there was a lightning strike and, like, it lit up the whole house.

00:57:10

Oh, shit, here comes another one.

00:57:13

Downward Dog.

00:57:16

what they do.

00:57:19

Yeah, so you,

00:57:20

I think you stole that.

00:57:22

I think you pickpocketed that.

00:57:23

So you do have it.

00:57:25

You open it up

00:57:26

and you see a bunch of people

00:57:27

who have like these

00:57:28

like bright smiling faces on it,

00:57:30

but they're all doing

00:57:31

the downward dog,

00:57:32

which I don't know

00:57:32

if you know yoga,

00:57:34

but that is basically

00:57:35

where you are

00:57:37

on all fours.

00:57:39

Like a dog.

00:57:40

With your ass in the air.

00:57:41

Like a dog, but

00:57:43

with your ass in the air.

00:57:44

Yeah, it's not like you're on your hands and knees, like you're pretending to be a dog.

00:57:50

You're exactly in a triangle.

00:57:52

Right, yeah.

00:57:53

Yeah, I'm going to go to that one.

00:57:57

Okay, are you going by yourself?

00:57:59

Yeah, I'll let those two do their vices and stuff separate.

00:58:04

Okay, sure.

00:58:09

I want to make sure I have the right one.

00:58:13

Well, Juggles, it's just you and me.

00:58:17

Yep.

00:58:18

You and me in the mist.

00:58:21

The green mist.

00:58:23

Don't know who that is.

00:58:26

Owen Wilson.

00:58:27

Never heard of her.

00:58:33

Got him.

00:58:38

Wow.

00:58:38

What is this going on here?

00:58:42

And activate.

00:58:43

There we go.

00:58:44

Oh, Andy can't see it, though, because he's colorblind.

00:58:48

Because I'm colored.

00:58:50

What?

00:58:51

Do you two see it?

00:58:52

Yes.

00:58:54

Nope.

00:58:56

Okay, let me...

00:58:57

Well, if it helps you find it, it's Adobe Stock number 362997221.

00:59:03

Oh, okay.

00:59:04

That's great.

00:59:04

Thank you.

00:59:06

Well, Boo said he couldn't see it.

00:59:08

I was just telling him that if he wanted to look it up, I was just trying to give him the Adobe Stock number.

00:59:13

but he wasn't listening.

00:59:14

What was it?

00:59:15

Zero two nine nine six one.

00:59:17

No,

00:59:18

it was three six two nine nine seven two two one.

00:59:21

Oh,

00:59:21

I already looked up the other one.

00:59:23

It is now in the discord chat as well,

00:59:26

which is a little bit,

00:59:27

you know,

00:59:27

it's more useful.

00:59:29

But yes,

00:59:29

so you go to this temple and it is a brightly lit room.

00:59:36

This is a very,

00:59:38

I want to say welcoming place.

00:59:40

It's not like it's fancy gold or anything.

00:59:43

It's just a very well brightly lit room.

00:59:45

And when you enter, you see that there are just rows and rows of people in the downward dog position.

00:59:53

Butts in the air.

00:59:55

Butts in the air.

00:59:57

And they're all in different walks of life, different clothing.

01:00:03

Some people look like they're wearing like actual monks robes, like there may be officiates here.

01:00:09

Some are just clearly in their street wear.

01:00:11

wearing whatever they have.

01:00:14

So you enter into the temple

01:00:18

and you have green fist.

01:00:22

You enter into the temple

01:00:24

and there's somebody standing there to greet you

01:00:26

and she goes, oh, hello.

01:00:28

Welcome to the temple of the downward dog.

01:00:32

Do you feel the need to practice today?

01:00:38

I think so.

01:00:39

I got to get rid of some viciousness.

01:00:44

Well, a vicious dog is not a good dog.

01:00:50

If you feel the need that you need to...

01:00:52

It depends on what you look for in a dog.

01:00:55

And if it's not a good dog, it's a bad dog.

01:00:59

It's so true.

01:01:01

You're not even here.

01:01:03

All right, I'll go back to sleep.

01:01:07

Anybody can be a good dog.

01:01:10

just come this way

01:01:11

we'll find a good spot for you

01:01:12

and we'll begin the process

01:01:14

she leads you into kind of just a

01:01:17

middle of the group

01:01:19

and she hands you a roll

01:01:21

a rolled up fabric

01:01:22

this is your mat

01:01:24

and encourages you to spread it out

01:01:26

and then she says

01:01:28

alright you're just going to put your feet

01:01:29

at the back of the yoga mat

01:01:31

and your hands

01:01:34

up towards the top

01:01:35

and begin the stretch

01:01:38

is everyone facing the same direction

01:01:44

yes everyone is facing away from the door towards the front of the church which has

01:01:49

these big glass windows letting in as much light as possible i'm gonna go the other way

01:01:57

all right i'm gonna put my feet and butt towards the window

01:02:02

uh the officiant says you know normally we we all give our praise towards the sun i guess you can go

01:02:09

the other way but um you know it really works better if you face if you face oh okay well all

01:02:15

right uh she says as she drifts off as you uh clearly make your position known literally

01:02:24

uh yes all right so as as you get into position at first nothing seems to happen um you're sitting

01:02:34

there the blood's mildly rushing to your head um and you're you're feeling the stretch um but you're

01:02:42

not feeling much else.

01:02:44

But then, slowly,

01:02:47

something starts to creep over you.

01:02:49

Go ahead and roll just any,

01:02:52

just six die, just a die.

01:02:54

One die, sorry.

01:02:55

One die, one six-sided die.

01:02:58

All right.

01:02:58

I cannot even see the dice.

01:03:03

Okay, yeah, if you want to roll that

01:03:05

and just let us know.

01:03:07

Or I can roll it in here, too.

01:03:09

That's fine, too.

01:03:09

Yeah, just roll it.

01:03:10

Just tell us the number.

01:03:11

We'll believe you.

01:03:13

Yeah.

01:03:15

Wow, weird, Andy.

01:03:16

You rolled all sixes all night.

01:03:19

Wow, you're so cool.

01:03:21

How'd you get a nat 20 on a D6 die?

01:03:27

That good, my boy.

01:03:29

That good.

01:03:33

One, two, six.

01:03:40

Okay, you rolled a two.

01:03:43

Oh, boy.

01:03:45

Shenanigans.

01:03:45

It's a shenanigans, no.

01:03:48

So a feeling that comes over you is the feeling of love.

01:03:55

You are feeling an intense kind of like, it starts off very mild, right?

01:04:01

Like you're sitting there, you're feeling stretched,

01:04:04

and you're starting to feel this warmth in you.

01:04:10

So this kind of.

01:04:15

No.

01:04:16

Knock it off.

01:04:18

The sun is facing my butt.

01:04:20

That's what I assume.

01:04:20

Yeah, that's true.

01:04:22

He's getting his butt warm.

01:04:25

So I will let you pick if this is a memory of someone who's loved you

01:04:30

or feelings of love you have towards somebody else.

01:04:34

But you do need to explain your feelings of love that you're feeling right now.

01:04:38

Oh, it's going to be feelings.

01:04:39

But you do need to explain your emotions to us all right now.

01:04:43

It's going to be feelings of someone I love.

01:04:50

And it is Lady High Hill.

01:04:57

Dun, dun, dun.

01:05:00

Yeah, in the solitude and the silence, as you feel this warmth of love come over you,

01:05:06

you realize that you have strong feelings for Lady High Hill.

01:05:12

That's not good.

01:05:13

They've never been directly.

01:05:16

You're not here.

01:05:18

Yeah, I'm still jealous.

01:05:20

Directly said to you.

01:05:23

She's obviously never really, like, talked to you in any sort of way

01:05:28

that would give you feelings of romantic, but you definitely feel them.

01:05:31

You see her lovely pink face.

01:05:34

You remember the sound of her voice.

01:05:37

And the love that you feel for her, it fills you with a kind of inner light and inner joy.

01:05:47

And you've decided in this moment you are going to change things about yourself because you want to be loveable for Lady High Hill.

01:05:57

Change. Change. Change.

01:06:00

Change.

01:06:03

So you can take that with you and decide how you want to play that out for now.

01:06:08

But you have this moment of clear recollection that you will, in this moment,

01:06:15

change some factor about yourself to make yourself lovable for Lady High Hill.

01:06:21

Or anyone. Just make yourself appealing in any way at all.

01:06:25

Just stop butt shooting.

01:06:27

Yes.

01:06:30

It's only been one day since I butt shot.

01:06:33

Yeah, but I can tell you have a problem.

01:06:34

This is Tiger's nut punching all over again.

01:06:37

I stopped that.

01:06:38

You guys kept trying to get me started.

01:06:40

It was a huge plot point.

01:06:42

And we've been working on

01:06:44

the Hotman's

01:06:46

addictions, and now we're working

01:06:48

on your butt shooting, and we're not going to concern

01:06:49

any of us about my problems.

01:06:56

Let's see guys do their voices.

01:07:01

A lot of typing.

01:07:06

okay no but because over this last sometime recently i learned this word and i always forget

01:07:12

what it is but it makes me laugh it's called butt stroke uh it's when you hit somebody with the

01:07:17

barrel of or the butt of like a shotgun you know it's in a piss instead of a pistol whip it's called

01:07:22

a butt stroke and i you guys were talking about the butt and i couldn't remember what it was called

01:07:26

uh it's called butch it's called butt stroke and it makes me laugh every single time

01:07:30

But you're mature.

01:07:35

Okay.

01:07:36

While that moment of revelation is happening,

01:07:39

Chuckles and Patches, you are on the ship.

01:07:43

What are you doing?

01:07:44

Well, Chuckles, how you doing?

01:07:47

Yar?

01:07:47

Yar.

01:07:48

I imagine I'm sitting on the top bunk just with my slippers on,

01:07:51

hanging out.

01:07:52

You notice Squish has not been around for a while?

01:07:56

Who?

01:07:58

Squish?

01:07:59

Oh, that murderous psycho?

01:08:03

He is definitely butt murderous.

01:08:05

That's definitely a word I came up with.

01:08:09

But he's definitely a little butt murderously recently.

01:08:13

He likes to butt shoot.

01:08:16

Well, I mean, it is just you and me, you know.

01:08:19

You want to hang out?

01:08:20

Are you coming on to me?

01:08:22

No.

01:08:24

You know, you made comments that you feel like we've been kind of, you know,

01:08:27

distant lately and you're not been happy with

01:08:29

the lies I keep

01:08:32

saying. I think I said the second part.

01:08:35

You know,

01:08:37

I just figured, you know, maybe

01:08:38

you want to go have a drink?

01:08:42

No. I want to

01:08:44

practice my reading.

01:08:47

All right.

01:08:48

Well, fine.

01:08:49

I can practice my reading, too,

01:08:51

because it turns out it's my vice.

01:08:53

And I stole a book tonight.

01:08:54

Turns out you had tacos for dinner.

01:08:56

And you're going to have to practice your reading on the toilet.

01:08:59

That's really funny because out of character, Bridget, when I got tacos tonight,

01:09:04

and I finished all of them but one, and I put it in my pocket,

01:09:09

and I forgot it until like five minutes ago,

01:09:12

and I just pulled it out of my pocket while we were eating.

01:09:14

Pocket taco.

01:09:15

That is disgusting.

01:09:18

Pocket taco.

01:09:19

Well, it was a good thing you found it before you washed your pants.

01:09:23

It's a good thing I found it before I went to bed.

01:09:26

I got something in my pocket for you.

01:09:28

Are you sure?

01:09:30

Actually, let's put this into character.

01:09:33

Do you want a pocket taco?

01:09:35

It might be a Danish.

01:09:38

Like a blueberry taco?

01:09:40

No, no.

01:09:40

I threw that out.

01:09:43

Yeah, blueberry Danish.

01:09:45

No, not really.

01:09:47

I mean, I'll eat a lot of things,

01:09:48

but probably not out of your pocket.

01:09:51

All right.

01:09:52

Fair enough.

01:09:52

What about what you're reading?

01:09:55

don't worry about it

01:09:57

fine, be that way

01:09:58

I am going to be like that

01:10:01

here's another thing, I don't even want you to know

01:10:02

I'm learning to read because I feel like that would be

01:10:04

an admission of defeat

01:10:07

that would be our one true connection

01:10:09

because it's the one vice I have that doesn't

01:10:11

lose me plastered on the floor

01:10:12

it's a wonder no one connects with you more

01:10:15

it's a wonder no one connects

01:10:17

to you, I don't get this

01:10:18

I offer to help you, I offer to

01:10:20

just to drink with you with your advice

01:10:22

I offer to read with you with your advice

01:10:24

and you keep telling me you're mad at me,

01:10:26

I don't know what you want from me.

01:10:27

I helped make us become co-captains.

01:10:30

I mean, you were there too, and so was Squish.

01:10:31

We're a team, and now I feel like, you know,

01:10:34

yeah, I lied to you, but that was like a year ago.

01:10:38

Okay.

01:10:40

All right.

01:10:43

Maybe if we keep yelling, we'll make up.

01:10:49

I don't know how else to do.

01:10:53

I'm just saying, I just want to practice reading.

01:10:56

And I feel like I've been trying to hide it from everyone.

01:11:00

Why?

01:11:02

Something to hide.

01:11:03

Okay, well, that's a real...

01:11:06

It is.

01:11:08

You know what's a thing you should hide is an obsession with butt shooting.

01:11:12

Hide that.

01:11:14

An alcoholic problem.

01:11:15

I feel like you're yelling at me for other people's problems.

01:11:21

I just want to be your friend.

01:11:23

And I feel like, you know, sorry for insulting you with my friendship.

01:11:27

I just, I didn't say like, you know, you're disgusting and I hate you.

01:11:33

All I said was I'm trying to learn and keep it a secret.

01:11:38

And then you told me it was dumb.

01:11:40

No, no, that's not.

01:11:42

Well, now you're out of context.

01:11:44

I just, all right, fine.

01:11:48

Go read.

01:11:50

I'm sorry I bothered you.

01:11:51

I'm sorry I said anything.

01:11:52

If you need help with anything, not necessarily reading, because I know you're protective about your reading privately, because that's just so exciting to watch.

01:12:02

When did you read?

01:12:04

When did you learn to read?

01:12:07

When I was a lad.

01:12:08

All right.

01:12:09

My father taught me to read.

01:12:12

Well.

01:12:13

Yeah.

01:12:14

He had quite the voracious library.

01:12:16

Well, can you see how someone who's starting to read when they are 30 or 40 years old feels then, if you have been doing it since you were a lad?

01:12:28

It's one of those things I feel like, you know when you get somebody into a new hobby and they start to start mildly interested into it and you're like really excited to show them it?

01:12:37

That's sort of how I feel.

01:12:39

Hmm.

01:12:42

It doesn't matter.

01:12:43

Reading something I kind of do privately anyway, and I mean, I just thought, you know, since we're alone on the boat, you know, I'm not drunk yet.

01:12:53

And you're, you know, not tinkering yet.

01:12:57

I don't know.

01:12:58

Hang out.

01:12:59

But all right, fine.

01:12:59

Did you need me to tinker something?

01:13:03

Not really.

01:13:04

Did you have anything you wanted to tinker?

01:13:06

Reading.

01:13:11

I stole a book tonight, Bridget.

01:13:14

Did I steal a book two sessions ago?

01:13:16

I think Squish stole it for you.

01:13:19

I thought I stole the Valium 8 book.

01:13:28

Oh, okay.

01:13:29

Yeah, Bridget is completely silent.

01:13:34

We didn't hear a word you said.

01:13:35

No, we can see your lips moving.

01:13:38

I got a lot of that.

01:13:42

From what I saw from your lips, you said, Andy's wrong and I'm right.

01:13:47

And Tiger's handsome.

01:13:49

And Tiger is very handsome.

01:13:53

What?

01:13:54

No, we can't see you.

01:13:55

We don't know if you're handsome.

01:14:00

Can you hear me now?

01:14:00

Yes.

01:14:03

Oh, I'm sorry.

01:14:03

I don't know what happened.

01:14:04

I wasn't muted.

01:14:05

The mic stopped working.

01:14:08

Yeah.

01:14:09

somebody stole that book.

01:14:10

I don't,

01:14:11

I,

01:14:12

I want to say it was you captain.

01:14:13

Cause you got greedy and wanted to steal another book.

01:14:16

Um,

01:14:16

but yes,

01:14:17

you got,

01:14:17

you did steal a book.

01:14:21

He wanted to make sure he stole some,

01:14:24

uh,

01:14:24

then he got into the whole kerfuffle.

01:14:26

Um,

01:14:27

he tried to steal it and they slammed on the ground.

01:14:31

Yes.

01:14:31

Uh,

01:14:31

you do have the book still in your possession.

01:14:34

Um,

01:14:34

I don't know how you all looked at it.

01:14:37

I don't know who picked it up afterwards,

01:14:39

but.

01:14:39

um you do have lots of books in your possession uh can i pull out do you have one that would uh

01:14:46

that's good for like a beginner perhaps one that doesn't rhyme yeah yeah no i have one right here

01:14:52

it's uh let me see here it's called oh here it is uh it's a black book um it's a weathered and

01:14:58

torn it's um the ways and uh the ways and wiles of women how to succeed oh no you shouldn't give

01:15:06

Ah, this is a classic.

01:15:09

This is what I've only read.

01:15:11

That doesn't sound like a beginner's book.

01:15:13

No, well, you know, it's a true beginner's book, if you know what I mean, lad.

01:15:19

No, it's definitely, you know, it teaches you how to have confidence,

01:15:24

and it's not quite as lurid or as squeamish as you'd think.

01:15:29

I also have in here the A's and B's of reading your A's and B's.

01:15:35

with women.

01:15:37

It's a similar book, but it's

01:15:40

kind of like a lower grade level.

01:15:42

Are there pictures that fold out?

01:15:44

Oh, lots of pictures. Yeah, lots of pictures

01:15:46

with only one single letter sentences.

01:15:48

I honestly don't know why this is in my pocket.

01:15:51

It's probably because

01:15:52

my father gave it to me.

01:15:54

And you hate him.

01:15:56

I do hate him.

01:15:57

It's a complicated relationship.

01:16:00

Is he alive?

01:16:03

No.

01:16:05

Is he dead?

01:16:07

Very.

01:16:08

Is he a ghost?

01:16:10

Is he here right now?

01:16:11

Is it the Red Captain?

01:16:13

No.

01:16:15

Can we change the subject?

01:16:17

Daddy talk is kind of...

01:16:20

Daddy talk is the lowest form of conversation, if you want my opinion.

01:16:23

I was just trying to offer you a couple books.

01:16:25

I have more.

01:16:31

Here's the beginner's guide to being a ghost pirate.

01:16:34

The beginner's guide to being a ghost captain.

01:16:36

But I am a beginner reader, so I'm looking for something, you know,

01:16:40

maybe about, like, an anthropomorphic cat that is wearing an anthropomorphic hat.

01:16:48

Oh!

01:16:50

I have got here, it's called Cats.

01:16:54

Oh.

01:16:56

By T.S. Eliot.

01:16:59

Oh, so there's no punctuation.

01:17:01

Great.

01:17:02

No, just cats.

01:17:03

Okay.

01:17:05

It's about cats that dance and sing, but it's in book form.

01:17:09

And maybe this is why I'm just going to keep my reading to myself.

01:17:20

You gave me a book of poetry.

01:17:22

How am I supposed to learn from poetry?

01:17:25

It's a picture book.

01:17:26

It's by Dr. Seuss or T.H. White or T.H. Elliott.

01:17:29

I don't know who Seuss is.

01:17:31

T.S. Elliott.

01:17:32

T.S. Elliott.

01:17:33

Isn't T.S. Eliot a book?

01:17:35

Isn't he a poet?

01:17:36

Thomas Seuss Eliot.

01:17:38

It's Cats and the Hats.

01:17:40

How about that?

01:17:43

All right, yeah, that's more my speed,

01:17:46

not like the philosophical leanings of modern women.

01:17:51

Philosophical leanings.

01:17:52

It was the do's and do nots of womenry.

01:17:57

Yeah.

01:17:58

No.

01:18:00

It was something wilds of women.

01:18:02

Yeah, it was a wiles of women.

01:18:04

I wrote down the A's and B's of A's and B's with women.

01:18:09

The A's and B's of the bees and the birds.

01:18:12

Right, and you said they were all one-letter sentences.

01:18:16

One-letter sentences.

01:18:20

One-line sentences.

01:18:27

Someone related.

01:18:28

Oh, I was holding up my red card.

01:18:29

So I'm more related.

01:18:30

Me and Mel were talking to some friends, and we were like, you know, we would like to watch musicals, but we're just not, like, super into musicals.

01:18:38

And they're like, oh, yeah, we know the one to get you started.

01:18:40

And we're like, yeah, but pick one that's, like, not, like, super like a musical.

01:18:44

Because we liked Hamilton.

01:18:45

But, you know, maybe we'll branch out just a little bit.

01:18:49

And they told us to watch West Side Story, like the 1960s version.

01:18:55

and Mel and I watched it for like 10 minutes

01:18:56

and we're like this is the most musical

01:18:58

like most musical musical in the world

01:19:00

they were like street fighting with dance

01:19:02

we turned it off in 10 minutes

01:19:04

you did not understand what we were asking for

01:19:07

it's Romeo and Juliet

01:19:09

yeah

01:19:11

we knew that

01:19:12

yeah but it was just singing

01:19:14

and dance fighting which is

01:19:16

you know not what we were looking for

01:19:18

the best form of fighting

01:19:19

so you recommended a bunch of experimental poetry

01:19:23

when I told you I was learning to read.

01:19:25

But The Cat in the Hat, it's a better speed.

01:19:27

And I feel like I've read Redfish, Bluefish too many times.

01:19:32

Out of character, actually what I offered you was the original version of Cats.

01:19:40

Which was what?

01:19:41

Which was a book of poetry, but it's the most ridiculous poetry.

01:19:46

It's like Dr. Seuss poetry.

01:19:49

Yeah, so T.S. Eliot's Old Possum Book of Practical Cats.

01:19:53

is what Cats the musical is based on.

01:19:55

I just put part of it in the chat,

01:19:57

but it is like, yeah, it's just about cats.

01:20:00

And it does have pictures in it.

01:20:05

I think I like the cats in the hats more, though,

01:20:07

now that I've said it.

01:20:09

Yeah, Brandon will watch Cats with me.

01:20:11

Guess whose favorite musical it is?

01:20:13

Donald Trump.

01:20:13

My dad's.

01:20:15

Trump.

01:20:16

I tried to think of the most ridiculous answer

01:20:18

I could come up with, and you topped it.

01:20:21

But he does love cats. He loves musicals.

01:20:25

Trump does?

01:20:25

Yeah. They're great.

01:20:28

Of course he would. They're like, you know.

01:20:31

Bound bastard.

01:20:32

I think we lost Andy.

01:20:33

Offer him pheasant. He would rather have grouse.

01:20:37

All right.

01:20:38

I'm learning a lot here.

01:20:41

You're learning a lot about

01:20:43

poetry and plays.

01:20:45

Yep.

01:20:47

There's other ones.

01:20:49

If that's not up to your speed,

01:20:50

Here's some other poems you can find in that.

01:20:53

The Old Gumby Cat, a.k.a. Jenny Any Dodds.

01:20:59

Mungo Jerry and Rumpel Teaser.

01:21:00

Oh, Mungo Jerry.

01:21:03

Turns out he stole that name from a cat.

01:21:06

He stole that name from a cat.

01:21:11

Macavity, the mystery cat.

01:21:13

Bustopher Jones, the cat about town.

01:21:17

Shimble Shanks, the railway cat.

01:21:20

I bet you Andy's phone died.

01:21:24

Or maybe he died.

01:21:24

I'm thinking about that now.

01:21:26

Wow, what is going on with you tonight?

01:21:28

You're coming in hot.

01:21:29

Maybe the storm came in.

01:21:31

He didn't text me to tell me his phone died.

01:21:38

All right, well, to give back.

01:21:44

So, Chuckles, you have decided.

01:21:48

I just completely decided to shut down any...

01:21:53

I'm just kidding.

01:21:54

No, I'm reading this dumb-ass book.

01:21:57

All right.

01:21:59

So you're reading this dumb-ass book.

01:22:02

It's challenging.

01:22:04

Turns out Cats is going to be the musical you two watch.

01:22:10

You're going to love it.

01:22:12

You're going to love it.

01:22:13

Just don't ask questions.

01:22:15

You guys should just watch Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat.

01:22:19

okay

01:22:21

so this has just become musical recommendations

01:22:24

yes these are recommendations

01:22:25

for both my character and me

01:22:28

these are

01:22:29

very poor recommendations at that

01:22:31

yes

01:22:34

all right well

01:22:35

anyway go on

01:22:37

do I got a roll

01:22:39

yeah

01:22:41

so this is part of your learning how to read

01:22:43

skill

01:22:45

where's my clock

01:22:46

clock that we have. Yeah, let me find that clock here.

01:22:50

It's under

01:22:53

actors.

01:22:58

Maybe it's in the boat scene.

01:23:02

Could be.

01:23:04

I think that's what it was in there for a while.

01:23:07

Anyway, we can start a new one, too, because you did

01:23:09

level up the last time you were doing this, so we'll just create a

01:23:13

new one for you.

01:23:18

Speakers

01:23:21

Maybe it's in the laboratory

01:23:23

Nope, not down here either

01:23:26

It's almost as if I made no progress at all

01:23:32

Alright, there we go

01:23:33

We got some progress going

01:23:35

Learn how to read

01:23:38

Actually, you'll have to roll first

01:23:40

Let me take that back

01:23:43

learn how to read not to lead

01:23:46

we're gonna make this a six since your last one was

01:23:48

four yeah just go ahead and roll and uh see

01:23:52

see how it goes what should i roll

01:23:57

um let me double check

01:23:59

hello rec hello oh he's back

01:24:04

what'd you miss i'm reading but i'm gonna have to roll for it

01:24:10

That's all that happened in the past 15 minutes?

01:24:13

I was getting lecture.

01:24:16

Where were you at?

01:24:18

I was sitting here.

01:24:20

I was getting good reception.

01:24:22

Oh.

01:24:23

I was betting the phone died.

01:24:25

In character or not?

01:24:28

No, no character.

01:24:29

No, the phone got plenty of power.

01:24:32

So,

01:24:35

sorry, to reduce stress,

01:24:37

You roll your weakest resistance.

01:24:42

So in your case, it's going to be your resolve.

01:24:45

Yeah, I have no skills in resolve.

01:24:48

That's true.

01:25:00

Success.

01:25:03

Strangely.

01:25:03

Yes.

01:25:03

So, yeah.

01:25:05

So three.

01:25:07

suffer three stress. No, that's not right.

01:25:10

Because we take your lowest of the two.

01:25:12

Okay, yeah, so three.

01:25:14

I'm going to go ahead and

01:25:16

fill in your

01:25:20

your chart.

01:25:25

He's gone again.

01:25:26

I hope he's back again.

01:25:28

So I relieve the stress of three?

01:25:32

Yes, so you can relieve your stress.

01:25:34

Pristine little boy.

01:25:37

And you're going to go ahead and fill up that same amount for your target here.

01:25:45

Oops, there we go.

01:25:46

That's something there.

01:25:48

Three.

01:25:49

There we go.

01:25:51

Patches, so you see Chuckles.

01:25:54

He takes his book, the book that you've given him, and he sits down and begins to read it.

01:26:00

What do you do instead?

01:26:03

I drink.

01:26:05

all right uh what where do you go what do you grab uh i just pull out a bottle and uh you know

01:26:12

i start reading my own book uh i don't remember what books i have on me uh i don't remember if i

01:26:17

uh have the book so some of the ones i i have written down no uh you do not have the book that

01:26:23

was originally stolen uh you said that you have a beginner's guide to being a ghost pirate a

01:26:30

Beginner's Guide to Being a Ghost Captain.

01:26:32

You have A's and B's

01:26:34

of A's and B's with women.

01:26:36

Okay, I start reading my ghost captaining

01:26:38

books.

01:26:40

Okay.

01:26:44

Do you, I guess it doesn't really matter since you're

01:26:46

doing that and drinking, but go ahead and

01:26:48

roll your

01:26:51

resistance

01:26:52

roll.

01:27:01

sorry

01:27:07

where is resistance at I'm sorry

01:27:12

it's one of the upper level

01:27:15

it's like your lowest

01:27:16

if you just click on insight

01:27:18

that's going to be your role

01:27:20

insight

01:27:22

yeah

01:27:22

okay and it's roll like normal do i know nothing added yep it's just your normal

01:27:27

okay

01:27:33

okay you can uh reduce uh your four stress that was your high point

01:27:45

okay cool

01:27:49

cool um some hours tick by at some point um squish comes back aboard the boat he definitely

01:27:58

seems like he's a little bit lighter he's a little bit uh you know doesn't seem as as frowny faces

01:28:05

when he left um captain takes a look at his watch and he goes vicious yes you got rid of vicious

01:28:14

cool

01:28:19

so captain takes a look at his watch

01:28:21

and what

01:28:23

he's like so boys

01:28:26

you ready for your hot

01:28:28

dates there

01:28:30

oh yeah is this what you're

01:28:31

wearing he looks at the

01:28:33

three of you is this is this what you're wearing

01:28:36

and it pan you know

01:28:38

we take a look at you and you're in

01:28:40

kind of your

01:28:42

not even your best clothing.

01:28:44

It's the clothing you were wearing earlier,

01:28:45

the clothing you always seem to be wearing.

01:28:48

And it's definitely a wrinkle.

01:28:49

You spent one night sleeping in a hotel

01:28:53

in your own clothes.

01:28:54

So you're very kind of

01:28:57

less than

01:28:58

kemped at this point.

01:29:00

You don't like the way we're dressed?

01:29:02

Do you have anything better?

01:29:04

Wait a minute.

01:29:06

Do you have a wardrobe in this?

01:29:07

Have we looked for a wardrobe in here?

01:29:12

the wardrobe i mean i i have one i mean is it nice yeah but you don't have any need for clothes

01:29:20

yeah that's what i'm saying let's go right let's go right the captain's wardrobe

01:29:24

yeah i'm getting new duds he's a little bigger than me well we'll get you uh you know we'll get

01:29:32

you his short clothes.

01:29:35

Okay.

01:29:38

So if you want to raid the cabin

01:29:40

to the kitchen.

01:29:43

And he

01:29:44

puts on a banana peel.

01:29:48

No.

01:29:50

He gets some rose water

01:29:52

and puts it on like cologne.

01:29:53

And that's it.

01:29:57

I like the banana one more.

01:29:58

It's appealing.

01:30:01

Yeah, if I'm trying to attract Dee Dee.

01:30:04

Which you are.

01:30:05

Which I don't need to.

01:30:07

Dee Dee already loves me.

01:30:09

Yeah, because you tricked his brain.

01:30:11

Dee Dee is your love interest.

01:30:12

Dee Dee is your only love interest.

01:30:14

Yes, let me remind you

01:30:17

that you only

01:30:18

love Dee Dee and not my fiancé.

01:30:21

You weren't there.

01:30:23

You weren't there.

01:30:25

Yeah, but I can smell it on you.

01:30:27

Oh my god.

01:30:29

I can smell it on you.

01:30:35

It sounds like something like a distrustful husband would say.

01:30:39

It's like, I smell it on you.

01:30:40

Well, I am a distrustful husband.

01:30:44

That is true.

01:30:45

You don't know.

01:30:49

Don't make me say it again.

01:30:52

Patches, if you want to raid the wardrobe,

01:30:56

you can do a survey roll to see what you find.

01:31:08

survey says

01:31:20

okay uh what were you hoping to find in the wardrobe like a really really like like upper

01:31:27

class pirate, almost like

01:31:30

suit, but

01:31:31

frock.

01:31:33

Like a more

01:31:34

maybe black, maybe like a gray charcoal

01:31:37

color.

01:31:39

Oh, green.

01:31:42

Yeah, green.

01:31:44

Yeah, this is

01:31:45

why you've been so confused why he keeps calling

01:31:47

himself the red and gray pirate because to you

01:31:49

it's just like, it's just different.

01:31:52

No, so

01:31:53

he patches you.

01:31:55

Does he have a hat? Can I have

01:31:57

a hat.

01:31:59

Squish got a hat.

01:32:01

Yeah, I want a big trifold hat

01:32:03

like it has in my picture. Like Napoleon?

01:32:06

Yes.

01:32:09

So you open wide the wardrobe

01:32:11

and there's a lot of

01:32:13

items in there, but what catches

01:32:15

your eye is a dark

01:32:17

trifold hat

01:32:19

in the corner. Now,

01:32:21

unfortunately for you,

01:32:22

you are not a fashionable

01:32:25

individual. You don't know

01:32:27

that this is a very outdated silly hat um you see it and you just oh my god you just you get so

01:32:35

excited um uh you ignore the fact that it is a little dusty and it's a little moth bitten uh

01:32:42

because it's been in this wardrobe for a very long time but you yes you can have a a slightly used

01:32:48

tricorder hat oh my god look at it guys it's huge it fits my head my head is huge

01:32:55

it's got gold

01:32:57

and it's got a little feather

01:32:58

I feel like a captain again

01:33:01

you know ever since I was found out

01:33:03

to not be

01:33:06

yeah co-capt

01:33:07

you know ever since

01:33:09

ghost captain showed up

01:33:11

I feel like I haven't been much

01:33:12

but now man

01:33:14

I feel great

01:33:16

especially since it's his stuff too

01:33:21

really I'm in my prime

01:33:23

when I just take his things, aren't I?

01:33:26

You really, really

01:33:27

hate him.

01:33:29

Chuckles,

01:33:30

come in. Let's see what we got for you.

01:33:32

Yeah, I want a...

01:33:34

How many corners does your hat have?

01:33:37

Three.

01:33:38

I want a four-corner hat.

01:33:40

A box.

01:33:44

All right.

01:33:45

Roll your survey.

01:33:48

Four-corner?

01:33:49

I don't even know it's a thing.

01:33:51

You can put corners on anything.

01:33:54

all right survey oh i got zero and survey

01:34:06

can i can i have found a five corner hat

01:34:11

with that sort of critical success you could get a decahedron hat if you know however many

01:34:17

at the corners you want.

01:34:20

No, we can stop at five.

01:34:22

I like one of those...

01:34:28

I don't know. I'm trying to think of things

01:34:30

that are five sides. One of those

01:34:32

dishes that you bring

01:34:34

to parties that has all the dip in it.

01:34:36

That's got five corners, right?

01:34:38

That's three corners again.

01:34:41

That's a square.

01:34:42

Yeah, but...

01:34:43

That's a square.

01:34:44

You are really mad at that.

01:34:46

I said I wanted at least

01:34:50

three to four corners.

01:34:53

It's a five-corner hat.

01:34:56

Oh, my God.

01:34:59

No.

01:35:02

Yeah, it's not really showing up here on Google Images.

01:35:07

You might have to ask ChatGPT to generate it.

01:35:09

All right.

01:35:10

Yeah, neither did I.

01:35:13

No, that was not ChatGPT.

01:35:16

Those were all real photos of real women

01:35:20

And their real breasts

01:35:25

And their real breasts

01:35:29

What if it's just a five pointed jester hat?

01:35:32

No!

01:35:33

No!

01:35:34

Don't turn me into a clown

01:35:36

I mean you're talking down that point

01:35:40

I deny all rumors

01:35:43

That I've ever been a clown

01:35:46

or ever will be.

01:35:48

What kind of hat do you really want?

01:35:50

Do you just really want that five corner hat

01:35:51

or do you like a pointy hat?

01:35:54

Don't talk me out of this.

01:35:55

As much as you want. We know it's true.

01:35:58

Five corners.

01:36:00

Fuck it. We're doing five corners.

01:36:03

So you

01:36:06

pull out

01:36:07

you

01:36:08

you know

01:36:09

you actually take a little step stool

01:36:12

and you actually like get to the top

01:36:14

level of the wardrobe where the

01:36:15

material is uh and the captain and the captain's behind you looking at it and goes oh i see a

01:36:23

special one and he pulls out this box and what he pulls out well you have been places that don't

01:36:31

conform to normal geometry this has happened to you before where you've gone to places where the

01:36:36

go go up

01:36:38

in the wrong direction

01:36:40

and he takes out

01:36:42

he goes this

01:36:44

I only bring this out on special

01:36:46

occasions sir

01:36:48

young lad and he puts it on your head

01:36:50

and yes it is a five corner

01:36:52

hat

01:36:55

interdimensional

01:36:56

style hat

01:36:58

oh my gosh

01:37:00

I'm unstoppable in this hat

01:37:03

I am so virile

01:37:06

How does it look?

01:37:07

It feels like a million bucks.

01:37:10

How does it look? I don't know. I can't see it. It's on my head.

01:37:15

Oh, he pulls out a...

01:37:16

The wardrobe has like a mirror in front of it.

01:37:18

Oh, nice.

01:37:20

Yeah, it's confusing. It's really hard to wrap my psyche around.

01:37:23

But I think it's going to work for me.

01:37:27

Nope, it's terrible.

01:37:28

I think so, too.

01:37:29

It has a certain je ne sais quoi about it, as they would say in Lockport.

01:37:35

Yeah, this hat's really kind of hard to look at.

01:37:38

It's like every time you look at it, it's like those, you know, old style holograms where you kind of have to like turn it left and right and it makes different shapes.

01:37:48

That's kind of what the hat does every time you move your head.

01:37:52

It kind of has this like flickering, floating effect.

01:37:55

So it's kind of difficult to watch.

01:37:57

But this is a magical hat.

01:38:02

I'm going to say that it can give you, because it is a survey,

01:38:05

you get to choose when wearing this hat what skill is boosted.

01:38:10

Oh, extra charisma.

01:38:13

Oh, okay.

01:38:14

All right.

01:38:16

Oh, you mean every single time I roll?

01:38:19

With that specific skill while you're wearing the hat.

01:38:25

I think charisma is a very good option.

01:38:27

like a consort.

01:38:28

So talking to people,

01:38:30

you'll get a good reason on that.

01:38:31

Convincing them to do things to me

01:38:32

that they wouldn't otherwise do.

01:38:37

But consenting.

01:38:40

Consenting.

01:38:43

One for a silly hat.

01:38:47

Silly.

01:38:50

It's a great hat.

01:38:51

Thank you.

01:38:52

It's a fine hat, sir.

01:38:54

Oh, my lad.

01:38:55

I used to take that hat out and, well, let's just say it's a very lucky hat.

01:39:01

Yeah.

01:39:02

Oh, right.

01:39:04

You get to the – he looks at you standing there, all three of you,

01:39:08

on the main deck after you leave the captain's quarters,

01:39:12

and he goes, ah, look at you.

01:39:14

Oh, it just makes my heart proud to see my boys out there.

01:39:17

It's like prom.

01:39:17

Out there hitting the streets.

01:39:19

I'm hitting that ass.

01:39:20

It is like prom.

01:39:21

I'm keeping the hat.

01:39:25

Yes.

01:39:25

That was always allowed.

01:39:27

It is like...

01:39:29

Yeah, I mean, you've made it clear that it's your hat now.

01:39:32

Being ghostly, I actually don't have form.

01:39:35

Can't I do anything to piss you off?

01:39:38

No, he's too well adjusted.

01:39:40

That's what makes him such a great leader and father.

01:39:44

And nemesis.

01:39:46

Not for me, though.

01:39:49

I love him.

01:39:56

you blanked out Bridget

01:40:00

no

01:40:04

oh she's still

01:40:05

quiet

01:40:07

yeah I told her

01:40:12

sorry can you hear me

01:40:13

yeah

01:40:15

I'm not sure what's happening

01:40:19

anyway

01:40:20

I don't know how much more mad you could really make me.

01:40:24

See how well adjusted he is?

01:40:26

I'll think of something.

01:40:28

Don't trust him.

01:40:29

He's emotionally mature.

01:40:33

And those are the ones you can't trust the most.

01:40:39

Emotionally mature.

01:40:44

Taking a quick look here.

01:40:46

Before you leave the deck,

01:40:49

uh tawny comes up and he he he's waving you guys down and he goes quick quick before before you go

01:40:55

here take this uh and he hands you all a small vial of something that looks relatively um

01:41:02

not great it's kind of a pukey yellow color um but and when you open it you yeah puce uh when you

01:41:10

open it uh it kind of it doesn't smell badly but it does smell very medicinal and he goes

01:41:16

quick take one of these before

01:41:18

you go I eat it

01:41:21

okay

01:41:23

does anyone else take it

01:41:24

is it again we don't know

01:41:26

it's a pink

01:41:28

you haven't asked

01:41:30

chuckle's just down the thing

01:41:31

I trust him

01:41:32

yeah

01:41:36

do we trust him

01:41:39

this is Tawny

01:41:41

Tawny has come out

01:41:42

with three vials

01:41:44

He's given you one of each.

01:41:49

Okay, what is it?

01:41:50

Oh, then I take it.

01:41:53

Are you drinking it?

01:41:54

Or are you just...

01:41:58

I'm not drinking it.

01:41:59

I want to know what it is.

01:42:00

I'm chugging on it.

01:42:04

What?

01:42:05

I'm chugging on it.

01:42:09

I thought you said get chugging on it.

01:42:11

Yeah, or that.

01:42:11

Chuckles, as you are chugging on it, one of your levels of harm is going to disappear, whether it's your glass in the feet or a sad boy.

01:42:19

Oh, yeah.

01:42:20

I don't want to be a sad boy anymore.

01:42:21

I'll keep the glass.

01:42:23

Thank you.

01:42:24

That'll keep you pert.

01:42:27

Yeah, you see Chuckles kind of perk up and he goes, it's a quick healing potion.

01:42:31

Just a small something I thought you guys might need after, you know, your crazy night out the other night.

01:42:38

It was crazy, wasn't it?

01:42:40

All right.

01:42:40

It was.

01:42:41

Can I take that too and get rid of my shame caught in the act?

01:42:45

Yes.

01:42:46

If you take it, you can reduce level one harm.

01:42:48

Shame.

01:42:48

All right.

01:42:49

I'm taking it.

01:42:50

Shame.

01:42:53

Squish pockets it.

01:42:56

Okay.

01:42:56

Yeah.

01:42:57

I think you already took it.

01:42:58

No?

01:42:59

No.

01:43:00

I think you took it from Tawny.

01:43:01

Oh.

01:43:03

Yeah.

01:43:04

That's what I wanted to clarify.

01:43:05

Like, are you just pocketing it or are you taking it?

01:43:09

I pocketed it.

01:43:10

Okay.

01:43:10

Yeah.

01:43:12

pocketed it.

01:43:13

Okay, Patches, yeah, you reduce your

01:43:16

shame.

01:43:18

I did already.

01:43:19

Okay.

01:43:23

And the three of you

01:43:27

now noticing

01:43:28

that it is almost time,

01:43:29

it is almost time for your date,

01:43:31

you head

01:43:34

down the gangplank

01:43:36

and into the street,

01:43:37

planning to meet up with

01:43:40

Evelyn

01:43:41

at Jorge's.

01:43:43

Hail the junk fort boys

01:43:45

in the night they roam

01:43:47

at pay. Solving woes

01:43:49

with fire and explode

01:43:52

with a clash

01:43:53

and a crash and a twist of fate

01:43:55

explosions mark the hours

01:43:57

never late.

01:44:02

Never late.

01:44:14

I go to

01:44:16

Adrian

01:44:17

What was her name?

01:44:18

Evelyn

01:44:22

Is that your turn signal?

01:44:24

Yeah

01:44:26

I'm actually driving right now

01:44:30

I don't think you're taking this game seriously

01:44:33

Yeah

01:44:35

Thank you.

Green Mist