- Crew of the Kahuna

00:00:00

There's a rabbit in the backyard.

00:00:28

Really?

00:00:30

Is that code?

00:00:31

Do you have to poop?

00:00:33

Is that a window?

00:00:38

I thought it was a laptop.

00:00:39

What?

00:00:41

What?

00:00:43

The light?

00:00:43

You look like you're looking directly at the screen.

00:00:45

No, there's a rabbit in the backyard.

00:00:50

He's a big one.

00:00:50

He's a big one.

00:00:52

So big in these binoculars?

00:00:54

You have bears.

00:00:56

No, I'm just kidding.

00:00:59

The dingleberries.

00:01:00

About the rabbit?

00:01:01

Yeah.

00:01:02

So you made it up?

00:01:04

No, he's there.

00:01:05

He's eating something.

00:01:08

I don't know what, though.

00:01:08

He's hopping.

00:01:09

Oh, he's coming close.

00:01:10

Bridget, get ready.

00:01:11

He's coming for my wife.

00:01:14

Prepare to intercept.

00:01:20

I promised I would tell everyone that Brandon killed a spider for me about five minutes ago.

00:01:26

And it was scary.

00:01:27

It was a big spider.

00:01:28

And he just pounded it with his fist.

00:01:30

Did he even get like a shoe?

00:01:33

No.

00:01:35

I was the shoe.

00:01:36

Did he let out a battle cry?

00:01:39

No, but I definitely.

00:01:40

It was silent yet deadly.

00:01:42

Skylar, I am the shoe.

00:01:46

Toe the line, Skylar.

00:01:52

There's a party here in Duskfall, and you've been invited.

00:01:55

Well, not so much as invited, as much as lied and snuck in under false pretenses.

00:01:59

In a convoluted plot that would make Agatha Christie proud, our heroes have snuck into what manner?

00:02:04

To steal a priceless artifact and replace it with another.

00:02:07

Why?

00:02:08

Because I'm the DM.

00:02:09

That's why.

00:02:10

So far, the crew has managed to sneak in undetected.

00:02:12

They've broken up to search for clues.

00:02:15

Squish and Lady Amora head to the basement to look for the artifact.

00:02:19

Juckles has gassed out the host and is now making his way upstairs.

00:02:25

And the captain has created a scene and is having a pity party in his favorite room, the library.

00:02:30

But is there more going on?

00:02:32

Why does Lady Amora want to find the artifact?

00:02:34

And who are the other guests at the party?

00:02:37

Why are there multiple demons in the house?

00:02:40

Are there multiple demons in the house?

00:02:41

I saw a lot of spooky things when I went to tuning.

00:02:46

Oh, why can't the captain capture ghosts?

00:02:49

And how many onions are in Juckles' hat?

00:02:51

That's a need-to-know basis.

00:02:53

The world may never know.

00:02:56

No.

00:02:56

No, not even Juckles knows how many onions are in his hat.

00:02:59

Because they multiply up there.

00:03:01

Oh, they're getting freaky on your head?

00:03:04

Yeah, onion sex.

00:03:06

My God.

00:03:10

That sounds really layered.

00:03:12

You joke, but one time, well, not one time.

00:03:17

It happens a lot.

00:03:17

I have potatoes in a cabinet and I forget about them.

00:03:20

And then I go to touch the potato and they've got all these weird, disgusting eyes on them.

00:03:23

They have more potatoes?

00:03:25

Yeah, it's disgusting.

00:03:27

And I honestly, it creeps me out.

00:03:29

So I throw the whole bag away.

00:03:30

Oh, we still eat them.

00:03:31

I get, I get, I get icked.

00:03:35

Yeah.

00:03:36

I just pull those off and eat them.

00:03:38

See, I like my potatoes out of a bag.

00:03:42

Heat up in the microwave.

00:03:44

Some water thrown on them.

00:03:46

Like the astronauts did.

00:03:50

There's still astronauts though.

00:03:51

Well, they did that too.

00:03:54

They do that and did that.

00:03:59

I used to do drugs.

00:04:00

I still do, but I used to too.

00:04:02

Oh, is that Mitch Hedberg?

00:04:05

Mitch Hedberg, yeah.

00:04:06

Yeah.

00:04:10

Well, anyway, welcome.

00:04:11

You guys are, I hope you had a good two weeks.

00:04:15

I did not listen back, but it did sound like you guys did.

00:04:19

I listened to the end because I was looking for a spot to end it.

00:04:22

And I did hear the gassing out, which was very funny.

00:04:26

I laughed at my own joke.

00:04:27

We hid in a bush drinking and smoking cigarettes, waiting for the wait staff to come out.

00:04:34

We smoked all our trick cigarettes.

00:04:38

And Squish came out.

00:04:39

I was like, what have you guys been doing?

00:04:40

And we were like, you've been smoking and drinking cigarettes.

00:04:43

There was a half-hearted plan of getting a really long trench coat.

00:04:50

But yeah, I do have a note on here that says denim tuxedo.

00:04:54

I think Squish, that's what you're wearing.

00:04:57

Yeah, that's my fancy wear.

00:04:58

Oh man, that should have been the name of the episode.

00:05:00

Smoking and drinking cigarettes.

00:05:01

Smoking and drinking cigarettes.

00:05:06

I mean, really, that's just a good party.

00:05:09

Is it though?

00:05:11

This pen's not good, I'll tell you what.

00:05:14

I'll tell you what.

00:05:15

I'll tell you what.

00:05:17

I'm going to change the name of the episode.

00:05:20

Perfect.

00:05:23

We'll probably remember it more.

00:05:25

Right.

00:05:26

Instead of this is my fancy shirt.

00:05:29

It was his fancy shirt though.

00:05:32

It was just a shirt that said tuxedo on it.

00:05:34

It wasn't even a picture of a tuxedo.

00:05:35

It just said tuxedo.

00:05:37

I mean, that's pretty fancy.

00:05:40

I didn't expect to see that.

00:05:42

Yeah.

00:05:43

I expected to see a red frock coat.

00:05:45

Yep.

00:05:46

That's always an occasion.

00:05:48

More like red frock dress.

00:05:50

I mean, one man's dress is another man's frock coat.

00:05:55

What's the frock part?

00:05:58

It's the, you know, part of the whole ensemble.

00:06:01

Oh, that means he doesn't have a flying fig.

00:06:04

It's the name of the company.

00:06:08

The frock company.

00:06:10

And they make it out of fresh frock.

00:06:12

Now, shut the frock up, all right?

00:06:14

About my damn coat.

00:06:15

It's a formal men's coat characterized by a knee-length skirt.

00:06:23

It doesn't say what the frock is.

00:06:25

It means for frocking?

00:06:28

I mean, we could always use it as a verb.

00:06:31

I mean, it seems like that could work in this world.

00:06:33

Perhaps inspired by the then-casual country leisure wear frock.

00:06:38

Oh, man.

00:06:40

This is a deep, deep lore behind this coat.

00:06:43

All right.

00:06:44

I have to turn this off.

00:06:45

Oh, dear.

00:06:50

Oh, there they are.

00:06:51

I didn't know if that worked for a second.

00:06:54

Oh, who died?

00:06:55

Nothing.

00:06:56

We're starting now.

00:06:57

Oh.

00:06:58

It's a birth.

00:06:59

It's like a race, you know, like a shotgun race.

00:07:03

What are they?

00:07:03

I don't know.

00:07:03

It doesn't matter.

00:07:04

Anyway.

00:07:05

It's going to be a sweet-ass race where they just blast a shotgun into the air.

00:07:09

You guys are in Watt Manor.

00:07:15

You're trying to steal stuff.

00:07:17

I think everyone's got a pretty good idea of where they're at, right?

00:07:20

Does anyone need a refresher?

00:07:21

Brandon, Captain.

00:07:23

You're in the library reading on top of a pile of books, reading some of them.

00:07:27

I'm pretending I'm passed out and I'm actually drunk, so I'm trying to get in character right now.

00:07:32

Chuckles, you just SPD'd your way to a staircase to go upstairs.

00:07:41

And speaking of staircases, Squish and Lady Amoria are about to head downstairs.

00:07:46

So, who'd like to go first?

00:07:48

The gang's splitting up.

00:07:50

Split the...

00:07:52

Let's split up and search for clues.

00:07:55

That's some Scooby-Doo shit.

00:07:57

Split the party.

00:07:57

Split the party.

00:07:59

Um, I...

00:08:00

I don't know.

00:08:01

I don't know what's going to be more...

00:08:03

More...

00:08:05

Andy said he had a plan.

00:08:06

He told me to.

00:08:07

Oh, no, no, no, no.

00:08:08

No, just in case that there was a demon.

00:08:09

Well, there is a demon, I found out.

00:08:11

There's multiple demons.

00:08:13

Yeah.

00:08:14

Ding-dang demons.

00:08:16

There's two that he felt on this floor.

00:08:18

Oh.

00:08:20

Okay.

00:08:20

Well, then I'm going to walk downstairs with Amora.

00:08:23

All right.

00:08:24

That's Amora.

00:08:26

Basement time.

00:08:30

Y'all can see the basement?

00:08:32

Oh, sweet Jesus.

00:08:33

There's a pentagram.

00:08:34

I can see it, yeah.

00:08:36

Brandon, you can see it?

00:08:39

The pentagram?

00:08:40

Uh, yeah.

00:08:41

One big pentagram.

00:08:43

Yeah, so you, uh, you walk down the stairs to the basement.

00:08:49

It makes kind of a sharp turn to the side.

00:08:51

Uh, and you kind of come to just a general, uh, basement landing.

00:08:55

It's just a basement room.

00:08:56

There's a long hallway that extends forward with some openings on either side.

00:09:01

All right.

00:09:03

All right.

00:09:03

Uh, Lady Amora is not 100% convinced about being down here.

00:09:10

She kind of keeps, like, looking back over her shoulder.

00:09:12

You know, we really, really shouldn't be down here.

00:09:14

We probably should go back and join the party.

00:09:16

Uh.

00:09:19

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure the artifact is down here.

00:09:22

Are you sure?

00:09:24

Because.

00:09:24

No.

00:09:25

That's not what.

00:09:25

That's not what.

00:09:27

That's not.

00:09:27

No.

00:09:28

That's not what I heard, but.

00:09:29

What did you hear?

00:09:31

Well, I don't know.

00:09:32

I didn't hear anything.

00:09:33

But, I mean, why would they keep it in the basement?

00:09:35

Well, where else would they keep it?

00:09:37

It's not anywhere on the main floor.

00:09:42

What, did you guys look on the main floor?

00:09:44

No, the maid told me.

00:09:46

Oh.

00:09:47

Told one of us.

00:09:48

I think she told Chuckles, who then told it to you while you were eavesdropping on him.

00:09:55

And while he was also eavesdropping on you.

00:09:57

Yes.

00:09:57

Yes.

00:09:59

Oh, that old bit.

00:10:01

So, I want to ask her, why are you interested in finding the artifact?

00:10:10

I honestly wanted to buy it straight off of Watt.

00:10:13

I didn't want to do any of this auctioning.

00:10:16

I'm not a big believer in violence and competition like that.

00:10:19

I just thought if I could just pay for it, he'd give it to me.

00:10:22

But wouldn't you know it, he's just not agreeable to that.

00:10:27

What a dick.

00:10:28

Something about owing a debt to the red sashes and all this, and I don't really care.

00:10:33

All right.

00:10:36

Well, I'll tell you what, if the artifact is down here, you can have it.

00:10:41

Well, you can buy it from me, because I'm going to steal it.

00:10:46

Why do you want to steal it?

00:10:48

I got paid to.

00:10:50

By who?

00:10:53

I don't remember his name.

00:10:56

Do you know this guy is real, or did you imagine him?

00:11:00

No, he's real.

00:11:01

My buddies saw him, too.

00:11:05

They talked to him, I swear.

00:11:06

Was your buddy the one that collapsed on the bookshelf, sobbing?

00:11:11

Yeah.

00:11:12

Yeah.

00:11:13

I had him do that to cause a distraction for us to get down here.

00:11:16

Thanks for the cover, dude.

00:11:19

All right.

00:11:25

So I want to just keep walking.

00:11:26

Is it lit down here?

00:11:30

It's lit well enough.

00:11:32

It's not, like, super bright, but, I mean, there's enough that you can, there's nothing

00:11:35

that I pop out and scream at you or anything.

00:11:37

Okay.

00:11:38

Because you're walking along, and the first kind of section, the doorway you get to onto

00:11:42

the left-hand side is just a room filled with some general, like, artifacts and, you know,

00:11:48

pictures of family.

00:11:52

But not the artifact I'm looking for.

00:11:54

No.

00:11:55

No.

00:11:56

It's definitely, like, a very dusty-looking room.

00:11:58

It doesn't look like anyone's been there in a while.

00:12:00

It's more of a storage area than anything.

00:12:03

Sorry.

00:12:03

Tap Amoria on the shoulder.

00:12:08

Like, see?

00:12:09

There are artifacts down here.

00:12:12

She looks in them and kind of rifles through them, and she goes, these are all just about

00:12:17

the Watt family.

00:12:17

Like, Watt family.

00:12:19

She pulls out a scrapbook that says Watt family vacation, 79.

00:12:23

What century?

00:12:26

Just a scrapbook full of their pictures.

00:12:27

Well, in this world or in general?

00:12:31

The vacation.

00:12:32

79.

00:12:36

Just 79 AD?

00:12:38

Well, you know how they do, like, the comma year.

00:12:41

Right.

00:12:42

But what is the comma year?

00:12:44

It's like 20X1, man.

00:12:45

It's like, you know.

00:12:47

All right.

00:12:47

I'm in the past.

00:12:49

I broke the illusion.

00:12:50

What year is it?

00:12:54

What year are we in?

00:12:57

It's around the Victorian times without being in the name on Earth.

00:13:01

We're in 546 since the fall of the Emperor.

00:13:04

Oh, okay.

00:13:05

So we do have a time.

00:13:07

No, you don't.

00:13:08

I made that up.

00:13:09

We would have believed that.

00:13:11

She pulls out boxes and rifles through them, and it's like baby's first, you know, haircut,

00:13:18

you know, great aunt Uncle Winnie's, you know, college papers, and just kind of general family

00:13:26

joke.

00:13:26

Save some of that hair.

00:13:27

All right.

00:13:30

She passes the bag of hair to you.

00:13:32

I put it in my pocket.

00:13:35

Or under my hat.

00:13:37

Put it in my butt.

00:13:39

My butt.

00:13:41

All right.

00:13:42

How much hair was there?

00:13:44

Like, how much hair did baby have?

00:13:45

It had an entire bag.

00:13:46

The Watts are notoriously famous for being born with full heads of hair.

00:13:53

Full mullets.

00:13:55

Right out of the womb.

00:13:57

All right.

00:13:57

All right.

00:14:01

I just start walking away.

00:14:03

Towards the bag.

00:14:05

You pass some empty, well, it's a dungeon, but you just pass some empty cells.

00:14:11

There's nobody really in there, but, you know, there's like hay on the floor and some just general detritus.

00:14:18

I don't know what that means.

00:14:20

Garbage.

00:14:21

Oh.

00:14:22

Why couldn't you just say garbage?

00:14:24

One room beyond that is a, well, it's called a secret room, but it's just kind of a warehouse.

00:14:32

There's like a working table, a bench table on it, some boxes covered with...

00:14:39

Back here?

00:14:39

Fabric.

00:14:40

Yeah.

00:14:41

Okay.

00:14:41

Back here.

00:14:43

Yep.

00:14:43

Right we're here.

00:14:43

No guards or anything, huh?

00:14:45

Nope.

00:14:46

There's nobody down here.

00:14:47

Oh.

00:14:48

Okay.

00:14:48

Can I do a survey roll?

00:14:50

Yeah.

00:14:51

Go ahead.

00:14:52

Risky standard?

00:15:04

Yeah.

00:15:06

It's fairly well lit.

00:15:07

It's a pretty normal area.

00:15:08

Oh.

00:15:14

Well.

00:15:15

What was that?

00:15:16

A three?

00:15:16

Because my screen just broke.

00:15:17

Yeah.

00:15:18

It doesn't look, there's nothing really of note in here.

00:15:22

It just looks very dusty.

00:15:24

You do notice that there is kind of some footprints leading over to, from one passageway, like on

00:15:32

the left-hand side, over to the other, just directly across the hall.

00:15:37

Like, they didn't stop in this room.

00:15:38

They just went from right across.

00:15:40

But Amori is getting more and more antsy, and she's just like, I really don't think we

00:15:45

need to be down here.

00:15:46

People are looking for me upstairs.

00:15:48

We really just need to turn around and just head back up the stairs.

00:15:51

And she kind of starts pulling on your arm.

00:15:56

I think there's just, I think there's only like one more room to check out.

00:16:00

I really, I really don't think we need to keep looking.

00:16:06

I mean, it's pretty, nobody's down here.

00:16:07

I mean, you don't see anything, right?

00:16:09

No, you see these footprints and the dust that are not mine, I assume.

00:16:15

No, they're not yours.

00:16:16

Uh, yeah.

00:16:20

Uh, she really is just kind of antsy.

00:16:22

And she's like, if you don't turn around, I will.

00:16:25

And I will let Watt know exactly what we're doing.

00:16:28

And he'll bring guards down here.

00:16:30

And throw you out and throw your friends out.

00:16:34

Oh, okay.

00:16:35

All right, well, I guess we'll go back.

00:16:39

You gonna turn around?

00:16:42

Yeah, I'll turn around.

00:16:46

Oh.

00:16:47

And you're gonna head back up to the top.

00:16:53

Slowly.

00:16:55

Bridget, when you...

00:16:58

You're slowly.

00:16:58

When you turn your microphone, it sounds like you're farting.

00:17:01

Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:17:03

I just didn't want to hear you...

00:17:06

You had to make you listen to me drink.

00:17:07

Well, I don't want to hear that either.

00:17:09

But I also don't want to hear you fart.

00:17:10

It shatters the illusion.

00:17:12

I mean, or does it?

00:17:16

I mean...

00:17:18

Oh, right.

00:17:19

All right.

00:17:24

So you head back upstairs,

00:17:26

Back to the library.

00:17:28

Uh, Chuckles, what are you, uh...

00:17:30

What are you up to?

00:17:31

Well, uh...

00:17:32

I farted my way because it was a distraction, right?

00:17:36

Yes.

00:17:37

Um...

00:17:38

And, uh...

00:17:42

You were going upstairs.

00:17:43

Yeah, I was sort of, like, slinking upstairs.

00:17:46

You know, like when someone, like, hugs the wall and, like,

00:17:50

sneaks up the stairs.

00:17:51

Uh...

00:17:53

Yeah, I'm not sure what I'm doing up here.

00:17:57

I'm looking for the artifact, but not really sure where to start.

00:18:00

Um...

00:18:01

I snuck up here without really thinking about why I was sneaking up here.

00:18:05

But just that we got to cover a lot of ground.

00:18:09

Uh...

00:18:10

So you, uh...

00:18:10

Sneak up the stairs and you get to the top floor.

00:18:13

Um...

00:18:14

If you, like, towards your, uh...

00:18:17

If you're coming out of the stairs and you're here...

00:18:18

I'll drop you on here.

00:18:20

All right.

00:18:23

Uh...

00:18:24

If you're here...

00:18:25

Can I do a flashback?

00:18:26

I think I want to do?

00:18:27

Okay.

00:18:28

Yes.

00:18:29

Right before we split up getting into the house,

00:18:31

because Andy went through the front door...

00:18:33

Squish went through the front door,

00:18:35

and me and...

00:18:38

the captain were gonna hide in the bushes.

00:18:41

We talked about our plan about, like, meeting up.

00:18:46

Like, if we split up again...

00:18:49

Like, we were gonna meet up and then split up again

00:18:51

to cover more ground in the house.

00:18:53

Um...

00:18:54

I would like to put, like, a timer somehow

00:18:57

that we know that we're gonna meet back up

00:18:59

at a certain time in a certain place.

00:19:01

Do you wanna flash that out?

00:19:05

Yeah.

00:19:07

Okay.

00:19:08

All right.

00:19:08

So...

00:19:09

So...

00:19:09

All right.

00:19:10

So we act out.

00:19:11

You guys go over there.

00:19:13

Behind.

00:19:14

And I'll come up...

00:19:15

Or I'll...

00:19:16

I'll go in...

00:19:17

And I'll...

00:19:17

I'll find a door that we can go through.

00:19:19

Okay.

00:19:22

So...

00:19:22

Wait.

00:19:23

What are you doing, Andy?

00:19:24

I'm trying to play into the flashback.

00:19:27

You're in the flashback.

00:19:28

Yes.

00:19:28

Okay.

00:19:29

All right.

00:19:30

Yeah.

00:19:30

I assume we're gonna have to Scooby-Doo this

00:19:32

at some point and split up

00:19:34

and cover some ground.

00:19:36

That is probably a good idea.

00:19:39

Or a good thought.

00:19:39

All right.

00:19:41

Um...

00:19:42

We should meet back at some particular time

00:19:46

in a particular place.

00:19:48

Um...

00:19:49

Maybe we'll meet back up in the kitchen?

00:19:51

You wanna do the kitchen?

00:19:54

Well, we didn't...

00:19:55

I don't remember.

00:19:56

Were you walking in as part of the wait staff?

00:19:58

Me?

00:20:00

No.

00:20:00

Okay.

00:20:01

Were we walking in as part of the wait staff?

00:20:02

We had one invite, so I went in.

00:20:04

Oh, okay.

00:20:05

And then I just went out to the back

00:20:07

where the wait staff were smoking

00:20:09

and let you guys in.

00:20:10

Oh, I see.

00:20:11

All right.

00:20:11

Well, then...

00:20:12

Maybe we should just wait...

00:20:13

I don't know.

00:20:15

Where do you think we should...

00:20:16

should meet, Captain?

00:20:20

Um...

00:20:20

I don't know.

00:20:21

What about, like, in front of the bathroom?

00:20:26

The bush?

00:20:27

In front of the bathroom.

00:20:28

Oh, yes.

00:20:29

We could all pretend that we have to go to the bathroom

00:20:31

at the same time.

00:20:32

It's a good excuse.

00:20:33

That's our rendezvous spot?

00:20:35

Yes.

00:20:36

Yeah.

00:20:36

So now...

00:20:37

How will we know when...

00:20:40

Okay.

00:20:40

This is gonna be great,

00:20:41

because none of us know where the bathroom is at.

00:20:43

Right.

00:20:44

But we're gonna have to find the bathroom.

00:20:47

Yeah.

00:20:47

I...

00:20:49

I don't...

00:20:50

I don't know.

00:20:50

Um...

00:20:51

Some...

00:20:52

Time...

00:20:55

Period.

00:20:55

I...

00:20:56

Minutes.

00:20:56

Perhaps.

00:20:58

Just to give you guys a...

00:21:00

A sort of reminder.

00:21:01

The, uh...

00:21:03

The...

00:21:03

Uh...

00:21:05

There's an hour before the auction starts

00:21:07

where, uh...

00:21:07

The piece will be hidden.

00:21:09

There's an hour where, uh...

00:21:10

It'll be put on display.

00:21:12

And then, uh...

00:21:13

Then the auction starts.

00:21:14

You guys are 40 minutes into your first hour.

00:21:17

Okay.

00:21:17

So in...

00:21:18

In 20 minutes,

00:21:19

it'll be on display.

00:21:20

Yep.

00:21:21

Okay.

00:21:22

All right.

00:21:22

So let's meet 10 minutes before it goes on display.

00:21:24

All right.

00:21:25

That sounds good.

00:21:26

And then talk about what we have.

00:21:28

Because then we might have time to swipe it

00:21:30

before it goes on display.

00:21:31

We'll have 10 minutes to swipe it

00:21:32

before it goes on display.

00:21:33

Depending on what we find.

00:21:34

Ideally, we would want to do it

00:21:36

before it goes on display.

00:21:37

I don't know.

00:21:38

Well, otherwise,

00:21:40

it's on display.

00:21:41

There are a bunch of people around it.

00:21:43

Not if they have...

00:21:44

There definitely are.

00:21:45

There are guards and several other people

00:21:47

in front of the room.

00:21:48

Or in the room where it's being displayed.

00:21:51

You saw that when you walked in.

00:21:52

Right.

00:21:54

Right.

00:21:54

One of us has onions

00:21:57

and we cut them

00:21:58

and everyone starts crying

00:21:59

and then we steal it.

00:22:02

Although I guess we'll be crying too.

00:22:05

Well, you're not going to be.

00:22:08

You're used to it.

00:22:09

Yeah.

00:22:10

You got that right.

00:22:11

All right.

00:22:13

Well, we'll figure that part out later.

00:22:15

Okay.

00:22:15

Sounds good.

00:22:16

Ten minutes before it's being shown.

00:22:19

So, I have ten minutes

00:22:22

to look around

00:22:23

and see what I can find.

00:22:24

Yep.

00:22:26

I would...

00:22:27

Can I...

00:22:28

like half...

00:22:29

sprint

00:22:30

kind of like

00:22:32

a supermarket shuffle

00:22:32

and try all...

00:22:35

try all of the doors

00:22:36

to see if they're unlocked?

00:22:38

Sure.

00:22:38

Okay.

00:22:39

So, the first...

00:22:42

Do you want to move your piece

00:22:43

so I can tell you?

00:22:44

Yeah.

00:22:44

All right.

00:22:45

Yeah.

00:22:46

That door...

00:22:52

The door in the back?

00:22:53

Locked.

00:22:54

All right.

00:22:55

Does it...

00:22:56

Does it look important to me?

00:22:59

No.

00:23:00

All right.

00:23:01

No, it's a room

00:23:02

at the back of the house.

00:23:02

All right.

00:23:03

That door is locked

00:23:06

but you do hear voices behind it.

00:23:08

Voices.

00:23:09

Children?

00:23:09

No.

00:23:11

Adults.

00:23:11

Okay.

00:23:12

Does it sound scary?

00:23:13

No.

00:23:14

They just sound like

00:23:15

they're talking amongst themselves

00:23:16

but they're on the second floor

00:23:18

and they definitely shouldn't.

00:23:19

You know when it's supposed

00:23:21

to be on the second floor.

00:23:22

I'm not supposed to be

00:23:23

on the second floor.

00:23:24

Correct.

00:23:25

All right.

00:23:26

I would like to push

00:23:27

my ear up against it.

00:23:28

Sure.

00:23:29

Can I hear anything?

00:23:31

Yes, you can.

00:23:33

Give me one second.

00:23:36

I don't have one second.

00:23:37

This is for me.

00:23:37

This is a role for me.

00:23:38

This isn't anything for you guys.

00:23:40

So you hear two people up there.

00:23:42

You hear a woman,

00:23:43

two women.

00:23:44

They are just talking

00:23:46

amongst themselves

00:23:47

but you can kind of

00:23:49

overhear as them talking,

00:23:50

them saying,

00:23:51

how do you plan

00:23:53

to get your hands

00:23:54

on the piece?

00:23:54

And the other woman

00:23:56

is like,

00:23:57

I have no idea.

00:23:59

I can't even find

00:23:59

the damn thing.

00:24:01

And the first woman

00:24:02

kind of swears

00:24:03

a little bit

00:24:03

and she's like,

00:24:04

shit.

00:24:04

I didn't really want

00:24:07

to have to do this

00:24:07

but I might have

00:24:09

to bribe them.

00:24:10

It might get violent

00:24:10

down there.

00:24:11

Are you ready for this?

00:24:12

And the second woman,

00:24:14

you don't hear her response

00:24:15

but they continue

00:24:16

to talk behind the door.

00:24:17

All right.

00:24:21

I am,

00:24:26

wait,

00:24:27

I don't really

00:24:28

want to have to do this.

00:24:29

Did they say

00:24:30

what they were going to do?

00:24:30

I was thinking

00:24:32

very hard

00:24:33

the entire time.

00:24:33

I would not be good

00:24:34

at this heist stuff.

00:24:35

It's about to get violent.

00:24:37

It might get violent.

00:24:38

All right.

00:24:39

I would like to

00:24:42

kick in the door.

00:24:44

All right.

00:24:47

You have lockpicking skills.

00:24:49

I know,

00:24:50

but this is all part

00:24:51

of my plan.

00:24:51

Okay.

00:24:52

And it's so,

00:24:53

this feels like

00:24:55

when Andy was like,

00:24:56

I'd like to dive

00:24:57

into the garbage pit.

00:24:58

Well,

00:25:00

they sound like old ladies.

00:25:01

So you want to

00:25:02

wreck the door.

00:25:03

You just want to

00:25:04

kind of destroy it.

00:25:04

Yeah.

00:25:05

Yeah.

00:25:05

You manage to

00:25:16

kick in the door

00:25:17

and inside are

00:25:18

two women.

00:25:20

grab them really quick.

00:25:21

One of them

00:25:23

is a

00:25:24

very dark.

00:25:26

Everyone is very formal,

00:25:28

but this woman

00:25:28

is a dark haired lady

00:25:30

dressed formally

00:25:31

in uptight clothes.

00:25:33

Her name is

00:25:34

Lady Averanthi.

00:25:35

And then she is

00:25:36

talking to

00:25:37

Lady of the Night,

00:25:38

Madam Teslin.

00:25:40

And they both

00:25:41

turn at you

00:25:41

and you,

00:25:42

they're not happy

00:25:44

to see you,

00:25:44

but they're also

00:25:45

a little shocked

00:25:45

because you

00:25:46

obviously

00:25:47

just scared

00:25:47

the shit

00:25:48

out of them

00:25:48

by knocking

00:25:49

through the door.

00:25:49

And Madam Teslin

00:25:51

turns and she

00:25:52

pulls out a knife

00:25:53

and she goes,

00:25:53

who are you?

00:25:54

It's a very,

00:25:57

very stupid question.

00:25:57

There are guns

00:25:58

in this universe,

00:25:59

right?

00:25:59

Absolutely.

00:26:01

Okay.

00:26:01

I'm going to

00:26:01

point my fingers

00:26:02

out like a kid

00:26:04

playing cops

00:26:05

and robbers

00:26:06

and say,

00:26:06

the jig is up,

00:26:07

ladies.

00:26:08

I know what

00:26:08

you're up to.

00:26:09

And Lady Averanthi,

00:26:12

the more well-dressed,

00:26:13

the finer of the two,

00:26:14

kind of puts her hand

00:26:15

out to the other one

00:26:16

and says,

00:26:16

hold on a minute.

00:26:17

Do we know you?

00:26:21

No,

00:26:22

you don't,

00:26:23

but you're about to

00:26:24

and you guys

00:26:25

are busted.

00:26:25

You are in serious

00:26:27

trouble right now.

00:26:28

The two ladies

00:26:31

look at each other

00:26:32

and they,

00:26:33

Madam Teslin

00:26:34

puts her knife back

00:26:35

and where she puts it,

00:26:37

you don't know

00:26:37

because she's not

00:26:38

wearing very much,

00:26:38

but it just kind of

00:26:39

disappears upon her person.

00:26:41

Lady Averanthi smiles

00:26:43

and she goes,

00:26:44

I think there's been

00:26:46

some sort of

00:26:46

misunderstanding here.

00:26:47

Do you know

00:26:48

who I am?

00:26:49

To be honest,

00:26:50

no,

00:26:51

but I heard,

00:26:52

I heard the whole thing,

00:26:53

the whole conversation,

00:26:54

the plan,

00:26:55

I know,

00:26:55

and we've been

00:26:56

investigating this whole thing

00:26:58

and we found you.

00:26:59

Found us doing what?

00:27:02

Oh,

00:27:03

your conspiracy,

00:27:04

your dirty,

00:27:05

dirty,

00:27:06

dark conspiracy.

00:27:07

It's shameful,

00:27:09

Miss,

00:27:10

Miss Averanthi.

00:27:11

It's downright shameful.

00:27:14

She kind of laughs.

00:27:16

She's not intimidated

00:27:17

in the slightest.

00:27:18

She's like,

00:27:19

why don't you just,

00:27:20

why don't you just come in

00:27:21

and sit down

00:27:22

and we'll talk about this.

00:27:23

We don't need to get

00:27:24

violent or anything like that.

00:27:26

Nobody was being serious.

00:27:28

How about this lady?

00:27:29

How about I go turn you in

00:27:30

right now?

00:27:31

I got half of mine

00:27:33

to turn you right over

00:27:34

to the authorities.

00:27:35

You could do that,

00:27:38

but seeing as I'm

00:27:40

an Aruvian diplomat,

00:27:41

I pretty much have

00:27:42

diplomatic immunity

00:27:43

and I don't think

00:27:44

anyone's going to,

00:27:46

Aruvian diplomat?

00:27:47

What the hell's

00:27:47

a diplomat?

00:27:48

Well,

00:27:54

for starters,

00:27:55

there's someone

00:27:55

who can't be arrested

00:27:57

by a tuxedo-wearing man

00:28:00

who smells of gas,

00:28:01

onions,

00:28:02

and pointing his fingers

00:28:03

at me.

00:28:03

Wait,

00:28:04

wait, wait.

00:28:05

A diplomat has that ability?

00:28:06

I'm just talking about this now.

00:28:09

He has immunity to shit?

00:28:11

Wait,

00:28:12

how can I become

00:28:13

a diplomat?

00:28:14

Is there a course?

00:28:17

A subscription?

00:28:19

Is there perhaps

00:28:22

a community college

00:28:23

I can attend?

00:28:23

What?

00:28:26

No.

00:28:28

No,

00:28:29

wait,

00:28:29

I don't smell like gas.

00:28:31

That's not what you're smelling.

00:28:32

Then,

00:28:35

what am I smelling?

00:28:36

Nothing.

00:28:38

Never mind.

00:28:39

Lady Teslin,

00:28:41

Madam Teslin,

00:28:42

kind of just laughs at you.

00:28:43

She's a very beautiful woman,

00:28:45

but you can definitely tell

00:28:46

she's a little ragged

00:28:47

around the edges.

00:28:48

Well,

00:28:50

you know,

00:28:51

kind of a lady of the,

00:28:52

an experienced night walker,

00:28:54

as you were.

00:28:55

Some might call her

00:28:55

a night jogger

00:28:56

at this point.

00:28:57

Oh, man.

00:28:59

That's great.

00:28:59

She kind of laughs, too,

00:29:00

and she's like,

00:29:01

you're cute.

00:29:02

You're kind of funny.

00:29:02

You sure you don't want

00:29:03

to come on in here?

00:29:04

I'm in here already,

00:29:07

and I'm going to turn you in

00:29:08

if you don't tell me

00:29:09

what your plan is.

00:29:10

the rest of your plan.

00:29:12

And I,

00:29:14

all right,

00:29:15

I want in.

00:29:16

If I can't turn you in,

00:29:19

I'm turning you in.

00:29:20

We've heard,

00:29:24

Lady Arathi says,

00:29:26

we've heard that there are rumors

00:29:29

that someone is going to try

00:29:32

and steal the,

00:29:33

the statue tonight,

00:29:36

and obviously,

00:29:38

we wouldn't want anything

00:29:39

bad to happen.

00:29:40

As a Rubian diplomat

00:29:41

and a Rubian myself,

00:29:42

I understand how important

00:29:44

this artifact is

00:29:45

to my people,

00:29:46

and we're just concerned

00:29:48

that there are people

00:29:50

who would try to do it harm

00:29:51

and are trying to make sure

00:29:54

we protect that

00:29:55

against any eventuality

00:29:56

of that sort.

00:29:57

Yeah,

00:29:58

you and me both.

00:29:59

You won't know

00:29:59

if anyone's planning

00:30:01

on stealing

00:30:01

the statue tonight,

00:30:03

do you?

00:30:04

No.

00:30:04

I don't know anything

00:30:06

about that.

00:30:07

I don't know how anyone

00:30:09

would be able

00:30:09

to do that.

00:30:10

I mean,

00:30:11

it seems impossible

00:30:13

to me,

00:30:14

really,

00:30:15

honestly.

00:30:15

as an academic exercise.

00:30:19

We should team up

00:30:23

to protect it.

00:30:23

Well,

00:30:26

I mean,

00:30:26

I'm certain

00:30:27

that Mr. Watt

00:30:28

has it under lock and key,

00:30:30

so we're just wanting

00:30:32

to make sure

00:30:33

that nothing happens

00:30:34

after the auction.

00:30:36

So who's getting violent

00:30:39

with who here?

00:30:39

Well,

00:30:42

she's no longer

00:30:42

trying to get violent

00:30:43

with you.

00:30:44

No,

00:30:44

I'm saying that aloud.

00:30:46

No.

00:30:47

We've heard rumors.

00:30:50

There's this

00:30:51

silly little group

00:30:53

called the Truth Seeker Society

00:30:55

and they're one of those

00:30:56

where,

00:30:57

oh,

00:30:57

it belongs in a museum.

00:30:58

They sound like real nerds.

00:31:00

They really,

00:31:02

really are

00:31:03

some real nerds.

00:31:04

And we just,

00:31:06

I understand their sentiment.

00:31:08

All of the people

00:31:09

should be subject

00:31:10

to Aruvian's culture

00:31:11

and beauty,

00:31:12

but we just,

00:31:14

it goes to the highest bidder.

00:31:15

It's a privately owned piece

00:31:17

that's being privately sold.

00:31:19

Madam Teslin,

00:31:22

at this point,

00:31:23

by the way,

00:31:23

is no longer paying attention

00:31:24

and she's definitely

00:31:25

like found a flask

00:31:26

in another part of her

00:31:27

body that she's pulled out.

00:31:29

Maybe her hip,

00:31:31

but maybe not.

00:31:32

And she's starting to drink it

00:31:34

while she's sitting

00:31:34

at this table.

00:31:36

So what are we going to do now?

00:31:38

Well,

00:31:41

we could,

00:31:42

you could close the door

00:31:43

and continue on your way.

00:31:45

We could all go downstairs

00:31:47

together or,

00:31:48

I don't know,

00:31:49

do you have a third option?

00:31:50

Um,

00:31:52

no,

00:31:54

but I need to be down

00:31:55

in,

00:31:56

let's say,

00:31:57

five minutes,

00:31:58

stairs.

00:31:59

I need to be downstairs

00:32:00

in five minutes

00:32:01

to,

00:32:01

um,

00:32:02

use the bathroom.

00:32:03

So,

00:32:07

I am

00:32:08

gonna

00:32:09

catch you

00:32:11

later.

00:32:11

Unless,

00:32:13

lady,

00:32:14

what,

00:32:14

uh,

00:32:15

what's the,

00:32:16

the harlot's name?

00:32:17

The sexy one?

00:32:17

Yeah.

00:32:18

Gwinnemir.

00:32:18

Teslin.

00:32:19

Teslin?

00:32:20

Teslin.

00:32:21

Unless Teslin,

00:32:23

you think I'm cute.

00:32:23

Oh,

00:32:25

I think every man's cute

00:32:26

if they pay enough money.

00:32:27

All right,

00:32:28

well,

00:32:28

see you later.

00:32:29

I slink away.

00:32:34

All right,

00:32:40

uh,

00:32:41

Chuckles,

00:32:41

you want to try

00:32:42

any of the other doors?

00:32:43

Uh,

00:32:44

maybe,

00:32:46

but I've been

00:32:48

taking up a lot of time,

00:32:49

so I don't know

00:32:51

if I have time.

00:32:51

You have about five minutes left.

00:32:52

Yeah,

00:32:52

so I take a look

00:32:53

at my pocket watch

00:32:54

and,

00:32:55

uh,

00:32:56

decide that I have to

00:32:57

go to the bathroom

00:32:58

quite badly.

00:32:58

All right.

00:33:00

I'm on the onions.

00:33:02

Uh,

00:33:03

and then I pop my,

00:33:03

I pop my head in the door

00:33:04

as I walk away.

00:33:06

I kind of do the thing

00:33:06

where I disappear

00:33:07

and I turn around.

00:33:08

Where is the bathroom?

00:33:09

I think it's on the ground floor.

00:33:13

Right.

00:33:14

It's big floor.

00:33:15

Uh,

00:33:17

that's a good question.

00:33:20

I don't know

00:33:21

if this place has a bathroom.

00:33:22

Uh-oh.

00:33:23

This is going to get

00:33:25

real messy.

00:33:29

I take it back.

00:33:30

There's a,

00:33:30

there's a closet

00:33:31

between the drawing room

00:33:32

and,

00:33:32

uh,

00:33:33

the,

00:33:33

in the hallway,

00:33:34

right off the hallway,

00:33:35

there's a closet.

00:33:35

A water closet.

00:33:36

That's a bathroom now.

00:33:37

And,

00:33:39

Lady,

00:33:39

It was the hat,

00:33:40

it was the hat room,

00:33:42

it was the coat room before,

00:33:43

now it's the bathroom.

00:33:44

has any suitor paid you

00:33:46

in produce?

00:33:48

And I hold,

00:33:49

I tip my hat like this

00:33:50

and there's an onion inside?

00:33:51

No.

00:33:54

And she slams the door on you.

00:33:56

No.

00:33:57

So where are the shots?

00:34:00

Well,

00:34:00

not that cute.

00:34:01

All right.

00:34:05

I'm going to

00:34:06

head that way

00:34:07

and patiently wait for,

00:34:08

um,

00:34:09

my teammates.

00:34:11

All right.

00:34:13

Uh,

00:34:14

Captain,

00:34:14

what have you,

00:34:15

uh,

00:34:15

what have you been doing?

00:34:16

Oh,

00:34:17

I haven't passed out

00:34:18

on the books.

00:34:18

Um,

00:34:20

can I get,

00:34:20

can I,

00:34:21

who's all,

00:34:21

can I do a perception check

00:34:23

or something

00:34:23

and see who's around me?

00:34:24

Sure.

00:34:25

Uh,

00:34:28

just,

00:34:28

uh,

00:34:29

you could just do a survey.

00:34:30

First,

00:34:30

is that one survey?

00:34:31

Survey.

00:34:32

Or a study.

00:34:34

You could do a study.

00:34:34

I did a survey.

00:34:35

Okay.

00:34:37

Survey says?

00:34:38

Partial success.

00:34:39

Partial success.

00:34:41

Uh,

00:34:42

so you can tell,

00:34:43

uh,

00:34:44

looking around you

00:34:44

that,

00:34:45

uh,

00:34:45

Squish and Lady Amoria

00:34:46

haven't come back up yet.

00:34:47

It's you,

00:34:48

a guard,

00:34:49

um,

00:34:50

and then a few other people

00:34:51

have just kind of

00:34:52

wandered in here.

00:34:54

Uh,

00:34:54

one is a very strange man

00:34:56

in,

00:34:57

um,

00:34:57

like,

00:34:58

paint,

00:34:59

he's,

00:34:59

his face is painted

00:35:00

white.

00:35:01

It's got like,

00:35:02

I think very,

00:35:04

uh,

00:35:04

French revolutionary,

00:35:05

you know,

00:35:06

kind of goof,

00:35:07

uh,

00:35:08

with the wig.

00:35:08

He's got a hat on here.

00:35:09

I'll show you a picture of him.

00:35:10

I'm having issues zooming in.

00:35:12

How do you zoom in?

00:35:13

I'm having,

00:35:13

it's like blurry.

00:35:15

I can't see anything.

00:35:17

I don't know about it being blurry,

00:35:19

but you should be able to,

00:35:20

I don't know.

00:35:22

What's the zoom in?

00:35:24

I feel like we've done,

00:35:24

I,

00:35:25

I know mine works with,

00:35:27

mine works with the scroll wheel,

00:35:29

so.

00:35:29

Yeah.

00:35:30

Oh.

00:35:32

I,

00:35:33

I,

00:35:33

I think before we've changed the setting,

00:35:36

you had to turn the touchpad settings on.

00:35:38

Oh,

00:35:39

I did.

00:35:40

No,

00:35:40

I thought you did too,

00:35:41

but maybe not in this game.

00:35:43

I threw a picture of this guy in the chat.

00:35:47

Okay.

00:35:51

Do you see him?

00:35:52

Yeah.

00:35:54

All right.

00:35:54

He's in the,

00:35:55

he's just poked his head in the room too.

00:35:56

And he's like,

00:35:57

gracious,

00:35:58

what's going on in here?

00:35:59

It's a party here in Agrabah and you're invited.

00:36:03

Uh,

00:36:07

he kind of.

00:36:07

I pull out another full giant bottle of whiskey out of my coat.

00:36:12

You look like a man who likes to party.

00:36:15

How about you party with the old captain Fitz Clyde?

00:36:19

All right.

00:36:22

Uh,

00:36:23

and he sits down next to you on the floor in the pile of books and,

00:36:27

uh,

00:36:28

takes the bottle from you and takes a drink.

00:36:29

Oh,

00:36:30

how do you do?

00:36:33

Cheers.

00:36:34

I'm sure I'm in one of these books.

00:36:36

I'm the great ghost captain,

00:36:38

the ghost pirate.

00:36:40

Ghost captain.

00:36:43

Well,

00:36:43

that sounds very exciting.

00:36:44

Uh,

00:36:45

you've seen some of my paintings,

00:36:46

of course,

00:36:47

you know,

00:36:47

I'm,

00:36:47

uh,

00:36:48

Lord Raffaello,

00:36:49

uh,

00:36:50

painter,

00:36:50

humanist,

00:36:52

eccentric,

00:36:53

you know,

00:36:55

one of those types.

00:36:56

Right.

00:36:59

I,

00:37:00

I,

00:37:00

I,

00:37:01

I,

00:37:01

I,

00:37:01

I'm the same way.

00:37:02

Well,

00:37:07

uh,

00:37:08

he,

00:37:08

uh,

00:37:08

takes another,

00:37:09

uh,

00:37:10

sip of your whiskey and says,

00:37:11

do you prefer to be on the floor?

00:37:14

Um,

00:37:16

no,

00:37:16

I'm just kind of waiting.

00:37:17

Uh,

00:37:18

here on a,

00:37:20

here on a,

00:37:21

um,

00:37:22

what was I here for again?

00:37:23

Mission.

00:37:24

No,

00:37:25

I'm here to party.

00:37:26

No,

00:37:26

I'm here to,

00:37:27

to read.

00:37:28

I'm reading.

00:37:32

Well,

00:37:32

certainly there are more libraries,

00:37:34

uh,

00:37:34

than in the private home of Mr.

00:37:36

Watt to look at quite right.

00:37:38

Right.

00:37:39

But Mr.

00:37:40

Watt probably won't know.

00:37:42

I pushed over his bookshelf.

00:37:43

I mean,

00:37:44

no,

00:37:44

I'm sure no one can,

00:37:45

uh,

00:37:46

will think that he says,

00:37:47

as you're sitting literally on top of the pile of books,

00:37:50

which has fallen over.

00:37:51

Right.

00:37:53

No.

00:37:53

Yeah.

00:37:56

We should get out of here.

00:37:57

Why don't you hit him at him?

00:38:00

I mean,

00:38:01

no,

00:38:02

I mean,

00:38:05

just because he's cute.

00:38:06

You can't really tell a lot of his features under that powdered red,

00:38:11

but he is not like incredibly old.

00:38:13

He's middle aged.

00:38:14

So he's desperate.

00:38:18

So what brings you into these parts?

00:38:21

Oh,

00:38:22

great company.

00:38:25

I don't really have a stomach for this sort of artifact,

00:38:28

artifacts,

00:38:29

whatever.

00:38:29

And this historical,

00:38:31

uh,

00:38:32

you know,

00:38:32

nonsense,

00:38:33

but this is the party to be at.

00:38:35

Uh,

00:38:36

I don't plan on actually auctioning at this thing.

00:38:39

Do you bidding on it?

00:38:40

Uh,

00:38:41

no,

00:38:42

I've heard there's a pretty big,

00:38:43

uh,

00:38:43

uh,

00:38:44

trinket they're selling at this thing.

00:38:46

Yes.

00:38:48

Have you the lion?

00:38:49

Have you heard what it can do?

00:38:50

I've heard it.

00:38:52

It looks like a pretty bad looking lion.

00:38:55

Oh,

00:38:56

you are a cat.

00:38:57

And he slaps your arm.

00:38:59

No,

00:38:59

it could tell you anything that the,

00:39:01

anything that you ask of it,

00:39:03

uh,

00:39:04

that the lion might know.

00:39:05

Do lions know things?

00:39:08

Apparently this one does.

00:39:10

He speaks.

00:39:10

He's wow.

00:39:14

he's some,

00:39:15

so you're saying like,

00:39:16

like a human.

00:39:17

I'd never heard it before.

00:39:20

So you're,

00:39:21

are you saying he's some sort of humanoid lion?

00:39:25

Oh,

00:39:30

Jesus.

00:39:36

Uh,

00:39:36

I don't think his mouth actually moves.

00:39:38

I think it's a magical enchantment.

00:39:40

Not like he's an actual humanoid lion.

00:39:42

Oh,

00:39:43

all right.

00:39:43

Uh,

00:39:48

it's so,

00:39:48

it's sort of like a metaphor.

00:39:50

I see.

00:39:51

I suppose so.

00:39:52

Have you,

00:39:53

uh,

00:39:53

have you checked out the other items in the,

00:39:54

uh,

00:39:55

in,

00:39:55

in the display case?

00:39:57

anything good?

00:39:58

Oh,

00:39:59

I have no idea.

00:40:00

It all looks very priceless.

00:40:01

Priceless.

00:40:03

It's going to make for a terrible auction.

00:40:05

Oh,

00:40:12

no,

00:40:12

I,

00:40:12

uh,

00:40:13

honestly,

00:40:13

I,

00:40:13

uh,

00:40:13

I came in,

00:40:15

I found some booze and I found their books and I got content with doing that.

00:40:20

I'm sort of going through a little bit of a midlife crisis right now.

00:40:22

I think I'm not sure what's going on with me.

00:40:24

I'm very incompetent lately.

00:40:27

Incompetent or incontinent?

00:40:31

Oh,

00:40:32

I think I meant impotent.

00:40:35

Anyway.

00:40:36

Anywho.

00:40:41

Yeah.

00:40:41

So,

00:40:41

I kind of,

00:40:42

uh,

00:40:43

I fell apart in those books that were on some sort of mission.

00:40:46

Um,

00:40:46

well,

00:40:49

if you're feeling incontinent,

00:40:51

uh,

00:40:53

you should ask that lion,

00:40:54

uh,

00:40:54

you know,

00:40:55

something,

00:40:56

maybe,

00:40:57

maybe,

00:40:57

it'll help you.

00:40:58

You could bid on it.

00:40:59

Uh,

00:40:59

do you have any money?

00:41:00

Oh,

00:41:02

yes.

00:41:02

Several ounces of it.

00:41:05

Oh,

00:41:07

and you see,

00:41:07

uh,

00:41:07

Raffaello kind of like wiggles up a little bit closer to you and he says,

00:41:10

do tell.

00:41:11

Well,

00:41:13

you know,

00:41:13

I'm a very well-known pirate.

00:41:17

I come from the seven seas of,

00:41:18

I come from the seven seas of,

00:41:19

what was the name of that?

00:41:21

What was the name of that?

00:41:22

I forgot.

00:41:22

I'm sorry.

00:41:23

I was sorry.

00:41:24

The seven,

00:41:25

the seven,

00:41:25

the seven,

00:41:26

seven thieves.

00:41:27

foot mouth.

00:41:28

See,

00:41:28

what?

00:41:30

It was called foot mouth.

00:41:32

See?

00:41:32

Yeah.

00:41:34

The foot icon.

00:41:34

I've just got done traveling the foot mouth.

00:41:37

See?

00:41:37

I think.

00:41:38

And I'm a very successful,

00:41:40

famous pirate.

00:41:41

You may have heard of me.

00:41:43

I'm probably in these books somewhere.

00:41:44

I could just find myself.

00:41:46

There I am.

00:41:49

Midlife crisis talking about finding myself,

00:41:51

right?

00:41:51

Uh,

00:41:53

anyway.

00:41:55

Well,

00:41:58

Raffaello picks himself up off the floor and he goes,

00:42:01

it was quite nice to meet you,

00:42:02

captain.

00:42:02

I'm sorry.

00:42:02

I didn't get your name.

00:42:03

Captain Adric Fitzclyde.

00:42:06

Nice to meet you,

00:42:09

Mr.

00:42:09

Fitzclyde.

00:42:10

I have a few other guests.

00:42:11

I need to,

00:42:12

uh,

00:42:12

you know,

00:42:12

hang around and schmooze with,

00:42:14

but if you're ever looking for a fellow drinking partner,

00:42:17

you'll find me over,

00:42:19

uh,

00:42:19

in the drawing room.

00:42:20

Uh,

00:42:21

and he kind of leaves the room.

00:42:23

Cheers.

00:42:24

Wait,

00:42:26

do you know where the bathroom's at?

00:42:27

Oh.

00:42:27

So it is now,

00:42:38

uh,

00:42:38

50 minutes in.

00:42:39

It's,

00:42:40

uh,

00:42:40

10 minutes before you were supposed to meet up in the bathroom.

00:42:43

Where are you guys all do?

00:42:45

What do you,

00:42:45

what do y'all do?

00:42:46

What y'all doing?

00:42:46

Well,

00:42:48

I'm waiting at the bathroom.

00:42:49

Uh,

00:42:50

just sort of looking around,

00:42:52

pretending that I'm waiting to get in the bathroom.

00:42:54

Uh,

00:42:54

but there's nobody in there.

00:42:56

Uh,

00:42:56

but there's nobody in there.

00:42:56

Uh,

00:42:56

but there's nobody in there.

00:42:58

Uh,

00:42:58

but there's nobody in there.

00:42:58

I'm asking,

00:42:59

uh,

00:42:59

I'm asking,

00:43:01

uh,

00:43:01

lady Amora where the bathroom is.

00:43:04

and if she could show me.

00:43:05

Uh,

00:43:07

yes,

00:43:07

it's in the,

00:43:08

the front hall and she leads you out into the front hall,

00:43:11

the bathroom where you see chuckles waiting.

00:43:15

Oh,

00:43:15

it looks like there's a line.

00:43:16

I'm walking around talking to people,

00:43:18

asking them questions,

00:43:19

but I forgot what I was supposed to ask them about,

00:43:22

which is the bathroom.

00:43:26

Do you know where the laundry room?

00:43:30

Wait,

00:43:32

where'd that one guy go?

00:43:33

The lavatory?

00:43:34

No,

00:43:34

no.

00:43:35

He went to the,

00:43:36

the draw,

00:43:37

the draw,

00:43:37

the drawing room.

00:43:38

Do you know where the drawing room's at?

00:43:40

And by extension,

00:43:42

is that the bathroom?

00:43:43

Need to draw a piss.

00:43:48

It turns out I'm just talking to a portrait.

00:43:50

Wow.

00:43:52

He's wasted.

00:43:53

Yep.

00:43:54

This is a,

00:43:55

this is a rough time in my life.

00:43:57

Uh,

00:43:59

he's kind of,

00:44:00

you see the captain kind of stumbling down the hallway,

00:44:02

just pointing at random portraits and maids as they pass.

00:44:06

And then occasionally in a reflection at himself,

00:44:08

captain,

00:44:09

captain.

00:44:10

Oh,

00:44:12

juggles.

00:44:13

Donald Andrew juggles.

00:44:15

We're over here.

00:44:16

Is this the line for the drawing room?

00:44:20

Are you drunk?

00:44:21

Oh,

00:44:22

you smell.

00:44:24

I get a whiff and you're just reek of three bottles of whiskey that you've managed to pull from some orifice.

00:44:30

You are wasted.

00:44:35

I don't know what happened.

00:44:36

It just happened,

00:44:37

man.

00:44:37

You weren't supposed to maybe pretend to be drunk.

00:44:40

I get drunk.

00:44:41

No,

00:44:42

no,

00:44:43

no.

00:44:43

The thing is,

00:44:44

you got to learn how to hold your liquor on the high seas.

00:44:47

You know,

00:44:47

I've been drinking whiskey for very many years.

00:44:51

Look at me.

00:44:52

I am a man who can hold his liquor.

00:44:54

No,

00:44:55

don't.

00:44:55

Stop talking.

00:44:56

Look at me.

00:44:56

Look at me.

00:44:58

Yes.

00:44:59

Uh,

00:44:59

I'd like to slap him.

00:45:00

I want to slap some sense into him.

00:45:03

Yeah,

00:45:04

but use the wreck attack though.

00:45:06

The wreck attack.

00:45:07

Yeah.

00:45:09

What?

00:45:10

And just wreck his face?

00:45:11

Well,

00:45:13

if you roll successfully,

00:45:14

sure.

00:45:15

Is that really what I should be rolling?

00:45:19

I mean,

00:45:19

I guess I don't know what else it would be.

00:45:21

I'm not tinkering with his psyche.

00:45:22

Uh,

00:45:27

you could do a skirmish.

00:45:29

I guess.

00:45:33

If you didn't want to,

00:45:34

if you didn't want to just go straight out and deck him,

00:45:36

uh,

00:45:36

and you just kind of wanted to slap him kind of just like upside the head.

00:45:40

Yeah.

00:45:40

I would say a skirmish.

00:45:41

Is there like,

00:45:42

there's not like an intimidate or like,

00:45:44

uh,

00:45:44

what's,

00:45:46

uh,

00:45:46

how do you,

00:45:48

you could do like,

00:45:49

uh,

00:45:49

or like convince them.

00:45:51

That would be like a sway,

00:45:54

uh,

00:45:55

or a consort where you'd kind of be like friendly with them.

00:45:58

No,

00:45:58

sway would be more of like trying to like,

00:46:00

like,

00:46:00

you know,

00:46:02

convince them in a,

00:46:02

like a manipulative sort of way.

00:46:04

You could command him,

00:46:05

which is like yelling at him.

00:46:07

No,

00:46:08

none of which you have,

00:46:09

by the way,

00:46:09

I'm going to wreck it.

00:46:12

Martial success.

00:46:16

You slap him.

00:46:19

And he stumbles backwards,

00:46:20

uh,

00:46:22

not to the ground,

00:46:23

but definitely,

00:46:24

uh,

00:46:24

definitely back.

00:46:26

And it's loud enough that other people kind of turn and he'd look at you.

00:46:29

Wow.

00:46:30

I stumble.

00:46:31

Look,

00:46:31

uh,

00:46:32

that didn't feel like partial success.

00:46:35

Yeah.

00:46:37

No,

00:46:37

he insulted my family bloodline.

00:46:39

Nothing to see here.

00:46:40

All right.

00:46:41

Did you so rub a little bit?

00:46:42

All I said is your family's very layered,

00:46:44

you onion pickling son of them.

00:46:46

Yeah.

00:46:47

I would hope as part of the partial success,

00:46:50

I made him a little bit less drunk.

00:46:52

Yes,

00:46:53

you did.

00:46:54

He's a little bit more sober now.

00:46:55

Which actually walks into the bathroom.

00:47:00

All right.

00:47:00

I'll follow him into the bathroom.

00:47:02

I stumble.

00:47:04

I stumble into the bathroom.

00:47:06

Now we're in the bathroom.

00:47:08

What are we going to do now?

00:47:10

What is clearly a one person bathroom?

00:47:13

Tell me you guys found it.

00:47:14

I know where the statue.

00:47:15

No.

00:47:16

You didn't find it?

00:47:17

There's nothing downstairs.

00:47:18

Oh,

00:47:20

there's nothing upstairs.

00:47:20

Well,

00:47:21

I don't really know.

00:47:22

I didn't check all of the doors.

00:47:23

Uh,

00:47:24

there are some creepy old ladies and one girl was very into me,

00:47:26

but I had to turn her down.

00:47:27

Uh,

00:47:28

Captain.

00:47:29

Did you offer her an onion?

00:47:30

I did.

00:47:32

Would you know it?

00:47:33

Uh,

00:47:33

Captain,

00:47:34

did you find anything?

00:47:36

I hesitate to ask.

00:47:39

I found a very nice powdered man.

00:47:43

Bottle of whiskey,

00:47:44

apparently.

00:47:44

And a powdered man.

00:47:46

You didn't tell him your name,

00:47:51

did you?

00:47:52

Your,

00:47:53

your real name.

00:47:54

Uh,

00:47:56

I mean,

00:47:57

I assumed he knew that already.

00:47:58

I mean,

00:48:01

I'm the captain.

00:48:02

All right.

00:48:05

I'm a staple.

00:48:07

I mean,

00:48:08

I did uncover something afoot.

00:48:10

An Arubian diplomat is apparently immune.

00:48:18

Is that something I can learn to do?

00:48:20

You know what?

00:48:20

I never heard of it either.

00:48:21

I thought she made the word up,

00:48:23

but it turns out it's a word that means you can't be guilty.

00:48:26

So perhaps we should look into that at some point.

00:48:30

Uh,

00:48:30

but apparently this woman has already gone to at least one community college and is now a diplomat.

00:48:37

Yes.

00:48:40

We'll have to write that down for later.

00:48:42

Right.

00:48:43

I love these running gags that go across games.

00:48:49

Diplomat,

00:48:50

the humanoid lion.

00:48:53

So I think she might be after it and there might be violence,

00:48:57

but I don't,

00:48:58

I still don't know where it is.

00:49:00

She didn't tell you.

00:49:02

Um,

00:49:04

no,

00:49:05

I,

00:49:05

it was really confusing because I,

00:49:07

at first I was trying to make her think that she was in trouble.

00:49:10

And then I felt like I was in trouble.

00:49:13

And,

00:49:14

uh,

00:49:15

I just,

00:49:15

I just kind of,

00:49:16

I kind of left.

00:49:17

You didn't,

00:49:21

you didn't point your fingers at him like a gun.

00:49:24

Did you?

00:49:25

It's almost as if you were there,

00:49:27

uh,

00:49:27

but I couldn't think of anything better to do.

00:49:30

So,

00:49:33

uh,

00:49:34

we've got 10 minutes and we still don't know where it is,

00:49:36

but we will know where it is in 10 minutes.

00:49:38

We've got nothing.

00:49:39

Uh,

00:49:41

we could just buy it,

00:49:44

baby.

00:49:45

I don't think we have enough money for that.

00:49:48

No.

00:49:48

All right.

00:49:49

Here's my plan.

00:49:50

Don't say drink more.

00:49:53

No,

00:49:54

no.

00:49:54

As soon as they put on the stage,

00:49:55

you guys create a distraction and I'm going to run and grab it.

00:50:00

No,

00:50:01

no,

00:50:01

no.

00:50:02

We're not supposed to steal it.

00:50:04

We have to switch it with the fake.

00:50:06

Oh yeah.

00:50:07

So you're right.

00:50:07

Thank God someone was paying attention.

00:50:09

All right.

00:50:12

All right.

00:50:12

All right.

00:50:13

Wait,

00:50:13

who's supposed to,

00:50:14

let's put it on display right now before they put it on display.

00:50:17

Stealthy.

00:50:20

Oh,

00:50:20

yes.

00:50:21

And then when they try to put it on display,

00:50:22

they'll be like,

00:50:23

what?

00:50:24

All right.

00:50:26

I'm the most drunk.

00:50:27

so I think I should do it.

00:50:28

I don't think that's true at all.

00:50:30

What?

00:50:32

You don't think I'm the most drunk?

00:50:33

I'll prove you wrong.

00:50:34

You're definitely the most drunk.

00:50:36

Oh,

00:50:37

you're definitely the most drunk.

00:50:37

Is the rabbit back?

00:50:41

There's two of them out there.

00:50:43

Oh,

00:50:44

are they going at it like rabbits?

00:50:46

No,

00:50:47

one's a little baby.

00:50:48

One of one's a massive one.

00:50:49

Okay.

00:50:50

Power dynamic.

00:50:53

actually,

00:50:53

I kind of like that plan.

00:50:55

Junkles.

00:50:55

Yeah.

00:50:56

I'm good on my feet.

00:50:57

Yeah.

00:51:00

Yeah.

00:51:01

I,

00:51:01

I heard it.

00:51:03

I'm not sure what they're going to do when they see something already on display.

00:51:10

So what,

00:51:11

we're just going to sneak up there right now?

00:51:12

Do we know where it's going to be on display?

00:51:15

Fusion.

00:51:16

Yeah.

00:51:18

Uh,

00:51:19

yeah,

00:51:19

here,

00:51:20

uh,

00:51:20

you see the junk boys?

00:51:21

The room it's in?

00:51:22

This one.

00:51:23

Over here.

00:51:26

Oh,

00:51:28

here.

00:51:28

That's outside.

00:51:30

Oh,

00:51:32

now it's inside.

00:51:33

Yeah.

00:51:33

All right.

00:51:34

So there's a lot of people in there.

00:51:36

Yeah,

00:51:38

but,

00:51:38

you know,

00:51:39

uh,

00:51:39

we cause distraction.

00:51:40

Yep.

00:51:42

I know where we can get a few good farts.

00:51:45

Not sure that's going to work again,

00:51:47

but I can barge in the room and do something.

00:51:50

Captain.

00:51:51

Yes.

00:51:53

Pretend to be a rich old captain that let me go in retired and just come into a lot of booty.

00:52:01

Yes.

00:52:03

Like Rodney Dangerfield in a candy shack.

00:52:05

All right.

00:52:08

I can do this.

00:52:09

Let me go in first and I'll get like settled in over there.

00:52:13

Perhaps.

00:52:14

Cause I'm the one with,

00:52:15

I'm the one with the,

00:52:16

the decoy.

00:52:17

Perhaps in a fern.

00:52:19

Uh,

00:52:21

let's not rule that out.

00:52:23

Okay.

00:52:23

But preferably not.

00:52:27

Uh,

00:52:27

I don't know.

00:52:29

Is it,

00:52:30

is it,

00:52:30

is it,

00:52:30

is it a display case?

00:52:32

Has anyone seen where this thing's going to be on display?

00:52:34

It must be in a blocked case.

00:52:36

Uh,

00:52:39

are you asking me or are you just asking in general?

00:52:42

I have to ask each other.

00:52:44

I think I,

00:52:45

I think I,

00:52:45

I think last time I saw where it was going to be displayed.

00:52:48

Okay.

00:52:49

Whether or not it was in a case,

00:52:52

I don't remember.

00:52:53

I can unlock it with my tinkering skills.

00:52:57

Is it in a case?

00:52:59

Bridget,

00:53:02

I'm asking you.

00:53:03

Okay.

00:53:04

Sorry.

00:53:04

You're scared.

00:53:05

It's frozen.

00:53:05

I wasn't sure.

00:53:06

Uh,

00:53:06

yes,

00:53:06

uh,

00:53:07

it is,

00:53:07

it is in a glass case.

00:53:08

Okay.

00:53:09

It's not yet though.

00:53:11

It's an empty glass case.

00:53:12

Yeah.

00:53:13

There's nothing in there now.

00:53:14

Um,

00:53:15

some of the other artifacts in there are not under glass cases.

00:53:17

Some are,

00:53:18

but this one definitely is.

00:53:19

And it's in the center of the room,

00:53:20

uh,

00:53:21

in like this main arch table,

00:53:23

right in the smack dab.

00:53:24

And listen.

00:53:25

Okay.

00:53:29

I,

00:53:29

all right.

00:53:30

That sounds good.

00:53:31

Juffles.

00:53:31

Captain,

00:53:34

give us like five minutes of,

00:53:37

before you create your distraction.

00:53:40

I can't make any promises.

00:53:41

Okay.

00:53:44

Three minutes.

00:53:45

I don't know.

00:53:47

I don't know which way we're going here.

00:53:48

I'm just joking.

00:53:50

It's a,

00:53:50

it's an expression.

00:53:51

I'll be fine.

00:53:51

Let's go.

00:53:52

Boy.

00:53:55

Boy.

00:53:56

Oh boy.

00:53:58

Okay.

00:53:58

So then I,

00:53:59

I exit the bathroom and walk into where it's going to be.

00:54:03

going to be displayed.

00:54:04

In there,

00:54:06

there are two guards.

00:54:08

There are two Aruvian,

00:54:10

uh,

00:54:10

individuals with swords.

00:54:12

Uh,

00:54:13

one is a,

00:54:14

uh,

00:54:14

dark,

00:54:16

taller female.

00:54:17

One is a very tall male.

00:54:18

The male looks familiar to you guys.

00:54:20

Uh,

00:54:21

you're not quite sure where he's from.

00:54:22

Aladdin,

00:54:23

the movie.

00:54:24

it could be Aladdin.

00:54:25

Uh,

00:54:27

there are also two other members in here.

00:54:28

They both look like members of aristocracy,

00:54:30

uh,

00:54:30

aristocracy,

00:54:31

uh,

00:54:32

one male,

00:54:32

one female,

00:54:33

both kind of,

00:54:34

you know,

00:54:34

tight lipped,

00:54:35

you know,

00:54:37

general frown on their face sort of types.

00:54:39

All right.

00:54:43

so squish you're walking in and like getting into like a position.

00:54:47

Yeah.

00:54:48

All right.

00:54:49

I am going to walk in and just start perusing the wares,

00:54:54

trying not trying just to avoid people coming up to me and talking,

00:54:58

trying to avoid eye contact,

00:55:00

uh,

00:55:01

pretending to look at things,

00:55:02

looking around the room,

00:55:03

my hands,

00:55:04

my pockets,

00:55:05

maybe whistling or just making a whistling,

00:55:07

whistling pantomime,

00:55:08

but not making any noise.

00:55:09

And waiting the three minutes we agreed until the captain comes in.

00:55:15

Yes,

00:55:18

I am doing the same thing,

00:55:20

except on the opposite side of the room.

00:55:22

Captain.

00:55:28

Oh,

00:55:30

I thought you were right.

00:55:31

I thought I still had to wait a few more minutes.

00:55:32

I mean,

00:55:33

yes,

00:55:34

you don't have to actually wait the three minutes though.

00:55:36

Right.

00:55:37

You made a big deal about me.

00:55:39

Made it.

00:55:39

Okay.

00:55:40

Uh,

00:55:43

just to give you some timing,

00:55:44

you have about five minutes before,

00:55:46

uh,

00:55:46

the,

00:55:46

the,

00:55:47

uh,

00:55:47

artifact is supposed to come down.

00:55:49

All right.

00:55:50

So I come in and I kick open the door.

00:55:52

Uh,

00:55:54

everyone immediately turns towards you.

00:55:56

The two Rubians,

00:55:57

uh,

00:55:57

have swords and they kind of just put their hands on them.

00:56:00

The two guards also kind of turn as well.

00:56:02

Gather around my friends and fellows.

00:56:06

I have a story to tell you about being a pirate on the sea.

00:56:10

Let me tell you the story about what I saw,

00:56:12

thought what is a most beautiful mermaid and turned out to be the most beautiful fish.

00:56:18

Come on,

00:56:19

gather around,

00:56:20

gather around.

00:56:20

I'll tell you all about it.

00:56:22

And does it work?

00:56:25

Does I,

00:56:25

do I go?

00:56:26

Yeah.

00:56:27

Yeah.

00:56:27

You know what?

00:56:28

Let's see.

00:56:29

Or a command.

00:56:30

Or a rack.

00:56:31

Does he even kick the door open?

00:56:32

The door wasn't even locked.

00:56:36

It was like slightly ajar.

00:56:39

He broke his foot.

00:56:40

What do I have to do?

00:56:46

So do you want to command them to come closer?

00:56:50

Yeah.

00:56:50

Okay.

00:56:52

So you have one plus one because you have your,

00:56:54

uh,

00:56:55

eye patch.

00:56:55

Give me a second.

00:56:57

I mean,

00:56:57

I might,

00:56:58

my,

00:56:58

uh,

00:56:59

thing went missing.

00:57:00

The,

00:57:00

uh,

00:57:00

the,

00:57:01

the toggles at the top that you'd be able to do that.

00:57:03

Do you have your character highlighted if you click on it?

00:57:07

There it goes.

00:57:08

Okay.

00:57:09

Um,

00:57:09

I want to,

00:57:10

I want to help him to command.

00:57:13

So you're going to get command plus two.

00:57:16

Cause you have one.

00:57:17

And then,

00:57:17

uh,

00:57:17

Andy's going to help you.

00:57:18

Can I help him too?

00:57:20

I don't know how.

00:57:21

No,

00:57:21

no,

00:57:22

I think only one person can help.

00:57:23

You need to take her.

00:57:24

I think you need to,

00:57:26

I do need to tinker.

00:57:27

What's the point of all of us distracting if none of us gets the thing?

00:57:30

No,

00:57:31

no,

00:57:31

no.

00:57:31

I,

00:57:31

the way I help is I tell the guards like you,

00:57:33

you guys should probably get him the fuck out of here.

00:57:36

What?

00:57:37

He is drunk.

00:57:40

I thought what you were going to do was something like,

00:57:42

Oh,

00:57:42

come on guys.

00:57:43

Let's go.

00:57:43

Listen to this guy.

00:57:44

He sounds great.

00:57:45

Is that Captain Fitzcarl?

00:57:49

Gather around Captain Adric Fitzclyde,

00:57:52

the famous ghost pirate of Duskball.

00:57:54

So you can,

00:57:58

uh,

00:57:58

shake my head.

00:57:59

He's choosing his real name.

00:58:01

No,

00:58:01

I guess you succeeded.

00:58:04

Uh,

00:58:04

so,

00:58:05

so as you're talking,

00:58:08

um,

00:58:08

people are gathering around you.

00:58:10

The two guards are kind of sneaking along the other side.

00:58:12

They haven't,

00:58:13

uh,

00:58:13

kicked you out yet,

00:58:14

but they are definitely closer to you than they are to the,

00:58:17

uh,

00:58:18

to the,

00:58:19

uh,

00:58:20

object.

00:58:20

Um,

00:58:21

the other people are also starting to pay attention to you as well.

00:58:24

The two rich people in there.

00:58:25

And then the two Aruvians.

00:58:27

Holy shit.

00:58:27

How'd you do that?

00:58:29

Uh,

00:58:30

I don't know.

00:58:30

I typed a chat message.

00:58:32

I forgot.

00:58:32

It makes it zoom on my character.

00:58:34

Yeah.

00:58:34

It's funny.

00:58:39

No,

00:58:39

I,

00:58:39

my whole screen was blurry.

00:58:41

Now everything's clear.

00:58:42

Everyone,

00:58:45

uh,

00:58:45

is starting to surround the captain captain.

00:58:48

Continue on with your story.

00:58:49

Please.

00:58:50

I'm just telling all sorts of exotic stories.

00:58:52

All sorts of exotic stories about attractive fish.

00:58:55

You know,

00:58:58

uh,

00:58:59

you know,

00:59:00

basically,

00:59:00

and,

00:59:01

uh,

00:59:01

you know,

00:59:02

and how I was trying to catch my,

00:59:03

uh,

00:59:04

my great,

00:59:05

um,

00:59:05

white whale.

00:59:06

Um,

00:59:08

that was actually a seal.

00:59:09

So my great white seal,

00:59:12

it might,

00:59:13

he,

00:59:14

I'm after him,

00:59:15

cause one time I was eating on the deck and he ate my meal.

00:59:18

So that's the seal.

00:59:21

Ate your meal.

00:59:22

And that's the deal.

00:59:23

And he stole my meal.

00:59:25

It was a steel.

00:59:27

All right.

00:59:27

So that's the deal.

00:59:30

He's bombing out there.

00:59:35

Everyone's looking at me.

00:59:37

That's the point.

00:59:37

And I'm also doing this weird finger gun thing.

00:59:39

I'm like,

00:59:40

Hey,

00:59:42

White sealed my meal.

00:59:47

That's how it works.

00:59:57

It's so stupid.

01:00:06

But he's got him captivated.

01:00:12

I know I am.

01:00:14

And the guards are...

01:00:19

Are they coming for him too?

01:00:21

To like throw him out?

01:00:23

It's a mixture of they want to throw you out

01:00:27

but you actually haven't done anything

01:00:28

besides been really loud and obnoxious.

01:00:31

At a fancy party.

01:00:34

At a fancy party.

01:00:36

And a frock.

01:00:37

At least some people like, you know,

01:00:40

are they into it?

01:00:42

Please.

01:00:45

You know, you notice that in the corner...

01:00:51

That means something, right?

01:00:53

Out of the corner of your eye,

01:00:55

you see two people who have come...

01:00:57

They can hear you across the house.

01:00:59

Including Raffaello,

01:01:01

the powdered man you met before.

01:01:04

And Turnswald.

01:01:04

You guys remember him?

01:01:06

Oh yeah.

01:01:07

He made our shit.

01:01:09

Didn't he?

01:01:10

Oh yeah.

01:01:11

He's the expert.

01:01:12

Yeah.

01:01:14

He kind of comes stumbling

01:01:15

and he's been drinking all night as well

01:01:17

and he puts his hand on Raffaello's shoulder

01:01:20

and he goes,

01:01:20

Hey.

01:01:21

I think I know this guy.

01:01:24

I know how we can get him sober.

01:01:31

So the captain has drawn,

01:01:32

needless to say,

01:01:33

quite a crowd.

01:01:34

Nice.

01:01:35

I'm going to start...

01:01:36

I'm going to start tinkering on this box.

01:01:38

Okay.

01:01:40

Go ahead and roll for tinker.

01:01:44

It's going to be a little desperate.

01:01:46

Or what's one below...

01:01:48

Because it's risky normally.

01:01:48

I would say it's desperate.

01:01:49

Because you have a time crunch here.

01:01:53

All right.

01:01:54

Pretty tight one.

01:01:55

Push yourself.

01:01:57

I would like to push myself.

01:02:00

Wait, then...

01:02:01

What am I taking on stress?

01:02:02

You'll take on two stress,

01:02:05

but you'll also get an additional roll.

01:02:06

Okay.

01:02:07

Die.

01:02:07

So I can...

01:02:08

That's the modifier plus 1D.

01:02:10

Yes.

01:02:12

And then don't you have like a...

01:02:13

Awesome skills?

01:02:16

Probably.

01:02:17

You probably have a lockpicking kit.

01:02:22

Well, I have...

01:02:23

I think I have a standard load,

01:02:25

but...

01:02:26

Um...

01:02:27

Yeah.

01:02:28

But I don't think you have...

01:02:29

Besides your finger guns,

01:02:30

I don't think you've, uh...

01:02:32

loaded anything yet.

01:02:33

No.

01:02:34

No, those...

01:02:36

They're registered weapons.

01:02:38

Uh...

01:02:40

Okay.

01:02:40

Sure.

01:02:41

So then, yes.

01:02:42

Tinkering tools.

01:02:44

I got those.

01:02:46

In my pockets.

01:02:48

All right.

01:02:48

So then it'll be plus 2.

01:02:49

Plus the one I already have,

01:02:51

or...

01:02:52

2 together.

01:02:53

All together.

01:02:53

2 all together.

01:02:55

Okay.

01:02:56

Plus 1 for pushing yourself,

01:02:57

if you still want to do that,

01:02:58

and then plus 1 for, uh...

01:03:00

Well, then whatever your...

01:03:02

Your tinkering is.

01:03:03

Yeah.

01:03:04

Right.

01:03:04

On top of your tinker.

01:03:05

All right.

01:03:05

I mean, it's automatically calculating that,

01:03:07

so...

01:03:08

All right.

01:03:11

Holy shit.

01:03:14

Only partial.

01:03:16

Partial.

01:03:16

Uh, you...

01:03:21

Tell me how you tinker this glass case.

01:03:23

Uh, the lock is not particularly,

01:03:24

uh...

01:03:26

Like, it's not magical or anything like that.

01:03:28

Okay.

01:03:28

Uh, was it difficult for me?

01:03:30

Uh, yeah.

01:03:32

I think...

01:03:33

I think maybe the stress and the timing of it

01:03:35

made you a little fumbly.

01:03:36

All right.

01:03:37

Well, I'm looking over my shoulder the entire time

01:03:38

watching Captain just finger gun from left to right

01:03:40

talking about various fishes.

01:03:42

marlins, whales, seals, crustaceans,

01:03:45

just all manner of wildlife

01:03:48

that he may or may not have fallen in love or lust with.

01:03:51

Yeah.

01:03:53

Or mistaking them for various merpeople.

01:03:56

And, um...

01:03:58

I'm fumbling around.

01:03:59

It's not immediately clear that...

01:04:01

How to do this

01:04:02

because it's just, like,

01:04:03

such a fancy lock.

01:04:04

And I look over at Squish

01:04:05

and he's sweating, I think.

01:04:07

Or...

01:04:08

I don't know.

01:04:09

Squish?

01:04:09

Yeah.

01:04:11

I'm just watching you fumble with it.

01:04:13

Okay.

01:04:13

Uh...

01:04:14

But I feel an immense amount of pressure.

01:04:16

Like rubbing my forehead

01:04:18

to get rid of the sweat.

01:04:19

Yeah.

01:04:20

And I'm dabbing sweat off of my forehead, too,

01:04:23

with my tie.

01:04:23

And I just keep going

01:04:25

and eventually it pops open,

01:04:27

to my surprise.

01:04:27

I wasn't even expecting it to open

01:04:29

at the time it opened,

01:04:29

but it does pop open.

01:04:31

And...

01:04:32

Who has the fake?

01:04:34

I do.

01:04:35

Okay.

01:04:35

Uh...

01:04:37

Unfortunately.

01:04:38

I motion over for you.

01:04:40

All right.

01:04:41

I walk over and I try...

01:04:43

I place it in the...

01:04:44

the...

01:04:45

the container.

01:04:46

All right.

01:04:47

And I slam it closed

01:04:49

and I look over at the captain

01:04:52

who's eyeing me

01:04:53

over the shoulders

01:04:53

of everybody he's talking to

01:04:55

while he's telling

01:04:55

just poppycock stories

01:04:56

and I give him two big...

01:04:57

As soon as you finish

01:05:04

putting the fake in there

01:05:07

and you're locking,

01:05:08

you're giving him finger guns,

01:05:09

you can hear

01:05:11

from somewhere in the house

01:05:13

some chimes like,

01:05:14

do do do do do do do do do do do.

01:05:16

It is one hour has passed

01:05:18

and the fake,

01:05:19

or the real one

01:05:20

is about to be brought out.

01:05:22

I still don't know

01:05:23

what we're going to do

01:05:24

after this squish.

01:05:25

I feel like we're...

01:05:26

uh...

01:05:28

flying by the seat

01:05:29

of our pants here.

01:05:29

Yeah, that's...

01:05:32

that's our MO.

01:05:32

Um...

01:05:35

All right.

01:05:36

I have an idea.

01:05:38

What's your idea?

01:05:41

My idea is perhaps

01:05:43

we can get the expert

01:05:44

to declare ours

01:05:46

the real one.

01:05:47

But he doesn't...

01:05:49

That's not what we want.

01:05:49

Well, I thought we wanted

01:05:52

to sell the fake one.

01:05:53

No, we want...

01:05:54

we want it to be known

01:05:56

after it's sold,

01:05:57

the expert's going to come in

01:05:59

and tell everyone it's fake.

01:06:01

Oh, to embarrass them.

01:06:03

Yes.

01:06:04

Right.

01:06:04

So that's going to be

01:06:05

not great.

01:06:06

No, so...

01:06:08

we have to steal

01:06:09

the real one somehow

01:06:10

and the confusion.

01:06:12

Does anyone have

01:06:15

a smoke bomb?

01:06:15

Let me check

01:06:18

my load out.

01:06:19

Does anybody have

01:06:21

any chili powder?

01:06:23

What about human hair

01:06:27

from a baby?

01:06:28

Ah, yes.

01:06:29

The most flammable hair

01:06:30

of all.

01:06:31

Is that true?

01:06:34

That's why they put

01:06:35

those little caps on them.

01:06:36

On the babies?

01:06:38

On the babies.

01:06:40

Yeah, you see babies

01:06:41

they always put hats on them.

01:06:42

Oh.

01:06:43

No.

01:06:44

It's because their hair

01:06:46

is so flammable.

01:06:46

I've never seen a baby.

01:06:48

What?

01:06:50

Are you talking as chuckles

01:06:52

or as yourself now?

01:06:53

Is this in or out of character?

01:06:55

Sometimes it's hard to know.

01:06:57

No.

01:06:57

No.

01:06:57

No.

01:06:57

All right.

01:07:01

I'm starting to slowly walk

01:07:04

towards the door

01:07:05

and the captain.

01:07:06

Squish, what are you doing?

01:07:12

I'm going to hang out

01:07:14

by the back table, so...

01:07:16

Okay.

01:07:16

But, like, I'm going to walk away

01:07:18

so it doesn't look like

01:07:18

I was the last one

01:07:20

by the...

01:07:21

Right.

01:07:22

Real casual, like.

01:07:24

Yeah.

01:07:24

I'm standing on this detritus now.

01:07:27

Kind of, like, just...

01:07:29

Like, doing this.

01:07:30

Like, even though I'm talking,

01:07:31

like, telling a story.

01:07:32

Like, I'm conducting an orchestra.

01:07:35

Captain.

01:07:35

Yes?

01:07:38

This is me.

01:07:39

Char...

01:07:43

Char...

01:07:44

Juckles.

01:07:45

Your...

01:07:45

Boy.

01:07:47

What am I?

01:07:48

Your cabin boy.

01:07:49

Ah, my cabin boy.

01:07:51

Yes.

01:07:52

This is the lad

01:07:52

I was telling you about.

01:07:54

Yes, yes.

01:07:55

Charles Xander Juckles.

01:07:55

Right.

01:07:56

He's my cabin boy.

01:07:57

I'm so proud of him.

01:07:59

This is the one

01:08:00

that actually landed

01:08:00

the mermaid.

01:08:01

We have places to be,

01:08:03

and I'm trying to get you out,

01:08:04

like when a...

01:08:05

When, like, a politician's assistant

01:08:07

is trying to get them

01:08:08

out of the place.

01:08:08

You know?

01:08:09

We have places to be.

01:08:10

All right.

01:08:11

We have got to go,

01:08:12

my friends.

01:08:13

My fellow friends and audience.

01:08:15

You have been a great one.

01:08:16

What a crowd.

01:08:17

What a crowd.

01:08:18

I couldn't ask for a better one.

01:08:20

Vote for me in the...

01:08:22

In the voting season.

01:08:23

Whatever that means.

01:08:25

What are we doing?

01:08:25

Am I running for election?

01:08:27

No.

01:08:27

I'm doing something.

01:08:28

No.

01:08:29

You...

01:08:29

All right.

01:08:29

Let's just go.

01:08:30

I'm...

01:08:31

Look for me in the funny.

01:08:34

Please.

01:08:34

As you turn and go down the hallway,

01:08:40

you see Watt and two men behind him.

01:08:43

These are two guards,

01:08:45

and between the two of them,

01:08:46

they are holding a little box

01:08:49

on their own little glass case

01:08:50

with the lion inside.

01:08:53

Is there anybody else in this room?

01:08:54

No.

01:08:56

Everyone has either

01:08:57

backed away from this strange screaming man

01:09:01

or they're inexplicably drawn to him.

01:09:04

So everyone...

01:09:05

The hallway itself is empty.

01:09:06

All right.

01:09:09

I need to make a desperate move,

01:09:11

I think.

01:09:12

All right.

01:09:16

I'm going to punch one of them

01:09:20

and give him a real low blow.

01:09:22

One of the...

01:09:23

The person that looks like

01:09:24

they have the most control over the egg

01:09:26

or lion,

01:09:26

whatever the fuck it is.

01:09:27

I don't know.

01:09:29

I think that's a lie.

01:09:30

You're just going to go with...

01:09:33

Punch one of them?

01:09:35

I want to do like one of those old tricks

01:09:37

where I do that...

01:09:38

Where I shake my hand

01:09:39

and they look up into your hand

01:09:40

and I just punch him right in the nuts.

01:09:43

All right.

01:09:44

Captain,

01:09:45

what are you going to do

01:09:45

while he goes and punches the guard?

01:09:47

I'm going to grab...

01:09:52

Oh, shit.

01:09:53

Fire.

01:09:53

Oh, no.

01:09:55

They're rabid.

01:09:58

They're exploding.

01:10:00

Sorry.

01:10:06

It spooked me.

01:10:13

Um...

01:10:14

I'm honestly...

01:10:15

Maybe we should take a quick break

01:10:17

before we continue.

01:10:19

Maybe you should close that damn window.

01:10:20

It's been nothing but distractions.

01:10:22

I just need to run

01:10:24

and get something to drink.

01:10:25

If you want to take a quick break.

01:10:28

Okay.

01:10:29

Okay.

01:10:38

honoring this decided in a studio

01:10:47

in a studio

01:10:55

I'm sorry.

01:11:54

I'm sorry.

01:12:00

I'm sorry.

01:12:04

I'm sorry.

01:12:06

I'm sorry.

01:12:14

I'm sorry.

01:12:16

I'm sorry.

01:12:40

I'm sorry.

01:12:52

I'm sorry.

01:13:00

Really, Brandon and Andy are the glue that hold this group together.

01:13:04

Do you think they're with each other right now?

01:13:08

No.

01:13:08

That'd be ridiculous.

01:13:10

But what if they were?

01:13:12

But sometimes you and Boo are with each other.

01:13:14

That's true.

01:13:16

Sometimes.

01:13:16

That's true.

01:13:18

Sometimes.

01:13:20

Oh, man.

01:13:22

How will they get out of this one?

01:13:26

Yeah.

01:13:28

You'll see.

01:13:29

Throat crunch was not in my potentialities list.

01:13:32

Do you have a potentialities list?

01:13:36

No.

01:13:37

I try to think.

01:13:38

I was going to say, you're a way better DM than me.

01:13:41

I try to think what you might do, but every once in a while, throat punch just sleeps through the clocks.

01:13:47

No, it's nut punch.

01:13:49

Oh, nut punch.

01:13:53

I have an idea for a flashback when everyone gets back, if I may.

01:13:57

Oh, of course.

01:13:58

Never the matter.

01:14:05

What is that?

01:14:08

Is that Harry Potter?

01:14:09

No, it's from this parody someone made of the new Velma TV show.

01:14:18

Have you watched it?

01:14:19

No, I've watched the parody a lot, though.

01:14:22

So.

01:14:23

Oh, I've seen the trailer and I felt like that was enough.

01:14:26

Yeah, I'm a big fan of Scooby Doo.

01:14:29

I really like a lot of it.

01:14:31

And it seems like Velma doesn't really like it as much.

01:14:34

And he does too.

01:14:37

Like the show.

01:14:38

Oh, they're making fun of it and not in a good way.

01:14:41

Yeah, but not in like a ha ha, isn't this a little archaic and funny, but more of like a mean spirited way.

01:14:48

What is this?

01:14:50

I don't like her ever.

01:14:52

Mindy Kaling.

01:14:53

Oh, I don't like her either.

01:14:54

Yeah.

01:14:55

So I refuse to watch it as soon as I knew she was involved.

01:14:58

Watch that video that, uh, did we send you that video?

01:15:01

The scary one?

01:15:02

The parody?

01:15:03

Yeah, where it's like...

01:15:04

Yeah.

01:15:05

Ugh.

01:15:06

Never the matter.

01:15:07

I just...

01:15:08

Yeah, that one's a good one.

01:15:10

Watch it.

01:15:11

It's pretty, uh, it's pretty eldritch.

01:15:12

I like eldritch.

01:15:16

Are you smoking?

01:15:18

In my house?

01:15:19

Without my consent?

01:15:22

He just saw a rabbit explode.

01:15:24

Yeah, cut the man.

01:15:26

He's got PTSD.

01:15:29

And I started dying because it scared me.

01:15:32

I inhaled my spit.

01:15:34

Explode now?

01:15:36

I'm gonna explode.

01:15:38

All right.

01:15:38

So what was I doing?

01:15:39

Um, someone was grabbing something, um, before the fireworks happened.

01:15:45

Who are you punching in the dick?

01:15:46

All right.

01:15:47

So I have a flashback.

01:15:49

Uh, you said that they're like, there's two guards and between them they're carrying this

01:15:54

big artifact.

01:15:55

And the water guy.

01:15:57

They're carrying a box with the artifact in it.

01:15:59

Yeah.

01:16:00

All right.

01:16:01

Uh, I'd like to go in a flashback to when, uh, we're all in the junk fort and it's nighttime

01:16:09

and, uh, we're all just laying in our various sleeping corners.

01:16:15

And I ask if anybody's awake and everyone is awake and we stand around the hole, like it's

01:16:22

a campfire and we talk about like just stories.

01:16:24

And I tell this story about like when I was a kid and I was in this situation in which, um,

01:16:31

I was feeling very desperate and these two kids were holding my lunchbox and they were keeping

01:16:38

it away from me.

01:16:39

And then I just started punching nuts.

01:16:42

But when I retold the story, I had like this very unique and like, I don't know, what do

01:16:50

you call it?

01:16:52

Like, like violence in my eyes that you could see.

01:16:54

And you're, you, and I think, uh, Captain, you saw that look of desperation and violence

01:17:01

in my eyes right before I walk up to these people.

01:17:04

So you know what I'm about to do, which is just go nut hunting.

01:17:09

He's got that look in his eye.

01:17:13

Exactly.

01:17:14

Everybody run!

01:17:15

No, don't tell them to run!

01:17:16

I mean, I don't know what you do, but you know that I am backed into a corner.

01:17:28

I am desperate.

01:17:29

I'm going to punch these people in the nuts.

01:17:30

Uh, cause we do have to, we're stealing it.

01:17:33

Right?

01:17:34

You, you do have to do something with that other, uh, that other artifact.

01:17:40

It has to disappear.

01:17:41

Mm-hmm.

01:17:42

Yeah.

01:17:44

All right.

01:17:44

I think I've got a plan.

01:17:46

Well, you're in the other room though.

01:17:48

Yeah.

01:17:49

And I'm about to go nut hunting.

01:17:50

I hear, I hear Captain yell, he's got that look.

01:17:55

And I start, I start, I start walking, or well, running out to see the nut hunt commence.

01:18:03

All right.

01:18:04

Uh, what walks, walk, what, sorry, is oblivious to your nut hunting rage.

01:18:13

And he just, uh, walks up to you guys and he's like, hello.

01:18:16

Uh, the artifact is here at last.

01:18:19

Uh, we're just going to go put it in the, uh, in the ball room or the, uh, study.

01:18:24

He doesn't know how they're talking.

01:18:26

He doesn't know how they're talking and I just

01:18:28

jack him in the nuts.

01:18:29

So he just says ballroom.

01:18:32

I just imagine ballroom blitz!

01:18:39

Ballroom blitz!

01:18:41

Alright, you knock what?

01:18:44

Is that what you'd like to do?

01:18:47

I'm out of laws, but yes,

01:18:50

I had that look in my eyes. He warned him.

01:18:53

Okay.

01:18:53

You have to roll a wreck.

01:19:00

You have to wreck his balls.

01:19:02

I don't know how I could help you in this.

01:19:09

Is that what you're saying to them or

01:19:12

everywhere to us?

01:19:14

Well, I think about it. I think it.

01:19:16

I'm telling you two.

01:19:19

Here.

01:19:21

I wish I could help you punch this guy in the nuts.

01:19:23

Oh, he's got that look in his eyes.

01:19:27

Punch the owner of the house.

01:19:31

The host of the party.

01:19:33

In the nuts.

01:19:34

Alright.

01:19:38

I don't know if this is a great idea.

01:19:41

Does he have to roll?

01:19:43

Yeah.

01:19:44

Yeah, no, he does.

01:19:46

If you want to punch him in the nuts, you can wreck him.

01:19:48

Or you can come up with something else to do in your blood rage.

01:19:51

My nut rage.

01:19:52

And I am going to stress myself.

01:19:54

I feel like I don't really have a choice at this point.

01:19:57

Yeah, it's a desperate maneuver.

01:20:00

This is pretty risky.

01:20:01

Pretty desperate.

01:20:03

Pretty desperate.

01:20:03

I'm going to start walking towards the two carry in the box.

01:20:07

Alright.

01:20:11

You wail on this poor guy.

01:20:15

You get him right in the graham crackers.

01:20:17

He doesn't even think.

01:20:20

He just crumples to the ground.

01:20:21

And the two guards just stop.

01:20:23

Just dead.

01:20:25

Just because they've never seen someone get punched in the nuts.

01:20:28

Quite so hard.

01:20:30

I got two more where that came from.

01:20:31

You lad's about to run.

01:20:33

He's on a rampage.

01:20:35

He's running.

01:20:37

And I start like a bear.

01:20:41

I go, oh my god, what a maniac.

01:20:43

And I look at the two guards.

01:20:45

I'm like, you have to get him.

01:20:46

And one of you has to get him.

01:20:48

One of you has to help Watt out.

01:20:53

The guards don't really know what to do.

01:20:55

So one of them hands the box to the other one.

01:20:57

And he rushes over to Watt.

01:20:58

And is like struggling to get Watt to stand.

01:21:01

Who is just completely like crumpled in pain at this point.

01:21:04

His eyes are completely crossed.

01:21:06

Just completely.

01:21:07

He can't.

01:21:08

He can't think.

01:21:09

He can't breathe.

01:21:10

And he just kind of has his hand over Watt.

01:21:15

And he's kind of like.

01:21:15

As Watt's limping.

01:21:18

You know.

01:21:18

You know.

01:21:19

Upstairs.

01:21:20

He manages to take him upstairs.

01:21:22

He's still in the room.

01:21:23

I want to.

01:21:24

Well.

01:21:24

I want to sway the other.

01:21:26

The other guard.

01:21:27

The guard holding the box set.

01:21:28

Give me the box.

01:21:29

I'll take it into the room.

01:21:30

Everything will be fine.

01:21:31

You have to go look after.

01:21:32

Or.

01:21:33

You have to go.

01:21:33

Get the.

01:21:35

The guy that assaulted him.

01:21:36

That's me.

01:21:37

And you're going to try to sway him.

01:21:39

Convince him.

01:21:39

Yeah.

01:21:40

I pretend to grab Chuckles.

01:21:42

Like I'm holding him back.

01:21:43

Like I'm.

01:21:44

You know.

01:21:44

Stand here, man.

01:21:45

What are you doing?

01:21:46

So are you going to assist him.

01:21:48

By making him look real scary?

01:21:49

Yeah.

01:21:50

Yeah.

01:21:50

And Chuckles.

01:21:51

Chuckles.

01:21:51

When he gets.

01:21:52

When that guard gets close.

01:21:53

Whale at him.

01:21:55

Whale on those duds.

01:21:57

Okay.

01:22:00

Swish.

01:22:00

Swish.

01:22:01

I'll give you a.

01:22:02

Plus one from Brandon.

01:22:04

For.

01:22:05

For his assistance.

01:22:06

And try to sway him.

01:22:07

All right.

01:22:07

I'm going to push myself too.

01:22:09

All right.

01:22:10

Make sure when you're pushing.

01:22:11

You're giving yourself one stress.

01:22:12

I know you don't have to take stress normally.

01:22:13

But.

01:22:13

Yeah.

01:22:15

No.

01:22:16

I don't take injury.

01:22:16

Oh.

01:22:17

That's right.

01:22:18

You don't take injury.

01:22:18

I've been.

01:22:19

I've been giving myself to stress.

01:22:21

Okay.

01:22:22

Perfect.

01:22:22

It's good to be.

01:22:23

Risky.

01:22:23

Risky.

01:22:26

Yeah.

01:22:27

Risky.

01:22:29

I mean.

01:22:30

This guy just saw someone get like.

01:22:31

Knocked out.

01:22:31

Punch in the nuts.

01:22:32

I think it's pretty.

01:22:33

Risky.

01:22:34

He gives you.

01:22:35

He.

01:22:36

He.

01:22:37

He gives you.

01:22:38

The box.

01:22:40

And he starts to kind of.

01:22:42

Walk.

01:22:43

He.

01:22:43

He follows the other guard.

01:22:45

Who's struggling to help Watt upstairs.

01:22:46

Because Watt has just become stiff as a board.

01:22:48

At this point.

01:22:49

He is.

01:22:50

He is.

01:22:53

Incapacitated.

01:22:54

All right.

01:22:56

I take the box.

01:22:57

I start walking it towards the.

01:22:58

Ball room.

01:22:59

Right.

01:23:02

Oh wait.

01:23:03

You didn't say that out loud.

01:23:04

I was going to.

01:23:05

I was going to say Watt.

01:23:06

So.

01:23:06

Don't say that word.

01:23:10

I'm just going to take this to the ball room now.

01:23:13

The ball room.

01:23:14

All right.

01:23:20

And then I walk it up to the table.

01:23:21

But.

01:23:24

I go behind the table.

01:23:26

And then I set the thing on the ground.

01:23:29

And.

01:23:30

I'm going to break the glass.

01:23:32

And take it.

01:23:33

Into your.

01:23:34

Inside the ball room or.

01:23:36

Inside the ball room.

01:23:37

I'm going to.

01:23:37

I'm going to bring the.

01:23:39

The real.

01:23:40

Lion out there.

01:23:40

Okay.

01:23:42

Set it.

01:23:43

I'm going to.

01:23:43

Set it on the ground.

01:23:44

And I'm going to break the glass.

01:23:45

And take the real line.

01:23:47

Okay.

01:23:49

I mean.

01:23:49

It's just glass.

01:23:50

I don't think you need to roll.

01:23:51

Anything special for that.

01:23:52

You definitely are.

01:23:53

Able to take it.

01:23:54

But he doesn't have any toes.

01:23:57

In my hat.

01:23:58

He puts it in your hat.

01:24:00

When you put it in your hat.

01:24:01

You hear.

01:24:02

A little voice.

01:24:03

Just go.

01:24:03

Hello.

01:24:07

What the fuck.

01:24:08

Hello.

01:24:12

Hello.

01:24:14

Hello.

01:24:14

Oh no.

01:24:17

This thing is cursed.

01:24:18

I'm hearing voices now.

01:24:21

Do we need a refresher.

01:24:23

On what it looks like.

01:24:23

It is cursed.

01:24:24

Oh shoot.

01:24:26

I forgot what it looks like.

01:24:27

That is a cursed lion.

01:24:29

Hello.

01:24:32

Hello.

01:24:36

All right.

01:24:36

So you break the glass.

01:24:38

You steal the lion.

01:24:39

Everyone's kind of gathered.

01:24:42

Into the ballroom.

01:24:44

At this point.

01:24:44

Because now the crowning joy.

01:24:46

Is on display.

01:24:48

And everyone starts to go.

01:24:50

And look at it.

01:24:51

People are filtering in.

01:24:53

And out of the room.

01:24:53

There's supposed to be another hour.

01:24:56

Before the audition.

01:24:57

Or the audition.

01:24:58

The auction takes place.

01:24:59

What would you guys.

01:25:00

Like to do for an hour.

01:25:03

Well.

01:25:03

I feel.

01:25:04

I feel like the guards.

01:25:06

Are still coming after me.

01:25:07

They're going to help.

01:25:09

Wad upstairs.

01:25:10

But you have a few minutes.

01:25:11

Oh.

01:25:13

None of them are.

01:25:13

None of them are.

01:25:14

Coming after me.

01:25:15

No.

01:25:17

They were too.

01:25:18

I don't.

01:25:19

They did not.

01:25:19

Hear what happened.

01:25:21

In the hallway.

01:25:22

Because.

01:25:23

Surprisingly.

01:25:24

Punching a guy.

01:25:25

In the nuts.

01:25:25

Doesn't make a lot of noise.

01:25:27

So I've been holding.

01:25:28

I've been holding this guy.

01:25:29

For 10 minutes.

01:25:30

For nothing.

01:25:31

Oh.

01:25:32

I thought they saw me.

01:25:33

I thought Wad was like.

01:25:34

Right in front of him.

01:25:34

And everybody saw me.

01:25:35

Just.

01:25:36

Wail on this guy's.

01:25:38

Tallywhacker.

01:25:39

No.

01:25:39

So.

01:25:39

Everyone was in the.

01:25:41

It was either.

01:25:42

Out.

01:25:43

In the.

01:25:43

Drawing room.

01:25:44

Or in the.

01:25:45

Ball roof.

01:25:46

And Wad was coming down.

01:25:48

To bring the.

01:25:49

The lion.

01:25:50

Into the ball room.

01:25:51

Oh.

01:25:52

But they hadn't done that yet.

01:25:53

Oh.

01:25:54

I thought I was.

01:25:55

Okay.

01:25:56

All right.

01:25:56

Because I would have.

01:25:57

I would.

01:25:57

I think in that case.

01:25:58

I would have just hit the guards.

01:26:00

But.

01:26:01

I guess I.

01:26:02

Wailed on.

01:26:03

But you didn't.

01:26:03

Yes.

01:26:04

I did.

01:26:06

Not rage.

01:26:06

Captain.

01:26:09

Captain.

01:26:09

I don't know what came over me.

01:26:10

I don't know either.

01:26:13

It was definitely.

01:26:15

Something.

01:26:16

Yeah.

01:26:17

That was a little.

01:26:20

Nuts.

01:26:21

Yeah.

01:26:22

Let's get the fuck out of here.

01:26:31

All right.

01:26:32

I.

01:26:32

I don't.

01:26:34

Remember.

01:26:35

We don't need.

01:26:35

To.

01:26:36

Oh.

01:26:37

I.

01:26:38

Don't know if we need to be here.

01:26:40

We just need that guy.

01:26:41

To.

01:26:41

I guess.

01:26:42

Yeah.

01:26:42

We got it.

01:26:43

Yeah.

01:26:43

We got.

01:26:43

We got.

01:26:43

We need that guy.

01:26:44

To.

01:26:45

Not.

01:26:45

I mean.

01:26:46

He's already drunk.

01:26:47

So.

01:26:47

Squish might have to slap him.

01:26:49

Oh.

01:26:51

Yeah.

01:26:52

I'll slap that guy.

01:26:53

Slap him.

01:26:54

Slap him sober.

01:26:55

But.

01:26:56

I think.

01:26:57

Me.

01:26:59

And the captain.

01:26:59

We'll start going out.

01:27:01

To the break area.

01:27:02

And see if we can't find.

01:27:04

Some cigarettes to drink.

01:27:06

Gang cigarettes.

01:27:10

All right.

01:27:12

You could.

01:27:13

Captain.

01:27:13

You're going outside too?

01:27:14

Yep.

01:27:14

I could use some sobering cigarettes.

01:27:16

It's been.

01:27:18

Turn's follow is.

01:27:18

Sorry.

01:27:20

No.

01:27:21

Go ahead.

01:27:21

I was just going to say.

01:27:23

Turn's follow is in the.

01:27:24

Is in the ballroom.

01:27:25

He's overlooking all the.

01:27:26

The pieces.

01:27:27

And he's kind of.

01:27:28

You know.

01:27:28

Bringing his glasses down.

01:27:29

And squinting at them.

01:27:30

And putting them back up.

01:27:32

You know.

01:27:33

Just.

01:27:34

Just.

01:27:35

You can't quite tell if he's.

01:27:36

He's stumbling for sure.

01:27:37

All right.

01:27:39

So.

01:27:40

I asked him.

01:27:40

I'm like.

01:27:40

Are you.

01:27:41

Okay.

01:27:42

To.

01:27:42

Tell everyone that that one's a fake.

01:27:44

Like.

01:27:44

I whisper it to him.

01:27:45

Fake.

01:27:47

I don't think any of these things are fake.

01:27:49

I course can do my job.

01:27:51

What do you think I am?

01:27:52

I'm not some.

01:27:53

Surly pirate.

01:27:54

Fornicating with fish.

01:27:56

Uh.

01:27:57

You know.

01:27:58

I.

01:27:59

I'm perfectly.

01:28:00

Perfectly.

01:28:01

And he.

01:28:02

He.

01:28:02

As he says this.

01:28:03

He's blowing.

01:28:03

A whiskey breath.

01:28:05

An onion breath.

01:28:05

Because you gave him an onion soup earlier.

01:28:07

Uh.

01:28:08

Into his.

01:28:09

Into your nostrils.

01:28:10

I'm perfectly fine.

01:28:11

Oh boy.

01:28:12

Oh.

01:28:13

You need to sober up a little bit.

01:28:15

I'm.

01:28:17

I.

01:28:17

I've never heard such a preposterous thing.

01:28:20

In my life.

01:28:21

I'm going to slap him in the face.

01:28:25

Wreck his face.

01:28:26

Wreck his face.

01:28:28

Right.

01:28:29

Wreck his face.

01:28:29

Wreck his face.

01:28:35

No.

01:28:35

Fail.

01:28:36

Uh.

01:28:37

You slap him.

01:28:38

But this does get the attention.

01:28:40

Of the guards.

01:28:41

And uh.

01:28:42

They're like.

01:28:42

Is there a problem here.

01:28:43

Sir.

01:28:44

Yeah.

01:28:45

This guy.

01:28:45

Is being a.

01:28:48

Jerk.

01:28:49

Jerk.

01:28:50

He's blowing onion.

01:28:51

He's blowing onion whiskey in my face.

01:28:53

And they.

01:28:54

They.

01:28:55

Uh.

01:28:55

They look at turn swallow.

01:28:56

Who's you know.

01:28:57

You know.

01:28:57

Very wobbly.

01:28:58

And kind of.

01:28:59

You know.

01:28:59

Uh.

01:29:01

And they take.

01:29:01

Uh.

01:29:02

They take him.

01:29:03

By each arm.

01:29:04

And they say.

01:29:04

Let's go.

01:29:05

And they.

01:29:05

Lead him to the front of the house.

01:29:07

Open the door.

01:29:08

And proceed to throw him out.

01:29:10

But he's the expert.

01:29:11

Yeah.

01:29:13

Well.

01:29:13

We don't fuck that up.

01:29:14

Everything was going so smoothly before.

01:29:19

Yes.

01:29:20

Oh.

01:29:25

Oh.

01:29:25

Turn swallow is.

01:29:27

Is.

01:29:27

Out on the front porch.

01:29:29

Boop.

01:29:31

There he goes.

01:29:34

I'm sure he's got.

01:29:37

I'm sure he's got it under control.

01:29:39

Captain.

01:29:39

I'm sure.

01:29:40

It's easy sailing on the way out.

01:29:42

Oh yeah.

01:29:43

Everything's going to be.

01:29:44

This is a fucking mission.

01:29:46

Done so well.

01:29:47

I stick my head out.

01:29:49

I stick my head out the door.

01:29:49

And go.

01:29:50

Guys.

01:29:50

It's fucked up.

01:29:52

What do you mean?

01:29:54

It's fucked up.

01:29:55

Turn swallow just got kicked out.

01:29:57

Uh.

01:29:59

What?

01:29:59

That's not good.

01:30:00

We needed him.

01:30:01

No.

01:30:02

Yes.

01:30:03

Did you get his glasses.

01:30:05

No.

01:30:08

Why would I get his glasses?

01:30:09

I don't know.

01:30:10

But I thought maybe it would work as a disguise.

01:30:12

Why don't.

01:30:14

Yeah.

01:30:14

Exactly.

01:30:15

Why don't one of us pretend to be turn swallow.

01:30:17

And we'll authenticate it ourselves.

01:30:19

Although I feel like we.

01:30:21

Each have quite a high profile at this point.

01:30:23

I mean.

01:30:23

One of us is red.

01:30:24

What?

01:30:28

My touch?

01:30:28

Arguably.

01:30:29

The red ones caused the least amount of damage.

01:30:31

One of you wailed on a guy and is nuts.

01:30:34

And the other one knocked down a whole bookcase in the library.

01:30:36

And told very invigorating stories.

01:30:40

Some of which may have been true.

01:30:42

I'm sure some of them had to be.

01:30:46

Wait.

01:30:48

This guy in the library.

01:30:49

Yeah.

01:30:51

He looks smart.

01:30:52

Oh wait.

01:30:54

So the lion is a Ruvian?

01:30:57

Yes.

01:30:58

And these two people are a Ruvian?

01:31:01

Yes.

01:31:03

Okay.

01:31:04

I want to go talk to the girl.

01:31:05

All right.

01:31:06

I said we just.

01:31:07

Amelia.

01:31:08

I said we just take this thing and run.

01:31:09

So Squish.

01:31:10

Squish was just talking to himself.

01:31:12

And then he disappeared.

01:31:13

And.

01:31:14

Chuckle and the captain just kind of look at each other.

01:31:17

Do you know what he was talking about?

01:31:20

He said everything was fucked.

01:31:21

I don't know what that means.

01:31:22

But.

01:31:23

Let's take the lion and get the fuck out of here.

01:31:25

Can't be good.

01:31:26

He has the lion in his hat.

01:31:28

I think.

01:31:28

Oh my God.

01:31:30

We need to get that lion.

01:31:31

And I pass.

01:31:32

He can tell us how to get out of here.

01:31:33

Hey.

01:31:37

Hey lion.

01:31:40

I want to talk to the lion.

01:31:41

Do you have a name?

01:31:42

If I told you.

01:31:45

I'd be lion.

01:31:45

Oh.

01:31:48

Wait.

01:31:49

No.

01:31:50

Now we got two.

01:31:51

Oh no.

01:31:51

I don't need a punny bastard.

01:31:54

No.

01:31:57

How can I convince everyone that this.

01:32:00

That the.

01:32:00

The other lion is fake.

01:32:02

Like is there some sort of tell?

01:32:04

Well.

01:32:06

If you.

01:32:08

Had an authenticator.

01:32:10

You could do that.

01:32:11

Yeah.

01:32:12

He.

01:32:13

He's not here.

01:32:15

He got drunk and onioned.

01:32:17

Have you considered.

01:32:21

Pursuing.

01:32:21

A degree.

01:32:23

In a ruby in history.

01:32:24

And becoming an authenticator yourself.

01:32:26

No.

01:32:27

But on that note.

01:32:28

Do you know where I can become a diplomat?

01:32:29

Oh.

01:32:31

I think you have to be of some.

01:32:33

High political standing first.

01:32:35

Or.

01:32:36

There's no.

01:32:36

You have to be rich.

01:32:37

So there's no like community college for that.

01:32:40

Oh.

01:32:42

I.

01:32:42

I haven't gone to university in such a long time.

01:32:45

Oh.

01:32:46

Okay.

01:32:47

Well.

01:32:47

Anyway.

01:32:48

Back on target.

01:32:50

Is there like.

01:32:51

Something only you have.

01:32:53

That the.

01:32:54

The fake wouldn't.

01:32:56

The fake one can't talk.

01:32:59

That is true.

01:33:01

I.

01:33:03

And then I start screaming.

01:33:04

I demand to know.

01:33:05

If this thing is real.

01:33:07

I want to hear it talk.

01:33:08

So you call attention to yourself.

01:33:10

Like do you hit like a glass.

01:33:12

And say.

01:33:12

Everyone look at me.

01:33:14

No.

01:33:14

No.

01:33:15

I just scream really loud.

01:33:16

And I point at the.

01:33:18

The fake one.

01:33:19

Wait you.

01:33:20

Don't you think you should pass out the real one to us first.

01:33:22

Before you go in screaming at the other one's face.

01:33:24

Hammer.

01:33:25

Hammer.

01:33:25

Don't you wait.

01:33:26

I can't trust you.

01:33:27

I think we have to wait till they auction it.

01:33:28

Because they have to buy the auction.

01:33:30

They have to buy it first.

01:33:31

And then we embarrass them.

01:33:32

Oh.

01:33:33

Right.

01:33:33

So.

01:33:34

I mean.

01:33:35

You could just sit there for an hour.

01:33:36

Yeah.

01:33:37

I go.

01:33:38

I go back to the bathroom.

01:33:40

Just talk to the lion a little bit.

01:33:41

For an hour.

01:33:42

Some quality time with the lion.

01:33:47

Yeah.

01:33:47

We don't have to go through.

01:33:48

We don't have to play it out.

01:33:50

Okay.

01:33:53

You're just asking it questions about itself.

01:33:54

There will be flashbacks to this in the future.

01:33:57

Perfect.

01:33:59

Squish.

01:34:01

Captain.

01:34:01

Anything you guys want to do.

01:34:02

While you're chilling out for.

01:34:06

I feel like.

01:34:07

We were super confused.

01:34:09

And also.

01:34:10

We're all hopped up on cigarettes.

01:34:11

We start.

01:34:12

Stitching our clothes together.

01:34:14

Just in case.

01:34:15

We need a long trench coat.

01:34:16

I mean.

01:34:18

Except for my frock coat.

01:34:19

Oh.

01:34:21

What were we stitching together before?

01:34:22

I think it was pieces of carpet.

01:34:26

It was curtains.

01:34:27

Carpet or draper.

01:34:28

Okay.

01:34:29

Oh yeah.

01:34:32

Wasn't it Dee Dee's bed?

01:34:33

No.

01:34:34

Yeah.

01:34:34

Covered in hair.

01:34:35

Dee Dee sleeping on the floor tonight.

01:34:38

There's no way.

01:34:39

We don't need this later.

01:34:40

Just in case.

01:34:42

Right.

01:34:47

Captain.

01:34:48

So.

01:34:51

What are we doing?

01:34:52

Well.

01:34:52

I was just saying.

01:34:53

We were hopped up on cigarettes.

01:34:54

And we started.

01:34:55

We started back on our original plan.

01:34:57

To make a really long.

01:34:58

Trench coat.

01:34:58

So.

01:35:00

Who's going on top?

01:35:01

We're very.

01:35:02

We're very.

01:35:02

Very proud of ourselves.

01:35:04

And.

01:35:04

Yes.

01:35:05

You say.

01:35:05

Who's getting on top?

01:35:06

All right.

01:35:07

Chuckles.

01:35:08

You're shorter.

01:35:09

Get on top.

01:35:11

And I grab.

01:35:12

I grab you.

01:35:13

And just throw you up on my shoulders.

01:35:14

Hey.

01:35:15

Hey.

01:35:16

Get that trench coat on.

01:35:20

And.

01:35:21

You know.

01:35:22

Here.

01:35:22

I don't know.

01:35:24

Comb your hair to the other side.

01:35:27

They'll never notice.

01:35:29

And put on some.

01:35:29

And put on some glasses.

01:35:31

We're Clark Kenton in this thing.

01:35:33

We don't have glasses.

01:35:35

Oh.

01:35:35

Give me your patch.

01:35:36

There you go.

01:35:39

All right.

01:35:44

Let's wait until we're called upon though.

01:35:46

All right.

01:35:48

So we start walking in.

01:35:49

No.

01:35:50

I guess I'm not the legs.

01:35:52

We're not going in.

01:35:53

I'm hitting you on the head.

01:35:54

No.

01:35:56

What are we doing out here?

01:35:58

Just wait.

01:35:58

We're waiting for Squish's signal.

01:36:01

Just take us over by the window.

01:36:02

We'll watch from the window.

01:36:03

All right.

01:36:04

I'm going to walk by the window.

01:36:05

This is really, really tall guy.

01:36:08

In a trench coat.

01:36:09

Standing outside of the window.

01:36:11

Ignore me.

01:36:12

With an eye patch.

01:36:13

Definitely not a pervert.

01:36:19

I turn.

01:36:20

I see you stand outside.

01:36:22

I open up where his crotch should be and stick my head out.

01:36:34

So you guys just kind of waiting for the time to run out until the auction starts?

01:36:47

Yes.

01:36:48

Okay.

01:36:49

We're just going to go ahead then and just jump straight forward to the start of the auction.

01:36:53

An hour has passed since you wailed on poor Watts' balls.

01:36:57

He has not come back.

01:36:58

The guards have come back, but they are looking for you and not a very tall man in a frock standing outside.

01:37:04

So they're a little lost.

01:37:08

The eye patch threw him off.

01:37:09

The eye patch did throw him off.

01:37:12

Lady Everathi, the lady you met before, chuckles.

01:37:18

Kind of comes up to the front of the room and she goes, I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

01:37:24

Our host is indisposed.

01:37:26

So I will be hosting the auction tonight.

01:37:31

Loathe as I am to lose my opportunity to bid on this thing.

01:37:34

If everyone is gathered.

01:37:36

One coin.

01:37:38

Sir, the auction hasn't started quite yet.

01:37:42

Is everybody.

01:37:43

Coins.

01:37:44

Keep up the good spirit.

01:37:48

Are you guys still going to stand outside?

01:37:49

Are you coming in?

01:37:50

No, we're not.

01:37:51

Oh, we're coming in.

01:37:52

What?

01:37:53

I start moving.

01:37:55

We're not going in.

01:37:57

We're not going in.

01:37:58

We are not going in.

01:37:59

I'm very drunk.

01:38:00

We're like wobbling around.

01:38:02

I thought you sobered up.

01:38:04

I'm trying to slap you again.

01:38:05

I'm going to smack your head against the top of the doorframe as we go in.

01:38:09

Ow.

01:38:13

So the bidding starts in earnest.

01:38:16

Um, did I hear two coins?

01:38:18

Three coins.

01:38:20

Three coins.

01:38:22

All right.

01:38:23

Somebody from the other room calls back.

01:38:27

Uh, I'll do 3000.

01:38:29

Oh, shit.

01:38:30

I am out.

01:38:34

Uh, why are we bidding?

01:38:39

Are you two?

01:38:40

Are you two planning on bidding?

01:38:42

Uh, no.

01:38:45

I think what we should do is we should barge in the warm room and claim that that is a fake.

01:38:49

So that Squish can get out as quickly as possible in the confusion.

01:38:55

Or, or, or I make the winning bid.

01:38:59

With how much money?

01:39:03

What money do you have?

01:39:04

You just said 30.

01:39:05

So I'm going to be like, well, I need to be proven it's real.

01:39:09

Yeah, but do you have that much money?

01:39:14

No.

01:39:15

God, no.

01:39:16

She just spent $3,000.

01:39:18

This house has a dungeon.

01:39:23

Yeah, but if I, if I, if I win it, I then demand it to be real and it's fake.

01:39:30

Then they must.

01:39:32

Then I don't have to pay, right?

01:39:34

What if we just, why don't we just cut to the chase and be like, I call that a fake.

01:39:40

Confusion is caused.

01:39:42

And then you run away and we'll jump out the window.

01:39:45

Well, one of us will.

01:39:47

The other one will hit the cell.

01:39:48

Well, it doesn't, it has to be sold first, right?

01:39:52

I mean, somebody has to buy it, but I, presumably everybody in this room wants to buy it.

01:39:57

Or at least one person does.

01:39:59

So why don't we just watch till it sells to anybody and then accuse that it's fake?

01:40:04

Yes.

01:40:05

Yes.

01:40:05

That.

01:40:06

I am out.

01:40:07

I am out at 3,000.

01:40:09

Yeah, I know.

01:40:11

I'm just saying you don't have 3,000.

01:40:12

I know.

01:40:13

I know.

01:40:14

I'm saying I'm out at the auction.

01:40:17

Yeah.

01:40:18

Where's your card?

01:40:20

It only says talking IRL and narrating.

01:40:23

So I don't have an in-character one.

01:40:27

I'm not a character?

01:40:28

I'm a character.

01:40:29

Well, the bidding quickly goes above your taste level.

01:40:35

It goes up to 5,000, 10, 15, 20,000.

01:40:39

Lady Amoria is, bids at 15,000 and she's counted out quickly and she's pretty pissed.

01:40:46

You can tell she's just real flustered by this.

01:40:48

And she walks over to you, squish, because she realizes you're not, no longer in the bidding

01:40:54

as well as the bidding continues.

01:40:56

And she goes, can you believe this?

01:40:57

$30,000 for this thing?

01:41:01

Yeah.

01:41:01

I don't even think it's real.

01:41:02

Oh, it's absolutely real.

01:41:05

It has to be real.

01:41:06

I mean, who would bid that much money on a fake object?

01:41:09

Well, they don't know it's fake.

01:41:11

I mean, I don't know it's fake, but it doesn't.

01:41:15

Is it our time to go in?

01:41:18

No.

01:41:19

Not yet.

01:41:20

All right.

01:41:21

You can tell me when.

01:41:22

I'm going to start running.

01:41:23

Okay.

01:41:25

Into the room.

01:41:27

We're going to scream it's a fake.

01:41:28

Yeah.

01:41:29

Because we're looking through the window.

01:41:30

You can't see through the window, but I can.

01:41:32

No.

01:41:35

The bidding continues.

01:41:38

It goes up to $50,000, $60,000.

01:41:42

And then finally at $75,000, the bidding stops.

01:41:46

And it is sold to, give me one sec.

01:41:52

Madam Teslin, the brothel owner from earlier, $75,000.

01:41:56

She gets it.

01:41:58

Sold to the.

01:42:00

So I walk over and I knock on the window.

01:42:03

What's that?

01:42:05

Hootie who.

01:42:06

As you knock on the window.

01:42:09

Oh, that's the sign.

01:42:09

I start running.

01:42:11

I start running.

01:42:12

We're running.

01:42:12

Before, as you run into the room, Captain, but before you can say anything,

01:42:20

Lady Amaria goes to the front of the room and she goes,

01:42:22

I am incredibly sorry to do this to you.

01:42:25

And she pulls it out.

01:42:27

Out of her handbag, a real gun and points it at the rest of the group,

01:42:32

including squish and including the extra tall man in the back of the room.

01:42:37

After he hit his head on the door.

01:42:39

On the way.

01:42:39

Yeah.

01:42:40

After all these been through.

01:42:42

I'm really sorry.

01:42:45

I didn't want to have to tell you this.

01:42:47

Either I go home with that.

01:42:51

What's going on?

01:42:51

Or I'm blowing up this entire building with everybody inside of it.

01:42:56

With bombs?

01:42:57

Uh oh.

01:42:58

Yeah.

01:42:59

So why do you have the gun?

01:43:02

To make sure nobody finds the bombs.

01:43:05

That's a pretty good argument.

01:43:09

That's why you didn't want me to check out the other room.

01:43:11

And that's why you didn't think I was cute.

01:43:14

That's why you had a gun shaped thing in your pocket.

01:43:19

That's what that was.

01:43:22

I thought it was a penis.

01:43:24

I thought you were a man.

01:43:26

I want my money back.

01:43:30

Wait.

01:43:32

What does she want?

01:43:33

What do you want again?

01:43:34

She wants the lion.

01:43:35

The lion?

01:43:37

She has the lion.

01:43:39

No.

01:43:39

She didn't win it.

01:43:40

No.

01:43:40

No.

01:43:40

No.

01:43:40

Different person.

01:43:41

Prostitute won it.

01:43:43

Right.

01:43:44

The one that turned you down.

01:43:46

But that's not the one that's holding.

01:43:47

Lady Amoria is holding everyone up.

01:43:50

Oh.

01:43:51

Okay.

01:43:53

That was the one that went down in the basement with Squish.

01:43:57

Oh.

01:43:58

Right.

01:43:59

So.

01:43:59

Oh.

01:44:01

I see.

01:44:01

Well.

01:44:02

Lady Tartoria.

01:44:05

Why don't you just give her the lion?

01:44:08

Please.

01:44:13

I do not want to be blown up.

01:44:14

Yeah.

01:44:15

Lady Tesslin.

01:44:15

Give Lady Amorian the lion.

01:44:18

Please.

01:44:19

For the sake of us.

01:44:20

Absolutely not.

01:44:24

Well.

01:44:27

You hear her yell.

01:44:30

Well.

01:44:33

Sounds like that's the end of that argument.

01:44:36

I have another.

01:44:37

The guards are slowly approaching Lady Amoria.

01:44:40

But she waves the gun at them.

01:44:41

She goes.

01:44:41

If I don't say a particular word.

01:44:44

At a particular time.

01:44:46

Everyone in this house.

01:44:47

Will blow up.

01:44:49

Sunflower.

01:44:51

Is that the word?

01:44:54

Shovel.

01:44:55

No.

01:44:55

It is not the word.

01:44:56

Pantalone.

01:44:59

Discombobulate.

01:45:00

Rosebud.

01:45:02

Anti-disacrifice.

01:45:07

Terry.

01:45:08

I can't say it.

01:45:10

What the hell you say?

01:45:11

Chuckles.

01:45:11

You take it.

01:45:12

Dandelion.

01:45:13

Dandelion.

01:45:14

Daffodil.

01:45:16

Tulip.

01:45:18

Flower.

01:45:21

As you guys are saying the word.

01:45:24

She keeps just moving the gun.

01:45:25

Between the three of you.

01:45:28

No.

01:45:28

Well.

01:45:28

She doesn't know.

01:45:29

I mean.

01:45:29

She doesn't know.

01:45:30

I'm in this pants.

01:45:30

Hey.

01:45:31

Hey.

01:45:31

Your crotch.

01:45:32

Yes.

01:45:33

Lady Amoria.

01:45:34

Check that out.

01:45:37

See if it's a fake.

01:45:40

And she looks and she goes.

01:45:41

It's behind a glass.

01:45:42

You have a gun.

01:45:44

Shoot the case.

01:45:46

I will not let any damage.

01:45:49

Come to this piece.

01:45:50

You think.

01:45:51

You think that's how we treat.

01:45:53

Our.

01:45:53

Our.

01:45:54

Precious historical artifacts.

01:45:55

Is we just treat them to be bought.

01:45:57

And sold.

01:45:57

And shot at.

01:45:58

Okay.

01:46:00

If you don't get it.

01:46:01

You're going to blow it up.

01:46:04

Better to be blown up.

01:46:05

Than in the hands.

01:46:06

Of some.

01:46:07

Snooty aristocrat.

01:46:09

Who's only here.

01:46:10

So she can throw money around.

01:46:11

And show everybody.

01:46:12

How.

01:46:12

How impressive she is.

01:46:15

Do you even know.

01:46:16

Who this woman is.

01:46:17

No.

01:46:19

Really.

01:46:20

She looks like a hooker though.

01:46:21

Yeah.

01:46:22

She's.

01:46:23

The hooker.

01:46:24

She's the head.

01:46:25

Of the brothel.

01:46:26

I know.

01:46:26

That's right.

01:46:26

She.

01:46:29

She allows.

01:46:30

Women.

01:46:30

To be sexually exploited.

01:46:31

For her own gain.

01:46:32

And then she uses it.

01:46:33

To buy hard good.

01:46:34

Hard good.

01:46:36

Hard earned.

01:46:37

Historical artifacts.

01:46:38

I am not putting up with this.

01:46:39

For a second longer.

01:46:41

I knew she looked familiar.

01:46:43

Does anyone have the key.

01:46:45

To the lock.

01:46:45

Or to the case.

01:46:46

The one I saw in the parking lot earlier.

01:46:47

Yeah.

01:46:48

I saw her upstairs.

01:46:49

That's the one I saw upstairs.

01:46:52

The one you slept with?

01:46:54

She's so into me.

01:46:55

It's probably because of the onions.

01:46:58

That's what I said.

01:47:02

Does anyone have the key?

01:47:06

To what?

01:47:07

What does?

01:47:08

Oh.

01:47:09

Oh.

01:47:10

Oh boy.

01:47:11

Oh.

01:47:11

Oof.

01:47:13

He's not going to come down anytime soon.

01:47:15

Yeah.

01:47:16

And a couple other things aren't coming down either.

01:47:18

I don't think he's going to come down.

01:47:24

Especially if he finds out his guests are being held up by gunpoint.

01:47:28

And his house is about to be blown up.

01:47:30

I wouldn't come downstairs either.

01:47:31

I'd just stay in bed.

01:47:32

I don't know.

01:47:32

Well.

01:47:36

I see.

01:47:39

Should we go up and get him, Juggles?

01:47:41

We'll go up and get what?

01:47:44

You guys.

01:47:44

You guys.

01:47:45

You guys handle this thing out.

01:47:47

And we'll go out and get what?

01:47:48

Juggles.

01:47:49

We're getting out of here.

01:47:50

We're going to go and get what?

01:47:51

No.

01:47:51

We're going to go out the door.

01:47:52

Wait.

01:47:54

All of this is coming from my crotch.

01:47:56

And as you said, we're going to go get what?

01:48:02

Two of the four guards that are in the room.

01:48:05

Kind of go and point their swords at you.

01:48:09

By the way, Amoria says.

01:48:11

Definitely some of these guards are my own.

01:48:13

At least those two are.

01:48:15

So if you're going to go anywhere, they're going to make sure that you follow you and don't have any sort of funny business.

01:48:23

Yeah, right.

01:48:24

I.

01:48:26

All right.

01:48:28

Let's just get all.

01:48:30

Let's just be real here.

01:48:33

Let's all start being honest.

01:48:34

Let's let down our guard a little bit.

01:48:36

Let's start.

01:48:37

I think we got started off on the wrong foot.

01:48:39

And we need to get a dialogue.

01:48:41

I jump off.

01:48:44

I jump off of the captain's shoulders and say, all right.

01:48:47

We were two people the whole time.

01:48:52

Are you still wearing the extra long coat?

01:48:54

Yes.

01:48:55

You look like a toddler in his dad's clothing.

01:48:58

Exactly.

01:48:59

Yeah.

01:49:00

This whole time, I just felt terrible about it.

01:49:03

But, you know, sometimes things aren't what they appear.

01:49:07

And Juckles is trying to wink.

01:49:15

At who?

01:49:19

The crown.

01:49:20

But aren't you still wearing the eye patch?

01:49:22

Oh, right.

01:49:23

So I'm looking the wrong eye.

01:49:24

I'm like.

01:49:24

But sometimes things are not as what they appear.

01:49:31

Just keep that in mind.

01:49:34

Might want to.

01:49:36

Right.

01:49:36

Like, I convinced you that I was a high flute member of society.

01:49:41

When in truth, I am part of the truth seekers society.

01:49:46

Bastards.

01:49:47

We don't like them, right?

01:49:48

You know, they're Indiana Jones-esque.

01:49:51

Yeah, they're a bunch of nerds.

01:49:53

It belongs in a museum.

01:49:54

Can I get up to the box?

01:49:56

I claim I can open it.

01:49:58

You claim a lot of things.

01:50:00

Yeah.

01:50:02

Juckles, you can unlock it.

01:50:04

You've already done it.

01:50:05

Shh.

01:50:05

I, well, I mean, I whisper that to you.

01:50:09

Across the room?

01:50:11

Yes.

01:50:12

You're going to get a lot of talkies going to make this a little bit more plausible.

01:50:18

Yes.

01:50:20

So, is that, is that what Lady, I'm sorry, Trittoria?

01:50:24

Amoria?

01:50:25

No, the other one.

01:50:27

The one that starts with a T.

01:50:27

Teslan?

01:50:29

Teslan.

01:50:30

Is she waiting for someone to open the box?

01:50:33

Yeah.

01:50:36

I mean, she just bought it.

01:50:37

It hasn't left the vicinity yet.

01:50:39

Once she bought it, you know, there was a little bit of hoopla.

01:50:43

And then that's when Lady Amoria started her threats.

01:50:47

Now I have a solution for everyone.

01:50:50

I think everyone's going to love this.

01:50:52

I can probably open the box.

01:50:56

Let's just say I've been around a couple of blocks.

01:50:58

And then, how about we settle this with an old-fashioned Jello fight?

01:51:03

Jello wrestling match.

01:51:04

What do you say?

01:51:05

Lady Amoria?

01:51:06

Lady Amoria?

01:51:08

Come on.

01:51:09

Come on.

01:51:10

You look scrappy.

01:51:11

And Lady Trittoria?

01:51:14

Tristan?

01:51:15

Tristan?

01:51:17

You look also athletic.

01:51:20

Lady Teslan blushes, but she does not want to get rid of the piece she just spent $70,000 for.

01:51:33

All right.

01:51:34

Well, I'm going to open it anyway.

01:51:35

And, yeah, you guys will figure it out.

01:51:37

Whether it's Jello wrestling, mud wrestling, arm wrestling, I'm sure you will find a wrestling that fits you.

01:51:45

And, uh, can I try to open it in front of everyone?

01:51:48

Sure.

01:51:49

Can you get a bonus die for, uh, having already done it?

01:51:57

Yeah, I mean, you already opened one like this, so yeah, you can definitely do two.

01:52:02

He opened that one.

01:52:03

Oh, yeah.

01:52:06

It's still open.

01:52:06

Or, well, yeah, you already did it once.

01:52:08

So, yeah, you can get a bonus die.

01:52:10

All right.

01:52:11

You failed this one.

01:52:13

Oh, shit.

01:52:16

Creek.

01:52:25

Uh, you open up the, uh, the, uh, the, the case with no issues.

01:52:31

But Madam Teslan kind of, like, stares at you and just kind of gives you a mean look.

01:52:36

And any hope you had, uh, going to any of the brothels in the city is now completely gone.

01:52:41

Oh.

01:52:43

No.

01:52:47

Chuckle's never getting laid again.

01:52:49

Oh.

01:52:50

It's just going to be me and Uncle Frank.

01:52:54

What was that guy's name again?

01:52:55

Your hand?

01:52:57

No.

01:52:58

What was that guy's name?

01:53:00

The guy that gives you the cat food?

01:53:02

Yeah.

01:53:02

Uncle.

01:53:03

I don't know.

01:53:06

Maybe I just call him Uncle.

01:53:07

Uncle Frankfingers?

01:53:08

No, that's his first name.

01:53:09

It's Uncle.

01:53:10

Okay.

01:53:10

Uncle Fatfingers?

01:53:11

Is that what you said?

01:53:12

Uncle Frankfingers.

01:53:13

Uncle Fruncle.

01:53:16

You, uh, you open the glass case and you take it out the fake.

01:53:22

What do you do with it?

01:53:23

Um, I hold it up over my head like Zelda.

01:53:29

Or Link, I guess.

01:53:31

Ta-da-da!

01:53:32

Yeah.

01:53:33

This is the lion.

01:53:36

Under, uh, Squish's cat.

01:53:40

Yes.

01:53:41

And?

01:53:41

Uh, Squish, underneath your hat you go, hey, wait, that's not me.

01:53:46

Shh.

01:53:48

Shh.

01:53:49

And I just pat my head.

01:53:51

Is there a name for the lion, just besides the lion?

01:53:54

We're all calling it the lion.

01:53:55

Uh, Aruvian lion.

01:53:57

It's just called an Aruvian lion.

01:53:58

Oh, okay.

01:53:59

Oh, but he doesn't go by a certain name?

01:54:01

Uh, no.

01:54:02

I'm calling him Ruby.

01:54:04

All right.

01:54:05

Ruby?

01:54:05

Ruby's groovy.

01:54:07

And I add it to the person with the gun.

01:54:11

Lady Amoria?

01:54:13

I mean...

01:54:15

She takes it.

01:54:15

She looks it over.

01:54:17

And, uh, slips it into her, to her handbag very, very carefully.

01:54:22

And she, uh, you know, shuts the clasp.

01:54:25

And then she has the, uh, the gun pointed still at you guys.

01:54:28

And she makes her way over around the edge of the room, pointing her gun at people as they walk past, you know, as she walks past them.

01:54:34

Uh, her two guards, who are actually, you know, uh, truth seekers in disguise, uh, follow her as they head out the door.

01:54:42

Hmm.

01:54:45

Is everyone just sitting here watching?

01:54:47

We're all, yeah, we're just looking at each other.

01:54:50

And I am at least a little, I mean, I'm, yes, I am a little buzzed from just sitting on the captain's head.

01:54:59

Uh, not in character.

01:55:03

I'm pretty sure we did not do this right.

01:55:05

But in character, I am very confused as to whether or not we did this right.

01:55:10

Yeah.

01:55:10

Uh, maybe?

01:55:14

She protects away.

01:55:16

I follow Amoria.

01:55:18

I mean, isn't the point of the game to kind of do it in unique ways and not the wrong way?

01:55:26

Well, we, uh, everyone's kind of following Lady Amoria guards and everything as they back out the door.

01:55:31

But, uh, as they open the door, uh, to the front of the manor, there is turned swallow.

01:55:37

And he points at the lion that Lady Amoria has.

01:55:41

Uh, she's not had in her purse.

01:55:42

She's been holding it.

01:55:43

She goes, it's a fake.

01:55:45

All right.

01:55:46

Well, while that's happening, we, I, Squish runs out the back, the servant's entrance.

01:55:54

All right, Squish is gone beyond the servant's entrance.

01:55:57

Captain?

01:55:58

And I look around and I'm like, where'd Squish go?

01:56:00

Uh, I don't.

01:56:03

And then I run in the same direction as Squish.

01:56:06

Are we all running?

01:56:10

So as the three of you run out, um, Lady Amoria, uh, ignores, uh, the, the, uh, turned swallow,

01:56:19

who's now just kind of passed out back in the yard.

01:56:21

Um, as you guys run down the street, you see the rest of the party guests streaming out

01:56:25

of the house yelling, uh, screaming, uh, they're trying to get the attention of the coppers.

01:56:31

And you guys make it just to the end of the street when there's a giant explosion and the

01:56:36

house goes off in smoke.

01:56:37

Oh shit.

01:56:38

She was serious.

01:56:39

No.

01:56:41

Whoa.

01:56:43

Good thing I got this bag of hair.

01:56:47

Hopefully nobody heard about how I am dead to the strippers or the brothels now.

01:56:53

Well, we don't know who got out.

01:56:57

This was quite the adventure for the Nuthunter Brigade.

01:57:00

The Nuthunter Brigade.

01:57:02

The Nuthunter Brigade.

01:57:08

Well, you guys got out of there.

01:57:11

That's true.

01:57:13

We're not entirely sure we were successful and I am not looking forward to meeting Baz again,

01:57:17

but, uh, we gotta take the, no, we gotta take the lion back to the, uh, back to, back to

01:57:23

the home base and ask it questions.

01:57:24

Yes.

01:57:25

We are gonna interrogate the piss out of this thing.

01:57:33

Well, that's a good stopping point for tonight, I think.

01:57:36

Unless anybody else has anything they'd like to add.

01:57:42

Did everyone die in that party or just most of them?

01:57:45

Not us.

01:57:46

Most of the, most of the party goers did escape, uh, as soon as.

01:57:52

Watt probably died.

01:57:53

Lady turned swallow locked, yeah.

01:57:56

Watt was in the most fragile part of the house.

01:57:59

His balls.

01:58:01

His balls.

01:58:02

Definitely not in the ballroom.

01:58:04

No.

01:58:04

Different ballroom.

01:58:05

Let's see if Watt survived.

01:58:06

We're just gonna do, uh.

01:58:08

Watt's gonna come back for revenge.

01:58:09

So is Aladdin.

01:58:11

Watt survived.

01:58:13

Oh my god!

01:58:14

Oh no.

01:58:15

Oh no.

01:58:17

We don't know how, but he's coming back.

01:58:19

This is gonna be a face he doesn't forget.

01:58:20

Yeah, no, yeah.

01:58:22

He's gonna come, he's coming for your nuts.

01:58:24

Nut revenge.

01:58:32

We'll see you next time.

Poor Wott's Balls