Saltwater Chili Eyes
Season 3, Episode 5I, I, I noticed that, but I, I wasn't going to say anything cause I'm not that big of a dick.
Maybe the thing is, I wanted him to stay a cabin boy and then he became a butler of his own free will.
Uh, there's still some crew locked up and there's a monkey running around on the top ship in the middle ship.
However, I think you said that was part of your character personality or earlier that you would run away.
I'm hiding behind this, this, this bed here while also compelling my ghost to like, you know, cause a ruckus.
I do have one question, uh, that came up earlier that we never really, this is in character that
Or do you just tell him to go up there and start blowing cannons and then hope they go up there?
The entrance to get up and down the ship, if you look, there's like this square little trap door.
So it goes up and then the midship, you know, you can go up one more and then that's the top deck.
So your plan is you're going to hide behind the hammocks and then Captain Clyde is going to use his compelling ability to make a ghost go up to the top deck and start light a cannon.
The cannon backfired and by backfire, I mean it fell back onto the boat and definitely, uh, plunged a small hole into the boat.
One of them definitely sees you, but at this moment, this ship has just been completely rocked.
You know, we knew we were gonna have to have some kind of uniform because we were bluffing our way on.
I feel like in the flashback, we went to like a thrift store, like near the port where we knew there were gonna be a lot of uniforms.
I think the, if you click on the actions and click wreck, it should take into account all of your proficiencies.
You, uh, you, you swing and try to hit him, but Lieutenant Lightfell is a strapping man and he's been in his fair, uh, fights.
Uh, so he dodges your blow and in returns pops you one right in the chin and you're gonna take a level one harm bruised chin slash ego.
Um, just while you were, uh, doing that, Brandon, uh, just, or not Brandon, everyone, uh, the boat did sink a little bit more.
So you start punching on him and you're beating him and you're kind of hitting him and it's definitely slowing him down.
So you definitely heard him and he's definitely slowed down and winded, but he goes and like Hulk, like,
Um, I think that'd be kind of like hunt, you know, cause you're kind of using your, uh, your skills as a trained marksman or whatever you are since you're a scout.
But I imagine it bounces off like the middle of your forehead and your eyes go cross and you fall down.
You chuck it at him and it just like, it, it just misses him and he stops and just right between the eyes.
He's like, when somebody stabs a sword at Superman, it just like bends against his stomach.
And give yourself plus one because he's, give yourself plus one because he's, he will not see this coming.
Uh, as you guys are staring, uh, at his, his dead body somewhere off in the distance, you hear the ringing of bells.
The bells are ringing because every time somebody dies in, uh, Doscovel, they have to come and, uh, claim his body before he becomes a ghost.
And there are, uh, certain magical, uh, elements that notify the proper authorities and the bells are a reminder that that's what the bells are.
Squish strips him, uh, mindful of the bloody mess that is now his, uh, head, uh, and, uh, takes his uniform.
And she takes the cargo in one hand over her shoulder, rips open the ladder, and starts climbing the ladder one hand in.
Uh, I'll get all your pieces set up, 'cause there's a shit ton of people up here right now, so...
it says the area on the outer surface of a ship's hole where the bottom curves to meet the vertical
are you so all you had to get was the caviar okay uh if you want to take more you are more than
uh are you are neither of you are like or any of you i guess are like particularly giant people
all right you guys are in the the four of the ship um and this time because you know you're
paying a little bit more attention you can see that there are uh three other people locked away in
yep they're in uh rooms they can uh they can see you and they they see the captain ernst in
captain dawn finally we tried yelling to these guys but they definitely didn't hear us or maybe we
uh never mind pee way he's our he's our new cabin boy after the well after the accident you know
it's sleepy it's schmear schmear schmear he was a good man didn't know how to load a cannon though
good ghost though takes orders well well he was a good man he took orders too he just was dumb
five six well there's six of us and uh she looks into the middle section of the ship where you guys can
just kind of see uh through the down the steps there the four guards from below are now up there
so there's eight guards uh four of them are desperately trying to keep water out of the ship
and four of them have dd cornered in the back of the ship uh you know swords pointed in his direction
uh and he is just wild and crazy eyed and dawn goes oh my poor dd can't believe they treat him like this
you're supposed to be getting him to stop smoking boys who gave him one what why was that you squish a box of
cigarettes or cigars listen he can have his vices but he needs to know when and where is appropriate
to smoke you can't be smoking on the ship all the time it's made of wood wood with explosive material on
it i didn't exactly he needs to know when and where all right well can i grab the the box uh or the the humidor
i start waving my hands around frantically in the air and then like i hold up the box and i open it
to show the cigars inside to dd hopefully i get dd's attention i feel like that's that scene from uh
that one show or that one movie where uh uh what's his face is holding up the stereo oh john
john cusack yeah it's like a song 16 candles holding up yeah well is it that's not 16 candles is it no
it's one of those 16 candles but i've never seen 16 at any rate the point is there it's yeah dd sees
you and he sees the cigars but uh as he tries to kind of push forward the four guards holding him kind of
push him back towards the uh back of the ship um they don't see you yet i'm gonna go run over and try to
save dd all right how would you like to save dd um i'm gonna do a flashback okay do when i was in the
kitchen bake preparing a meal earlier i grabbed it was like a sachet of chili powder why and
well can i finish all right and i would like to open it up and throw it in the air over the guards
for this reason because it's tasty and you can use it as a distraction have you ever got chili powder in
your eyes uh no but also squish has it is painful so he just carries around chili powder and then
throws it up into the air what is that gonna blow into his face this is a flashback yeah it's like
it just imagine he pocketed some chili powder yeah he took he took a sachet of chili powder listen
tiger you've never obviously never stolen anything before it's not really but there's no sense to it
well i'm i'm just a little confused on that character it's not character do you know the flashback is when i'm
cooking i'm just i just see i'm looking at the shelf of spices i'm looking at onion powder garlic powder
tarragon dill chili powder huh that hurts when it gets in your eyes so i take it i put it in my pocket
all right this will make a good distraction and you've thrown it in the air at them threw it in the air
all over them and go oh my god there's another hole and i point up so they all look up all right uh
let's see what your finesse is like so you don't get your own eyes burned out that's true risky standard
oh that is that is in my eyes too uh you turn and the uh the guards manage to avoid the chili powder
uh all right i'll i'll agree with you one of them gets chili powder straight up in the eyes he's down
he's crying uh he's trying to rub his eyes out the rest of them notice what's happening and back up pretty
quickly um and uh you definitely get some in your eyes too so boys boys i need help i got a level one
uh uh uh burned eyes i guess what about his ego all right well i don't take level one so another oh
that's right yeah so you just take a stress okay i'm also wriggling around on the floor cigars strewn about me
um i think i would still be hanging back because you know i'm kind of small so i'm not rushing into
stuff um i am i rotating oh that's me i'm so sorry you've been rotating you've been rotating
everything i know it's because i'm trying to like zoom in and if i don't press the right thing it just
i think uh i it did make sense that i was rotating because i'm rolling around on the ground because i
all of your all the players will just keep rotating themselves this is a problem for us in the past
uh don't uh captain so chuckles you're saying back captain uh yeah but i but i was gonna say that
people in a damn yeah there's a there's a lot being held up on top of the ships by like netting
uh held back uh he's he's alive and he makes a run for the cigars that's that squish dropped
yeah but squish but squish is covered in the cigars so now he's being molested by this monkey
uh as you guys uh watch the uh frenetic frenzy in front of you you realize the uh the water is
should be on the boat what is dawn doing this whole time and where are my other we're peewee
a plea command all right there's sway is that different than there's sway which is like you
can convince them like being like kind of like convincing yeah i'll try to sway p-way or ernst or
but the cat yeah the captain they're ernst and the uh the rest of the boys aren't going to come
he's he's he's a gas uh there are two down below uh there is one that was banging on the uh
no i think you guys have a special ability where you can already see the ghosts you don't have to
all right and then it's regular command okay and roll well yeah you did a tune last time too
uh he uh he ignores you and uh in the meantime the guards that were now have now lost all interest
in squish and they are rounding up on the rest of you you mean they've ignored the writhing in pain
and cigars squish they're they don't think he's a threat anymore ignoring them they're they're not the uh
uh the five that are left have seen the five of you and they know what to do they're about to charge
like fell yeah oh what he's dead oh yeah i got his uniform no that's no that's uh oh that is captain dawn
are you just simple truckers of the sea aside from what rosell chef roselle told us about oh yeah
beard uh yes she loves you captain dawn said uh looks at her crew and she looks at you too and
she goes boys this is our ship we can't just let them take it and uh she says this is uh this is dawn's
hammer and this and she pulls out a large hammer from her side it's my hammer and she charges in
no you're on the second level there's no mast what does that mean this this mid-level doesn't have a
mass the mass is on the top that's a big hole where the sails are oh so we're still in okay so we're
inside you're still inside the ship ah okay i just saw this all right so um she uh don't climb the
dawn and the rest of her crew are gonna engage these uh these guards in combat and keep them
distracted for a while while you three figure out your next maneuver okay so squish would like to now
that the water is you said it was shin deep yep oh that's right so you're wet yeah i'm gonna wash off
i stand up because i'm wearing lieutenant light fell's uniform and go as lieutenant light fell i demand
i mean i think they're gonna i mean i don't know if one uniform is gonna sway them that he's lieutenant
plus one yeah you can get plus one for the uniform but it is a very desperate risky maneuver
it works uh a few two of let's just say three of them uh start attacking poor little p way uh
the uh the rest of the gang kind of go to defend him instead um there's still two guards though that
oh that's right dd can fuck shit up yeah dd and probably has a poor relationship with captain light fell
doesn't attack the guard doesn't attack squish either uh dd's too busy focusing on the cigars to do
because i am having i'm having a fucking uh like a a cock block of magic right now this has not been
all right that's the way you want it then uh that's the way you'll get it and i will engage in combat
throw a rutabaga at his junk yeah i'm just gonna try i'm just gonna try to tackle his legs i mean
different role i guess it'd be more that'd be more like finesse uh if you want to like actually
fight clean okay no this is definitely more of a skirmish you don't want to follow the marcus of
doomsbury rules yes i i know why you know that uh from uh let me guess from uh from uh mike tyson yeah
yeah but did you know marcus or yeah he's the guy the guy who was on the team but is technically
the guy who invented that yeah boxing yeah yeah all right that's kind of boxing bare knuckle yeah
well mine is just as bad so you have you have none on skirmish and skirmish no okay i also have
none in skirmish so it would have been the same anyway okay thanks uh so you take the what you didn't
roll very well did you hold on no uh yeah no uh pretty spectacularly actually you go to you go to uh
lunge for him uh and he kicks you really really hard your bruised ribs are now cracked ribs oh that's
clinical okay does that mean it's second level now yeah i would just make it second up can i throw a
lightning hook on the guy who just kicked squish or not squish uh uh chuckles yeah isn't lightning rods for
ghost i mean it's still electric and it's still electric and it's still have a hook on it and
you should have two for finesse should i or wait is it only one as i only have one dot for finesse
oh okay uh you manage to to grab him but in doing so you give everyone a mild electric shock uh
just enough to kind of wake you up wakey wakey it really pushes that chili powder out of your
out of your eyes yeah yeah squish you were just you were running on uh salt water chilly eyes and now
man she really loves peeway it's only she showed the same affection except what did she love dd as
much as peeway it's she got him cigars for his birthday it's almost like peeway is dawn's son
ah okay uh so we got what four guards left four guards waters halfway up the ship or half it's up to
your knees all right i'm gonna throw a chef's knife out of my roll it's in my i'm gonna say it's in my load
okay uh i'm just imagining you uh there in the course of this game turning into like uh like a
chef-based assassin like it's been the whole time i know but it's like yeah it's definitely more
impaired more a chef's assassin yeah it's like like any of those old james bond films where the
guy's just chopping away and all of a sudden he pulls a blender out of his back pocket and he's
kind of blending people up but it's more like the uh the scene in kill bill where he gets mad
hattori hanzo gets mad just throws the knife in the wall and it goes onto the metal the magnet
these guys are down uh they're not necessarily out oh okay um but they're not getting back up
uh for any time soon so uh there are three guards left there's one with captain and chuckles there's
still one kind of in the uh near squish uh there's one dawn p way turn turn it and ernst take him on
they're keeping this other guy engaged but they are definitely taking a little bit of damage
captain we need to tag team this guy get out of your ghost world the ghosts aren't going to help
all right two rapiers no we're going fucking slapstick on this can't fuck that i'm doing it
you do it you push the guard over uh he goes toppling behind you uh he breaks his leg and the two of
yeah well you're in the mid ship but if you want to go in like the center area yeah all right
yellow why did you not come when i was calling for you i needed help i did help you remember i
what mass well whatever it is that i unhooked that fell earlier all the ropes storage you and the
it didn't well okay but i tried i tried why are you covered in chili powder it's a long story
uh squishy uh dd has gathered up all of his cigars and he kind of comes walking over with his little
chimp feet and he starts handing them out to you guys oh my god are we celebrating this is amazing
oh but this is so sweet are we celebrating these these these wet wet cigars dd are you pregnant
uh there's still one uh one guard uh left between the the four of you and then one that uh tarnest ernst
he's got dd he's gonna try to summon another ghost every time we turn around he's trying to
summon another ghost he's not doing a very good job today he's got to learn his lesson the ghost
i'm having some kind of midlife crisis i think that's what the point of my character is going
peewee goes down peewee's injured and you just uh you hear don go no peewee and this is finally
dd goes absolutely apeshit he grabs the guard nearest to him uh drags him down into the salt water and just
starts thrashing him into the ground monkey style like a coconut just bashing his head in oh my god it's
and he runs and he grabs the final guard next to you next to uh peewee and destroys him as well with a
quick just jab uh with his mighty chimp teeth uh and is now the right all of you are just watching this
i don't think i do that thing's gonna kill us in our sleep we are not gonna be able to wrangle that thing
uh i don't think it's a good idea i think he is a wild card and we already have a wild card
we can't have two wild cards it's too many wild cards it's so fun though all right let's grab the case
sopping wet carrying a bag of caviar and followed closely behind you is a giant woman uh two
but he has a six and a two because he has nothing in sway so do we go with the two or do since he
uh dawn one of them's gonna go for the captain and one of them because squish you are fairly
um i'm on top of the ship right can i use okay so can i use this thing called tempest that i have
i guess what do you what does it do it says i can push myself to do one of the following unleash
a stroke of lightning as a weapon uh summon a storm in your immediate vicinity like torrential rain
roaring winds heavy fog chilling frost snow etc okay so you're gonna basically summon a bunch of
lightning and and uh strike everyone or strike your enemies yeah strike my with the one guy coming at me
okay yeah so uh go ahead and roll wreck and then because you push yourself you get one extra die
when you push yourself you take one stress but then you get a bonus die okay so this one it's just
roll rack and then plus one die yeah so you should roll two all right i'll add this stress to your sheet
lightning or covered in water you do shock yourself as well uh but not chuckles miraculously
the guard closest to dawn um i'm just gonna have everyone beat up on him uh dawn ernst and then turnt
partial um but he's definitely weakened and uh is not gonna follow you if you guys decide to abandon ship
like take him as he's rushing me and then surreptitiously grab this knife and i'm gonna just
okay so like a finesse so you're kind of like whipping it out and like shoot you know i'm not
gonna throw it cutting him right as you know but like right as he's coming at you you know it
uh sure you can do that um before you do um dawn comes rushing back up the uh the stairs and in
her arms she has p way she's carrying him kind of you know bridal style p way's not looking great
but he's not dead and she goes hey you were good to me p way she kind of shakes him a little bit
uh his footing uh he you did pretty you've cut him with a knife though so he's pretty weakened
risky yeah uh yeah oh sorry no yeah you're right uh you hit him he goes down uh and somewhere in
uh captain uh captain clive what are you doing i just got electrocuted so um i'm not really sure what
oh it's for serious uh yeah i don't know what i'm doing um what's the situation around me what i'm
else what am i looking at uh so you're down to one guard who's trying to beat up on chuckles
uh squish just killed a man the other the two other guards are not guards the other sailors besides p way
are just uh just kind of mulling about dawn's carrying p way uh and uh dd hasn't done anything
i'm gonna sell on a ghost i gotta keep i gotta keep trying why did you even ask what was going on you
his captain's gonna roll good bad good bad i'm imagining that he's going like like this with his
fingers and just smoke and like nothing is coming out just like that's exactly how it feels and i
just coming out of his coming out i swear this has never happened before it's just yeah i've been
under a lot of stress lately right you know it's been such a long time yeah it's worth a lighter
food completely limp fingers completely limp fingers that's kind of yeah you know it works because i go
uh okay i need to fix that what is wrong with that i need to like maybe next time i xp up i gotta
fix that because that's not what is what do you have to roll for some for somebody in ghosts
man so if he wants to just a tune yeah to command them because you can already see them so his
attune is pretty good um but yeah it's commanding them so command and attune is what you'll need
yeah but at this point i got yeah well if we ever get out of this we're gonna work on you we're gonna
work on training your command thank you i appreciate me and you we'll go we'll just go to the gym
and just do commands you and me you and him yeah because i gotta tell you this is real sad i got i
sprawled out kind of like with my arms like like wet and just like really like pathetic just get a tonic
like oh i'm having such a rough time chuckle cut uh dd kind of wanders over to you and just kind of
pats you on the head oh thanks that's that's great but my bruised ribs are now cracked ribs and i'm
um are you trying to tell dd to do something no i am not talking to that monkey i gonna try
there can be only one small hairy person in this in this crew and that's squish and that's squish
squish isn't small though right no it's ironic i see squish uh my stab is unsuccessful yet again
i go ahead and take uh level two uh i don't know stung cheek actually you know just take an extra stress
he's just gonna he's just gonna pull the fly pin out of his ass oh that's it yeah he pulls out a
go ahead and throw your hunt give yourself an extra extra bonus for throwing all of what you got at him
that is that is not how rutabagas work what is a rutabaga by the way it's a root vegetable oh
and the last bell kind of tolls uh you guys look around at the general carnage around you the boat
is definitely listing to one side uh there are a couple of dead guards on the ground if one that jumped off one
try to repair before she goes down completely oh good you got it all taken care of all right
as you guys start to leave dd follows you for a second and looks at you longingly from the uh from
turns out the monkey's got a fucking gambling problem too that we didn't know about but that's for future
it turns out the the fucking what turn what if the monkey's got like it in with loan sharks
after much uh bickering you make your way to the golden plum and chef rosell is still there in the back and
you didn't believe in us a little little confidence you have in us not only did we come back with the caviar we got an ape
well not yet but with your guys's help with your fine help uh we'll be able to soon uh thank you guys so much and she goes to kind of take the box from you
well i suppose i owe you something uh she opens up the crate she manages to get a big crowbar and just
take as many you know what take as many drapes as you like they're thick and velvet and red and luxurious
don't remind me are are we splitting the drapes three ways or are we splitting it four ways
kind of like a cat or dog just kind of puts himself with the drapes and then just kind of like