- Crew of the Kahuna

00:00:00

I'm not. Roll the d10, Tiger.

00:00:26

Oh.

00:00:27

He did tell you that a couple times.

00:00:29

Yeah, you.

00:00:30

No, you told me once.

00:00:32

Yeah, he pointed at you in the audience.

00:00:34

Thank you for doing that.

00:00:39

Idiot.

00:00:41

Got him.

00:00:44

Get him again.

00:00:46

I'm not sure why.

00:00:47

All right.

00:00:50

So you go up eight hit points.

00:00:53

So you are now at 25.

00:00:54

All right.

00:00:58

So plus I'm going up eight.

00:01:01

Yeah.

00:01:02

It's whatever you roll.

00:01:03

Plus two.

00:01:04

All right.

00:01:06

Plus eight equals 25.

00:01:11

And you changed it in my statute already on.

00:01:13

Yeah.

00:01:13

Yes, I did.

00:01:14

Cool.

00:01:15

Where do we end last game?

00:01:20

I don't really remember.

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I'll show you in a second.

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So but I remember we played that game.

00:01:26

So but I remember we played that game.

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And then the game.

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See here.

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I got a ton of stuff.

00:01:34

Oh, right.

00:01:37

I didn't get anything.

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I think you guys mostly just played that game.

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Was that a game?

00:01:42

Yeah, that's all you did was play the game.

00:01:44

No, it's not anything.

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I didn't get a chance to sell anything.

00:01:48

No, you don't.

00:01:50

But what?

00:01:52

What?

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You just want to say I'm dumb.

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I didn't even get to.

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No.

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All right.

00:01:57

Boo.

00:01:58

Roll one D six.

00:01:59

Oh, I got a bow.

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You didn't.

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Well, someone got a bow.

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Whether or not they gave it to you.

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I don't remember.

00:02:12

Slash is on the wrong side.

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Boo.

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Sorry.

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Slash hour.

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Yeah, it's not a Reddit.

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Yeah, mama.

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All right.

00:02:22

So.

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Google's up six.

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Six hit points.

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Yeah.

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So now you are at 20.

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And I also gave you guys full health.

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For leveling up.

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Okay.

00:02:43

Hey, hey, hey.

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Oh, plus eight.

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Do I get it?

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Oh, I guess I don't get anything else.

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I'm going to three.

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Improved critical.

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Call your weapon attack.

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Score a critical hit on a roll of 19 or 20.

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Yes.

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That's you.

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Get that.

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Boo.

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You cannot prepare and cast second level spells.

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I don't know what that means, but.

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Well, I would.

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Sounds like there's level one and level two spells.

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Yeah.

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I think there's up to level three.

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Well, there's.

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Yeah, there's three levels of the spell.

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Okay.

00:03:28

So it just basically means my spells will be more powerful, right?

00:03:31

Well, you get four first level spells.

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Well, you get four first level spells and two second spells.

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I don't have a list on my sheet of exactly.

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Like, all I have is the spells that are kind of like at the bottom of the spell book on my page.

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Yeah.

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Is that like that's just those are the first level spells.

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I don't see anything about my second level spells on this.

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That's what I was just about to look up.

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What was this?

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I see.

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Ivaco.

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Okay.

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I don't understand this.

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Sorry.

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Give me a second.

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Okay.

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Thank you.

00:04:39

What is it, Andy, what is it called? Is it improved critical or like accent church? Is that like a skill or a...

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Yours when it says improved critical?

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Yeah.

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No, I think it's just, I think that's like a passive skill.

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Well, what, because I'm trying to find it in Foundry and I don't really know what to call it. It's obviously not a spell.

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I don't think it's an item.

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Skill?

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No, there's no skill on here.

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Because I thought I put action surge in there, but maybe I didn't.

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Oh, feature abilities.

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Abilities would be another one too.

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So did you figure out your spell thing, Boo?

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No, not really.

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No, I didn't either.

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Are we waiting on that?

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I was going to see if he had something in the book that would more talk about what the second level spells are.

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I'm only set up to do for like this page that I got only has like the first level spells on it, I think.

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Yeah, there's a whole list here of spell books.

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Is there like a, maybe a web page or is it in D&D Beyond or something?

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It should be in D&D Beyond.

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Let me.

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Magical.

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Oh, yeah.

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yeah for some reasons ability's not

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is not on here it's weird maybe I just don't have I don't have access to them

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all right well I better write it down

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all right

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Thank you.

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I don't really know.

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I don't know the site.

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I'm trying to look around.

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I don't know if my spells are the same as, say, as in D&D.

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But even then, I don't know what first level spell.

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Okay, I'll send you a text.

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Or in Discord.

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I don't know who's on his computer.

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It might be easier on Discord.

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Oh, okay.

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Yeah, I'll take a picture of it.

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And I'll post it in the Discord.

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Thank you.

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Features.

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Class table.

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Oh, I see.

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Okay, cool.

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So, I think the ones with...

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Yeah, you can pick two of those.

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And use them once?

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You can use...

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How is that?

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You can only use two.

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So, you can only prepare...

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What is it?

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Six spells.

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The second level?

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No.

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Total.

00:10:05

Total?

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Yeah.

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So, and then you can only use two of them at a second level.

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Okay.

00:10:11

So, the other four have to be first level.

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Do I have to prepare them now?

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Yeah, you have to tell me which ones that you're going to use.

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If you want to know more about them, I can find them to tell you.

00:10:30

Yeah.

00:10:31

Can you tell me about the Lesser Restoration and the Prayer of Healing?

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One of those two?

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I mean, it looks like all these are like...

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Besides the Spiritual Weapon...

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Clear.

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They're all...

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Lesser Restoration or the Prayer of Healing.

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I just want to get a healing spell.

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I don't think I have one.

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Where do you see...

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Second level spells?

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Yeah.

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Lesser Restoration.

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In that picture I sent you?

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Yeah.

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Oh, those are Cleric spells.

00:11:01

Oh.

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All right, because there's Cleric and there's Wizard spells.

00:11:05

Okay.

00:11:06

Oh, I wonder which one you are.

00:11:08

Yeah, I sent you the wrong list.

00:11:10

I apologize.

00:11:11

No, it's okay.

00:11:12

I want to get some out of the kitchen.

00:11:13

I'll be right back.

00:11:14

Okay.

00:11:15

Take your time.

00:11:16

We apparently have lots of it.

00:11:19

Sorry about that.

00:11:21

No, no.

00:11:22

I was trying to...

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It said there's some healing spells on there, so I was going to try to go for that.

00:11:29

Yeah, that makes sense, but yeah, you're not a Cleric.

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You're a Wizard.

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You're a Wizard, Harry.

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You're a Harry Wizard.

00:11:38

Or maybe...

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Because I don't know.

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It does say Jerry spells on there, so...

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What is...

00:11:50

Can you tell me what Flaming Sphere is and suggestions?

00:11:54

All right.

00:11:56

I don't know.

00:11:56

Suggestion of Flaming...

00:11:58

Flaming Sphere.

00:12:06

A five-foot diameter sphere of fire appears in an unoccupied space of your choice within range

00:12:13

and lasts for the duration, which is...

00:12:17

It doesn't say.

00:12:20

How much damage does it say?

00:12:22

Any creature that ends its turn within five feet of the sphere must make a dexterity save and throw.

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The creature takes two D6 fire damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one.

00:12:35

Okay.

00:12:36

All right.

00:12:38

And what was the other one?

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Suggestion.

00:12:41

Here's a suggestion.

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Get a haircut.

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I did.

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You suggest a course of activity limited to a sentence or two and magically influence a creature you choose within range that can hear and understand you.

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Creatures that can't be charmed are immune to this effect.

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The suggestion must be worded in such a manner as to make the course of action sound reasonable.

00:13:14

Asking the creature to stab itself, throw itself onto a sphere, and emulate itself for a due.

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Some other obviously harmful act automatically negates the spell.

00:13:25

Okay.

00:13:25

I'm going to do...

00:13:26

I'm going to put on prepare invisibility.

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I'm going to do...

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I don't know what I think.

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I think I want to do flaming sphere.

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Is spider climb what it's supposed to, what it says?

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Does that mean I can climb a wall?

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Do...

00:13:52

Until the spell ends, one willing creature you touch gains the ability to move up, down, and across vertical surfaces, and upside down along ceilings while leaving its hands free.

00:14:10

Oh, I'm going to try that.

00:14:12

The target also gains a climbing speed equal to its walking speed.

00:14:15

All right.

00:14:16

I'm putting on invisibility and spider climb.

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That's for my level two.

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And for my level ones.

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Um...

00:14:23

Um...

00:14:23

I'm going to...

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I'm going to...

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All right.

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I'm going to go grab a...

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Boy.

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Boy.

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Boy.

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what is burning what's burning hands again do we i know we looked at i think we looked at

00:14:56

it we looked up probably

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as you hold your hands with thumbs touching and fingers spread a thin sheet of flame shoots forth

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from your outstretched fingertips each creature in a 15 foot cone must make a dexterity saving throw

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all right so then i'm going to do that and okay so you're doing in okay so i'm doing invisibility

00:15:30

spider climb that's for my level those are for my level twos visibility and spider climb

00:15:37

all right

00:15:42

and all right first level um i was gonna do um shield magic missile uh burning hands

00:15:54

and let's just say

00:16:05

uh let's do sleep sleep okay yeah that seems handy all right so those are the six that you have

00:16:14

prepared yep remember if you use two invisibilities you're done on second level okay you're done now

00:16:23

yeah and then four on the first level

00:16:25

good okay uh

00:16:33

tiger do you have anything else for leveling up no i mine was really short just uh improved critical

00:16:43

yeah yeah i don't yeah i'm not sure last week i'm sure we don't have to worry about that no um

00:16:49

i don't i it says the number of experience points but

00:16:54

that doesn't really matter in the way we're playing right no okay

00:17:08

um

00:17:12

all right

00:17:16

you left off um so you walked into this room after talking to that cultist remember

00:17:36

um

00:17:37

i did you are you trying to show us the other room no i'm just asking no i don't really remember

00:17:47

leaving that place well the hallway right you were in the hallway talking to that one cultist

00:17:53

yeah and then didn't we like have to like fight them or something

00:17:59

you didn't do that yet i thought we

00:18:03

oh that's right i remember this room you didn't actually start doing it

00:18:08

you just walked in and we called it

00:18:13

it called it there i thought we talked to him though but i don't remember what we talked about

00:18:18

you were talking to one cultist

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outside he's the one that puked and the puke went underneath the door disappeared

00:18:26

okay

00:18:30

and then you entered the door

00:18:33

but we stopped there i believe

00:18:41

all right cool

00:18:42

all right let's go investigate some cultists i'm gonna do so five cultists bending over the railing

00:18:48

of a balcony that rings the room seriously vomiting they vomit with true conviction

00:18:53

and it's pulling in the middle of the floor as the foul pool begins to move you are stricken with the thought that maybe the cultist in the corridor was right

00:19:00

maybe all existence everything that is was and will be has just been a tremendous waste

00:19:06

wow so they're they're like they're like worshiping like the same type of blob that went under the door he threw up

00:19:18

or we don't know there yeah the blob is in the middle of the room the blob worshipers no that's the worst

00:19:23

yes it's not great no not great not great at all i mean how do you worship a blob i mean

00:19:33

i mean they're not really worshiping the blob they're creating the blob oh oh so it's getting bigger

00:19:39

they're vomiting and then it's pulling oh that's right oh it's a vama blob

00:19:46

sure oh my god it's disgusting yeah it's disgusting what are we what are we even doing in this place

00:19:53

i mean let's go and check this out all right cool i mean okay so what are you guys gonna do

00:20:04

uh i'm just gonna stand around the back and like get closer and see if i see anything okay uh i'm gonna i'm

00:20:15

gonna kind of move around the corner and kind of get a better view of the blob um to do that you have

00:20:21

to lean over the railing okay so i lean over the railing all right as soon as you lean over the railing

00:20:29

the cultists notice you they all turn and stare at you oh hey this is not where i parked my car

00:20:39

and roll for roll for roll for initiative oh piss on my tits

00:20:45

and i'm i'm in the middle of this too yeah they they as soon as they started looking at jerry they noticed

00:20:54

you all right um

00:20:57

right in the middle right in the middle okay so the first cultist which is closest to

00:21:12

tiger right unless if you guys want to move to where you were

00:21:20

i'm i'm not that far where i would would have been

00:21:23

we're looking as you said there's a railing are we looking down yeah so the the fire pit

00:21:29

like a middle is like yeah it's a pit and also the people around it are are lower than us

00:21:37

no they're just it's like they're standing on a balcony leaning over ah okay i kind of used the

00:21:44

same image i did before where they were there was like a circle right around you know it's a circular

00:21:49

room mm-hmm so it's just kind of like a pathway that they're standing on with the the green line on

00:21:54

the inside being the the raven over to the pit overlooking it yes all right well

00:22:05

so so we got to fight these guys over a blob yeah or what why are they mad at us what do we do we

00:22:12

just walked in what i didn't do it i didn't do anything i was going to worship the blob i was here for

00:22:18

blob worship i mean we every sunday it's blob worship you know blob mass we have to take blob communion

00:22:26

so this first one

00:22:31

takes a swing with it's scimitar oh fudge a scimitar oh come on come on guy at summer oh okay

00:22:43

not so bad though sounds bad to me

00:22:48

well duck

00:22:58

so 10 10 damage

00:23:03

does that hit no oh oh no no no no i have 14. okay okay

00:23:08

this cultist i can't see your dice i don't know if you've done that yeah okay i'm doing it up

00:23:21

uh this cultist moves over closer

00:23:25

and that's it

00:23:28

okay

00:23:35

okay

00:23:45

are these three

00:23:46

are these three so you're are you rolling for a fourth one

00:23:50

i am rolling for the third one okay

00:23:55

and they're gonna move

00:23:58

and now it's tiger's turn

00:24:01

but you uh

00:24:04

yeah i'll i'll roll against the uh

00:24:10

the one right here then

00:24:11

okay

00:24:12

okay the one that's closest uh using my

00:24:15

uh sword

00:24:17

um

00:24:18

one-handed two-handed

00:24:20

is there a disadvantage for doing a two-handed

00:24:26

i don't think so

00:24:29

no

00:24:30

all right

00:24:32

um then two-handed i guess

00:24:35

okay

00:24:35

so d20

00:24:38

okay

00:24:40

all right that's not gonna be enough

00:24:50

oh and it's because it's

00:24:53

plus

00:24:53

four

00:24:55

so

00:24:58

four is

00:24:58

where does that that comes from the sword right yeah so plus

00:25:02

four yeah

00:25:03

yeah so 11

00:25:04

all right you do miss okay

00:25:08

so it is now this cultist turn

00:25:13

and it is incapacitated so it will not move

00:25:24

this one who is what was his name

00:25:29

bjorky bach

00:25:30

who we were talking to outside

00:25:32

that bastard

00:25:34

well

00:25:36

shouldn't mess with this cult man

00:25:39

i didn't mess with this cult i was interested i was looking for a pamphlet

00:25:43

he was trying to vomit

00:25:45

i'm gonna

00:25:47

do anything either so boot is your turn

00:25:50

fudge

00:25:54

i am uh

00:25:56

i'm gonna put on a uh oh shoot

00:26:01

what should i do

00:26:01

i'm gonna do ray ray of frost i'm the nearest one

00:26:09

i don't know

00:26:13

let's call that bjorkavak

00:26:14

yeah

00:26:16

what about this one what about this one right here

00:26:20

is that too far or is this one should i go this one

00:26:22

it's about the same

00:26:23

i'll do that i'll do that one over the railing

00:26:25

he's gonna get frost he's gonna get frosted

00:26:28

okay

00:26:29

let me find that one again sorry

00:26:34

no take your time we're gonna we're gonna gonna die

00:26:44

okay so what is it

00:26:47

okay do your range spell attack

00:26:50

the hell is your range spell attack

00:27:01

oh i mean he has some range spells

00:27:09

yeah where is that i thought that was on here like just

00:27:18

guess not

00:27:22

this just has the attack bonus of like if you're using the staff as a

00:27:33

like a bludgeoning weapon

00:27:38

well that's not good for nobody

00:27:40

the marriage

00:27:42

son of a

00:27:43

bitch

00:27:43

i mean wasn't it uh

00:27:58

wasn't it like eight

00:28:00

well i've done it i've done this one before

00:28:07

that's some tools

00:28:32

i think it's one d8

00:28:33

does that sound right

00:28:41

no because you would have to roll a 20 and then you would add something to it

00:28:51

you would if you hit

00:28:53

you would if you hit make a range spell attack

00:28:55

because like for tiger's

00:29:04

lawn bow it has an attack bonus of seven

00:29:16

yeah mine uh my staff all it does is uh

00:29:19

uh

00:29:19

uh

00:29:19

uh

00:29:21

uh

00:29:21

if you choose to use those

00:29:24

yeah

00:29:25

but i think there's now

00:29:27

when i do that does that mean i have to hit them with that to initiate that or is that like a thing

00:29:31

no you have to say you have to tell me you're going to use it

00:29:35

oh okay

00:29:36

okay

00:29:37

um so i think i'm just going to say that you're

00:29:41

it's just plus two

00:29:45

okay

00:29:47

so you roll a d20 and then add two

00:29:58

okay so you got it so you got a 21 total

00:30:00

yeah

00:30:01

yeah

00:30:01

21 baby

00:30:02

that hits so now you do

00:30:05

uh roll one d8

00:30:08

okay

00:30:09

yeah

00:30:16

five okay

00:30:17

so you did five damage to that that cultist

00:30:23

five damage

00:30:25

now it is

00:30:28

this cultist turn

00:30:32

all right he's gonna move

00:30:42

and he's going to swing a scimitar

00:30:53

at

00:30:57

boo

00:30:57

oh

00:31:04

that's gonna hit

00:31:05

i assume that's gonna hit

00:31:26

for three points of damage

00:31:27

three points damage

00:31:31

hold on you should be at

00:31:36

oh you should be at 20

00:31:40

yeah

00:31:41

not

00:31:42

14

00:31:43

no

00:31:46

well

00:31:47

now you're at 17

00:31:48

that long bow i got andy

00:31:53

that's yeah

00:31:55

it's a little bit nicer right is it a bow plus one

00:31:58

it

00:32:00

is

00:32:01

it's one d10 plus three piercing damage

00:32:09

yeah it's uh it's uh it does more damage so on your original one you had to do 1d8 this one's the one

00:32:16

d10

00:32:16

okay

00:32:23

all right so you took your damage

00:32:25

okay now it is the one that was affected by the

00:32:31

the ray of frost

00:32:36

oh

00:32:47

oh

00:32:47

was that public

00:32:48

uh yeah i did see that

00:32:50

it should be

00:32:51

okay that's fine uh it doesn't do anything

00:32:57

so this cult is

00:33:06

okay it's gonna move closer to

00:33:08

who

00:33:11

no

00:33:12

that will end its turn

00:33:19

okay so this one succeeds and will also move closer

00:33:22

and its turn now it is tiger's turn

00:33:24

okay um

00:33:32

i'm still trying to figure it's trying to find

00:33:35

my items or weapons up here but i still don't see them so

00:33:40

okay

00:33:47

so it's uh

00:33:48

two-handed i'm going to move it in

00:33:53

closer to this one here not that that really matters it's probably just gonna get me in trouble

00:33:59

but all right uh roll with advantage how come because he was affected by the ray of frost

00:34:07

okay he's not going to be able to move that as fast all right so do two d20s

00:34:14

oh i did sorry i did d8

00:34:19

okay well you want to just stop there

00:34:31

because it's advantage i mean and then it's crit it's critical i don't know what that that doesn't mean anything right

00:34:36

or uh with your weapon attack score a critical hit on a roll of 19 or 20.

00:34:44

yeah so you definitely got a critical

00:34:56

what's this

00:35:00

oh

00:35:01

oh

00:35:01

oh

00:35:05

oh

00:35:06

when you score a critical hit you get to roll extra dice for the attacks damage against the target

00:35:11

oh so you get like a twofer roll all of the attacks damage dice twice and add them together

00:35:20

okay

00:35:20

okay so you have

00:35:22

two d8s

00:35:24

all right

00:35:25

um

00:35:31

it so mine says here one d8 plus two slashing

00:35:36

does is two slashing just something else that's not part of the damage

00:35:41

no well it'll be you add two more damage to your total so you're going to add four total

00:35:46

all right so this is plus two if i should have added 14 14

00:35:53

okay uh he is dead

00:35:56

holy crap

00:35:59

what i just sliced him in half that's pretty cool

00:36:04

straight up murdered him

00:36:08

well i didn't want to i just really just wanted to worship the blob

00:36:12

all right so this one moves closer

00:36:17

uh this one bjorkabak

00:36:24

moves and attacks you know summer

00:36:33

yeah he can move and attack he

00:36:35

well yeah within 30 feet

00:36:38

okay

00:36:39

and it was only 15 feet

00:36:41

sounds good to me

00:36:44

oh i rolled that

00:36:52

oh it was a 17

00:36:55

oh that's a

00:36:57

oh

00:37:05

oh six points of damage

00:37:19

okay

00:37:20

so you're at 19

00:37:24

you took me down

00:37:25

yes

00:37:26

all right

00:37:26

all right

00:37:26

all right

00:37:29

all right

00:37:29

boo

00:37:30

boo it is your turn

00:37:32

what are we gonna do what are we gonna do what are we gonna do

00:37:36

all right

00:37:36

probably attack

00:37:38

yeah i know that but what

00:37:41

just use your sword

00:37:44

i think i might use

00:37:47

magic missile

00:37:51

every time

00:37:52

every time i hear i don't know why when i hear magic missile i just think dick

00:37:55

is that weird i don't know it just sounds like something someone would call it someone would call their dick

00:38:03

you don't watch a lot of rocket launches do you

00:38:07

no

00:38:15

oh man that's fun all right so is the same thing as before 1d20

00:38:18

no

00:38:19

so you're gonna pick

00:38:21

three targets

00:38:23

they could be the same target they could be all different there could be two for one and one another

00:38:30

i'm gonna do the two around summer the one nearest me okay so one at each yeah

00:38:35

okay

00:38:37

magic mountain baby

00:38:39

so roll roll uh d4 three times please don't roll them together

00:38:46

d4

00:38:50

so you got two at let's just say this one

00:38:56

uh-huh okay okay i throw another one yeah

00:39:04

the r

00:39:04

oh that was a good roll that was a good one

00:39:10

okay and then

00:39:14

what was the third one you wanted to hit

00:39:16

uh the one next to me okay this is the one closest to me gotcha one more d4

00:39:26

tree

00:39:26

okay and that would and your turn

00:39:33

and start my turn

00:39:35

no

00:39:37

don't

00:39:38

all right

00:39:50

i'm assuming that four is not going to hit your ac

00:40:02

right no no i sorry i lost well it was it was for boo

00:40:13

uh okay

00:40:14

also not

00:40:15

poo

00:40:15

okay tiger it is your turn

00:40:26

i told you it was my turn

00:40:28

the two other cultists were were not able to move they're so sick from

00:40:36

growing up that yeah they're not able to to move this don't care gonna start guys start stab

00:40:41

okay

00:40:43

guess which one

00:40:46

the one next to me doesn't matter i missed you you've missed i was so excited because i was doing well for one turn literally

00:41:01

all right

00:41:01

all right

00:41:01

is it so he

00:41:03

this cultists to the right of tiger

00:41:07

takes a swing

00:41:12

and misses

00:41:14

and

00:41:15

misses

00:41:18

i assume

00:41:19

yes

00:41:20

this one on the other side of tiger

00:41:29

also misses

00:41:30

well hold on

00:41:32

you better

00:41:33

11.

00:41:47

i assume misses

00:41:49

yes

00:41:50

okay so boo it is your turn

00:41:52

all right

00:41:53

okay

00:41:57

i am going to use

00:41:59

um

00:42:09

so you used one of your magic missiles

00:42:13

i did

00:42:14

so now you got three level three left

00:42:17

okay i'm going to use

00:42:19

burning

00:42:22

i'm going to use burning hand on the one next to next to me

00:42:25

next to you okay

00:42:27

yeah

00:42:27

can you play some battle music andy

00:42:33

uh no

00:42:35

we get

00:42:36

we can

00:42:37

because i don't know how

00:42:38

that's probably better because i would put on like the battle music and it would just loop

00:42:45

like a one minute thing forever

00:42:47

yeah

00:42:48

did you put the pokemon theme on though that was always fun

00:42:52

yeah that's what i was thinking i was kind of hoping that wishing that the pokemon music was on right now

00:42:59

or the final fantasy or anything

00:43:01

battle music

00:43:02

uh oh what's this

00:43:03

uh so he rolled an eight

00:43:05

so he fell

00:43:08

and

00:43:08

so he did not do it so

00:43:10

and because since you have that cone ability

00:43:14

this cultist will also have to make a dexterity save and throw

00:43:18

hooray take that cone ability

00:43:21

he passes

00:43:22

oh so roll three d6s

00:43:26

one that's bad

00:43:36

four

00:43:40

it's better

00:43:42

eight

00:43:46

it's not bad

00:43:47

all right

00:43:49

so we win

00:43:51

he's dead

00:43:53

this one's dead

00:43:54

this one

00:43:58

takes some damage

00:44:03

oh

00:44:06

okay

00:44:09

now is this one that comes up to

00:44:14

boo

00:44:15

no no no

00:44:17

before that

00:44:19

oh he moved away

00:44:20

well because i got i forgot to do something

00:44:23

all right now he's out

00:44:24

wait was there not a rick and morty on sunday

00:44:35

they're on break right now

00:44:36

so that 15 hits your armor class

00:44:40

who

00:44:43

what what's your armor class

00:44:45

12 okay yeah it hits you

00:44:48

no all right

00:44:49

four

00:44:50

no all right

00:44:55

all right

00:45:00

for four damage

00:45:01

for four damage

00:45:05

so you're on damage

00:45:05

13

00:45:06

no

00:45:09

all

00:45:11

all right

00:45:11

so i'm at 14

00:45:14

yeah

00:45:15

all right cool

00:45:16

that's fine

00:45:17

oh

00:45:18

this is fine

00:45:21

all

00:45:22

house is on fire but it's fine

00:45:23

this is fine

00:45:25

that's what

00:45:26

it's okay

00:45:27

he this cultist is able to move and take a swing at you as well

00:45:30

this cultist

00:45:32

this cultist over here

00:45:35

this cultist thought it was just right

00:45:39

and

00:45:40

and okay so he misses and since he's one and he is burnt

00:45:47

i'm gonna make him roll another oh sorry i forgot to make that public uh he got a four

00:45:54

so he missed he missed me at you

00:45:57

that's because i've gotten credible skills right

00:46:01

okay he's gonna take two more damage from being burnt

00:46:05

i don't know i'm imagining like a burnt marshmallow

00:46:12

gross all right

00:46:13

all right some some your turn

00:46:15

oh i'm gonna swing wildly

00:46:18

yeah

00:46:21

everything

00:46:23

pick one

00:46:25

other one to my left

00:46:27

okay

00:46:29

all right uh roll your

00:46:37

d8

00:46:42

can it it's a it's a d10 if i was using left uh two-handed

00:46:46

oh yeah yeah you're right one do a d10

00:46:49

zero oh my gosh

00:46:59

i was like why would they even have a zero on there

00:47:02

i thought the same thing

00:47:05

they have a zero on there

00:47:10

why is there a zero

00:47:11

why eggs

00:47:13

guys

00:47:14

good

00:47:14

man oh okay so this

00:47:21

this this cultist

00:47:24

decides

00:47:24

to take a sweet a you

00:47:29

little

00:47:29

bitch

00:47:30

and he misses

00:47:32

yeah he does

00:47:33

he's a cult

00:47:33

he doesn't believe in anything

00:47:37

i taught him

00:47:37

i taught him

00:47:38

boo your turn

00:47:40

say what you will about the tenets of no

00:47:41

national socialism at least it was an ethos

00:47:44

and worse of a

00:47:45

fucking blob

00:47:46

all right

00:47:48

fuck uh

00:47:49

fuck i don't want to use any more of my

00:47:51

my good spells

00:47:51

uh

00:47:52

i'm gonna hit him with another ray of frost

00:47:54

and just frost these

00:47:55

fuckers

00:47:56

um nearest one so this guy right here i guess

00:47:59

you mean the one nearest me

00:48:02

yeah one nearest to him

00:48:03

uh yeah that one

00:48:06

yeah that one

00:48:07

okay

00:48:08

well that was easy

00:48:09

summer is in the way though

00:48:13

that's fine

00:48:15

can she dock

00:48:17

let it rip

00:48:17

for a skill check

00:48:20

let it rip

00:48:24

what is it one d20

00:48:25

roll one d20 plus

00:48:27

i think you have two

00:48:29

plus two

00:48:31

you miss

00:48:37

um

00:48:38

but also misses summer so that's good

00:48:41

summer

00:48:41

summer give me a

00:48:43

dexterity check

00:48:45

how about

00:48:47

i just lay low

00:48:50

how about you be dexterous

00:48:54

yeah buddy

00:48:56

you

00:48:57

he misses you both

00:48:59

very wildly

00:49:00

it wasn't

00:49:03

i

00:49:04

i my

00:49:04

i my

00:49:05

it turns out i didn't have the right eye closed

00:49:07

all right

00:49:11

um

00:49:11

the

00:49:13

cultist to the south

00:49:14

uh

00:49:14

or to the bottom of

00:49:15

of jerry is too busy puking

00:49:18

he's

00:49:21

yeah he is not looking good

00:49:22

he is really

00:49:23

and so is the one to the right of jerry

00:49:26

tiger your turn

00:49:27

nice i'm gonna swing wildly

00:49:29

okay

00:49:31

the one next

00:49:32

i assume it's the one next to you okay

00:49:34

i swing wildly

00:49:40

oh that's a critical so do

00:49:42

2d10

00:49:42

oh yeah it is

00:49:43

i can i roam at the same time

00:49:46

yeah

00:49:47

oh my gosh i am

00:49:49

dying

00:49:51

i've only heard that once before and that was when you're incredibly hung over

00:49:59

i'm dying

00:50:00

and he dies

00:50:01

oh yeah

00:50:03

man i'm slicing everyone in half this today

00:50:06

all right

00:50:07

boom

00:50:08

you're just like that except

00:50:09

the sword

00:50:11

uh let's keep up the good times with my rays of frost

00:50:17

all right

00:50:18

which one

00:50:18

um

00:50:21

you know either one

00:50:23

sir please stop chopping

00:50:24

and play the game

00:50:27

you gotta you gotta pick

00:50:29

uh the one by the rails i'm hoping he falls over it

00:50:33

the one to your right

00:50:35

yeah

00:50:35

okay

00:50:36

maybe he could follow freeze and fall over the rail and shatter maybe

00:50:41

why not zoid

00:50:44

roll a d20

00:50:45

he can die maybe

00:50:47

oh yeah that's a 71

00:50:56

it's it's an l1 actually

00:51:00

oh

00:51:01

so

00:51:03

do one d8

00:51:05

three

00:51:13

all right

00:51:15

well

00:51:16

you successfully put him out

00:51:20

he's not burnt anymore

00:51:21

so

00:51:24

oh no

00:51:26

good job of doing that

00:51:28

you've

00:51:30

you've soothed his

00:51:32

you've

00:51:33

his

00:51:33

his

00:51:34

you've salved his burns

00:51:36

uh

00:51:38

the one to the bottom of you takes a swing at you with his scimitar

00:51:43

and misses

00:51:44

yeah he misses

00:51:51

so now it is the one who is

00:51:55

burnt and frozen somehow

00:52:02

he definitely

00:52:03

he can't do anything he's too cold

00:52:05

and burnt and

00:52:08

vomiting everywhere

00:52:12

so i'm so

00:52:14

time to lick tits

00:52:15

i'm going

00:52:18

if i if i move up can i uh

00:52:20

you know what i'm gonna can i shoot at my arrow

00:52:23

sure

00:52:24

all right i'd like to shoot my arrow at uh

00:52:29

i would like to make a look over at uh jerry

00:52:32

at in sort of a nod to which one i should shoot

00:52:36

no i'm gonna shoot you

00:52:37

and he's pointing at the one to his left

00:52:44

so

00:52:46

from your point of view

00:52:47

from his point of view he's looking at

00:52:50

oh right yeah from my from my point of view

00:52:52

to his life

00:52:54

so the one that's burnt and frozen

00:52:56

yeah

00:52:57

oh he's gonna be arrowed

00:52:58

and puking

00:52:59

he's having a really shitty day

00:53:03

i don't know i think he likes the puking

00:53:04

i don't think so

00:53:06

okay so the longboard the longboard

00:53:09

the lawn board yeah

00:53:12

you're gonna shoot with the lawn board

00:53:14

yeah what how do i do it the same thing one d20

00:53:19

one d one d20 yeah okay

00:53:21

okay that hits plus four

00:53:27

no it's actually plus seven plus no

00:53:32

oh wow because your longbow yeah

00:53:35

why didn't i do this more often

00:53:36

no no so you can hit so roll

00:53:39

uh one d10

00:53:41

it doesn't matter you're gonna kill him so if you don't want to roll it

00:53:46

what what huh so he's only got three damage

00:53:51

i didn't say that

00:53:54

oh because he's almost dead because he was

00:53:59

frozen frozen and puking and bleeding very heavily

00:54:06

uh boo your turn

00:54:08

oh all right all right all right uh

00:54:11

how how much damage is the how's the does the one guy have i cannot tell you that you can't tell me that i'm gonna bludgeon

00:54:20

no

00:54:22

okay so was that one d6 no one d20

00:54:27

you have to actually hit him

00:54:36

i think that speaks for itself you hit him so now roll your

00:54:39

is it one d6 one d6 yeah

00:54:43

attack bonus of plus two

00:54:50

well yeah that was the you rolled a 15 so it's a 17 it hits

00:54:54

do you do six points he's dead now right

00:55:02

he's at least if he's not he's got one hell of a

00:55:06

what they call it a bump on his head

00:55:10

oh he's all right they call that a bump on his head

00:55:13

what they call it uh so now with all the with all the cult is dead

00:55:19

he's dead

00:55:19

hold on all right so the last cult is with this last

00:55:24

remain in breath

00:55:26

now he's remain in breath he's not dead

00:55:29

but what he does is he he calls for the creature that they were

00:55:34

making into this pit by vomiting into it oh yeah you're right this was too easy

00:55:41

and in order for for him to be summoned he has to

00:55:44

make a blood sacrifice so he

00:55:47

slits his throat no

00:55:49

stop him now he's dead though he's dead

00:55:53

we're out or out of the thick of it but this

00:55:58

ochre jelly comes out of the pit

00:56:01

and it's sitting on the rail i bet he just wants to talk

00:56:05

he does not want to talk he is very mad at you

00:56:10

for what for god's sakes for killing all of his followers

00:56:15

you just murdered them they attacked us for god's sakes i came in here to make a donation

00:56:21

what to puke i mean what kind is that i mean yeah

00:56:26

then puke i puke

00:56:30

you puke yeah give me a roll

00:56:37

um

00:56:37

it didn't see that one coming did you

00:56:40

you know give me a medicine roll all right

00:56:46

well how do i do that

00:56:48

that is go under your skills and then just normal oh yeah yeah

00:56:57

all right all right you puke and this puke climbs up and joins the

00:57:01

the uh

00:57:03

the okra jelly and now he has more health

00:57:08

now he is part of my team

00:57:11

can i puke

00:57:14

he says he just guess

00:57:16

roll

00:57:20

i think it's working

00:57:21

i think it's working roll a medicine check

00:57:23

uh it doesn't say so it'd be skills then

00:57:28

go let's go sorry

00:57:29

yeah

00:57:33

wait you're

00:57:34

why did booze only have a

00:57:37

oh it was a d10 or d20

00:57:42

all right um

00:57:43

um

00:57:43

the oh

00:57:45

oh

00:57:46

oh

00:57:47

oh

00:57:49

the puke that you just did

00:57:51

yeah so do i get my own

00:57:54

do i get my own little lob

00:57:56

towards the okra jelly

00:57:58

uh-huh

00:57:59

and the okra july gets stronger

00:58:01

oh so it backfired

00:58:05

yeah

00:58:06

yeah

00:58:06

no

00:58:06

no

00:58:07

how could i have known

00:58:08

he's half us at this point

00:58:09

he's more us than ochre

00:58:12

it even is an ochre

00:58:15

all right

00:58:18

ochre

00:58:18

barely newer

00:58:19

you guys just please did your turns

00:58:21

that was a turn

00:58:24

yo

00:58:24

that wasn't a turn that was just a little bit of fun

00:58:30

and we're trying to get this guy to join up with us

00:58:32

yeah and he's mostly us at this point

00:58:36

yeah come on man

00:58:37

come on man

00:58:38

let's have

00:58:39

let's have a

00:58:39

let's have a blob to the

00:58:40

to the

00:58:41

he goes up to

00:58:42

to cherry

00:58:43

let logic prevail

00:58:45

what's he doing

00:58:50

he rolls a

00:58:54

two what is it

00:58:57

a 13

00:59:03

so he's going to roll

00:59:04

two d6s

00:59:06

my god

00:59:08

he does four points of damage

00:59:15

oh that means he's a

00:59:17

bitch

00:59:17

yeah

00:59:19

right now it's

00:59:22

some some's turn

00:59:23

uh

00:59:24

do

00:59:25

i don't know

00:59:28

is it weak to arrows

00:59:29

i've never fought a jelly before

00:59:39

all right then you have no idea

00:59:42

but i'm smart

00:59:43

give me a nature check

00:59:47

give us an intelligence check

00:59:49

skills

00:59:53

nature

00:59:55

all right

00:59:56

six

00:59:59

you got no

01:00:01

fucking clue

01:00:01

all right

01:00:05

well i'm just gonna shoot an arrow at it anyway

01:00:07

oh minus one arrow

01:00:09

yeah

01:00:12

um

01:00:15

so it's plus seven

01:00:20

well yeah

01:00:33

that does not hit it

01:00:34

oh yes it does actually i'm sorry

01:00:38

suck it

01:00:39

so roll a d10

01:00:41

how many 13

01:00:44

one

01:00:45

oh nine points of damage

01:00:58

you almost took back what you added to it

01:01:02

jerry your turn

01:01:04

you puked and added 11 to his health points

01:01:08

11

01:01:10

that's what you rolled

01:01:12

that's unfair

01:01:14

you wanted to puke

01:01:17

i am going to use invisibility

01:01:21

what is that gonna do

01:01:22

getting out of here

01:01:25

what is that gonna do

01:01:32

maybe he's weak to being frozen

01:01:35

like a real jelly

01:01:37

all right well then i'm gonna use ray of frost

01:01:41

or is it too late

01:01:41

oh you could use red frost

01:01:44

yeah everyone likes ray of frost

01:01:45

it's a it's a staple of the game you know it's a classic

01:01:47

classic

01:01:50

but are but are they

01:01:51

weak to

01:01:53

just to

01:01:54

ray of frost jellies that is

01:01:55

he can't tell us

01:01:57

are you yeah you're you asking me

01:01:59

well i'm not asking bo

01:02:01

who roll a d20

01:02:06

all right you got it so then do

01:02:09

one d8

01:02:12

i bet he's gonna crack into a million pieces

01:02:17

do two damage

01:02:27

do damage to the jelly

01:02:30

the jelly and now he's dead

01:02:33

no

01:02:36

uh he takes uh what is it called

01:02:46

freezing damage

01:02:47

uh

01:02:50

no

01:02:50

he's gonna slow him down so he's gonna

01:02:53

he's gonna roll with disadvantage

01:02:54

so he is weak to

01:02:59

freezing damage

01:03:00

so i got oh yeah i forgot it does that

01:03:02

uh an 11

01:03:04

so it's

01:03:06

does not

01:03:07

turn it up to 11

01:03:08

tiger your turn

01:03:14

i will shoot wildly

01:03:15

okay

01:03:18

that's the jelly

01:03:21

okay

01:03:23

oh wait on plus seven

01:03:26

it's so it's 10

01:03:27

all right so roll one d10

01:03:38

another nine

01:03:39

nine

01:03:39

nine

01:03:40

and he vaporizes into a goo

01:03:42

nope

01:03:45

don't

01:03:46

boo

01:03:46

that's you

01:03:53

i know

01:03:55

oh god

01:03:57

um

01:03:59

i'm gonna put on some

01:04:00

i'm gonna put on shield

01:04:01

i'm gonna put on some music

01:04:02

that's not gonna help either

01:04:09

me i mean

01:04:10

okay

01:04:11

so that's your second

01:04:14

first level

01:04:16

okay

01:04:22

what's that do

01:04:22

how much does that

01:04:23

it just adds five to your ac

01:04:25

okay cool

01:04:26

so now the

01:04:28

the ochre jelly takes us to main that boot because he's still closest

01:04:32

i'm beginning to think maybe i should learn some magic

01:04:35

16 but he's gonna do it with disadvantage because he's still frozen

01:04:45

also he's got

01:04:46

he's got uh he's got that shield so you can't beat him

01:04:49

because shield puts him at 17

01:04:53

yeah

01:04:55

doesn't matter he rolled in a lot

01:04:57

so it's because it was at disadvantage

01:04:59

all right i'm gonna go make another drink

01:05:01

what

01:05:02

what should i do

01:05:04

think about your next turn very carefully

01:05:09

very carefully

01:05:10

i will add though you shot him with those arrows

01:05:13

they're dissolved now you cannot pick them out of the body

01:05:15

all right you mean we can't pocket pick at this thing

01:05:20

no

01:05:21

it's mostly acid

01:05:23

it is vomit it's acid it's mostly ass

01:05:27

it

01:05:29

oh

01:05:30

it's not a little bit of a towel

01:05:40

it's not

01:05:57

the foundry thing just shut off

01:06:03

yeah i was trying to update one of the packages but it's not doing it so

01:06:09

because you broke the rules this is how you pay

01:06:23

okay

01:06:23

okay

01:06:35

okay

01:06:35

okay

01:06:37

okay

01:06:37

Thank you.

01:08:37

I need administrator access to Foundry.

01:08:42

Why?

01:08:43

I don't know.

01:08:45

It just popped up.

01:08:46

It can boog it in?

01:08:50

No, you don't.

01:08:51

I just don't remember.

01:08:52

I told you.

01:08:52

It was like off and you said you were trying to do something.

01:08:56

But it should be back up now.

01:08:59

What if you do Foundry slash or like just refresh it?

01:09:05

I just refreshed it.

01:09:06

I just refreshed it.

01:09:06

It's working.

01:09:07

Sorry about that.

01:09:10

I was trying to update a module, but no dice.

01:09:14

Oh, okay.

01:09:17

Because I still don't see.

01:09:19

I don't see the inventory.

01:09:20

And so for like the rolls and stuff.

01:09:24

Oh, okay.

01:09:33

Okay.

01:09:33

Tiger, it is your turn.

01:09:35

I'm going to shoot an arrow at it.

01:09:41

Okay.

01:09:43

One D20.

01:09:57

Oh, that's a critical, baby.

01:09:59

The critical, so do 2D10s.

01:10:01

I can roll them all at once?

01:10:03

Yeah.

01:10:04

We'll just add six.

01:10:05

2D10s plus six?

01:10:07

Yeah.

01:10:07

Well, no, we'll do three.

01:10:08

3D10s?

01:10:10

No.

01:10:11

2D6 plus three.

01:10:13

Because it's still only one arrow.

01:10:15

You're not shooting two arrows, so you're not going to get double the amount of piercing damage.

01:10:23

Okay.

01:10:23

So 2D8.

01:10:25

2D10.

01:10:27

It should be.

01:10:29

Why would it be 10?

01:10:30

Because of your new bow.

01:10:33

Oh, shit.

01:10:35

That has a plus three on it.

01:10:43

Yeah.

01:10:44

Alright.

01:10:47

So it's dead now.

01:10:48

Ooh, your turn.

01:10:51

Well, Ray of Frost is dead.

01:10:54

Again?

01:10:56

Yeah, dude.

01:10:57

Alright.

01:10:57

One.

01:10:58

He loves it.

01:10:59

That's the 1D20.

01:11:03

I learned to love it.

01:11:04

What is that?

01:11:08

Carl Winslow?

01:11:09

Alright, you hit it.

01:11:12

And then you do...

01:11:13

It dissolves.

01:11:14

1D8.

01:11:20

You know what, dude.

01:11:21

Do another D8 for me.

01:11:23

Just because it's been hit so many times, it's cold.

01:11:37

Alright, it's the ochre jellies turn.

01:11:39

It takes a swinging at blue.

01:11:42

No!

01:11:43

It's cold!

01:11:45

It's so cold.

01:11:51

Alright.

01:11:52

Alright.

01:11:52

A six so it does not hit.

01:11:53

Tiger, your turn.

01:11:55

Cool.

01:11:56

I'm going to hit it.

01:11:57

Oh, hold on.

01:11:58

Let me mark the other arrow.

01:11:59

One more arrow.

01:12:01

Alright.

01:12:02

I say that like I'm going to stop hitting it with arrows after this turn, but I'm just going

01:12:08

to keep pummeling it with arrows.

01:12:15

Okay.

01:12:15

No.

01:12:19

Oh, you got a critical failure.

01:12:21

Plus seven.

01:12:22

No, it's still a critical failure.

01:12:25

Um.

01:12:27

You know what?

01:12:29

Boo.

01:12:30

No.

01:12:31

Give me a dexterity check.

01:12:33

All right.

01:12:41

You pass.

01:12:42

Uh.

01:12:44

You dodge out of the way as, as summer's arrow comes flying right towards your head.

01:12:49

Yeah.

01:12:50

What are you thinking?

01:12:51

Summer?

01:12:52

Uh.

01:12:54

The arrow hits, hits a wall and shatters into pieces.

01:12:57

Why?

01:12:58

Because you got a critical failure.

01:13:01

You fucking deserve it.

01:13:02

The critical failure was almost hitting, uh, Jerry.

01:13:08

I don't know.

01:13:10

I take that as a pretty successful win for both of us.

01:13:13

Because I'm fighting a vomit monster right now.

01:13:19

This is as low as I can get.

01:13:21

Maybe you should throw up again.

01:13:22

Do you think so?

01:13:25

That's over.

01:13:37

It's got disadvantage.

01:13:38

Oh.

01:13:39

So it does not hit.

01:13:43

Tiger, your turn.

01:13:44

Okay.

01:13:46

Okay.

01:13:57

No, it's, uh, D20.

01:13:59

Oh, now that's a critical.

01:14:05

That is a critical.

01:14:07

Swing.

01:14:09

Home runner strikeout.

01:14:11

Do D, two D10s.

01:14:14

Plus three.

01:14:23

D10.

01:14:23

D10.

01:14:24

D10.

01:14:25

That has a plus three in there.

01:14:26

So 19.

01:14:27

Okay.

01:14:27

Oh, he's gonna get, he's gonna get roasted.

01:14:30

It's roasted.

01:14:32

So, as the ochre jelly is dying, it's dissolving into the floor.

01:14:36

But it's some, it, it gathers together big enough.

01:14:41

You just reach up and it holds out a middle finger looking hand at you guys.

01:14:46

Hey.

01:14:47

I love it.

01:14:48

Uh, you know that sermon, that, that scene at the end of the Terminator?

01:14:51

Yeah.

01:14:52

He's holding his thumb up before, yeah, it's like that.

01:14:54

It's like that.

01:14:55

The middle, the middle finger goes into the, the puddle.

01:14:59

I flug off the puddle.

01:15:01

I don't know why he's so mad at us.

01:15:03

We didn't even do anything.

01:15:04

You killed his followers.

01:15:06

Yeah, but they, they attacked us.

01:15:10

All right, so you defeated that.

01:15:12

Now what?

01:15:15

Uh, I'm pretty stoked.

01:15:21

I feel like that went, I feel like that went pretty well.

01:15:25

I think it went better than snot.

01:15:30

That was bad.

01:15:33

That was a bad pun.

01:15:34

I knows.

01:15:36

That was better, but, uh, it's also not snot.

01:15:44

It was vomit.

01:15:44

So still a bad pun.

01:15:47

Oh, okay.

01:15:48

Wow.

01:15:48

Minus strain.

01:15:50

All right.

01:15:51

So what can, is there anything to be seen about this room?

01:15:54

If I, I'm going to walk around this like path and like kind of look at the, uh,

01:16:00

Okay.

01:16:00

Give me a perception check.

01:16:01

At the, the, the, the fire pit in the bottom.

01:16:04

Okay.

01:16:05

Yeah.

01:16:07

Well, it's not really a fire pit.

01:16:08

It's a pit.

01:16:09

Oh, it's just a pit.

01:16:11

Okay.

01:16:11

Yeah.

01:16:12

There's no fire.

01:16:13

There's no fire.

01:16:14

It's just.

01:16:14

This must be an optical illusion.

01:16:16

It is.

01:16:18

Yeah.

01:16:22

Five.

01:16:23

All right.

01:16:23

You perceive nothing.

01:16:24

Nothing.

01:16:26

All right.

01:16:30

Then I guess I'll just keep going forward.

01:16:32

I'll just leave out that door.

01:16:34

Yeah.

01:16:36

Yeah.

01:16:38

Okay.

01:16:40

All right.

01:16:51

Oh, it's a boat.

01:16:53

All very astute.

01:16:56

Was that Chicago?

01:17:00

No, it's Gary.

01:17:03

Indiana.

01:17:07

My home sweet home.

01:17:10

Chicago.

01:17:12

No.

01:17:13

Gary, Indiana.

01:17:14

Oh, Gary, Indiana.

01:17:16

Gary, Indiana.

01:17:17

My home sweet home.

01:17:18

I don't know that song.

01:17:21

We've had a lot of fun so far, folks.

01:17:23

But this next room is truly horrifying.

01:17:26

Dear near darkness fills this room and the sound of gently sloshing water echoes off the

01:17:31

walls.

01:17:32

A robo bobs in a slow moving stream tied by a rope to a small concrete pier.

01:17:39

The horde oily water flowing in the stream looks suspiciously like pancreatic juice.

01:17:46

Oh, no.

01:17:48

We're going to Pirates of the Pancreas.

01:17:53

They're very rapey.

01:17:54

They don't hold back.

01:17:57

They're very rapey.

01:17:57

They don't hold back.

01:17:59

That sounds like season one stuff.

01:18:00

Just because it is.

01:18:03

All right.

01:18:03

What do you guys do?

01:18:05

I'm getting on the boat.

01:18:10

Yeah, I guess.

01:18:11

So you get in the boat?

01:18:17

Yeah.

01:18:18

I don't know.

01:18:19

This reminds me of...

01:18:20

Remember the boat scene from Willy Wonka?

01:18:23

Oh, yeah.

01:18:24

It terrified me as a child and as an adult.

01:18:27

And also as a child again.

01:18:31

Okay, so I assume you guys undo the rope and you start heading down the water that looks

01:18:37

like pancreatic juice?

01:18:39

I don't know where this boat's going.

01:18:40

I'm just in it.

01:18:41

Well, it's still tied up.

01:18:44

Oh.

01:18:45

I mean, yeah.

01:18:46

We're going to have to cast off.

01:18:48

Cast off.

01:18:50

I slice it with sword.

01:18:52

With sword?

01:18:53

Okay.

01:18:54

I'm not even going to make you check for that.

01:18:56

I should because the way you've been rolling.

01:19:00

You might end up chopping your foot off.

01:19:02

I killed 14 cultists and a slime, so...

01:19:05

You might accidentally chop off your...

01:19:08

Melissa, your butt cheek.

01:19:10

You might be a hot dog.

01:19:11

Got you there.

01:19:14

As the boat...

01:19:15

Okay, so the boat starts moving.

01:19:17

The walls flash with bright images.

01:19:18

A parrot, doubloon, and a treasure map.

01:19:22

The dread is palpable.

01:19:24

You can feel it in the air.

01:19:25

You have no idea what's going to come next.

01:19:27

Mm-hmm.

01:19:29

But it definitely feels like pirates.

01:19:32

And pancreas.

01:19:34

So...

01:19:38

So you're moving up.

01:19:39

The characters see a...

01:19:42

You guys...

01:19:43

Where are the characters?

01:19:43

The adventurers party, yeah.

01:19:44

You see a glowing exit sign hanging over a dimly visible door.

01:19:51

Do you stay on the boat or do you get out?

01:19:54

Wait, is there more we can keep going?

01:19:57

You can keep going or you can leave the exit.

01:20:00

There's a big sign above the door that says emergency exits.

01:20:05

Oh, I'm staying on the boat.

01:20:06

Yeah, I'm not...

01:20:07

It's not an emergency.

01:20:12

You're not too scared of the pirates?

01:20:14

Nah.

01:20:15

No.

01:20:15

Summer.

01:20:17

Summer.

01:20:17

I know, they're rapey.

01:20:19

Yeah, I know.

01:20:20

They're awfully rapey.

01:20:21

Yeah, I know they're rapey, but I've got a sword.

01:20:23

And I've got 15 arrows.

01:20:26

Maybe 14.

01:20:28

15 arrows.

01:20:30

All right.

01:20:31

So you find the boat floating into a well-lit cavern.

01:20:35

You find yourself gazing into a cavern of nightmares.

01:20:39

Magically animated pirate mannequins act out their twisted follies.

01:20:43

Some clank mugs together.

01:20:46

Others sit atop barrels and belt out demonic shanties.

01:20:49

And still others play keep away with a stolen peg leg.

01:20:52

It's mayhem of the worst kind.

01:20:56

Peradical.

01:20:59

Which I also did not know was a word.

01:21:01

It's not.

01:21:02

Oh.

01:21:04

At the prowl of a horrible wooden ship stands a mannequin wearing a large, terrifying pirate hat.

01:21:11

A pirate hat?

01:21:19

Just the hat?

01:21:20

He's wearing a pirate hat.

01:21:21

Oh.

01:21:22

He's wearing a pirate hat.

01:21:24

Does he look friendly?

01:21:29

All right.

01:21:30

The mannequin turns with an unnatural speed and stares at you.

01:21:33

No.

01:21:34

I.

01:21:34

Grimes to a halt.

01:21:36

Boy me hearties.

01:21:38

Answer me rental or I'll scuttle you.

01:21:40

Peradical is a word.

01:21:43

You Googled it.

01:21:44

That's what you were worried about.

01:21:46

You're floating down this river of pancreatic juice with parrots on the wall and dead bodies.

01:21:53

Well, not dead bodies.

01:21:53

What was it?

01:21:55

It was a mechanic, magically animated pirate mannequins.

01:21:59

Yeah.

01:22:00

And you're Googling paratical?

01:22:01

Paratical?

01:22:03

Parabola.

01:22:04

Parabola.

01:22:06

I needed to know.

01:22:10

All right.

01:22:15

So the pirate captain is a nightmarishly well programmed magical animatronic.

01:22:20

Oh, I see.

01:22:23

And what?

01:22:31

Do you have some kind of riddle for us?

01:22:35

Yes.

01:22:36

All right.

01:22:40

What's your damn, what's your damn, what's your damn riddle?

01:22:43

Arr.

01:22:44

A landlubber has a barrel full of gold coins that is, that weighs 500 pounds.

01:22:50

Then he puts something in the barrel and ho, now it weighs less than 500 pounds.

01:22:55

What did he put in the barrel?

01:22:58

It's helium.

01:23:03

That's your final answer.

01:23:05

Now let us through.

01:23:06

Now let us through.

01:23:08

We put helium in there.

01:23:09

I gotta admit, helium is pretty compelling.

01:23:13

That was so quick with the answer too.

01:23:21

He was like, that's easy.

01:23:22

Helium.

01:23:23

It's helium.

01:23:24

It's helium.

01:23:24

He's doing calculations right now.

01:23:32

You know, he's pondering the, meditating the situation.

01:23:36

Pondering.

01:23:39

You know.

01:23:40

Does, uh, does this ghost kind of look like, uh, the Flying Dutchman from SpongeBob?

01:23:51

No.

01:23:58

All right.

01:23:59

All right.

01:23:59

Really putting me in the spot.

01:24:04

You didn't think I would get it right so fast, did you?

01:24:08

Did you?

01:24:13

Did you?

01:24:13

The captain goes, arr.

01:24:18

I didn't know anyone could be that stupid.

01:24:20

Ah!

01:24:21

Yeah.

01:24:23

And I got it right on the first try.

01:24:24

And he fires his cannon at you.

01:24:26

No, no.

01:24:27

Not the cannon.

01:24:28

And you take.

01:24:29

Oh, I get it.

01:24:30

Let me do one.

01:24:39

You will take three points of bludgeoning damage.

01:24:41

You got hit with the cannon.

01:24:50

That's bullshit.

01:24:53

It's not bullshit.

01:24:55

That was a stupid answer.

01:24:56

No, it wasn't.

01:24:59

I think he should redo his calculations because if he filled it with helium, it would be less heavy.

01:25:05

The barrel is open.

01:25:09

That's just physics.

01:25:11

The barrel's open.

01:25:15

And full of helium.

01:25:17

The helium goes up out the top of the barrel.

01:25:20

Not if it's solid helium.

01:25:22

Are you going to keep arguing?

01:25:24

It's frozen helium.

01:25:26

You're going to keep arguing?

01:25:27

No.

01:25:28

You sure?

01:25:30

Yes.

01:25:31

I already got hit with a goddamn cannon.

01:25:34

All right.

01:25:37

So what was it?

01:25:37

I wasn't listening.

01:25:38

What was the riddle?

01:25:40

As your boat starts sinking into this pancreatic juice.

01:25:47

Tell me the riddle.

01:25:48

No.

01:25:51

Figure it out and come back later.

01:25:54

But I don't know what it is.

01:25:56

Figure it out and come back later.

01:26:00

Figure out what it is?

01:26:01

You're not very good at this, troll.

01:26:06

Pretty sure it had something to do with, you know, a bag of steel cut oats.

01:26:13

All right.

01:26:14

So now you guys only have one way to go.

01:26:16

Yeah.

01:26:17

So you have to keep swimming forward.

01:26:19

What about the riddle?

01:26:23

I assume.

01:26:24

No.

01:26:26

You got it wrong.

01:26:27

He's right to be pissed.

01:26:30

I want another crack at it.

01:26:34

I want another crack at it.

01:26:37

I yell at the pirate.

01:26:42

You rolled for me by accident.

01:26:48

Oh, you're right.

01:26:49

It doesn't matter.

01:26:50

Oh, there's the pirate.

01:26:53

I didn't see him before.

01:26:54

It's Hondo.

01:26:55

Yeah.

01:26:56

It's Hondo Onaka.

01:26:58

He loves money.

01:27:01

That's an animatronic Hondo.

01:27:05

It is the animatronic Hondo because it's an animatronic pirate captain.

01:27:12

Now you listen to me pirate.

01:27:13

You tell me that riddle one more time.

01:27:14

Or I'll pump you full.

01:27:19

A landlubber.

01:27:20

A landlubber has a barrel full of gold coins that weighs 500 pounds.

01:27:25

An open barrel.

01:27:27

Then he puts something in the barrel and ho.

01:27:31

Now it weighs less than 500 pounds.

01:27:35

What did he put in the barrel, you dogs?

01:27:37

Hmm.

01:27:40

Jerry, do you have any ideas?

01:27:44

Can we try helium again?

01:27:45

It's not going to work.

01:27:47

No, we're not trying that again.

01:27:48

He's going to blast this full of cannon.

01:27:51

Again.

01:27:52

Is it nothing?

01:27:59

No, that doesn't make any sense.

01:28:02

That's not going to go less.

01:28:05

I think my ex-wife.

01:28:07

She loves fucking money.

01:28:08

What?

01:28:12

So it's...

01:28:13

Um...

01:28:18

So it has 500 gold.

01:28:22

500 pounds.

01:28:25

Of gold.

01:28:30

And you're just wading through like this pancreatic juice while you're trying to answer this riddle that...

01:28:36

What about, you know, um...

01:28:41

What if we added space?

01:28:45

Yo, what?

01:28:49

Is that your final answer?

01:28:52

That's not even an answer.

01:28:53

What if we added space?

01:28:56

Adding more space?

01:28:56

You know, like, you know, I don't know.

01:29:04

I'm trying to think of this.

01:29:05

Is this like a pun?

01:29:06

Is this like a wordplay?

01:29:07

Oh, I'm sure it's a pun.

01:29:09

I mean, all rules are puns, which I thought you'd make you good at it.

01:29:13

But, uh...

01:29:14

Unfortunately not.

01:29:18

Maybe we should just swim.

01:29:20

This is...

01:29:21

Who's Googling it?

01:29:22

I heard some keys clacking.

01:29:23

No, I'm not Googling it.

01:29:26

I'm fidgeting with my pen.

01:29:28

Oh, okay.

01:29:29

Yeah.

01:29:30

I mean, this is...

01:29:31

I mean, Boo's looking directly at his phone.

01:29:33

Where...

01:29:33

Where you go...

01:29:35

I don't know.

01:29:36

Let's try Y.

01:29:37

And you guys got it fucking right.

01:29:43

Well, we tried helium already.

01:29:45

Y again?

01:29:46

I'd say Y.

01:29:48

We add more Y to this.

01:29:49

It's better not to answer than to answer something bad.

01:29:57

Because he's gonna shoot us with his cannon again.

01:30:00

Just like he made that goddamn jelly stronger from us vomiting.

01:30:05

Trying to bond with the jelly.

01:30:11

I don't know.

01:30:12

Um...

01:30:13

All right.

01:30:14

You got any suggestions of a riddle?

01:30:16

No, I don't know what the pun is.

01:30:19

Can you give us a hint?

01:30:19

No, and he lights the fuse.

01:30:23

Oh, come on, man.

01:30:24

You're being a jerk.

01:30:25

Fuse of what?

01:30:26

For the cannon.

01:30:29

Oh, we better get swimming.

01:30:30

We better get swimming.

01:30:33

I'm swimming.

01:30:37

All right.

01:30:37

So you come up to the door.

01:30:39

I assume you're gonna go through the door.

01:30:42

Do I have another option?

01:30:44

Is it...

01:30:45

Is it riddle protected?

01:30:46

You can try to...

01:30:46

No, you can try to answer the...

01:30:49

The riddle.

01:30:50

So we can't keep swimming past it?

01:30:53

No.

01:30:54

All right.

01:30:55

Then I guess we'll go through the door.

01:30:57

All right.

01:31:00

All right.

01:31:04

Oh, God.

01:31:05

This also reminds me of Willy Wonka.

01:31:09

In the chocolate factory?

01:31:12

Yeah.

01:31:13

Remember when you go see that little door?

01:31:14

Oh, yeah.

01:31:16

Sometimes I wonder the Google searches that led you to the pictures that you've chosen.

01:31:23

Did you just Google search door?

01:31:32

No, I put Houndstooth floor.

01:31:33

You put what?

01:31:37

Houndstooth floor.

01:31:38

That's not really what I put.

01:31:41

I don't remember what I put.

01:31:43

I was gonna say, I wonder how this plays into it.

01:31:45

Why would he search Houndstooth floor?

01:31:47

This room is totally, completely empty.

01:31:54

Oh, you guys smell like pancreatic juice, by the way.

01:31:56

What?

01:31:57

Is that gonna be like a minus on our charisma checks?

01:32:00

Yeah, charisma is gonna be a disadvantage.

01:32:02

Yeah.

01:32:03

My charisma was already pretty bad.

01:32:05

And also, we've rolled, like, no charisma checks.

01:32:08

We all know.

01:32:09

Shut up.

01:32:11

This room is totally, completely, and suspiciously empty.

01:32:15

The only visible feature is the exit door on the other side.

01:32:23

I go through it.

01:32:24

You know, you just walk through the door that you, you came in?

01:32:29

I thought you said that all you could see was the door on the other side.

01:32:33

Oh, yeah.

01:32:34

It's locked.

01:32:35

Oh.

01:32:36

I'll knock on it.

01:32:38

Nothing happens.

01:32:40

Knock on it again.

01:32:44

Okay.

01:32:45

Okay.

01:32:45

The door opens, and an identical party of adventurers enter.

01:32:49

I am you suspiciously.

01:32:51

It's not a curse for me or whatever.

01:32:54

I'm not a damn hack.

01:32:55

These are identical versions of you.

01:32:58

In the interest of efficiency, I sent another dimensions versions of you into the dungeon right

01:33:03

when you started.

01:33:04

Admittedly, this meeting is pretty awkward.

01:33:08

But I'm sure we can sort it out.

01:33:10

Wait, so we just needed to knock twice?

01:33:14

No.

01:33:17

I'm thinking maybe we could solve this riddle now.

01:33:20

Have I tried the word, have I tried space?

01:33:25

Can we add more space to the box yet?

01:33:27

A cannonball flies through the side of the room.

01:33:32

What?

01:33:32

What about helium in space?

01:33:36

No.

01:33:39

All right.

01:33:40

I'm probably going to end it there before this.

01:33:41

Wait.

01:33:42

This battle.

01:33:44

Battle?

01:33:45

With what?

01:33:46

Maybe.

01:33:47

Ourselves?

01:33:48

I was going to talk and maybe romance.

01:33:51

Is it sex or masturbation?

01:33:57

It doesn't matter.

01:33:59

We'll be right back.

01:34:01

Bye.

01:34:02

Bye.

01:34:02

Bye.

01:34:02

Bye.

01:34:12

you

01:34:14

Thank you.

Episode 5